I'm back with my writing. This chapter was the hardest to write and PhLi helped me a big deal not to go overboard and giving too many hint and writer's opinion. Big thanks to him for that! This story will definitely take a turn here! Have a good read!


Hachiman scratched his head and sighed deeply. Taking out his phone he texted his sister that we will be on his way home now. He regained his composure yet there was this mixed feeling of fear and awe in his mind. Brushing this thought out of his head, he got up and left the school with his belongings.

"Still, she's more mature than I thought. I felt ashamed of being so childish about things like this. I should know better and yet I'm still flustered by that."

It was already close to the evening, the sun was already declining by the minutes. One would expect the streets to be empty and silent at this time of the day but for students it was the end of the school day, the end of club hour. For some lucky adults it's the end of their work schedule for the day and they can finally get back home to prepare themselves mentally for the next morning. Then you have people like Hachiman's parents who are corporate slaves, those people are missing at this time of the day. This time, as expected, those streets were indeed abandoned.

Hikigaya felt nostalgic seeing the outside in such a peaceful state. It reminded him when he went home as early as possible to keep Komachi from feeling lonely. Everytime it was peaceful to walk on the pavement. No souls around, just him, his thoughts and nature's noise. What going home an hour later or earlier could do was amazing.

The wind was cold at this hour and he didn't wear his scarf today so he tried to pedal as fast as he could to avoid getting a cold but the wind was facing him so the faster he went, the stronger the wind resistance will be and the colder he will feel. It was a vicious circle. He could only blame helping Miura because of Yui's request to selfishly spend time with her mother. It was something he had yet to comprehend nowadays. It was an alien thing to him.

When was the last time he had a pleasant time with any of his parent. He didn't loathe them. Deep down he still loved them but he just couldn't remember when such a schism occurred. He sometimes wanted to talk to them to sort things out but everytime he would but head with them of feel this tingly jealous feeling he would never dare to show to Komachi. She had always been the favorite ever since he was born and even though he loves his sister to no end, even though he would gladly throw himself in front of a car to save her, he just couldn't help feeling envy and jealousy deep inside.

"Ahh... This is no good, I better calm my mind with the fresh air. It's like I'm making Komachi the main reason of my family problems. What kind of horrible brother am I?"

It wasn't long before he reached his destination. He parked his bike alongside the entrance, locking it like usual before entering his home. As usual, Komachi was slouching on the couch while reading magazines with the TV on. It has always been a bad habit of her. He would always berate her to turn it off if she wasn't even watching it but she never stopped. Hachiman knew he couldn't stop her behavior that easily. When he still wasn't going home earlier in the past, Komachi would drown her loneliness by keeping the TV on to feel some kind of company while waiting for someone to come home.

"I'm home. Komachi, listening to the TV doesn't count as watching it, could you please turn it off?"

"Hi onii-chan, yeah yeah you already told me that like a thousand time. So?"

"So what?"

"How did it go with Yumiko-chan?" She said with her usual sly smirk of her meddling persona.

"You should really stop that you know? You're being a pain. Nothing happened that would be interesting enough for you to know. We did out homework that's all."

Both sibling stared at each other to find any sign of weakness or doubt on the other's face. Of course both were already pros at this game but Hachiman never won any round against his sister and he never knew why. He blamed it on her being an esper in secret.

"You're lying, I can sense it!"

"What are you on about you mind reader. Don't make things up, Nothing happened."

"Don't try to cover it. I know you're guilty."

"Nonsense?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Oooohhh Yeah?"

"Yes!"

"Let's see what Yumiko-chan has to say then!" She said with a thousand watt smile while shaking her phone in her hand.

Hikigaya felt his heart sinking down. His eyes were locked on the one thing he did not want to see making any sound. He was not close enough to attempt to steal it from his sister's hands, she was way too agile and fast for him to catch.

"Don't you dare."

"Tell me what happened and I won't press the call button, teehee~!"

"Komachi, it's not a game anymore, I'm really serious there."

Komachi stop shaking the device for a moment to take a good glance at her brother who looked like he was on edge. She wouldn't have called Miura even if he gave in. His reactions were all that she needed to see to know that something embarrassing happened.

She sighed and threw her phone on the couch while letting her body slump down in the warmness of the fabric.

"Ah whatever, I already know what I wanted to know. You're like an opened book for me. You should know that by now. Making you all flustered like this is priceless."

Hachiman just stood there, he felt something hurting inside him. He gritted his teeth. He wanted to reprimand her, he was tired of everybody trying to pry into his personal life. Every person has their own secrets and wounds they don't want to show the world and yet he feels like he was being denied this very right by his surrounding. Questions, meddling, curiosity, annoyance. He was sick of it.

"Komachi." He said with so much venom that his sister literally felt a chiver go down her spine.

"Y-Yeah?" She asked doubtful of the meaning of his sudden change in demeanor.

"You think it's funny right?"

"Huh?"

"Do you find it funny to always try to meddle with my life?"

"What nonsense are you spouting onii-chan? Of course I need to get in your way for your own good and you know it."

"When did I say I ever wanted or needed your help? Since the day I had this accident you've been trying to hook me up with either Yuigahama or Yukinoshita. Hell you even tried to induce Kawasaki into dating me once."

"I'm just trying to help you there! If it was only you, you would always walk straight ahead in life being blinkered. You would miss any opportunity given to you to be happy because you can't bring yourself to trust anyone being kind to you because you think you're not deserving any ounce of sympathy."

"And what if I wasn't romantically attracted to any of them? You're just making things more complicated than they actually are-"

"And here you go again being the dense you. You are a desperate case. Aren't you aware of it? I won't always be there to take care of you and support you. I will soon be a a first year in Sobu. I'll have my own social life and friends. I'm not as smart as you so I'll have to work twice as hard."

Hachiman was about to retort but felt a sudden knot in his throat rendering him unable to speak. Those words did really make him uncomfortable.

Hikigaya clenched his fists upon the truths being spoken by his sister, the one who knows him the best in the world. The one who can hurt him the most.

"I don't need people to be happy..." He sulked.

"What? You can't be serious right? Do you really want to become that kind of person? I know life in this house can be hard for you but still, do not try avoid the problems by isolating yourself please."

"Don't try to impose your vision of things on me. You may have the vision of a normal person and a loner but you're not a true loner. Don't give me that crap about people needing to have friends."

"Of course I'm not a loner and it's pretty hypocritical of you to consider yourself as one. How many person have you talked to? Remember the summer camp? Just how many people are always around you at some point? Just take a damn look at your phone, just how many numbers are in your contact list? They are almost all girls. You're always surrounded by people willing to be around you. You're a big liar as always and you're delusional. A liar escaping reality because he's scared of getting hurt again in his own little world where everybody's against him."

"And why do you think I don't want to be hurt again then Esper?!"

"Because you were traumatized from the Orimoto Kaori case obviously."

"That's where you're wrong. Yes it hurt, yes it's part of what made me become what I am today. Yes I still hate and feel strange around her whand I encounter her and no I don't like her anymore. But you're wrong about it being what traumatized me. You know full well what happened before Orimoto. I needed comfort back then and who would have been better than my family to cheer me up when I was at my lowest? What a joke. They say that your family is composed of the closest strangers in your life. I would not consider either of my mother or dad to be close to me. They just denied me the attention and told me to be a man and hold my pain in."

It was Komachi turn to stay silent in this tense situation.

"You know why they didn't try to help me in any way? They were too engrossed with you. 'Komachi is so cute', 'Komachi is our little angel'. Komachi this, Komachi that! You were and you are still the favorite by a long shot. They will give you any money you need to do something outside without questioning anything. They will never scold you when fail at your tests. I'm just the son, the failure of this family and the only redeeming thing about me is being able to brag to other parents that I got into Sobu while attending a normal middle school. They will question me when I want to buy something or go somewhere that requires money like I'm some kind of delinquent doing shady things but you just don't know what it feels like."

"… So that's how you felt about me the whole time? The annoying favorite sibling that is being a pain?"

Hachiman didn't answer her, it irritated her even more while her face was getting red out of pain and anger.

"When you came home early every time to keep me from feeling alone at home you were actually doing this out of obligation and not because you cared deeply for me? You did it because you wanted to be alone faster right and out of obligation?"

"… This and that are two different things."

"So we are saying what we truly feel deep down huh? Then I guess I can tell how much you've been bothering my life then. My friends at school would always tease me and ask me who you were and if you did blackmail me in any way. It truly is the worst to be associated with someone like you. You're just a creepy coward lying and leading people on by not trying to make a choice in his life! You're just a selfish and manipulative bastard!"

"That's rich coming from you. What should I say about this poor Taishi? He is an idiot but instead of rejecting him you're just giving him hope by putting him in the friendzone, that's actually pretty low, you're just as manipulative as I am if not more. Also, I'm sorry for being the shadow in your bright life. I'm sorry for not being someone as popular as Hayama. I am a coward and a liar all you want. I may be trying to win time with some matters but those matters are mine to handle, not yours. It is my life, not yours."

"Fine I get it. Enough. I'll leave you then, you're on your own. I won't meddle anymore nor will I act as your sister. It should be good for the both of us like this since deep down we despise each other so much right?"

"… I guess so."

Komachi left the couch and went to her room without so much as a word or a glance to Hachiman. Before disappearing from his field of vision she gave him a last glance with a tear streaming down her right cheek before disappearing.

Hikigaya just stood there. Paralyzed. Petrified. Distressed.

What the hell? Just happened? Is it a nightmare? Did I really said all those thing to her? Did she really said all those things to me? Huh?

I hate her? I hate Komachi? I don't understand... I love Komachi right? She's my sister and the cutest little one in the world. Still I don't feel a thing when I think of both possibilities. I just don't understand. What is love even? She's just the closest stranger to me after all.

She said I'm not a loner? Then what have I been all my life? What kinda person am I? It's not like I particularly want people around me to stick close, well maybe Totsuka... No... I'm just being a depraved pervert there. I don't understand. I remember I said I wanted something genuine but I don't even understand what it means or what I want. What is it that I seek? What do I want?

If I'm a big fat liar myself and that is true that I am one. Was my quest of Genuineness also a lie? Am I keeping the status quo?

Hachiman stopped his train of thought and scratched his head in confusion to calm himself.

"I'm lost there, I really don't understand."