.
.
She has fallen asleep on top of him at an uncomfortable position, and with difficulty, Madara lifts his chin above Hashi's head and readjusts her weight. She exhales softly, and he feels her stir with the movement. Her breathing deepens. He feels her lips graze against the exposed skin of his collarbone.
He relishes these quiet nights. Even in her sleep, Hashi keeps touching him. An arm drapes carelessly across his chest; her fingers tracing along the line of his neck and sternum. The feel of her leg curling across his hip. There's a small smile on her lips and from the way she moves, he knows she's awake now, just resting against him with her eyes closed.
"It is a shame," Madara says softly, as he shifts Hashi against his chest, letting his lips brush against her forehead, "it is a shame there's no way we can fight each other in earnest. I would love to see how I would fare against you with my Rinnegan."
She nuzzles sleepily against his neck. "You'd probably beat me," she says.
"As much as I'd like to think I would, my stamina is nowhere near yours. I would have to best you quickly before depleting my chakra reserves."
He strokes her hair, thoughtfully. "The only way we could fight to our fullest capabilities would be if we were fighting to the death. We would have to try to kill each other in order to face each other properly."
"Mm."
"It is a shame," Madara says again, shifting her close. "I think if there were a way to battle without hurting you, I would enjoy doing so immensely."
"Mm hmm."
"You are the only one worthy enough to face me. I almost wish that we were still enemies."
She drops a soft kiss against his sternum. He settles her against his chest.
The night is quiet. She feels warm and good against him, and he starts to drift off, when she murmurs quietly, "I'm glad that we're not enemies."
His arms tighten around in her in answer.
xXx
.
When Hashi finally gets back from the Valley, it's late and Madara is already asleep. She checks on their daughter, washes, then pads softly into the bedroom where Madara's body is curled up on the futon, beneath the covers.
Hashi smiles. Unlike her, who sleeps messily and rolls around the bed, often waking up on her back with her arms and legs splayed out like a starfish (sometimes smacking Madara in the face in the process), Madara always seems to sleep in the same position, never taking up any more space than he needs. She kneels and crawls under the covers, curling up against his body and pushing his hair back so that she can press her face against his back. He feels warm and solid and absently she lets her arm drape against the side of his ribs and the muscles of his stomach. She nuzzles between his shoulderblades and presses a kiss against his spine.
She feels him shift. She knows he's slowly blinking awake by the way his body tightens and hunches into itself, before he rolls over on his back and then onto his other side, facing her. Hashi smiles widely and snuggles up like a pillbug against his chest, and Madara answers by readjusting the covers, closing his eyes again. She doesn't want to sleep though, so she kisses him and crawls on top of him. He smiles and rolls her onto her back. They have sex, and it's loving and gentle, right before going to sleep.
xXx
.
For the first time, the rumors in the village are not about her; they're about her brother.
"They say he's digging up graves," the villagers whisper, and Hashi frowns and furrows her head, before going back the Hokage compound.
He probably isn't digging up graves, that would be weird and pointless. He's probably trying to plant crops and pulling up weeds, and the villagers of course rounded it up to something more gruesome.
"I was hoping you wouldn't find out." Tobirama sighs, then shows her.
They go into the forest. He claps his hands, and all at once a stone coffin emerges from the ground. Hashi's eyes widen as the coffin door opens and the desiccated body of a dead horse slowly lurches upright.
"Edo Tensei," Tobirama says. "It's a jutsu to bring back the dead."
He takes a kunai with a tag and seal written on it, then pushes it into the back of the horse's neck. The horse whinnies, rearing its head.
Hashi's eyes widen. "Tobirama what is this?"
"It is exactly what you see, Sister. I've brought this horse back from the dead."
Hashi sucks in a breath. Tobirama pats the horse's head, then offers it an apple, which the horse takes, nuzzling its head against Tobirama's hand. The sclerae of its eyes are black; fine cracks seem to form across its grayish skin.
"Have you brought back people?" Hashi asks. Tobirama nods. "Who?!"
"I spoke with Senju Rei not a fortnite ago, as well as Senju Kiritsugu."
"They died years ago." Hashi stares at him. "Where are they now? Weren't they angry you brought them back?"
"They were confused, and not as powerful as they were when they were living." Tobirama strokes the horse's mane, thoughtfully. "They also didn't last much longer than sunrise."
Hashi's mouth tightens. "Little Brother, it's unnatural. You shouldn't be messing with the dead."
"And if I could bring back Itama and Father and Kawarama? Or any of our fallen kinsmen? I've been working on this jutsu for years, Sister, and it's finally starting to bear fruit."
Tobirama gives the horse another apple, which the horse takes happily.
"So then the rumors are true? You're going out in the middle of the night and robbing graves?"
"I don't steal them," Tobirama says. "All I do is add a seal to cast my summoning jutsu, then place its counterpart on the scroll. My hope is one day to resurrect anyone who falls in the field of battle, but these times of peace, there are no more fresh bodies, only those of the infirm and elderly. I can only imagine how well this jutsu would work on someone newly dead."
Hashi crosses her arms. "Little Brother, quite frankly, I'm a little offended at how you kept harping at Madara, when all this time you were digging up dead bodies and messing with forbidden jutsus."
xXx
.
"Back from the dead?" Madara looks up sharply.
Hashi holds her head. "He's been dabbling in forbidden jutsu for the past five years and I only just now found out."
"Has he been successful?"
"Apparently he's risen a couple dozen fallen Senju and had pleasant conversations with them."
"So then," he hesitates, "could your brother bring back Izuna?"
Hashi looks up. Madara is standing in front of the shrine, his back facing her.
"I think he needs a body," Hashi says. "Don't your people cremate them?"
Madara turns. "What if I were to give your brother Izuna's eyes?"
Hashi sucks in a breath. Madara is looking at her steadily. There isn't a flicker of emotion at all on his face.
Hashi shakes her head. "Don't be stupid, if you do that you'll be blind."
"But is it possible?"
"I don't know! I was telling you this because I thought it was stupid, I can't believe you're actually talking about blinding yourself to bring back Izuna, you don't even know if it'd work."
"I would give anything to have my little brother back," Madara says. "These eyes were his, my sensing abilities are such that it's almost like seeing, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice."
"What about our daughter?"
"What about her?"
"I thought you were going to save your eyes in case she goes blind?" Hashi puts her hands on her hips, frowning at him.
Madara looks away again. Hashi huffs, exasperated.
"Fine," Hashi says. She strides over toward him and presses a firm hand against his shoulder, turning him so that he's facing her. "If we're doing this, we're using only one eye, and I'll be the one to remove it. It's not like taking out someone else's eye, if you did it to yourself, you might damage it. At the very least, if I do it, we can transplant it back in case it doesn't work."
"You'd do that for me?" Madara says. Hashi bangs her head.
"It's stupid and a terrible idea but you're going to do it anyway, Tobirama will just be excited about getting fresh body parts, he won't help you if things go sideways, so I might as well help and make it not as terrible."
xXx
.
Tobirama, as expected, is gleeful.
"A fresh specimen!" Tobirama exclaims, and Hashi yells at him that he's being weird and creepy and what the hell, he better not mess up, Madara is her husband and she would so kick his ass if he hurts him!
Behind her, Madara watches, a bandage over the wound in his socket.
The eye bobs obscenely in the jar of thin liquid, the tendrils of frayed nerve spread out like fine hairs. Carefully, Tobirama pours out the eye and places a small seal.
The incantation doesn't work. The eye is no longer in its original form, it has the rinnegan now, it's more Madara's than Izuna's.
Madara doesn't say anything. Silently they walk back to their house.
xXx
.
"Obaasan, thank you so much for watching our baby," Hashi says, as the old woman smiles and hands their daughter back to her.
"Of course," the old woman says. "I am honored to watch the child of Senju Hashirama. And she is such a sweet child," the old woman says, tickling the baby's cheeks, and the baby giggles.
Madara's eye is still sensitive from where Hashi retransplanted it. The whites of his sclerae are injected with lacy red lines, while the eye itself is tearing up from the irritation. Hashi glances up at him, then looks back down at the baby, hitching her against her shoulder and resting the baby's weight atop her forearm.
"Are you okay?" she asks. Madara doesn't look at her.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay."
Hashi watches as he takes off his shoes, then walks silently into their bedroom.
She puts the baby down, then walks into their bedroom, where Madara is curled up, his back facing toward her, staring in the darkness at the wall.
"Do you want to be alone?" she asks, after a long moment. He doesn't answer, so she goes to the closet and pulls out an extra blanket, intending to sleep in the common area outside. She opens the door quietly when she hears Madara speak softly.
"You can stay if you want to," he says. Hashi sets the blanket down and crawls into the futon next to him.
There is a space between their bodies. Tentatively, she presses a hand to his back, before hesitantly moving against him.
He pulls her hand across his chest, and she settles against him fully, resting her cheek against his shoulderblades.
"I never got to avenge him," Madara says. He looks out into the darkness. "It was his dying wish, and I've failed him."
Hashi gives him a little squeeze. He pulls her arm closer around him.
"I thought, if I could talk to him...if I could explain my actions...maybe he would forgive me for failing him."
"What would it take to avenge him?" Hashi says. Madara takes a breath.
"To raze the village and kill your brother, I think. And to eradicate all the Senju."
Hashi is quiet. She gently fans her thumb across his chest.
He falls into a worse depression. Hashi watches as Madara stares silently for hours at Izuna's shrine, unmoving and not speaking. At night, when their daughter crawls up to him, lifting her chubby hands to his face, he doesn't look at her, just picks her up, but otherwise doesn't acknowledge her.
"Anata," she says, and she looks up at him. "Are you happy?"
He glances back at her, distracted. "What?"
She lowers her eyes, then asks again. "Are you happy?"
He doesn't look at her. "No."
"What about our daughter? She doesn't make you happy?"
The smoke curls. He doesn't look at her.
"I would give anything to have Izuna back."
She takes in a breath. He doesn't meet her eyes.
xXx
.
Weeks pass. She comes to a decision.
"Battle me," Hashi says. Madara takes a step back.
"What?"
Hashi looks up at him, determined. "You never got to avenge your brother," Hashi says. "I'm saying you should battle me."
Madara stares, then gets a hold of himself. He scoffs, scowling. "You are not the one who killed my brother."
"Yes, but if you were to battle Tobirama, you'd kill him easily. Battle me instead," Hashi says. Madara stares at her.
"What are you saying?" he asks.
"I'm saying we should battle to the death."
Madara takes a step back. Hashi smiles.
"I was ready to sacrifice my life for the dream of our village. That means nothing if I can't do the same for you."
Madara sucks in his breath. Hashi continues.
"I know if you kill me, you'll be there to raise our daughter. Tobirama is already leading our village. If I die now, I'll have no regrets."
"Woman, I cannot battle you, you're my wife, I can't-"
"We all die," Hashi says. She steps forward, placing her hands on his chest. "I love you. It hurts me to see you like this. If my death can give you a modicum of peace, then it's worth it."
Madara's jaw tightens. "It won't be a fair fight unless you try to kill me, too."
Hashi nods, quietly. "I know," she says.
xXx
.
"Going out again?" the old woman says, as Hashi hands her their daughter.
"It might be a few days, obaasan. Are you sure it's okay to watch her?" Hashi says. The old woman smiles.
"I am happy to," the old woman says. She shifts her focus to Madara, who's standing behind her. "You two deserve time alone together."
Madara's jaw tightens. Quietly, Hashi kneels down, looking at their daughter.
"May I hug her one more time?" Hashi says, and the old woman hands the baby back to her.
Hashi hugs the baby, tight. "Be good for your papa," Hashi says softly. She kisses the baby's forehead. The baby gurgles, reaching out for Hashi's hair. "I'll miss you."
Madara inhales, sharply. Hashi stands, bowing her head.
They meet at dusk at the valley of the end. She is wearing her armor, her weapons scroll strapped to her back. Silently Madara unties the knot holding his battle fan. They stand apart from each other, then take a stance.
In the distance, there is the sound like crashing thunder coming from the valley. Bright flashes of light, the blue hued haze of something flashing and receding. The village sentries look out at their posts, wondering.
She's left a letter for Tobirama at the Hokage compound.
xXx
.
Everything is quiet. In the darkness, there is nothing but the glint of a sword reflecting from the dull moonlight above them. Madara is on his knees, the edge of his blade against Hashi's neck. His chakra is depleted and his eyes are once again black. They're both exhausted and breathing heavily.
"You won," Hashi says, and Madara's face crumbles. Rain starts to fall as he tosses aside his sword.
xXx
.
"Back already?" the old woman says, and Hashi stretches out her arms to take her daughter.
Madara watches. He stands in the shadows as Hashi brings the child close to her chest, hugging her and kissing her forehead. "My sweet girl," Hashi says. She has never looked as vulnerable as this. Hair falling over her face, her small hands gently stroking their child. His child, Madara thinks, and his chest tightens with the realization.
Hashi once told him how hard it was, growing up without a mother. And selfishly, he almost took her away from his daughter. He watches, heart in his throat, as his wife holds their baby in her arms, tenderly rocking her before setting her in the crib. Her head is bowed and a lock of long hair falls in front of her, before tucking it back behind her ear.
This is his wife. This is his daughter. These are the two people he's supposed to protect. He's never felt more ashamed.
He follows her silently into the bedroom. Wordlessly she changes into the thin yukata she wears when she's sleeping, and he can see the thousand small cuts and shallow scratches marring the skin of her body.
"It's okay," she says. Her back is still to him. She pulls the robe over her shoulder. "Don't feel guilty. I asked you to."
Madara takes in a breath. The woman always seems to know what he's thinking. He wants to apologize but he can't find the words.
"Hashirama-"
She hunches over, and he realizes she is crying. He sees her raise a shaky hand to her eyes. "I'm sorry," she sobs, and he rushes over to her, pulling her against his chest. She sobs brokenly and he holds her, hating himself for hurting her.
"I know you love me." She sniffs and clutches the sleeve around his bicep. "I know you do, it's just..." she takes in a shuddery breath. "You've never once told me you do."
"What? Of course I have, what are you-"
"I asked you if you loved me once, and you said yes. And that was it," Hashi says, and Madara realizes it's true.
"I'm sorry," Hashi says again. "I don't mean to put you on the spot, you show me you love me in other ways, I don't need to hear it-"
"I love you," he says. He presses a firm hand against the back of her head. "I'm an idiot. I'm sorry for never telling you."
She sobs harder, burying her head against his chest.
They go to bed. They hold each other for a long time, Madara shifting every so often to kiss her eyes or forehead. She burrows against him, and he feels guilty at how he only feels whole the instant she wraps her arms around him.
For the first time in their marriage, she leaves before he wakes. He sits up at the center of the futon, looking out at the soft yellow glow of morning sunlight. Her side of the bed is empty and cold.
xXx
.
Tobirama walks quickly toward the Uchiha quarter, where Madara sometimes lurks when he's not skulking around his sister.
"There you are," Tobirama says, seeing Madara standing in the shadows like some sort of ghoul. "I've been going over the formulas for the reanimation jutsu, and I've made some adjustments, I think it's still possible to resurrect your brother-
"What," Tobirama rears back, looking at him. "You look terrible. You look worse than you usually do." His gaze shifts. "What the hell is that?" Tobirama says, when he sees Madara is standing with a heavy pack, his battle fan resting next to it. "Where the hell are you going? I don't remember authorizing any missions."
Madara narrows his eyes at him. "It is just my luck I'd run into you," Madara says. He hitches the pack over his shoulder. "I might as well tell you: I'm leaving your sister."
"What?"
He looks out across the village. "Be assured, I have no desire to raze this place. Not so long as it's home to my daughter."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Tobirama says. Madara looks down at him, arrogantly.
"I no longer wish to take part in this failed experiment you call a village," Madara says. A shadow falls over his eyes. "Your sister is troublesome and I have no use for her."
Tobirama grabs Madara by the collar, slamming him against the wall.
"Do you plan to stop me?" Madara says. He smiles, slowly. "I am stronger than you. It would not be much for me to kill you where you stand."
"If you want to leave my sister, fine. I hate that she married you in the first place." Tobirama lets go of him. His eyes narrow. "What happened?"
"It is none of your concern."
"She is my sister. It is my concern."
The muscles of Madara's neck are tight. Battle ready. His hands are clenched into fists. He sees Madara's jaw tighten, his hair falling over his face, covering his eyes.
"We battled. I ran out of chakra, and she gave up. She let me put my blade to her neck and waited for me to kill her."
Tobirama sucks in his breath. Madara doesn't look at him.
"She still had plenty of chakra, she could have done any jutsu she wanted to. She could have thrown me off or taken my sword, or..." he closes his eyes. "She was going to let me kill her."
"Then what happened?"
"She looked up at me, and said I won."
Tobirama rubs his head.
He starts to walk away. Madara stares at him. "Where are you going?" Madara says.
"I'm going to get a drink, because my sister is an idiot and so is my fucking brother-in-law."
xXx
.
When he comes home, he sees Hashi sitting at the table, feeding their baby.
"Anata, guess what?" Hashi says. She's smiling at the baby. "She likes inari, just like you do." The baby is holding two fistfuls of fried tofu and rice. The baby holds it up to Hashi. "Oh? You wanna feed mommy?" The baby pushes her little hand in Hashi's face. Hashi beams widely at her. "Okay, okay, feed mommy. Ahhh," she says, and she opens her mouth. The baby pushes a grubby ball of rice into Hashi's mouth, which Hashi chews with exaggerated excitement. "Yummy! So good, baby! Thank you."
Madara lingers at the doorway. "Where were you this morning?" he asks. Hashi keeps looking at the baby.
"I couldn't sleep." She wipes the baby's face. "I took the baby for a walk." She glances behind her shoulder, and both their eyes fall on the traveling pack and battle fan sitting on the floor.
"I changed my mind," Madara says, before Hashi can say anything. She smiles at him, hesitantly.
He sits. He looks at the plate of inari, they're his favorite food, he wonders if Hashi made them for him. "How are your wounds?" he asks instead. Hashi keeps her eyes trained on the baby.
"Oh, they've already healed."
"The bruise on your side, is it better?"
"Pretty much," Hashi says. She smiles at him. Madara looks at her, helplessly.
"I'm sorry about last night," he says. He lowers his eyes. "About everything."
Hashi pats his arm. "It's okay," she says. She pushes the plate toward him. "Here. I made these for you."
"Thank you. These are my favorite."
"I know."
He picks up the little tofu pocket, then starts to cry.
"Anata?" Hashi rushes over and hugs him. The baby watches them curiously, her cheeks filled with rice.
He pulls away and Hashi smiles up at him, wiping his cheeks. "Don't do that, you'll make me cry too," Hashi says. She presses her forehead against his.
"You were going to let me kill you," he says.
"You didn't, though."
"You still had chakra, you could have dealt a killing blow."
"You're my husband, I didn't want to."
Madara takes a shaky breath. "Even with the power of the Sage of the Six Paths," Madara says. "You still bested me. You're the most powerful shinobi alive."
"You're still going on about that?" Hashi fondly strokes back his hair.
The baby whines, her chubby hands flapping toward the plate. They both turn to look at her.
"I think she wants more rice," Hashi says, and she moves to feed her.
