Mermista's handmaiden opened the door for her and bowed as the princess entered the office. Mermista walked straight in and sat herself down on a chair next to the couch. Double Trouble was already sat in their usual chair.
"Sit down," Mermista ordered the handmaiden, patting the seat of the couch.
"Um, excuse me, dearie?" Mrs. Suspicious Arson asked, "I must be getting a little deaf in my old age."
The handmaiden looked to Mermista and then Double Trouble and back, only to be met with serious stares.
"Sit..." Mermista growled, pointing at the couch, "Down..."
Mrs. Suspicious Arson nervously shuffled over to the couch and sat down on the couch.
"Is everything alright, dearie?" the handmaiden asked.
"Well, first off..." Mermista began, "We know you're Seahawke in a wig and dress."
"Oh, thank heavens!" Mrs. Arson cried out in relief, his voice dropping several octaves and losing it's fancy accent as he took off his wig and stood up to pose flamboyantly on the couch, "Yes! It is I, your beloved Seahawke, protecting you in secret. Seriously though, you have no idea how uncomfortable this dress got. I can see why your last girl quit. I had been leaving hints for you for weeks. I was worried I was so good at diguising myself you would never figure it out."
"So... why didn't you just tell me?" asked Mermista.
"I mean... I could haaave?" Seahawke answered, "But that's only because I wanted to make my eventual reveal to you all the more dramatic."
"Well, I can certainly respect that," Double Trouble commented.
"I don't," Mermista said, "You could have done this whole dramatic reveal thing anytime. Why did you put me through this for so long?"
"Maybe I was waiting for some acknowledgement of all the hard work I do for you..." pouted Seahawke, crossing his arms and legs and turning away, "Did you know you never once thanked me for making you breakfast, or cleaning your castle, or doing your laundry?"
"That was your job!" Mermista shouted, "I was literally paying you to do all those things for me!"
"Well, maybe I didn't take the job for the money," Seahawke sniffled, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe away a tear, "Maybe I just wanted to find out what you really thought of our relationship. Because, lately, it seems like I'm the only one trying to make things work between us."
"Uggh," Mermista groaned, folding her arms and rolling her eyes, "What do you want from me? You're the one who left to join the resistance."
"I left because I knew how unhappy this occupation business was making you," Seahawke explained, "And I came back because I was worried about how you were doing all by yourself, without my cheerful melodies to brighten your spirit."
"Oh, please don't remind me about your singing," Mermista sighed, rubbing her temples, "I swear your songs have gotten even more annoying since you started doing this whole bit."
"Oh come now," Seahawke scoffed, "Don't tell me I didn't see you smile during my heartful rendition of 'A shellful of oysters helps the seaweed go down' this morning?"
"I was picturing how good my life would be if I finally went deaf," Mermista snarked.
"My heavens, no!" Seahawke gasped, "How could you say such a horrible thing? Why, if my family could see us right now..."
"You don't have a family, Seahawke," Mermista corrected, "You're an orphan."
"Yes, found and raised by the Brotherhood of Perpetual Refrain," said Seahawke, "And they would be very ashamed in you right now. The joy of music is one of their most treasured virtues."
"I'm sorry, you were raised by monks?" Double Trouble interjected, "Why do I find that hard to believe?"
"Oh my, yes," Seahawke said, excitedly pulling out a photograph, "I spent a very loving childhood in that jolly little monastery by the sea."
Seahawke got up to give the photograph to Double Trouble and went behind their chair to look over their shoulder at the smiling faces in the picture.
"See, there's me," said Seahawke, pointing at a young brown haired, blue eyed child in brown robes.
"Brother Archibald the Wise," he pointed at a tall, slender Salinean man in brown robes wearing glasses.
"Brother Agatha the Adorable," he pointed at a small, pink Elberanian in brown robes fluttering in the top corner of the picture.
"Brother Eldwin the Bashful," he pointed at the face of a monk with grey fur and horns peeking out from behind another monk.
"Brother David the Naughty but not that Naughty because he's a monk," he pointed at the large bear-like creature looming behind them with brown hair and a big bushy beard.
"And there's my mentor, Brother Alfred the Bizarre," he pointed at a man in the center with a thin mustache and glasses wearing a tropical shirt and playing an accordion.
"Why is his hair so long and frizzy?" Mermista commented, having snuck up behind Double Trouble's other shoulder, "I thought monks were all supposed to have that stupid bowl cut with the bald spot."
"That's what made him bizarre!" explained Seahawke, "Truly the best adoptive family a young boy like me could ask for. But when I looked out to the ocean and heard the call to adventure, I knew my destiny lay elsewhere. So, as soon as I was old enough, I left to become a sailor and spread the joy I found here to all corners of Etheria!"
"That's a good idea," Mermista said sarcastically, returning to her chair, "Why don't you go do that? Right now."
"You see?" Seahawke exclaimed to Double Trouble, gesturing towards Mermista, "This is what I mean. I offer my heart and soul to her and all she can do is make jokes at my expense and tear me down with her cynicism."
"Yes, I wonder if we might want to try a variation on my usual roleplay therapy," Double Trouble suggested, "Mermista, Seahawke, I want the two of you to pretend to be the other person and try to understand the other persons point of view."
"Oh, a capital idea!" shouted Seahawke, reaching behind the couch to pick up the wig he dropped on the floor and put it back on his head, "Ahem... Yes, I am the beautiful Mermista, Princess of Salineas. My whole deal is I try not look like I care about anything, because caring about things is just... super lame and being coldly detached about everything is absolutely the coolest."
Mermista gave Seahawke an exhausted dreary look before turning over to Double Trouble.
"Yeah," Mermista said, "I'm not going to be a part of this."
"And that's okay," Double Trouble reassured, "How about I take over for you and you can just jump in whenever you feel you're ready?"
"Sure," Mermista acknowledged, "Whatever..."
Double Trouble got up from their chair and transformed into the dashing pirate captain, adjusting their proud moustache.
"My dearest," the other Seahawke began, "Why must you choose to hide your feelings from everyone around you?"
"What feelings?" the real Seahawke responded, "That's something only losers like you have. I certainly don't have any of those, even though I took you aside to tell you how excited I was to see Adora turn into She-Ra for the first time and how I asked you to invite her out to dinner with us because I didn't want to look too desperate in front of her."
"Now, wait a minute!" Mermista interrupted.
"Oh, Mermista!" the fake Seahawke said, "Did you want to take over?"
"No," answered Mermista, "but that's not how that went-"
"Tut-tut!" the fake Seahawke hushed, putting a finger to Mermita's lips, "You just sit down and keep quiet until you're ready to participate, okay? Until then, if you watch and listen, you might learn something important. Now then, 'Mermista', let's continue."
"Ahem, yes, umm," the real Seahawke stammered, clearing his throat, "And then there was the time I showed you those pictures I drew of my magical princess alter ego Sea-Ra and asked you if you thought Adora would like them?"
"Oh, that's all you care about, isn't it?" the fake Seahawke observed, "What other people think of you. Well, maybe people would like you more if you let them see the real you. If you weren't so afraid to let your friends know what you liked, maybe you would find out that they liked the same things. Or that they liked something different that you might like too."
"And what if it's just something else for them to make fun of?" the real Seahawke grumbled, "Like that washed up old sea dog who used to hang around me. He was never shy about telling everyone how he felt. It was always so embarrassing to be seen with him. I'm glad he's gone. I'm better off without him. A princess like me deserves better than a common pirate."
"If that was true, why did you keep me around?" the fake Seahawke said, "You could have simply not hired me or fired me at any point. By jove, you're a princess, you can have me thrown away into a dungeon for the rest of my days or make me walk the plank down to davy jones' locker. Why do you go along with all my zany schemes for so long even though you're so embarrassed the entire time?"
"I mean, I'm just a bored princess," argued the real Seahawke, "You're just the Court Jester to I parade out for my entertainment, because no matter how badly I treat you and ignore you, you'll always come crawling back to me."
"Hold up a second!" Mermista interrupted again, "How did I become the bad guy in all this?"
"Hmm," sighed the fake Seahawke, "Mermista, you know I'm not supposed to take sides. But if you don't participate in the process, the only side we're going to see is Seahawke's. So how about you come up and take my place and we can get your interpretation into the mix."
"Uggh," Mermista groaned, standing up from the chair, "Fine. But I'm not dressing up."
"Of course," Seahawke said as they turned back into Double Trouble and sat back down.
Mermista stared silently at the pouting man in drag lying in the couch in front of her before turning back to Double Trouble.
"I don't know what Seahawke would say," she said stoicly.
"How about you say something you want Seahawke to say to you?" Double Trouble suggested.
"Okay then," Mermista said, each sentence out of her mouth getting louder and angrier, "I'm sorry I lied to you, Mermista. I'm sorry I thought I couldn't just tell you what was going on. I'm sorry I put you through all this stupid, roundabout, passive-aggressive nonsense instead of just talking to you. Because maybe you didn't deserve the way I treated you!"
Seahawke let out a loud gulp as his pouting turned to shame.
"I... think you're right..." Seahawke admitted, "I didn't deserve the way you treated me. You should have told me what was going on from the beginning. Maybe I'm not the only one in Etheria who has trouble communicating exactly what I feel. But now that this is all out in the open, maybe we can still find a way to work things out?"
"I... hope we can still do that too..." Mermista replied, her demeanor softening slightly.
"And maybe I'll be okay with letting people call you my boyfriend?" Seahawke asked hopefully as he got up excitedly off the couch.
"But because I'm such a good boyfriend, I'm not going to push my luck," Mermista argued, her demeanor quickly hardening again.
"I'll take it!" Seahawke said, pointing his finger at the ceiling triumphantly, "Is this the part where we kiss and make up?"
"Yeah, sure," Mermista said, grabbing Seahawke by the waist and pulling him into a dip.
"My heavens!" Seahawke gasped before closing his eyes as Mermista kissed him.
"So, are we doing here?" Mermista asked Double Trouble after unceremoniously letting Seahawke fall to the ground.
"That depends," Double Trouble noted, "Did you both learn something about each other today?"
"Well, I for one, found this whole experience most illuminating!" Seahawke exclaimed, "I've felt something awaken inside of me. A calling that was always there, but I just never noticed it until now."
"Oh, great," Mermista said, "You want me to hire a wizard to give you a sex change spell."
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no," Seahawke answered, "That won't be necessary. No, what I want to become... is an actor!"
"Oh, Seahawke, that's such great news," Double Trouble encouraged, "You certainly have the charisma, if a little... raw, for the stage. But fortunately for you I can give you a few lessons on how to hone your craft. My time is not cheap however."
Seahawke made a small high pitched hum as he look upon Mermista with the widest eyes he could muster.
"Uggh..." Mermista groaned, "How much?"
"500 gold ducats an hour," said Double Trouble.
"Alright, but on one condition," Mermista told Seahawke, "No one, and I mean no one, hears about what happened here today. Got it?"
"You have my eternal silence and gratitude," saluted Seahawke.
"Excellent, I'll have to move around my schedule to see when I can fit you in," Double Trouble said, pushing the two out the door, "I let you know what I can work out, Goodnight!"
Mermista and Seahawke barely reacted with minor confusion as their therapist forced them out of the office and closed the door behind them.
"I still need to find something to wear for tomorrow night..." Double Trouble told themself.
~*~
DT's Notes
Mermista, Session 5
-Intervention with Seahawke today, aka Mrs. Suspicious Arson.
-Going to let Mermista take the lead on this one.
-Well, that was fast
-Looks like this has morphed into a couple's therapy session
-Got to hear more about Seahawke's family history
-Tried role reversal therapy between Mermista and Seahawke, Seahawke was enthusiatic, Mermista is resistant
-A firm touch was needed to get Mermista onboard
-Kinda regret letting Mermista take over before the make up kiss
