Chapter 30 - Day 3: Picnic of Peril - P2

(5 more minutes later)

A butterfly then caught the attention of Alexa.

"Oooh...butterfly!" she said sweetly. She began giving chase to the butterfly, following a path into the woods.

Ron turned around and saw his daughter giving chase to the butterfly.

"Ron, can you get Alexa back here before she gets hurt?" Kim asked to her husband while getting rid of the rest of the cola off her cleavage. "I'll keep an eye on Justin."

"No problemo, KS!" Ron replied before giving chase to their daughter.

"Alexa? Come back here, my little sweet petunia."

Alexa continued to chase the butterfly along the dirt path within the woods, smiling and humming along the way.

"La-la-la-leee-laa..." she exclaimed, clapping her hands along the way.

Ron was not far behind her. However, he then slipped on a discarded browned-out banana peel and fell on his buttocks.

"How did that even get there?" he asked in disgust, tossing the peel aside. He then resumed the chase.

"Alexa! Alexa! Come back here, my sweet little dear!"

"Butterfly! Butterfly!" Alexa chanted. She was now walking...into an area covered by either side with poison ivy. A sign was even there warning in bold red letters: DANGER: POISON IVY! KEEP OUT!

Alexa continued to stay on the dirt path away from the ivy.

"Alexa! Be careful, my sweet flower!"

Ron tried to catch up...but he then clumsily tripped over and fell into the ivy, prompting him to itch on his arms.

"Get it off! Get it off!" His foot then accidentally stepped on the tail of a skunk, which then sprayed him right in the face.

"AHHH! IT SMELLS! IT SMELLS!"

Ron then bumped into a tree, as a bee hive falls in his hands. Bees then began to swarm out of the hive and began to chase him!

"BEES! BEES!"

He managed to jump into a nearby mud pile...

"Ahh...finally, managed to get out of that one!"

...only to have his pants ripped from behind.

"OH, COME ON!"

_

(20 more minutes later)

Kim sighed, looking at her CB gold women's watch.

"What's taking Ron so long? We have to get ready in time to leave to go!"

Ron finally managed to emerge from the woods. He was covered in mud, poison ivy sores, and a couple of bee stings on his arms...and his pants fell to his ankles, revealing his blue heart boxers. As for Alexa, she was virtually unharmed and the butterfly was resting on her shoulder.

"Ron?! What happened to you?"

"Chased Alexa...but I can assure you, KS, that she is safe!"

Kim sighed, "Ron...you have to clean up before we leave to go to Mt. Rushmore! And change your clothes! It looks like you've been through a mud pit!"

"Yes, ma'am..." Ron sighed, marching right back to the cabin, shuffling his pants.

"What's with him?" Mary asked.

Canna scoffed and whispered in Mary's ear to prevent Kim from hearing her swear, "Just our cousin being his fucking clumsy self again...stupid ass."

Kim picked up Alexa and said, "Don't wander off like that, dear. Mommy and Daddy were worried about you!"

"Look at me, Mommy! I have the butterfly!" Alexa smiled. The butterfly was on her hair.

"That's super cute and all, Alexa, but stay with me, OK?" Kim asked.

"Okay, Mommy!" Alexa replied with a grin on her face. Rufus then crawled up to Kim's side and tugged on her jumpsuit.

"What is it now, Rufus?"

Rufus started to chitter and point. Kim looked at the picnic basket and gasped.

An army of ants were stealing their food from their basket.

"You stupid ants! You're not going to get away with this!"

She ran to the picnic area and began to swat away at the ants, unintentionally tipping the food over and causing a huge mess.

"Whoa...whoa..."

And then Kim tripped over the basket.

"WHOAAA!"

She landed on her behind and could only watch as the ants resumed taking the food.

"Ugh...stupid ants. Trying to disrupt my fun, huh! Well, they won't!"

And then she felt a tingling sensation on her behind.

"The hell?"

She scratched her rear and then scratched her legs.

As it turned out, ants were crawling inside of Kim's denim jumpsuit via the back flap used to do her...business.

"AHHH! They're ANNOYING! GET 'EM OFF! GET 'EM OFF!"

Canna snickered and began to record the whole thing.

Since they were, thankfully, harmless ants, they did not bite her. However, it was very irritating to have hundreds of ants in Kim's jumpsuit. They were also climbing into her cleavage where the cola was spilled.

Her screaming attracted the attention of Ron...whom was clad in his birthday suit.

"I'm coming to save you, KS!"

Kim was rolling around in the grass when she saw her husband in "all his glory."

"Ron...clothes please!" she shouted.

"Sorry! I'll get them!" Ron insisted, returning to the cabin.

Kim kept on rolling in the grass...and felt as if something was missing.

Ron returned to the scene a few minutes later, now fully clothed in a t-shirt and jeans.

"I'm coming to the rescue, KS!"

Kim finally managed to stop rolling in the grass.

"No need, Ron. I got rid of the ants...finally."

"You sure, KS?" Ron questioned.

She stood upright and had a few dirt stains on her jumpsuit pockets, and on her kneecaps and on her behind and a few blades of grass on her cleavage as well.

"Ron...I'm fine now..." Kim insisted.

"Uhhh...KS?"

"What is it now, Ron?"

"I...erm...ummm..."

"Stop babbling! Spill!"

Ron insisted, pointing, "Whatever you do, KS, don't look back..."

"I don't know where you're going with this, Ron." Kim snarled. She was unaware that Canna was taking more pictures of her with her smartphone.

"I'd suggest to you to cover your assets, if you know what I mean!" Ron replied.

"For some reason, I feel a breeze..." Kim muttered before finally realizing what Ron meant.

Kim turned her head around and saw that one of the buttons on the rear flap of her jumpsuit was missing. Her left buttock was hanging out of the jumpsuit, the denim flapping against the wind. .

"Oh NO!" she whined. "Not again!"

Justin and Alexa giggled at the sight of their mom having problems with her clothes.

"KS, should I get the duct tape?" Ron asked.

"Uh...DOY, RON!" Kim shouted.

Without a word, Ron ran back up to the cabin to grab the Smarty-Mart brand duct tape. He came back with the tape to make a hasty repair to the jumpsuit. He applied a piece of tape and covered the buttock.

"There ya go! Good as new!" Ron said with a grin.

"No one can doubt your mad taping skills, Ron." Kim replied, rubbing her behind with the duct tape to make sure the tear was secure. "Now let's clean up and get to Bear Country before the crowds get bad!"