Chapter 29 - Day 3: Picnic of Peril - P1

(November 21, 2018, 1:00am)

Bonnie cackled as two of her servants approached her.

"What bidding shall we do for you, Your Majesty?" one of the servants questioned.

"Send a small contingent of camera drones to Rapid City!" the Queen decreed, "I want you to take any scandalous photos of the Stoppable parents...especially if they are in the nude and doing any sexual act! Remember, the bare T&A is what I need for my issues to fly off the shelves of every Smarty-Mart in the world!"

The servants obeyed and left the room.

"Soon...my 'secret weapon' will strike against the duo!

(5:00am)

The alarm clock blared out its alarm before a groggy Kim took out a hammer, breaking it. She got out of bed and stretched her entire body.

Ron also got out of bed as well and got his feet to the floor.

"Man...that was a totally good sleep for me!" Kim grinned.

Ron nervously chuckled, taking the earplugs out of his ears due to his wife's snoring.

"Yeah...very good." he replied, tossing them in the trash can. "I'm going to go ahead, get dressed, and make breakfast."

"Don't forget though...our brunch picnic!" Kim replied sultry, touching her husband's nose, "I got my spankin' CB jumpsuit all ready for you!"

"Can't wait to see it in action!" Ron grinned devilishly.

"Before we both get dressed, however, I'll wake up the kids and you'll wake up...those two witches..." Kim said before muttering about Canna and Mary.

"I'll just put on my cheerful Ron-face on!" Ron said with a grin, putting on his shoes.

"Come on, Rufus! Let's wake the other ladies!"

Rufus opened his eyes and chittered, following his owner.

Ron opened the main cabin's door and headed out, via the front porch, to the adjoining cabin where Mary and Canna were still asleep.

Seeing that it was locked, he took the cabin key and unlocked it. He then opened the door of the adjoining cabin.

"Rise and shine, everyone! All you happy campers!"

What he didn't expect, however, was that both Mary and Canna were topless. Both of the women screamed in terror! Rufus also closed his pure eyes of the nudity.

Ron's jaw dropped to the floor.

"Jesus! You motherfucking bastard!" Canna shouted as both women threw pillows at him, "Piece of shit! I should cut off your fucking cock right fucking now if you don't fucking close the motherfucking door!"

Rufus also closed his ears because of Canna's vulgar words.

Out of sheer terror, and to protect his ears from Canna's foul mouth, Ron closed the door.

"Obviously, those two are not morning people."

Rufus agreed, nodding his head.

(5:28am)

Ron came back into the bedroom of the main cabin.

"You saw them in the nude...didn't you, Ron?" Kim questioned, her eyebrows raised. "A simple knock on the door would've sufficed!"

"KS, how was I even supposed to know not to disturb them?" he countered.

"Did you even get their text message?" Kim asked, heading to the bathroom with her denim jumpsuit, boots and accessories.

Ron took out his smartphone and discovered that, yes, Mary had indeed sent a text message to him, saying:

Don't come in our room. Just knock on the door.

He groaned and facepalmed at his mistake.

(6:07am)

Kim now appeared in her CB mid-sleeved denim jumpsuit and black boots. She unbuttoned the top three buttons halfway to highlight her cleavage, for she was wearing no bra and only thong panties underneath. Two CB charm heart bracelets, giant hoop earrings, and a gold statement necklace completed the outfit.

Ron was also dressed as well in a button-down shirt, jeans and sneakers.

"There we go!" she said, pulling her hair into a ponytail. "Ron, can you get the picnic blanket from the minivan?"

"I sure can do that, my dear!" Ron said, heading out of the cabin. He got to the Stoppable-mobile...only to find it tagged, in pink grafitti, with the word LUSERMOBILE on the right side of the van along with the words of PIG, a small UGLY LIPS on the driver's door n the left side of the van, also in pink grafitti against the puke-green ugly paint and fake wood panels. Thankfully, the tires were not slashed.

Ron gasped at this latest act against their South Dakota trip.

"KS! Get out here right now!"

(30 minutes later)

The Rapid City police arrived with two cop cruisers with their flashing lights on.

"So your minivan was tagged, Mrs. Stoppable?" Police Chief Strobe asked Kim.

"Yes..." Kim muttered, "...yet another step in this whole crazy vacation."

Ron added while getting the picnic blanket, "And we're only on Day 3."

"I'll have to analyze the pink graffiti and then we'll give you the results in a couple of days." Strobe replied. He took a couple pictures of it on his smartphone and collected a small sample of the graffiti.

"Thanks, Officer." Kim sighed. "Please give them to Wade and he can translate them to me on the Kimmunicator."

"That will not be a problem!" Strobe said, tipping his hat, "You have a good day now, Mrs. Stoppable."

"Yes...I hope..." Kim muttered as the two cop cruisers pulled out of the parking lot.

"Well...so much for a good beginning for the day!" Kim uttered. "Pink so doesn't mix well with puke green!"

Ron said nothing but stood there with the picnic blanket.

"Don't just stand there, Ron! Lay out that blanket and arrange the food perfectly! You know where to put the items!"

"Gotcha, KS!" Ron finally replied.

Canna and Mary came out of the adjoining cabin.

"Stoppable should try to knock on the fucking door first before that insensitive little bastard opens it." Canna snarled.

"Canna, you did send a text to him, remember?" Mary reminded.

"Yes, but, due to his fucking obliviousness, the motherfucker just had to see our tits!" Canna fumed. "I will so kick him in both his ass and castrate his dick!"

"Turn down the potty mouth!" Mary suggested, "They have two kids!"

"Whatever. But I am not sitting next to that blonde fucker!" Canna growled.

(7:15am)

The Stoppable family and the two women walked to an area that was about a half-mile away from the cabin to an open space.

The picnic blanket was laid out on the ground with food everywhere. Sandwichies, cookies, lemonade, potato chips, pies, and breakfast items covered the blankets. Most importantly, though were the Bueno Nacho Nacos and Diablo Sauce packets Ron saved from the camper before it met its fateful end last night.

"Dig in, Stoppable troops!" Kim exclaimed. She was sitting right next to Ron. Both Justin and Alexa were on opposite ends of the blanket. Canna and Mary sat opposite the Stoppable parents.

They all began to eat the food.

"Sometimes...I just despise the Stoppable-mobile..." Kim ranted while eating a egg salad sandwich.

"KS? Hello? I despise that van just as much as you do!" Ron said while digging into one of the Nacos dripping with Diablo Sauce.

"Why do you hold a grudge against that vehicle?" Mary asked, eating a can of beans.

"This all started when Ron and I were both 7 years old..." Kim sighed.

(22.5 years ago, 1996)

"Me and Ron were playing in the Stoppable treehouse at the beginning of that summer when Aunt Josephine came for a visit..."

Kim and Ron were then 7 at the time and were playing a board game in the treehouse when they heard the squeal of wheels.

"Oh no!" Ron exclaimed, hiding in the couch. "It's her!"

"Ron, who's her?" Kim asked on why her best friend was scared, considering that he was already afraid of a lawn gnome.

"Aunt Josephine Marie...on my mom's side!" Ron explained.

"You introduced me to all your aunts and uncles!" Kim said, "Some were good...some were bad..."

"Not this one...she's the worst one of them all, KP!" Ron exclaimed.

"Come on, how bad can she be?" Kim asked with a slight giggle.

As it turned out...I underestimated her...

"Ronald Dean Stoppable! You know better than that to be associate yourself with a girl wearing t-shirt and jeans!" Josephine exclaimed, grabbing Ron by the hand. She escorted him to the table.

"Ohhh...that bad." Kim replied.

"She is supposed to be wearing a dress and playing with dollies! NOT in a filthy treehouse!" Josephine insisted.

"You take that back about my friend!" Ron demanded. "You are not her mom! And I am not your mom! You treat others with respect!"

Josephine, in her mid 30s, was wearing a button-down shirt, denim jeans, and sneakers. She was one of Donna's four sisters within her family.

She glared at Ron, "I'm going to teach you a lesson, young man, to respect your elders!" Josephine brought her. "And to get away from that demon child!"

"Hey! What's going on here?!" Ron exclaimed.

"I'm going to ask that same thing!" Kim added, confused of why this was happening.

"We have just signed you up for a summer camp and are sending you there today." Donna explained at the table, "It'll be the perfect way for you to meet new friends!"

"WHAT?! You're sending me away to camp?!" Ron exclaimed in fear! "You can't do this!"

"No!" Kim explained, holding Ron by the hand "He's staying here with me!"

"I got all the summer fun I have with KP!" Ron added!

"This is our way of telling you that you need to be with nature once in a while." John replied.

Donna added, "Since our car has trouble, Aunt Josephine will be more than happy to take you there...to Camp Wannaweep!"

Ron gasped in fear! Tears began to well in his eyes "NO! PLEASE! NOT IN THAT MINIVAN! KP! HELP ME!"

Kim tried to reach him but was cut off by Donna.

"Don't worry, Kimberly. Ronald will be fine! It's only going to be for three months!"

Tears also welled in Kim's eyes. Since Pre-K, they have never ever been apart.

Josephine yanked Ron from Kim's hand.

"This is for your own good, Ronald!" Josephine exclaimed.

She took him to her Drudge Tangerine with the infamous puke-green color and the wood-paneling and locked him up in a booster seat.

"NO! THAT VANS SMELLS OF SICK AND WRONG!" Ron cried as Josephine forced the coon-skin cap on him.

"I wanna come with him!" Kim insisted.

"You are not going!" Josephine snapped at the young child. She slammed the sliding door on Ron and drove away. "You are not going to influence your tomboyish ideas on him!"s

Tears filled Kim's eyes as she began to cry on the grass.

"Don't worry!" Donna insisted to Kim, "At Camp Wannaweep, Ronald will be fine...fine...fine

fine...fine...

(back to the present)

"Aside from Kimgate '08, that summer at the infamous Camp Wannaweep was the longest time I have gone without even seeing Kim." Ron explained, holding Kim by the hand.

"It got very frustrating when his mom stopped accepting his phone calls. He was calling her up even at two in the morning." Kim added.

"Oh yeah...now I remember! I slept through her entire funeral...as did her kids!"

"So when Aunt Josephine died two years ago, why didn't you sell the Stoppable-mobile ASAP?" Mary asked.

"When we inherited that...vehicle...she made a stipulation in the will that if any of us sold the vehicle, the police would slap a charge against us for grand theft auto. I thought it was totally ridiculous and preposterous." Kim explained the sitch with the van, "Ron tried to sell the vehicle six months after she died...and he got arrested by the cops! Aunt Josephine had a lot of influence within Middleton."

"It was no fair! That for-sale sign was totally justified!" Ron complained. "No wonder why she left almost all her money in the will to her pets...and was universally hated by her kids."

"Thankfully, with the help of Wade and Dr. Director, we got the charges dropped. But the Stoppable-mobile has been with us...ball-and-chain...for the past four years." Kim continued.

"The only way now to get rid of the Stoppable-mobile is if the engine finally dies on that thing." Ron whined. "But it's like the T-1000! It just won't die!"

"And thanks to someone who thinks the garage door opener is a toy..." Kim said, glaring at Justin, the troublemaker of the two Stoppable offspring, "...we're stuck with it for the entireity of the trip."

"So where do y'all think we should attack first today?" Kim asked while eating a piece of bacon. "Bear Country USA or Mt. Rushmore?"

Mary got out her tablet and said while pressing her thumb across the screen.

"I'd suggest that we should see Bear Country USA first because, according to their site, it closes on December 2nd for the winter. Even though Mt. Rushmore is the far more popular of the two attractions."

Rufus nodded his head in agreement.

Ron chuckled nervously, "Heh, I was about to say that...exact same...thing..."

"That's a good idea, Mary." Kim added, "We should have lunch in-between the two places."

"According to Bueno Nacho's locator site, there are two locations in Rapids City. One near the downtown area and the other is along US 16." Ron said, playing along with Mary's tablet.

Canna huffed, "Still not going there..."

"Oh come on, Canna. Just because you and Mary are vegans doesn't mean you can't go inside one." Ron ranted.

Canna fumed and almost wanted to explode in terms of uttering the most vile and despicable words, but couldn't because of the Stoppable kids.

"We still prefer our orders of the veggie tacos to-go..." she replied calmly.

Ron grinned as he grabbed his soda from the picnic basket.

He turned to Rufus.

"Yo, buddy. I bet you can't make a tall geyser of soda like I can!"

Rufus then squeaked "On!" grabbing his soda as well.

The two of them then began to shake it simultaneously.

Kim grabbed one of the sodas and said, "Ron, you aren't four! Don't play with your food!"

She unintentionally opened the shaken soda and it began to spray all over her, splashing all over her hair, her exposed cleavage and the top half of her jumpsuit.

Ron gasped at the state of his wife covered in cola.

"KS! Lemme help you!"

He quickly grabbed some paper towels to try and clean up the mess.

Kim took several deep breaths to try and compose herself, trying to resist the temptation to sucker-punch her sometimes-clumsy husband.

"Don't fret, Ron! I got it all under control!" she insisted, dabbing away the cola with the paper towels.