Author's Note: HELLO AGAIN! I'm trying to make up for the recent lack of update by being a bit speedier to post chapters, although I can't promise for how long I'll be able to keep this up. This one has been planned for a while - I hope I get at least a fraction of the emotion across in this as I felt when writing it.
You may also notice the arc name is different - true to form and due to my waffling, I realised that I won't finish this story in four arcs, and the last arc was always due to be called Deliverance, so I've added an extra arc for our current place in the story which actually fits better anyway. I've been listening to a lot of songs as inspiration for this chapter, and have made a Spotify playlist which I'll share on Tumblr for anyone who's interested and could do with a good cry haha! Anyway, enough of my rubbish. I hope you enjoy!
ARC 4: REVELATION
'The act of making something known that was a secret, or a fact that is made known.'
CHAPTER 37: Parting Vow
Levi Ackerman respected Hange Zoe to his very core, despite how it might've seemed to outside eyes at times. He respected her quick, analytical mind, her bravery and guts, her compassion for her comrades and subordinates, and her sense of humour, which was equally as shitty as his. He respected her, and even though she sometimes got on his last nerve, he resolved to follow her leadership loyally, the way he'd followed Erwin's.
But on the morning of Eren's disappearance, for the first time he could ever remember, Levi wanted to tell Hange that she was a fucking idiot and an imbecile and so very wrong in the decision she was making.
He wanted to tell her that, and proceeded to do so, for all of five minutes.
And then his sense kicked in.
"What the fuck do you mean, we go after him?"
Hange sat back into her chair, her hands forming a steeple as her one eye fixed Levi over the rim of her glasses.
"Well; I confided in you about the idea of reaching out during peace talks. Funnily enough, there's a forum being held regarding Eldians status in the next couple of weeks, according to Kiyomi. I'd thought it was too soon, but now …"
Levi stared at her incredulously. "Are you shitting me? You want us to go to Marley in the hopes of being welcomed with open arms, so that you can go and try and make friends while me and my squad chase Eren around an enemy nation without the faintest clue what he has planned? What if it's a trap?"
Hange tilted her head to one side. "Are you at a point where you have zero trust left for Eren?"
Levi grit his teeth. "I'm close. I'm very fucking close."
"But there's still some trust there?"
Levi folded his arms. "I don't know, honestly. What about you?"
Hange appeared to consider for a moment, leaning forward to place her elbows on her desk and rest her chin on her clasped hands. "He told several people where he was going. He wants us to follow. It could be a trap, but somehow, I doubt it. He's given us enough time to catch up to him before he could really do very much in the way of setting anything up. I honestly think we should go – if we leave today, we'll be in a good position to-"
"Today!?" Levi glared at her. "Are you serious? You're damn crazy!"
Hange frowned at him. "We need to locate Eren as a priority."
"Shit!" Levi's face twisted into a pained expression. "I know that. But …"
His Commander stared at him while he chewed over his words. She raised a slender brow. "Historia?"
Without warning, Levi slammed his fist against the side of her bookcase, making her jump. Several heavy volumes tipped onto the floor with a thud. He glared at the wooden structure as though it had personally offended him for a long moment, before dropping his hand back to his side.
"Shit. How can I leave her like this? I'm supposed to be protecting her." He stooped to pick up and replace the books before they soured his mood further, then turned to face Hange. "You want … all our best soldiers … to leave her unprotected while we go to an enemy nation to face fuck knows what? And, according to what we know of Eren's intentions so far, to bring that bastard hairy fuck back with us!?"
This was madness.
Hange shook her head. Her hand dipped into her desk drawer, and she pulled out a sheaf of paper. "She won't be left unprotected." The paper was slid across the polished wood surface towards him. He stepped forward, peering down at the document. "What's this? Are you trying to piss me off even more? You know I already have paperwork coming out of my ass, I don't need –"
"Shut up and read the damn thing."
He swiped the page up, eyes narrowed as he scanned the words. The presence of two signatures at the bottom made his brows raise.
He looked up at Hange.
"They know? These fuckers know?"
Hange merely nodded. "Don't give me that look. They're with us; you're both safe."
Levi squared his jaw. "How long? How long have they known?"
"Since the start, virtually."
It was all Levi could do to stop himself putting his fist through Hange's bookcase this time.
"So – at the Banquet – when fucking Nile was making all those shitty remarks – he knew?"
Hange nodded again.
"That rat bastard!"
"Levi – what matters is, they've given me their word. They won't let any harm come to the Queen, which is just as well now we find ourselves in this position."
"No!" Levi surged forward, planting both hands on Hange's desk. "This is bullshit. It should be me; I should be the one protecting her!" He leaned towards her, his muscles taut suddenly with adrenaline and anger. "It's my responsibility. She's – they're - my responsibility."
Hange didn't shrink back, but held his gaze calmly. "That is the Ackerman in you talking. That's not what you believe, Levi. You know the right thing to do is to come to Marley. This operation is far more dangerous without you as Captain to lead your squad. We can't rule out hostilities. I need you by my side. We need to retrieve Eren. If Marley take the Founder, all of Paradis – Historia included – is in mortal danger. Zeke has professed to be our ally in all of this so far; Zeke is the reason you and Historia ever evolved into this relationship in the first place. We have to trust our plan and we have to locate Eren. If that means bringing Zeke back to Paradis too, then we do it. And you will be the one charged with his detainment – as we previously discussed."
Levi moved to grip the edge of Hange's desk, his knuckles white. He inhaled slowly through his nose, but he didn't speak. His head was beginning to throb uncomfortably.
"Levi – you can't let your judgement be clouded by this right now – I know it's difficult –"
"Hange. You were the one who encouraged me down this damn road. And now you're telling me to forget about it?"
"No. I'm telling you to use it. If you really want to keep Historia safe – if you really love her – then the best way to protect her right now is to go to Marley."
Levi's hand was clutching his head before he could stop it. He gave a tsk of annoyance as his fingers massaged his temple. "Fucking … fine. You're right. I know. I just … I'm not sure she'll see it that way. I have to go to her – before we leave, I need to tell her."
Hange frowned, before leaning closer to him across her desk. "You mustn't let her stop you, Levi. Don't let your judgement be skewed by her words – because her words will be more powerful than either of you realise at this point."
Historia tried desperately to lose herself in her book again as she awaited Levi's return, but the hours moseyed by slowly, and she found herself re-reading the same passages repeatedly without registering anything of what they were actually saying.
She wondered what was happening back at the Survey Corps HQ; what Commander Hange's reaction to Eren's disappearance was, and what she and her Captain were discussing.
She abandoned her book at some point and wandered into the kitchen to get to work on the pie she'd thought about earlier. There were plenty of autumn berries to use, and despite noticing Levi wasn't particularly over enamoured with sweet things, he'd yet to turn down anything she'd cooked for him.
Finally, the sound of the front door opening made her heart lurch upwards into her throat. She carelessly tossed aside the cloth she'd been using to wash her cooking utensils and rushed into the hallway, only to find George hanging his coat.
"Oh … hi."
He gave her a lopsided smile. "Wow … I can't remember the last time someone was this pleased to see me."
Historia folded her arms, hugging her own waist around her protruding stomach as she looked away sheepishly. "Sorry. I just thought you were someone else …"
George nodded knowingly. "Captain Levi?"
Historia's gaze snapped back to his. "Have you seen him?"
"No. I'm just used to being his disappointing second these days. Are you expecting him today? Do you think he knows about Eren?"
Historia sighed, leaning her shoulder against the doorframe to the kitchen. "He does. I've already seen him – he came here while you were out with the children, but he had to leave to go and speak to the Commander."
"Ah …"
George looked like he was about to say something else, but Historia jumped in before he had chance. "I'm making berry pie – it should be ready shortly." With that, she turned on her heel and headed back into the kitchen. George followed with a frown.
It was almost an hour after George's return that the familiar knock Historia had been hoping to hear finally resounded through the farmhouse. She couldn't suppress the ridiculous grin that spread up into her cheeks when she found Levi standing on the front porch again.
"I wasn't sure you were going to come back."
His face seemed even stonier than usual, and for a moment, that realisation made her heart stutter uncomfortably, and her smile faltered. But then he spoke.
"I try not to go back on my word."
Her grin returned, and she gestured for him to follow her inside. "I'll get George to make us some tea; I bet you've not had any chance to eat today either, have you? What with all this riding back and forth." She spoke animatedly as she led him to the sitting room, filled with an undeniable joy at having him to herself again. "Well, just as well, because I made pie. I know you like my pastry – "
"Historia."
The level of resolution in his baritone sent a sudden chill the length of her spine. She stopped and turned, fighting to keep the warm smile on her face. "Yes?"
He merely looked at her for a moment. His features, on the whole, seemed to betray no emotion. But his eyes … the look in his eyes meant she knew better.
Finally, he spoke again. "I'm going to Marley."
I'm going to Marley.
His words echoed against Eren's from the night previous in her mind, and it almost seemed funny – were they all trying to play a joke on her? All the people she cared about in her life, just taking it upon themselves to flit off to the very nation that had condemned them all as devils and would sooner execute them on the spot than look at them if they were aware of just who was setting foot on their soil?
It might be funnier if it wasn't so absurd.
She let out a short, breathy laugh. "No, you're not."
Levi stood before her, unmoving. Unflinching. "Yes. I am."
Why wasn't he laughing? It was cruel to play this trick on her.
"Don't be ridiculous." Her words came out in a whisper, and she realised that her voice was choked with emotion. She turned quickly, making to head into the kitchen. To run away from this ludicrous conversation. Rough fingers against her bicep stopped her.
"Historia – "
"Don't," she breathed, heart thundering in her ears, but she couldn't face him. "Don't do this."
Silence fell between them as her words died. Neither moved; Levi's grip remained iron-like against her arm.
And then, he sent the truth flooding into her conscious.
"You know I have to."
Five words. Five simple words which shattered the careful barrier she'd erected to contain the unwelcome truth since she'd watched Eren walk away from her into the wild night. That sickly, suffocating reality that had lurked in the corner of the sitting room since Levi'd left her that morning, and watched her from the shadows with rabid eyes that she'd avoided as she tried to bury herself in her book, or her cooking.
You know I have to.
But it was dangerous; so dangerous for any of them to go to that place – what if they were recognised? What if they were caught? And what about her … how could she be expected to just sit quietly and patiently, waiting for their return without a fuss?
Don't stop him.
Where was the line though? Who got to decide what was right or wrong anymore? Why couldn't it be her, this time?
Wasn't she supposed to be a Queen?
Fire tore through her veins, and she balled her fists and grit her teeth. She whipped back around to face him, knocking his hand away, and glared at him with utter determination. She was his Queen, and she most certainly did have a say in this.
"No." The sound was so clear and commanding, she wondered whether it was really her voice.
Levi seemed to fumble a little, uncharacteristically. When he found his own voice again, it was brimming with annoyance. "What?"
"I said, no."
He clenched his jaw as he looked at her, and she was sure she saw a flash of anger in his grey eyes. "No?"
"You can't. I'm order –"
"Stop." He spat the word at her, and now she was sure of the anger there.
"Why?" She sucked in a steadying breath. "Why should I agree to this? You're asking me to agree to you setting foot in the most dangerous place any of us could dare to go right now. How am I meant to be okay with this?"
He stepped closer to her, emphasising the height difference between them. "I wasn't asking."
Historia matched his movement, her eyes reflecting the blaze in his as she glared up at him, now only inches separating them. "Perhaps not, but neither am I. This is suicide, Levi."
"You're being dramatic," he ground out. "This is just a recovery mission – I'll be with Commander Hange and my squad. And you know I'm bound by duty, Historia. This isn't something I can –"
"You're right, you are bound," she fired at him, unwavering in her resolve to stop him.
He growled at her dangerously, as though in warning. It didn't deter her.
"If I tell you, as your Queen, that you cannot –"
"Don't do this. Do not fucking do this." Levi's hand went to his forehead, as though he suddenly had a splitting headache.
It took Historia by surprise, knocking her off her course. She hesitated, frowning at him. "What?"
He pulled his hand away, like the admittance of any pain had annoyed him. "You know exactly what."
Don't stop him.
She gazed at him, letting his pained expression register properly, and for the first time it dawned on her that she might actually be able to influence his actions here, whether he willingly allowed that to happen or not. She could feel herself glaze over a little as Commander Hange's words about being bonded and the Ackerman-Royal connection resounded in her mind.
Did she hold that much power over him now?
Levi met her gaze head on. Was she serious? Was she actually going to try and stop him doing this? Hange had been right.
He wasn't naïve enough to not have expected some resistance from her; but he'd thought it would come in the form of begging and pleading. Not this.
It seemed he'd underestimated the young Queen yet again.
The truth was, he didn't want to admit how he truly felt about leaving her. When his mind ventured there – towards the implications of walking away from her at such a volatile time – it felt as though someone were suggesting cleaving his soul in two. There was no way he could let her know this, because it would just add fuel to her fire. And then, which was the scariest part in all of this, she might just be able to break his resolve.
That wasn't an option. He had to go.
The problem was, he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to bring himself to completely disregard a direct order from her at this point. That shitty pain in his head was making it hard enough to concentrate as it was.
"If you stop me, you're putting the lives of my squad – your friends – in danger. You're risking the reputation of your own nation, because fuck knows what Eren is planning to do out there, but it sure as hell isn't under any orders that Commander Hange has given him – not that Marley would be aware of that." He paused, unsure whether to continue. His eyes narrowed at her defiant expression. "You're being selfish, Historia. Think about what you're doing. They need me."
"They need you!? I need you, Levi! We need you!" Her voice was choked as she moved her hand to her rounded abdomen, and it was like a kick in his gut.
Fuck this.
"Don't you think I know this!?" He was in her face before he could stop himself, his hands going to her arms. "Do you think I chose this? I told you at the start – I fucking told you – a day like this would come, and you'd have to watch me walk away. I warned you. But you didn't listen, did you? I told you not to damn well get involved with me, because this is what I fucking do, okay? This is the price I get to pay for being some supposed shitty hero of the people!"
He realised his chest was heaving with emotion, and he released her arms quickly, sure he must have hurt her. He looked away, suddenly ashamed of his outburst, but not before he noticed the way her cheeks had begun to glisten with tear-tracks.
Silence fell in the room, which seemed to have darkened since the start of their conversation. Levi glanced at the window and realised there were more heavy rainclouds gathering in the sky, blocking the sun's light and casting a foreboding shadow across the landscape.
Still she didn't speak, and every second of her silence seemed to sear into his very bones agonisingly.
The urge to tell her he felt the same; that he felt sick to his stomach at the thought of leaving her like this, was so foreign and unwelcome. He hated that he'd allowed himself to be put in this position. He was a fucking idiot, alright. So he fought it; he wrestled inwardly and beat it down until it was all but silenced. It took everything he had to make his next words measured and his voice even.
"I know this is hard, and I know you want to stop me. If I'm honest, it would be painful to fight an order from you not to go." He finally let himself meet her eyes again. "I would, though." The way she was staring at him with such brokenness was nearly enough to shatter his resolve. His voice caught in his throat momentarily, but he squeezed his hands into fists and forced himself onwards. "If you have any … No. If this really is love … then please, Historia. Just let me go."
Historia wiped her face with the back of her hand and took a long, shaky breath, as though holding back a sob. But she didn't break, either. It made Levi oddly proud, for a second.
"Alright …" she murmured; her voice uneven. "Fine. I … won't order you not to go. I don't want to force you to do anything, against your will."
He felt his shoulders sag with relief.
"But …" she trailed off; and now her voice was shaky with the threat of tears again. "But I'm asking you – please –" she took a clumsy step towards him, hands outstretched. "Don't leave."
Before he knew what he was doing, Levi had her pressed to his chest, her hands balled in his shirt as her tears stained the fabric. He held her as she sobbed against him, and every pathetic little noise that came from her was worse than a knife to the ribs.
"I have to. Fuck, Historia. I have to." He murmured the words against the top of her head, indulging in the smell of her hair and the warmth of her body pressed to his while he was still able to. His palm moved in slow, awkward circles against her back as her body shook, and all at once he cursed himself inwardly for being weak enough to allow them to end up in this position.
He should have kept his distance from her. He shouldn't have kissed her in the carriage that night on the way to the Banquet. He shouldn't have whispered to her in the gardens when they were alone. He shouldn't have gone back to her room and admitted his feelings for her.
He was a giant shit, and now she was crying because of him. Again. Wasn't this the very thing he'd wanted to prevent, all those months ago?
He grit his teeth, and pulled her back roughly by her upper-arms. "Listen. Don't fucking cry over me – it's a waste of time. I'll be back, you know that, right?" He wasn't entirely comfortable with what he was saying to her – it wasn't like him to make bold statements or promises he may not be able to keep. But he wasn't really sure how else to handle the situation at present.
Historia finally met his gaze properly again; her big, blue eyes coated with moisture. "You can't know that. You don't know - "
"Shut up. Look. You said so yourself – I'm bound, alright. I'll serve you if it's the last thing I do – I won't refuse an order from you. So –" his heart seemed to trip in his chest, and it almost made his voice crack. Almost. " - order me. Tell me. Make me return."
It was hard to concentrate on what Levi was saying past the intense pain in her chest, but Historia caught the gist. She stared at him wide eyed for a moment. What … was he asking?
Then she understood. She schooled her features into a look of determination.
"Okay – I … As your Queen, I'm requesting … No, I'm ordering you – come back to Paradis with Eren and the others. Come back to me." She gripped his right wrist in pale fingers as he held her, their gazes unwavering. "Alive. Come back alive. I'm ordering you, don't die, Levi." Her voice almost gave out at die, but she pushed ahead until the words were all out.
His grip tightened on her arms slightly, and his jaw set as he stared at her. Historia's breathing quickened as she awaited some sort of acknowledgement from him.
Then he began to move – slowly, almost awkwardly, he prised her hand from his arm and lowered his right knee to the ground. The stoicism always so characteristically Levi seemed to melt away, and his features were contorted in a look of what Historia could only describe as half confusion, half irritation at what he was doing. But still he knelt before her. She frowned at his crown of raven hair as he stared at her feet. And then his gaze rose to meet hers. "I can do that. You have my word. I won't … die."
The irritation and confusion disappeared in a split second. His eyes were fierce blue fire, and in that moment Historia couldn't help but feel as though their souls were reaching out to one another. She refused to be parted from him; they were connected now by some higher order than themselves. They may be separated by miles of land, by towns and cities and even oceans and nations, but they would not be parted. They would not be divided. She was his, and he, hers. Queen and Soldier. Princess and Knight. Woman and Man. When all of this was over, they would be one whole again.
"Good," she whispered. "Don't let me down."
He rose again. A hand reached to push wayward golden strands of hair back from her eyes. She leaned into his touch, and he brushed a thumb across her cheek.
They gazed at one another in a sort of silent understanding for what Historia felt must have been an age, yet still wasn't quite long enough, before Levi finally moved.
He brought his other hand up to cup her jaw, and took one measured step towards her, so that their bodies were flush once more. Slowly, deliberately, he bent until their lips met. In that moment, it felt to Historia as though the room around them dissolved into insignificance, and with it, the circumstances they found themselves in. Levi kissed her as though his life depended on it, and she was only too glad to reciprocate. Before she knew it, her hands were fisting the front of his shirt again, as though if she just tugged hard enough, they'd meld into one another, and never have to be parted again.
But all too soon, Levi's kiss slowed, and his hands left her face to grip her own. Carefully but firmly, he prised her grip from his shirt. His gaze never left hers as he took a small step backwards. The loss of his warmth made her body ache.
"I could use a quick drink before I have to leave. Fuck knows when I'll get to enjoy some decent tea again."
Despite herself, Historia gave him a weak smile. "Alright. I'll go and see if George is making some."
"No." Levi's hand reached for her abdomen. His palm pressed lightly to the curve of it. "You go and sit down. You should be taking it easy – I've caused you enough upset today, the least I can do is bring you some shitty tea."
She wanted to protest, but she wasn't sure whether she even had the energy in her to fight him anymore. And besides, she might as well enjoy him looking out for her while she still could. Who knew when he'd be in a position to be bringing her tea again, as though they were just a normal couple expecting a child.
"Okay." Her voice cracked as he left the room.
The image of Levi's retreating back as he walked away from the Orphanage that day was burned into Historia's memory, and it haunted her incessantly during the days that followed.
Visions of his past still frequented her dreams, and despite his presence at the farmhouse never being a permanent fixture, she still found little reminders of him everywhere she went. His favourite teacup stared back at her from the cupboard every time she made tea; neglected and beginning to form the smallest layer of dust. He'd hate that, so she began using it herself. Each time she lifted it, and the smooth china met her lips, she imagined his pressed to the same spot, chapped from constant riding out in the elements. Oh, how she ached to feel him kiss her just once more; often rushed and a little rough with clumsiness after them having spent far too long apart.
He was in the bathroom, too. She realised he'd left one of his plain bars of soap beside the tub – well, it could hardly be called a bar anymore; it was just a sliver after all the hours spent scrubbing at his skin. But the smell made her gut clench as she ran it over her own pale skin, paying special attention to the curve of her stomach. She thought of his body as she slid the soap over her arms, her legs, her breasts; and she recited the scars and markings he'd told her about when they bathed together in the Capital.
He even lingered out back in the stables. Historia found herself there in the middle of the night, two weeks after he'd left – she couldn't sleep again, and needed to get out of the suffocating farmhouse that she and the Captain had worked so hard to transform into a safe and warm home for the little Orphans all those years ago. It was raining, as seemed to be the norm recently, but she didn't care that the downpour soaked her hair and made her nightclothes stick to her skin as she walked to the building filled with hay and a couple of horses. And more memories.
The lamp she carried illuminated the dusty ground as she walked; ground upon which she had both sparred with him and lay in his arms as they kissed fervently. A soft nicker from one of the stalls and the steady thrum of rain on the roof were the only sounds as she moved. She sat on one of the hay bales, and pulled from her pocket a medal on a length of string, in the fashion of a bolo tie. She frowned down at it as she looped it around her fingers, her thumb brushing over the smooth surface of it, where the Wings of Freedom where engraved.
Levi's.
She'd placed it around his neck after he'd returned from Shiganshina. As she'd placed medals around the necks of the newly appointed Commander Hange, and Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Floch … and Eren.
Nine survivors, that was all. At the time, she'd been upset; of course she had. The loss of Commander Erwin was huge, but so was the loss of both the new and experienced Survey Corps soldiers at the hands of the Beast Titan. And yet, it was only recently … since her closeness with Levi … that Historia had really understood the horror of what those soldiers had gone through. She'd witnessed Levi's depraved pain firsthand, through her vision, and, despite the almost insignificant physical weight of the medal pressed to her palm, it's symbolic weight now far surpassed anything she could previously have imagined.
That was why, when Levi had given this to her a month or two ago as they stole a moment together in his quarters, the gesture had been immense.
Despite the devastating odds, Levi had come back from that battle at Shiganshina. He'd made a promise to Commander Erwin, and he'd refused to give up while it went unfulfilled. Well, now he had made a promise to her, as well, hadn't he? Historia clutched the medal tighter. He would return to her, and she would place this medal back around his neck, as she had after Shiganshina. There could be no doubt. He was Humanity's Strongest, after all.
It was just a recovery mission, he'd said. They'd expected bloodshed at Shiganshina. This was not the same – they weren't charging into certain battle. They just had to retrieve Eren.
And yet … Eren's words at the Banquet and the night before his disappearance plagued her. They stirred a feeling of foreboding, which told her that things would not be so straightforward.
She rose off the bale, glancing towards the back doors of the barn. She'd stood there with Levi during stormy weather like this, back when the horrific vision she'd seen was still fresh in her mind, and she'd wondered whether Levi was a monster.
Now, it was Eren's intentions she feared.
Could she have prevented this outcome – stopped them all leaving for Marley – if she'd only told Levi the truth after she'd seen Eren at the Banquet? Why had she trusted him so easily?
She shook her head, turning to head back out into the rain. Her eyes were drawn to the tree where Levi and his squad had spent so many days and nights perched as lookouts, protecting her, when the news first broke of the Government's plans to use her. The wind was knocked from her lungs suddenly as she cast her light upwards. She stared at the branch where she'd seen Levi's hooded form so many times, his tumultuous eyes always watching her. Before she could really think on what she was doing, her feet were carrying her towards the tree. The saturated ground and her cumbersome shape made running difficult, but she threw herself forwards up the hill, not pausing until she was at the base of the tree. There, she slumped down against the wet earth, moisture seeping up through her nightdress as her back met the rough bark. Historia's head fell into her hands, and she sobbed.
She'd sent them all off towards danger – the people who had protected her – because she made the wrong choice.
Her tears intensified; she didn't care, her wails lost against the lonely sound of heavy rainfall. If only she'd told Levi – let him know earlier that Eren seemed to be planning something big, something that none of them would agree to – would that have stopped him? Would Levi and the others at least be better equipped for what they had headed into – whatever that was – now?
If anything happened to them … If they didn't return …
She would be to blame. She should have told him. She should have trusted him.
"Levi …" she whispered into her hands, beginning to shiver from the cold. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The bolo medal was wrapped taught around her fingers, Wings of Freedom still pressed to her palm, and she clung to it like a talisman. "Please be careful … please come home. All of you."
In that moment, huddled beneath the tree in the cascading rain, Historia wished more than anything that there was a way she could reach Levi – just to tell him what she should have already. She didn't care if he'd be angry with her … she just needed to warn him somehow.
You need to start talking, now.
It's … dangerous for them; the more they know.
Are you really going to save Paradis, Eren? Will this child be safer, if we leave you to do whatever it is you're planning?
… You love him, don't you?
Yes.
Levi shot forward out of the stiff chair. His hand went automatically for the knife in his boot, but it closed on empty air.
Shit. Of course.
He blinked, eyes adjusting to the dimly lit room he was sleeping in. In the bed to his left, the soft snoring of Jean was the only noise accompanying his heavy breathing. He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back into the chair and re-processing what he'd just dreamt.
Except it couldn't just be a dream, could it?
It was finally happening.
He was seeing Historia's memories.
And his blood was ablaze with rage.
He pushed himself up out of the chair and slipped from the room silently. He moved down a shadowed corridor, arriving outside another door. His knock was brusque and sharp.
"Hange," he hissed. "Get the fuck up."
"… Levi? It's 3am …"
"It's about Eren."
Less than thirty seconds later, the door was yanked open.
When George finally found Historia, she was soaked to the bone and her teeth were chattering.
"Historia! What are you thinking!? What have I told you about taking care of your body … you can't do stuff like this!"
He knelt beside her under the tree, uncaring how the knees of his trousers soaked up the muddy earth. His arm encircled her shoulders, a little clumsily, but she allowed him to guide her to her feet. His heart constricted at the vacant expression she wore; eyes bloodshot and puffy from obvious tears she'd been shedding for goodness knows how long before he'd found her.
Captain Levi would have him strung up.
"Hey – come on – let's get you inside."
The blade was adorned with a dull reflection of the rainy sky from the window as Levi held it up to the freckled man before him.
"What?" The word tumbled unsurely from George's mouth; his eyes wide as he stared at the knife.
"You heard me, Farm Boy. Now is not the time to act like a fucking idiot."
"But … I've never had to use a knife on another person before."
Levi schooled his features, trying to hang on to his patience as he and George stood together in the farmhouse kitchen.
"You've killed animals, right? You're a damn farmer, aren't you?"
George nodded once. "Well, yeah."
"Alright, good." Levi tossed the knife up, catching the blade between his fingers and offering the handle to George. "What's the biggest animal you've killed? Ever stuck a pig with a knife?"
George eyed the handle warily. "Do you really think I might have to use that?"
Levi rolled his eyes in irritation, waggling the knife at him. "Just answer the damn question, I don't have all day."
George reached for the knife. "Yes."
"Right – well that's lucky, because pig flesh punctures much the same as human."
George flinched at his words, but The Captain didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he made no comment. His gaze moved over George's grip on the knife, and he rubbed his chin.
"Is this the best way to hold it?" George asked him, brandishing the knife with his thumb and forefinger closest to the blade.
Levi stared for a moment longer, before shrugging. "Depends who you ask, kid."
George dropped his arm to his side for a moment, taken aback by the way the usually standoffish soldier had addressed him. He turned to stare at him. "Well … I'm asking you. I don't think there's really anyone better."
Levi just blinked at him, and George wondered whether the subtle compliment had surprised the Captain, too.
"... No. Hold it like this." He took the knife back and held it with the blade facing backwards. "You need to think of it as throwing a punch with a blade. You've fought before?"
George nodded with a small smile. "I grew up with three brothers. Fist fights are something I'm no stranger to."
"Good. Well, if you put as much power behind this blade as you would in a punch, then you're going to do some damage. If you need to kill, go for the windpipe." He slid a finger across his jugular. "If that's not doable, then aim for the gut."
George swallowed. "Right – okay. Great. Um, am I expecting to need to kill someone …?"
Levi sighed, shaking his head. "There's no immediate threat that I'm aware of. Garrison soldiers are allies, as are MPs, as far as I've currently been briefed."
George frowned. "Wait – MPs? But I thought –"
"Yeah. Me too, Farm Boy. Listen, I'm not saying trust them completely. But … apparently their Commander is aware of the situation and has vowed to protect the Queen, too. However – there are certain pockets of the sly pigs that are probably directly under Zackley's thumb. Just watch them."
George nodded. "Alright. I'll … do my best."
Levi's eyes narrowed, and he got the impression that the Captain didn't rate his 'best' very highly. "Look kid, if anything happens to her, it's you I'm going to be holding personally responsible. I don't give a shit who they are; if they make a move against her, they're the enemy. If you need to use that knife, you use it and you use it well. Otherwise you'll find yourself on the wrong end of it when I'm back. Got it?"
There he was. That was more like the asshole Captain George had become familiar with these past months. Even so, he understood and even respected the Captain's threat. Historia meant something to him too, after all, even if that feeling wasn't reciprocated.
"Sir; with all due respect – if anything happened to her, I'd gladly let you stick that knife in my windpipe, so please don't think you have to threaten me."
Levi's lip curled. "Tsk.' He turned to head back to Historia in the sitting room, pausing to pick up the tray of tea and slice of pie George had insisted he take lest she'd be exceptionally hurt.
Before he stepped through the door, Levi turned back to the Farmer once more.
"Look after my knife and my Queen, Wagner."
It came out of nowhere, and George wasn't even really sure what made him do it. But before he could stop himself, his fist had thumped the left of his chest in a military salute.
"Captain Levi."
It was probably the closest either man had come to seeing eye to eye with one another.
... I hope this one didn't disappoint. The scenes in this chapter I've had planned for an age it feels like, so it was good to finally make it here! Please let me know what you thought - I love reading each and every one of your reviews - it's so lovely to hear your feedback, and I can't express my gratitude enough that so many of you keep coming back to read. Thank you! :) SR x
