"Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three, seventy-four, seventy…"

"Why did you stop?"

Rey bit her lip and sniffed, wiping her tears. He dug the brush in her scalp and she closed her eyes, understanding that he would not give up anytime soon and that it was pointless to avoid his question and even more useless to try to lie to him.

"I dreamt it again," she admitted. "I was in my house with Ben and our daughter. She liked elephants and riding horses and I loved her so much. If only I could hold her, I would be so happy. Please, Kylo. Please…"

He said nothing and that silence was worse than any other threat. It meant that he was angry and that she would get punished. Biting her lip even harder, she wept. It all had been so beautiful inside her mind. If only she could sleep all the time.

"You need to think positive thoughts, my love. Father and daughter are together now."

Rey turned to face him with a serene look on her face. She smiled full of hope and looked at that dreadful mask without feeling any fear for once in her life, then put her shakey palms on his chest, barely finding her words. Maybe he wasn't that cruel after all.

"You took her to him? Is she safe?"

She shook her head and chuckled. Of course she was safe! Ben was the greatest father a woman could choose for her baby. And Anna was going to be so much like him, but much stronger and confident. And one day she would return to them and they would forgive her for not fighting enough and for wasting so much time.

"Oh, dearie," he tilted his head. "They're both in hell and you know it. She was food for the stray dogs and he killed himself. Rey-Rey, how many times do we have to go through this?"

"They're dead?" she whimpered feeling everything inside her break. "But why? She was… and Ben was…"

"This is a reminder that you made a huge mistake choosing him, a weak pathetic man. He chose death over you. And you both failed that thing you gave birth to. You see? It's a sign that it should have never happened. Fate erased them from your life so that you can start all over again."

"But I love them!" she cried.

"You can't waste your love on dead people, sweetheart. Now you can be all mine,"

"All yours," she repeated remembering her wedding vows and kissing Ben in front of their beloved friends. What it would have been like to have him by her side while giving birth and take care of Anna their entire lives.

"All mine," he insisted, putting his fingers around her neck and squeezing. "All mine ."

/|\

Rey gasped for air while staring at the ceiling. The vomit was up in her throat and she had to inhale a couple of times until her stomach and heartbeat calmed down. She got up barely standing on her own, then left her warm bed and comfortable bedroom. It was dark in the house, except for a dim light coming from the old guest room. She had gone to bed rather early, so it was probably a little bit over midnight, meaning that someone was still awake and grumpy.

"Oh, you scared me!" she jumped once Ben got out and bumped into her. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"Anna called me. She wasn't feeling well."

Rey shook her head with a disappointed look on her face, biting the inside of her cheek. She wasn't sure whether her daughter was indeed sick, which made her feel even guiltier for having doubts, or if she just wanted her father, which made her feel unloved and a failure as a mother.

"She threw a major tantrum this morning. I left the nursery door open and she saw all the toys and the crib, so she panicked. She thinks I'm going to replace her."

"She'll get over it once she'll replace you with the baby," chuckled Ben as Rey gave him a deadly glare. "Look, I can talk to her. You know she's sensitive and Phasma's kids have told everyone that Anna was an orphan abandoned in a trash can."

"Oh, no!" she grunted massaging her forehead. "We've decided to keep the kids out of this mess. Just wait until Kaydel finds out and we have to go through another process." She stopped massaging her head and sighed. "So she knows and she hates me… and James."

"She doesn't hate you," he squeezed her shoulder. "She loves you so much that she's afraid she'll lose you to someone else. She's my daughter after all."

"Don't I know?" she chuckled but turned serious immediately. "But she did tell me that she hates me and the baby. I was even called by one of the moms to ask me why I cancelled her birthday party. She told everyone that her birthday party is cancelled and didn't even bother to tell me. I was supposed to get up in a couple of hours to prepare food and sweets for twenty kids who wouldn't have even come. And their parents see me as this selfish monster who cancelled her daughter's birthday just because she has some backaches."

Ben smiled at her and she furrowed at his annoying composure. Maybe the backaches and fears emerging through those horrible nightmares had been making her rather grumpy and a little bit too oversensitive.

"Look, I'll take care of Anna and her tantrums. Don't worry. I'll take her to the farm tomorrow and you can rest."

Rey nodded and caressed her swollen belly.

"How's James?" asked Ben looking at a sleeping Anna through the ajar door.

"He's been a bit agitated after the argument I had with Anna, but he is sleeping now. I'm surprised I didn't wake him up with my nightmares."

"What nightmares?" he looked at her with a worried face. She had managed to keep those nightmares a secret for weeks.

"Well…" she sighed. "The last time I was this pregnant, I was locked up and I had my baby taken away from me for three years. I keep having nightmares that I've never escaped and I swear they're so real, Ben."

Ben took her hand and kissed it as she sniffed. She was so beautiful despite her messy hair and sleepy puffy face. In fact, he could have sworn that pregnancy made her prettier than ever and incredibly adorable with that watermelon she kept carrying under her shirt. Smiling, he approached her and kissed her forehead, pretending that he hadn't noticed her biting her lip as if inviting him to bite it as well. It had been only a couple of months since they had last made love… if humping all over the living room was to be called 'making love'.

"Daddy?"

Rey jumped alarmed at the sound of her daughter's voice, but Ben calmed her down with a gentle brush against her naked shoulder.

"You go to sleep and I'll go take care of Anna. Ok?"

"Ok," she agreed with a hesitant nod. "I'll just go get some tea and then I'll go back to bed. Are you going to stay here tonight?"

"I'll sleep with Anna if it's ok with you two."

"No, it's fine," she shrugged. "And James will be fine as long as I am so… Just make sure to lock the door."

Ben watched her go downstairs, feeling her anxiety like burning rays reaching his own skin, then entered his daughter's bedroom. Sometimes it seemed so surreal to have that old guest bedroom turned Rey's private bedroom during her amnesia as his daughter's little perfect chamber. He jumped over Anna's collection of toy elephants and Bee and her adopted kittens sleeping between the toy teacups, then got in her bed. Admiring her long eyelashes touching her cheeks, he kissed her forehead knowing that nothing could ever feel the same.

"Mommy found out about your plan," he whispered playing with her now almost pitch black curls. "She wasn't very happy about you lying to her."

"I wasn't happy either," she murmured cuddling at his chest. That was the sign that she wasn't going to carry on that conversation. Knowing her and knowing himself, Ben didn't insist and just hugged her still very tiny body.

"Daddy and mommy love you so much, Anna. Never forget this."

"I know," she sighed. "But my tummy hurts now, daddy. And so does my chest."

"Is my baby's little heart broken?"

She nodded and started sobbing as Ben held her tighter. She fell asleep still crying just before Rey entered the bedroom. She smiled despite being equally broken-hearted, then approached them. The bed was rather small for two people, let alone three, but with Anna still being so small and Ben being a couple of centimetres away from falling out of the bed, Rey managed to sneak in it as well. Now that Anna was asleep, she could touch her and hold her without facing her rejections and tantrums. Those last five years have passed so quickly that every now and then, she feared the mere idea of having Anna grow up and become an adult. She had fought so hard to protect her that with each recent failure, she knew that the time when she could no longer protect her was slowly coming and turning her precious baby into a feisty young lady.

"It will all be fine," tried Ben to ease her pain and worries. Rey laid her head in his palm as he was gently stroking her belly with his other hand. He chuckled feeling the baby kick and looked at Rey, who couldn't help feeling sad and remind herself of all the things they had missed during her first pregnancy and Anna's first years.

"Do you think I should have waited some more? I don't even know how to take care of a newborn."

"You'll be the perfect mother and this grumpy lady here will be the perfect helper and sister."

Rey looked at Anna's dry tears, then at Ben's gorgeous eyes looking at her with nothing but love. She swallowed her tears and pursed her lips. Maybe Anna's temper was not all Ben's genes.

"I'm sorry, Ben-Ben," she murmured admitting after a long time that it was her selfishness that had once again hurt their relationship and pushed him away.

"It's ok," he smiled feeling the baby kick again. "We're all going to be ok. Don't worry."

He kept saying those words, but she couldn't not worry. The fact that they were sleeping in Anna's bed instead of theirs was the living proof that everything had a limit.

\|/

The next morning, after another tantrum, Anna finally agreed to have her mother join her and her daddy on a trip to the farm, but only with the condition that she would take care of Bee and her kittens while she rode her favourite horse. Despite being now officially only eight years old, she was the best horse rider in the entire town and auntie Kaydel had promised to help her attend as many contests as possible now that her mommy was busy having someone new to love.

As if guessing her thoughts, Ben reached her and gently pinched her leg.

"Daddy, do you think mommy will take me back to the orphanage now that she's going to have a new baby?"

Ben's lips thinned in a firm line. His precious daughter should have never found out like that about her past.

"I know that I'm adopted, daddy. The other kids told me and I know that there are no photos of me as a baby in the house."

"You're not adopted and even if you were, there wouldn't have been a problem about it. Do you remember that story you used to love so much?"

"The one about the princess locked up in a tower by an evil ogre, who had to hide her baby in a basket and send it away so that the ogre wouldn't eat it?"

"That one," laughed Ben. "Well… the princess was your mommy and you were the baby in the basket."

Anna looked at him with her huge dark eyes, now understanding what Rey must have felt each time he looked at her with puppy eyes. His heart melted immediately, but despite all that love, he couldn't help feeling miserable about Rey's and Anna's pain and fractured relationship. It was too early and only he knew how much Rey had suffered even when Anna was still just a random child she had fallen for. And how much he had suffered believing that he had lived a lie. He had reacted poorly even as an adult. Of course, his baby daughter had reacted equally bratty.

"But I was found in a trash can, daddy. And if you were the prince, then you're a pretty terrible prince and you can't be one, because you're the best daddy in the whole wide world."

Ben laughed again, unsure of what to say. She was right. He had been a pretty terrible prince for Rey, but at least Anna adored him as her father.

"I guess we're not as nice in real life or else we wouldn't need fairy tales anymore. But what I was trying to say is that your mommy can have dozens of new babies, but her love for you will always be the same. Love can only grow stronger and bigger."

"But the baby," she protested.

"Tell me, my heart. Do you love me?"

"Of course!" she furrowed almost insulted.

"And do you love mommy?"

"She is the best mommy in the world even though we've argued."

"And do you feel less love for her just because you love me?"

Anna pondered the question, then looked at her father with a serious gaze.

"I love you differently. Mommy is mommy and daddy is daddy. I love auntie Kay and auntie Rose too, but differently. Just like I do with uncle Poe and uncle Finn… and uncle Luke and grandma Leia and grandma Reyne and grandma Maz."

"Exac-"

"And grandpa Han and grandpa Caiden."

"I kn-"

"And great-grandma Margarita and great-grandma Padme."

"I know, baby!" stopped her Ben from mentioning all their relatives.

"And Bee and her kittens."

"Well then," he sighed amusedly. "If you are able to love so many people, then why can't mommy love another baby?"

"Because she is my mommy. What if she likes that baby more than me? You know… I told her that I hate her."

Ben shook his head rather lost.

"Your mommy knows you love her and that you didn't really mean it. But it would help more if you would stop being so mean to her."

"But you're mean to her too!" she defended herself. "You always make her cry in the middle of the night!"

Ben bit his lip knowing perfectly well that his cheeks were seconds away from turning red.

"Yeaaah, but she forgives me because I apologize ," he coughed. "However, yo-"

"I think mommy peed her pants," she giggled and pointed at Rey.

Ben ignored her remark for a moment, then realised the implications and turned to look at Rey. She was cupping her belly and looking at her wet turquoise dress and brown suede boots. She lifted her head and made a pained grimace as a contraction hit. It seemed that Anna was about to get a baby brother for her birthday,

/|\

For a giant peach, baby James Solo seemed so tiny and fragile in his mother's arms that Rey refused to even consider letting him go for a couple of hours so that the both of them could get some sleep. She nervously bit her nail once more, then gently touched his button nose and weird-looking skin. The boy responded with a grimace and clenched his tiny fists. He was going to be another feisty one.

"I can't stop staring at him," laughed Rey with her eyes still filled with tears of love. "He's gorgeous."

"He looks like a toad."

Rey gave her husband another deadly glare. How dare he call her son a toad!

"He is perfect . If there's anything slightly wrong about him is all because his daddy had a huge appetite even when I was heavily pregnant."

"Sure, blame it on me," laughed Ben brushing his finger against his son's. James immediately grabbed it and squeezed it, making sure that his father would irreversibly fall in love with him, unless he hadn't the first moment his eyes met his.

"He sure is amazing," he kissed Rey. "Are you going to let me hold him?"

"Mmmno," she laughed never taking her eyes off her son. "I just want to hold him until I'm sure that he's safe."

"You can't hold him until he turns thirty!"

Rey pinched Ben's nose just as someone knocked at the door. Carrying a huge heart-shaped balloon and an even larger gift bag, Kaydel entered dragging inside a rather reluctant Anna, who was also carrying a huge gift bag and a smaller one. They were supposed to go buy Anna a birthday gift together, but someone else sure had different plans.

"Hey!" smiled Kaydel all excited. "Where's the new babe?"

"Here he is," introduced Rey her new grumpy baby. "Oh, and please tell my husband that baby James doesn't look like a toad!"

"All babies look like toads," laughed Kaydel ignoring her sister's deadly stare to take out an adorable teddy bear suit for her new nephew. "Look! Isn't it cute? It's from Anna and I and… Come on! Don't look at me like that! You know your babies are the only babies I can tolerate."

Rey rolled her eyes, then caught the glimpse of her daughter hiding behind her aunt. She pursed her lips and looked at her mommy and the bundle of red-pinkish flesh she was holding. She furrowed, then finally gathered the courage to approach them, especially after her dad winked at her and invited her to come closer.

"He looks like a baby elephant," she murmured and Rey exhaled relaxed. "I like him. He's cute."

Rey's eyes got all watery and not just because someone finally had something nice to say about her baby, but because she hadn't expected Anna to be that willing to accept her brother. She looked at her beloved husband and caressed his hand before sighing and handing James to him. Now the baby looked even tinier in his father's giant arms.

"Look, Anna. He's James."

"Does he have another name?" she said tilting her head and analysing his face. "I'm Anna Benjamin Solo. Shouldn't he be James-something Solo?"

"How about Rey? James Rey Solo?" suggested Kaydel, but once she saw her sister make a disgusted grimace, pretended she had said nothing.

"Why not Luke?" said Anna pressing her finger against his cheek. The baby immediately grabbed her finger, making her gasp fascinated as he seemed to have stared at her for one moment, before making a grimace similar to a smile.

"Mommy!" she exclaimed looking at Rey, who was sort of considering her daughter's suggestion. "I love him! Can we keep him? I want him as my birthday gift!"

The three adults laughed and Rey nodded.

"Baby James Luke Solo will be part of our family for forever."

"Thank you, mommy!" jumped Anna in her mother's arms and Rey let out a sob. Oh, how she had missed her daughter's lovely hugs. "I love you the most, but don't tell daddy," she whispered as Rey kissed her cheek.

"Same," she smiled, then looked for a moment at her husband as he rocked the baby, visibly overwhelmed by everything. "Happy birthday, my mango!"