Chapter 39: Wisping Words

16th May 2023. Aincrad, Floor 15, Synethia Inn, 07:21 PM, Aincrad Standard Time.

Kirito returned to an empty inn room. Part of him was expecting Sachi to be there, after failing to see her in the inn's dining area or cafe. He unequipped his gear and sat down on the side of his bed, and let out a sigh to himself.

Thoughts continued to swirl in his head. Thoughts that he managed to keep under control while with Asuna earlier. He couldn't shake the events of the previous night. It hadn't even been 24 hours yet. Constantly the scene kept replaying in his head. He didn't remember intentionally moving like he did, or the actions he performed. Only, the instinct.

This primal instinct ignored and overrode Kirito's intentions. He couldn't remember intent to kill the other player, yet he did.

'Was he actually a threat? Was he going to kill me? Or her?' The thought of doubt arose to undermine his past actions. The instinct could not have been stopped by rational thought.

Kirito felt a surge of anger in his head.

'She...She made me do it. She caused this. These feelings of confusion are because of her. He's dead because of her. If she wasn't there. If you hadn't…' The thought was yet fleeting before Kirito heard a knock on his door.

"Open it." Kirito commanded, not leaving his seat. If it was Sachi, she would have heard him, as well as had the ability to open the door due to Kirito granting her open access to his inn room.

The door opened and shut, and Sachi appeared. A smile lit up her face as she looked and saw Kirito sitting on the bed.

"Kazuto!" She hurriedly walked over to the bed and threw her arms around him. He placed his hands on her sides as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Sachi…"

"Y-You're back." Sachi expressed.

"Yeah."

"Are you ok?"

"I...I'm not sure." Kirito replied.

"Kirito…" Sachi pulled her head back to look at Kirito. "Kirito, I'm so sorry." Sachi continued. Kirito could start to see tears welling in her eyes.

"Wha-" Kirito began before he was cutoff.

"I-I'm so sorry. I...I realized e-earlier. H-how difficult this m-must be for you to g-go through. W-what happened...I...r-realized, it's my f-fault."

"Sa-" Kirito was once again interrupted.

"If I h-hadn't been there, i-if you w-weren't with the g-guild, and m-me. You w-wouldn't be in t-this pain."

"I-"

"K-Kazuto, I'm s-so sorry." Sachi began to sob. "Y-you sh-should l-leave. M-me, the g-guild, all o-of this. You-"

"Saori!" Kirito interrupted Sachi for once. He took both of her hands, and enclosed them in his, and held them up between the two of them. "It's not your fault." Kirito banished the thought of anger he had just before Sachi had come.

"It-"

"Sachi...Saori. It's ok. Everything is alright." Kirito assured her. He could see Sachi growing less hysterical for a minute before she eventually reduced once again.

"I-it's incredibly s-selfish. I-I'm s-sorry, I-I'm such a s-selfish person. It's n-not right of m-me to k-keep you h-here. With m-me, w-with the r-rest of the guild. I-I'm too weak. I c-can't even h-help you through th-this. Th-this isn't f-fair to y-you. You d-deserve-" Sachi was overcome by her sorrow and frustration. She had never been more upset with herself in her life.

The two sat in silence. Kirito couldn't figure out what to say. Sachi slowly calmed down. Kirito resolved himself to carry his weight. It was his burden to bear, and his alone. It wouldn't be fair to Sachi for him to drop this on her, or to anyone else. The pain, the confusion, the anger and the frustration, he wished it on no one else.

"K-Kazuto…" Sachi began, quite gently. "I w-wouldn't hate y-you if you w-wanted to l-leave. Y-you should. E-escape. W-work to free u-us all f-from this w-world. I w-won't-"

"I won't leave you." Kirito simply replied. He took Sachi's hands and interlocked his fingers with hers. "I'll see you back in the real world. I promise you."

"Y-you can do that w-without me. I-I don't need to b-be here f-for you. I'm too w-weak to be h-here for you. M-me and the g-guild, we're o-only holding y-you back. K-Kazuto...this p-past month. W-with y-you, it's b-been o-one of the b-best of my l-life. Y-you've given m-me so m-much. I don't d-deserve-"

Kirito let go of Sachi's hands and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her even closer to him. "I won't leave you." He started gently rubbing Sahci's upper and lower back. Kirito noticed Sachi's breathing grow quieter and quieter. She had fallen asleep in his arms. Kirito couldn't blame her. 'She probably didn't sleep that much last night' Kirito thought to himself. Her exhaustion culminating in one final outpour of emotion with him.

Kirito picked Sachi up, taking advantage of his strength stat, and set her gently laying down on the bed. He nestled a pillow under her head, and covered her with a sheet. He stripped down to his underwear as per his nightly routine, and laid in bed next to Sachi. He took her left hand with his right, and once again interlocked his fingers with hers.

He lay facing up, looking at the ceiling. Left in solace with his thoughts, as they came creeping back.

'Why are you still here?' Kirito's mind kept returning to the same thing. Attempting to reconcile his feelings for Sachi. He didn't know what to consider his feelings towards Sachi. 'Was it love?' He asked himself. He had said it was when Sachi said she loved him. His feelings towards Sachi were similar to those he harbored for Asuna. A deep caring for one another, a deeply held concern for another's well being.

'Do I love her? Do I love them both? Is this love?' Kirito began to question his feelings. The seeds of doubt had taken root, and had begun to sprout.

At some point processing his thoughts, Kirito drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

17th May 2023. Aincrad, Floor 15, Synethia Inn, 05:56 AM, Aincrad Standard Time.

The first rays of light began poking through the drapes into Kirito's room. Kirito began to wake up. He kept his hand with Sachi's, and lifted up his left arm to stretch, reaching towards the ceiling. After stretching he rubbed his eyes. Sachi began to stir next to him. Kirito turned to look at her.

Sachi slowly woke up. She felt her hand was quite warm, and it took a while for her to gain clarity of her surroundings. She knew the presence next to her though.

A tiny smile came across her. "Y-you're still here."

"Of course." Kirito smiled back.

"I-I'm sorry. About l-last night" Sachi stammered out.

"It's ok." Kirito assured her.

"We. H-have training with the guild today." Sachi's voice began to return to normal. She sat up, letting go of Kirito's hand and stretching with both arms. "What's on the lesson plan today?" Sachi asked in a somewhat coy manner.

"I...don't know. Haven't thought about it. We'll be done early though."

"Why is that?"

"Floor boss."

"Oh. I see."

"You doing ok?"

"Yeah. It's just…"

"What is it?"

"I a-always get concerned when you go on a clearing party."

"I'm sorry."

Sachi smiled once again. "But I understand why you do it."

The two got changed and departed to the cafe for breakfast before the rest of the guild met for practice.

21st June 2023. Aincrad, Floor 15, Synethia Inn, 09:32 AM, Aincrad Standard Time.

"What did you want to do after breakfast, Sachi?" Kirito asked Sachi, the two of them once again sitting with each other in the cafe of the inn.

"I...I h-have somewhere to t-take you. I-if you'd l-like to g-go of course." Sachi replied. Kirito noticed she was oddly nervous.

"Of course. What's the matter?"

"I-it's. I d-don't know how to say i-it. I g-guess...I'll just have t-to show y-you."

The pair got up from their table. Kirito reached out for Sachi's hand. Her hand met his and their fingers interlocked.

"Lead the way." Kirito said, as Sachi led them out the door.