A/N: Hey guys! So firstly, once again, massive, massive thank you to everyone who's still reading! Whether you leave a review or not (although I do love reading them so much!) you are 100% appreciated!
This chapter was supposed to be longer, but the second part is not something I want to rush, and since I'm also writing original stuff for Camp NaNoWriMo in April, AND I need to update other works on here, I thought I best post this so you're not waiting another AGE for an update.
I hope with all the craziness going on right now, that you're all keeping safe and well! Sending you all massive virtual hugs at a time when we're probably all experiencing a shortage of physical ones. Happy reading! x
ARC 4: REVELATION
'The act of making something known that was a secret, or a fact that is made known.'
CHAPTER 38: Betrayal
Hange reached to fasten her eye-patch in place, before running a hand over her face.
"What do you mean, it's about Eren?"
Levi merely growled, before pushing past her into the little hotel room. "You know it's bullshit that I have to bunk with Jean while you get a room to yourself?"
"You're more than welcome to share with me, if you like?"
Levi tsk'd. "You're absolutely missing my point, Shit Goggles." He leaned against the windowsill, folding his arms as he faced the Commander.
She looked particularly wild with her hair loose and in disarray, clad in her crinkled pyjamas. "Levi – Eren; what about him?
Levi's jaw ticked. "It's happening again, Hange – I'm seeing Historia's memories now. Recent ones. Eren spoke to her … he's been planning this for months, and he couldn't tell us sooner because it would have been dangerous for us to know, apparently. What bullshit."
" … Months? But – in his letter –"
"Yeah. I know what he said. Seems we're being played for fools." He could feel his fists beginning to ball up as he stood with them tucked beneath his biceps.
Hange took several steps back, before slumping down onto the edge of the bed. "Uh … okay, this is a lot. So – wait – you are seeing Historia's memories now, too?"
Levi narrowed his eyes, before simply nodding once.
"Okay. Interesting. But we'll come to that later – for now … what did he say to Historia exactly? How long has she known about this?"
Her second question stirred an intense irritation in him. "They were in a toilet stall. Looked like The Grand Hall in Trost. I don't know. It was patchy at best."
Hange frowned at him, although her gaze seemed to look right through him. "The Banquet …?'
Levi scowled. "Yeah. Looks like it."
"That doesn't seem right; why didn't she tell us? Or at least, you'd think she'd talk to you. Didn't she say anything?"
Her voicing the exact question that had been forming inside him since he awoke was like a sudden punch to the gut.
"Fuck – no, Hange! Don't you think I'd have told you?"
Her shrug only fuelled his irritated discomfort.
"She didn't fucking tell me, and if she had, you would have been the first to know of this shitty conversation they had."
Hange nodded. "Alright. So. He didn't say exactly what he was planning? He didn't go into detail with her?"
"No. But it was obvious the contents in his letter was what he was alluding to, and it seems like someone was helping him. Fucking Floch did have something to do with it, too. Eren told her he couldn't tell anyone exactly what he was planning at that moment, because it would be dangerous for people – especially me. I think what he meant was, it would be dangerous to his fucking plans, because like hell I'd agree to come out here if I'd known this was his intention all along!"
Hange rubbed her forehead. "Yeah … none of us would. Well, the correspondence we sent to Historia is probably going to give her some mixed feelings in light of this. Sounds like she could have given us a head's up on Eren's intentions to go out on his own like this."
Levi tried not to think on the words in the letter that had been sent to Historia. It made his chest burn.
Hange continued. "But … really, what could we have done to stop him? Without knowing his exact intentions, we probably would have just ended up in this situation anyway." She heaved a deep sigh. "Levi … there must be a reason this has to happen, right? Surely? Maybe it won't cost as many lives as we think …"
Levi finally uncrossed his arms, but he held them firmly by his sides. He made no move towards his Commander, despite the way her shoulders sagged and her mouth turned down at the corners with a grimness he felt inwardly too.
She would try to hide it from the others; the devastation she clearly felt at agreeing to the plan Eren had set out in his letter to them – a surprise attack at the festival in Liberio which no doubt would inadvertently kill so many innocent civilians. Someone needed to appear in control of the situation, after all, and it should probably be their Commander. But with him, it was different. Levi knew he was the one outlet she had left for her true emotions, while everyone else looked toward her to be a pillar of strength.
If he were to reach out, though, and place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, she might just break completely, and that wasn't what she needed to do right now. So he simply stood, his eyes fixed on her with a steady patience he reserved only for times like this.
Levi had never much cared for unnecessary human contact, anyway.
Until Historia. She had been the only one to change that in him. The thought made him straighten, cursing the inner turmoil he felt at the revelation of her betrayal.
"Hange …"
One hazel eye glanced up to meet his.
"This is fucked up. But we don't have a choice – right? There's no other way right now. We can't lose the Founder. So no matter how much his plan stinks of shit, we can't just leave the bastard to the wolves. He knows this – and believe me, I plan on connecting my boot with his face the first chance I get for fucking us over like this – but we have to play along for now … that's what you said, right?"
Hange sighed, but her shoulders straightened. "That's right, Levi. I'll have him detained for insubordination on our return. But for now … we plough onwards."
The arrival of the letter should have felt like a breath of crystal clear air through the otherwise stale, stuffy and suffocating atmosphere strangling Historia's soul in the farmhouse. But the news she received from across the ocean offered no form of relief, only more uncertainty.
George had kept an extra keen watch over her since the night he found her shivering beneath the tree, and, despite the way his overprotective treatment of her was rapidly evolving to the point she felt almost like a prisoner, Historia didn't challenge him or push him away. It wasn't that she didn't have the gall to do it – she was a Queen, after all, and more than that even: she wasn't about to start bending to another's will now, not after all this time and effort trying to live for herself.
But having the heart to do it was another matter.
George's overprotectiveness may be stifling, but without him, she'd be completely alone. And that was a thought she couldn't bear in her current state, so she resigned herself to listless days spent wandering around the farmhouse, not really doing much of anything at all except awaiting the return of Levi and the others, while her belly grew more round and her body began to ache with the effort of sustaining two lives.
It often made her mind wander to her own mother. Is this what she used to do, waiting for Historia's father? Or had Rod Reiss ceased all contact with her as soon as he discovered her pregnancy? The idea made Historia feel a little sorry for her mother, for the first time in her life. This was no way to live.
And yet, she knew that Levi had tried to tell her this from the very start – don't love me, don't care for me, don't need me – because I will have to walk away from you repeatedly. But how could she have stopped herself feeling this way about him? It had never been a conscious choice. She'd never intended for this to happen, either. Somehow, at some point, she had just stopped seeing him as the stoic, closed off man many years her senior. Somehow, at some point, he became more than merely the Captain with eyes like cold steel. Somehow, at some point, those eyes had begun to look at her in a way that stirred something more enthralling than respect, and more dangerous than fear within her.
Somehow, at some point, she'd fallen in love with the man beneath the Wings of Freedom emblazoned at his back.
Her fingers traced over the spidered scrawl on the front of the envelope. Commander Hange's. The realisation made her choke.
Why was it not in Levi's hand?
"Historia?"
George came up beside her in the sitting room, setting down the glass of water he'd gone to grab her after making her sit down, despite her protests. She'd felt lightheaded when she found an MP at the door, sent on orders from Nile Dok to deliver a letter from the Survey Corps party deployed to Marley, and apparently this had translated to the colour draining from her face.
"It's Commander Hange's writing …"
She heard George inhale somewhere beside her. "You said Captain Levi hates writing letters."
She reached for the glass of water, sipping slowly in an effort not to vomit. It was replaced on the side table measuredly, before her fingers returned the envelope on her lap. "He does. It's never stopped him writing to me before, though."
George shuffled, and she noticed him thrust his hands into his pockets from the corner of her eye. "He's probably very busy. Please just open it, Historia."
Taking one deep breath in, Historia's thumb sliced through the seal. She hated the way her fingers trembled as she slid the folded paper out, but the fear of what she might find within gripped her too insistently.
The letter was spread flat on her lap. The script was also Commander Hange's.
HM Queen Historia,
I hope you're keeping well and all is good with the pregnancy.
It is with a heavy heart that I am sending correspondence back to Paradis, for the attention of both yourself and Premier Zackley, to advise of the situation we have been placed in due to the actions of Eren Jaeger.
Historia's heart lurched.
She paused her reading for a moment, gaze lifting to the wooden beams of the sitting room ceiling as she fought to calm her nerves and swallow down the nausea.
Please.
Please let Levi be okay. Please let all of them be okay.
Eren was initially located. Following discussions with Kiyomi Azumabito, we made the decision to explore the possibility of peace talks further. However, when it appeared that this may be even more difficult than we first anticipated, Eren defected from our cause. As such, this mission has now escalated from merely retrieval and reconnaissance.
Historia re-read the last lines again.
Eren defected from our cause. As such, this mission has now escalated from merely retrieval and reconnaissance.
She covered her mouth with her hand, eyes squeezed shut.
"What is it?" George murmured, reaching for her shoulder.
Historia pulled her hand away. "Eren …"
She didn't elaborate. Her eyes felt damp when they reopened, and she looked back to Hange's spiked script.
Eren has formulated a plan with Zeke Jaeger which involves a surprise attack during an event scheduled to take place in the internment camps of Liberio. He believes there is to be a declaration of war on Paradis. He wishes to sabotage this, as a display of the power Paradis possesses due to its Titans. He has been in contact with the Survey Corps to request assistance.
Please be assured, I, as Commander of the Survey Corps, do NOT condone this use of force against the people of Liberio - my strategy has always been one of negotiation and non-aggression. However, at present, I am left with little choice but to request the permission of the Premier to engage in a combative rescue mission to remove the Founder from the fray during the attack. I have also had to request back up forces be sent to execute such a mission with as few casualties as possible - I imagine, if my request has been agreed by the Premier, these forces are likely being mobilised as you read this.
Please also be aware, Historia, that it is Eren's intentions that his brother Zeke Jaeger be brought back to the island with us. Both will, of course, be detained upon arrival.
I'm very sorry that I've had to be the bearer of this news, Your Majesty, but Captain Levi and I felt it right that the Queen should be informed of this development personally and not via the Government and Senior Military.
Yours,
Commander Hange Zoe
Historia continued to stare at the page for several moments after she'd finished reading. She tried to process all of the information. Was this what Eren had warned her about? That he was going to betray them all and go against the Commander's orders?
Her fists balled up, making the edge of the pages crumple.
If only she'd told them he was planning something none of them were going to like … If only she'd warned them. Levi had been right at the start; she really was just a naive girl. She must be, to put all her faith in Eren.
Levi.
She wondered what he must be making of Eren's actions right now. No doubt he'd be deeply hurt, after so long spent practically mentoring him. It pained her there was no further information from him, or even concerning him, in the letter. Just that one small mention in the last line.
And now he, along with Commander Hange, his squad, and the rest of the reinforcements summoned, would be headed straight into the enemy's sights. Straight into mortal danger. All because of Eren.
All because she had put too much faith in him.
She inhaled deeply through her nose, willing herself not to crumble. It was too late for that now - what could she do? Nothing would change the facts at this point. She'd missed her chance to make any sort of difference in this situation.
Still, the lack of contact from Levi stung, despite her knowing inwardly that it would be risky for him to put anything to her in writing in case it were to fall into the wrong hands. Even if the Garrison and MPs were now on their side, too.
"Are you okay?"
George's voice made her jump. She'd forgotten he was still standing beside her.
"Uh … yeah …" She rubbed her forehead. "Eren is going to stage a surprise attack on Marley." Saying the words aloud was a lot more difficult than she'd expected. They made her throat hurt and her heart pound.
"Yes … I read over your shoulder. Er, sorry." When she didn't reply straight away, he added, "Nothing from the Captain?"
Historia shook her head, before pushing herself up out of the armchair. Her palms were clammy. "I have to get some fresh air."
She discarded the pages beside the envelope on the side table, before heading past George towards the doorway.
Her foot had just crossed the threshold when his voice halted her.
"Historia - wait."
She turned. He was stood with the Commander's letter in his hands. And the envelope.
His fingers were fiddling with the top flap.
She frowned at him.
"There's something in here."
She didn't want to hope, because she couldn't cope with the disappointment on top of the revelations about Eren's actions and what was to occur. But the idea of words from Levi before he headed into this dangerous conflict a whole ocean away was enough to make her feet carry her swiftly back to George's side.
She all but yanked the envelope from his grip, and ran her index finger along the lip of the flap. Her gaze rose to meet his. He was right; there was something hidden inside of it.
Her slipper clad feet thudded against the floorboards as she dashed into the kitchen, snatching up a knife and taking it to the envelope. From the secret little pocket, a square of paper folded several times over slipped out and fluttered to the floor. She bent to her knees, picking it up, before settling in place, her back pressed up against a kitchen cupboard. The paper was unfolded in clumsy fingers - Historia realised she was shaking - and when the black ink on the paper caught her eye, she cried out in relief.
It was Levi's basic, functional handwriting. And it had never been a more welcome sight.
Historia,
Do you realise I've written more damn letters to you at this point than I've completed paperwork since becoming Captain? I hope you're pleased with yourself. I fucking hate writing.
Liberio is an odd place. I'd say it's even more crowded than Mitras, and there are these odd metal carriages everywhere that don't need horses to power them. Hange tried to feed a carrot to one at one point - I shit you not.
Almost found you a new recruit for the Orphanage the other day, too. Kid tried to steal Sasha's snack money, and the locals were ready to string him up. I stepped in and got the little shit out of any trouble. I'm not saying he didn't deserve a good kicking, but the way they looked at him … they knew he wasn't Marleyan, and they were like pack animals going in for the kill. Kind of reminded me of those rich pigs in Mitras, and the way they always looked at people from the underground …
Anyway, soon as we were out of the woods, the brat then went on to swipe my money too. Serves me right for being such a soft shit, really. I blame you for that, too.
I hope you're feeling alright and everything is going okay back home. Fuck - sorry I'm not there with you. Farm Boy better be stepping up.
Well, I assume you'll have read Hange's letter before reading this, so I'm not going to cover old ground. Just know that 1. When I get my hands on him, I'm going to kick Eren so fucking hard for letting us both down, and 2. When we get back - because we will get back - Zeke fucking Jaeger will not come near you. I will personally see to that. I'm not sure that we can trust this secret plan they have been promising, but whatever happens, I'll protect you.
I'm sorry you're getting this shitty letter instead of me, but don't worry - I haven't forgotten, Historia. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. Going back on my word doesn't sit well with me, like I told you before. Besides, I'm sure I have little choice in the matter, Your Majesty.
Just please, keep yourself safe for me. Funny. never really had much to come back home to after a mission. Feels fucking dreadful and brilliant all at once. Guess I could get used to it.
See you on the other side, Kid.
L.
P.S. Has the brat kicked yet?
It was only when Historia finished reading, that she noticed the splotches dotted on the paper, smudging the ink. She lifted a finger to her cheek, and found it was wet. But she knew these weren't tears of sorrow.
No. These were tears of faith.
Faith in her friends.
Faith in her Commander.
Faith in her Captain.
Because Levi and the others would return - they had to - and she would make peace with the mistake she had made in trusting Eren by standing beside them all as Queen of Paradis. Whatever was around the corner for their nation, they would face it together.
They had to come back so that they could face the impending storm together.
Historia couldn't bare to consider what part she would have played in their absence if they didn't.
Levi paced up and down the line formed by his squad members. Their faces were set; determined; just like his. Even Connie and Sasha wore expressions that made it apparent they understood the gravity of the mission they were faced with.
"Alright," Levi rumbled finally, pausing to adjust the shoulder strap on Connie's ODM. Tch, the kid was a brilliant soldier in action, but damn, if he didn't learn to triple check his equipment already, Levi was going to kick his ass. He gave him a severe look, before continuing. "Forget all of the missions we've tackled before – forget fucking titans, and Kenny The Ripper, and Shiganshina. Forget it all, because this shit is another level. Tonight, you are going up against an enemy that is far more advanced in terms of weaponry and defenses, in far greater number, and on their own soil."
He didn't miss the sombre look which passed between Jean and Armin at his comments. They knew – all of them – that this really was a suicide mission. If they managed to pull this fucker off, Erwin would be turning in his grave with pride. Or would it be disgust, at what they were about to do? The thought made him grit his teeth; Historia's words to him echoed in accusatory fashion through his conscious.
This is suicide, Levi.
You're being dramatic. It's just a recovery mission.
Apparently, they'd been duped from the start. Eren's letter may have stated that he hadn't fully decided on the course of action he was going to take until after they'd all arrived in Marley, but Levi couldn't help thinking this was a fat fucking lie. Those conversations with Historia …
Eren knew exactly what danger he was putting everyone in. That's why the Titan Shifter'd had to see Historia before leaving; he was going to be in dire need of her forgiveness after this. He wanted to make a last attempt at reaching out before he threw them all into grave danger with this ridiculous plan.
Still … what choice did they all have? They could not afford to lose the Founding Titan to Marley.
Levi nodded to Armin, his jaw set and his eyes hard.
"Arlert. Go take up your position. Commander Hange and Onyankopon will be on hand."
The blonde inclined his head, his face schooled into a grimness the likes of which Levi had never seen him wear before. His eyes followed Armin to the edge of the shadowed warehouse, before he turned back to the rest of his squad.
"Reinforcements should be arriving with us shortly. Jean – you take the lead with a team of them – I want you to keep Floch with you, too. Connie, Sasha – focus on the beacons. Mikasa – Eren is yours. Get him out of there safely once the Warhammer is obtained." He paused; his jaw clenched. His next words were forced through gritted teeth. "I'll deal with the Beast."
The group before him nodded at his instructions, before saluting in unison.
His squad.
Supposedly the best of the best.
Again.
For just the briefest of moments, Levi found himself wondering how many more squads he was going to have to lose, how many more people he was going to have a hand in sacrificing, before all of this was over. He shook the thought away quickly, pushing any and all emotion down into the dark recesses of his mind where it could be avoided. This was no time to be questioning their path, or for sentimentality or even mourning.
Historia had been right when she'd told him that Petra had chosen her own fate, along with Gunther and Eld and Oruo. And so had Mikasa, Jean, Sasha, Connie and Armin. They were here standing before him of their own free will, ready to give up their fate to his orders.
There was no die or live right now. There was only fail or succeed.
Levi would make sure success was achieved, whatever that might cost, and however much that might hurt like a fucking kick in the gut.
And yet … as he found himself trying to clear his mind, taking his position with his squad … as he watched the horror of Eren and Zeke's plans unfold before him … so much innocent death; so much unnecessary destruction …
One phrase - spoken with an impossible firmness from a voice so soft – one order so definitive – rang like a bell through his entire being, and he could not, for the life of him, manage to shake it from his thoughts.
Don't die.
As simple as that. Never mind success or failure; just don't die.
Survive.
It was an odd thing, to find himself echoing the small blonde's words aloud to his soldiers. But despite her inexperience; her naivety; her youth … Levi knew he would follow this girl's orders to hell.
And back.
Because they would survive. And they would go home.
And then – then – she could explain to him why the fuck she'd thought it best to avoid telling him about Eren's conversations with her.
P.S. From me ... thank you for all the well wishes recently - husbando is back home where he belongs and doing great! There's always hope :) x
