My dear little broccolis 💚💚💚

💚 So remember that this pic is RATED M, and it is not only for the sexy times. Some dark moments will be approached in this story, and they can trigger some people. This is a fair warning to remind you that this story sets place in a dark world, which means it is bound to mountains dark themes.

Love, Mina 💚💚💚

.

Chapter 40: Reminiscence (2,5K)

‼️PLEASE DON'T BE A SILENT READER AND LEAVE A REVIEW

IT REALLY DOES HELP‼️

💚Just a few fair warnings. I will not be answering reviews from this moment onwards. It takes too much of my times (1h and sometimes 1h30) and it's time I should spend writing. But please, don't stop this from making you review. As you saw by the three updates in a week, reviews are fuel ...

Also, I just want to tell you guys that this story is a Christian mostly point-of-view. So we won't get Ana's point-of-view anymore. And actually, Kate and Elena are also out of the way … Yeah, I am mean like that, it's okay, I know you still like me 😉

And I have to tell you guys that I feel you guys are putting a lot of importance into Raymond's knowledge of the situation. Not saying that it isn't important, but CG and AS relationship is still not really determined or developed. There is no point unveiling it if it is not strong yet ...

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

Christian's PoV

When Christian came home, midnight had already struck since a while. Bastille was nowhere to be seen, but it didn't worry Christian. He knew that the cat liked to go out and about on the roof, probably pretending to be the master of the universe. For a while, he sat on his couch, trying to think of nothing of his day and to empty his mind. This was a ritual he had come to do when he got home, following Mia's advice on 'decluttering his mind of the outside world'

She had started yoga exercises a month ago and was preaching the method to everyone she encountered. And Christian had to admit that putting his spirit at ease once he crossed the threshold of his home had a calming effect on him. He didn't go as far as trying the lotus position (and he wasn't planning to), but this small meditation gave him a clear mind for the next day.

After ten minutes or so, Christian went upstairs and took a shower, trying to figure out what he could do for the next couple of days. Every year, on the same date, Raymond gave him those two days off, and Christian never knew what to do with his time. He thought that he should have planned this better, so he could have gone to Macau to see Ping, but he already did that two weeks ago, three weeks after Ana's birthday. And now he had two free days, with no idea how to spend them.

He knew very well why Raymond systematically took those two particular days, so he should have been more prepared, but this year, he kind of let himself live through the motions instead of always being in control when it came to his personal life. Ever since he came back from the dead, as Jose would put it, Christian had tried to enjoy to the most his moments with Ana, whether they were planned or improvised. And ever since Ana got on the pill, she paid him a lot of improvised visits that left the both of them breathless.

As he walked into his room, thinking of reading a book before sleeping, he found the brunette and his cat sleeping in his bed, while a movie was playing on her laptop. He smiled to himself, despite his surprise of finding Ana there on that particular night, and he silently slipped next to her. Bastille lazily woke up, blinking in Christian's direction before yawning and leaving the bed to live his merry life.

He was about to switch off the movie when it caught his interest, so he put it back at the beginning, curious of what The Shawshank Redemption could be about. Bastille came back as Morgan Freeman showed his skill as a prison fence, jumping with dexterity on Christian's laps and demanding his due petting that Christian mindlessly gave while watching the movie.

It was when Andy was getting beaten up by the prison guards for putting music on, that Christian's interested shifted from the movie to Ana. She stirred a little in her sleep, moaning something that sounded a lot like 'Oh God' and that made Christian grin like a child.

Bastille left, outraged that his massage seance had been interrupted, and though his eyes were on the screen, Christian's focus was on his girl having a wet dream. He had half a mind to wake her and make her dream reality, but he didn't go through with it, sure that would she be awake, she wouldn't have her mind to sex.

Suddenly, she woke up with a jolt, all hot and bothered and Christian paused the movie, smirking at her. She smiled, her brain still assimilating that she just woke up, and she said with a groggy voice,

"You're home." He smiled, loving to hear her say that word. He knew that they weren't living together, and that, given Ana's strong determination to keep her father away, that was bound to never happen, but he still liked to hear her say home when she talked about his place.

She rubbed her eyes, obviously trying to chase the sleep away, and she confessed, "I was dreaming about you."

"I heard," He replied with presumption. After all, it wasn't because she was having a sex dream that it meant that he was starring in that said-dream. Dreams weren't something that could be controlled.

She blushed, looking down slightly before she took in a deep breath and looked at the screen, blatantly changing the topic, "So you're waiting for me to be asleep to watch my movies. I am going to pretend all the time, now."

"It seemed interesting," He said, surprised that Ana, who never lost an occasion to joke about sex, was getting shy all of the sudden because she had a wet dream.

"It is. It is one of my favourite Stephen King with Misery. So? What do you think? Do you think he killed his wife?"

"There are some pros and some cons … But I don't think this is what the story is about."

"You shall see," She mysteriously said, picking Christian's interest for that movie even more.

She smiled at him, slouching so she could be closer to him and rest her face on his chest, and he told her, "I didn't expect you to be here."

She shrugged, clearly not willing to go down the path that Christian was tracing for her, and she asked, "Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?"

He looked down, waiting for her to talk on her own, and so she did, not looking up, "I … would like to spend the day with you. Just the two of us."

This made Christian frown because though he wouldn't mind, he felt that Ana should spend the next day with her father. "Isn't tomorrow your —"

"I don't want to be alone. Dad is travelling. Kate and Jake are both busy with their travelling plans. Ethan is out of town. I just … don't want to be alone."

Christian longly stared at her chestnut hair, hesitating on confronting her on the issue, before he kissed her hair, and promised her, "You won't." She squeezed her arms around his torso, and he let her know, "In fact, I was planning on going someplace tomorrow. We could do that together, instead of staying here."

She nodded, before putting the movie back on, all the while avoiding Christian's eyes. And they watched the end of the movie together, hugging one another.

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

Christian's PoV

As Christian was reading the newspaper, Bastille kept on playing with the swinging corner on his left side, and he couldn't tell if he was annoyed or amused by the cat's antics. He was skimming through the sports section, his mind half set on investing in a team for his retirement plan, when Ana finally came downstairs, ready to go.

No matter how long they have been together, Christian couldn't understand how she could sometimes spend a whole hour under the shower. Just under the water, not even getting ready with all her incomprehensible products, just washing her body and hair.

The two of them took Christian's car, though Ana tried to convince him to take her brand new red Porsche, and they talked about mundane things while Christian drove them to the particular destination he had in mind. Ana was trying to plan their next travel, Peru still fresh on her mind. She wanted to do something as physical. She was hesitating between doing a safari in Kenya and climbing the Kilimanjaro.

Christian half listened, his mind more preoccupied on how he was going to get her to cooperate with his next move, than on a possible journey to Africa. But when he pulled over, Ana stopped talking all at once, and squinted her eyes in his direction,

"What are we doing here?" She accused, pointing the cemetery's gates. He looked at her, not sure if she was angry or sad, and told her,

"I think you know." She glared at him, scoffing and crossing her arms across her chest, and so he asked, "Did you ever come here on that particular day?"

She pursed her lips, before muttering, "To be honest, Mike used to take me here. For her birthday, on the day of the funeral, for All Saints Day. But after he left … I didn't see the point of coming here when I couldn't even remember her face."

There was a small moment of silence. Christian knew how much Ana was hurting to be shut down by her father concerning her mother. He knew that, though she would never admit it, a part of her holding it against Christian to have killed Lincoln, the only person who still talked about her mother to her, because by doing so, he took away a part of her mother. And the thing was, he didn't know how to deal with her pain. He saw how her eyes sometimes got sad when she saw Elena and Katerine together, he heard the longing in her voice when she was preparing her best friend's wedding with Mrs Kavanagh, he felt her pain in Japan when she tried to recapture a part of her mother's childhood.

But he could do nothing about it. Because it wasn't his place to help her with that pain.

"Ana …" He started, but she shook her head, and demanded,

"I want to leave, Christian. I don't want to stay here."

"Your father comes here every year," He blurted out. She looked at him with round eyes, and he explained, "Every year, your father comes here and spends the day with your mother. Every year he brings her flowers. Every year, no matter what happens at work, no matter where he is on the globe, your father takes time to pay a visit to your mother on that particular day."

"How would you know?"

"A couple of years after I started working for your father, I noticed this consistency in his schedule, I followed him. And the year after. That's how I knew that he had a wife. I would never have known otherwise."

Ana stared at the entry of the cemetery, thinking and processing the fact that her father came here every year. She whispered, "He comes here every year, but he didn't even come to her funeral."

Christian watched her fight against her tears, and he gently put his hand over hers, "I'm sorry, Ana. But your father will never be the one who will make that step you desperately want him to make. If you want to mend that rip between you, you will have to do it yourself. You will have to walk to that gravestone, and talk to your father yourself because he's too hurt to do it himself."

"Why?! It's not fair! He's the one who remembers her! It's his job to talk about her!" She exclaimed, self-righteous, before wiping away with anger the few tears that escaped her eyes.

"Life isn't fair. Life is sometimes about being the bigger person and going toward the one who is in pain, no matter how much we are in pain ourselves. Helping others is sometimes how we heal ourselves. I know you would give anything to remember your Mom, but try to put yourself in your father's shoes. He has the memories. Sometimes memories are more painful than a blank space."

Ana sniffled, still looking at the entrance, and Christian knew that she was fighting between her wounded ego, and her desire to know more about her mother. After all, Raymond had shut her down for more than fifteen years, and no matter how forgiving Ana could be, she was still only human.

"I'm not trying to justify your father's actions, Ana. I'm trying to give you the tools to get what you want the most in life. You just have to make the first step. For both your sakes."

"But … what do I tell him? He's not expecting to see me?" She asked with a small voice, her leg shaking with nerves.

"You tell him the truth. You tell him that you wanted to pay a visit to your mother because we both know that deep down, you wanted it."

"And what if he sends me away?" She insisted, turning her head to Christian and showing how scared she was at that possibility. He gently smiled to her, and assured her,

"He wouldn't dare do that to the memory of your mother. Not on her grave, not on the anniversary of her death."

If there was one thing he was sure of, it was that. Raymond was a loyal man, and though he did not know him at that period of time, he could only guess that he had been a loyal man to his wife as well. He doubted that Raymond would dare insult the memory of the wife he still loved on her tombstone by refusing to talk to their daughter.

Ana gave him a sad smile, though her eyes were still teary, and Christian gave her a pack of tissues before leaning over and opening the passenger door. She took a deep breath and pecked his lips before leaving the car and walking inside the cemetery. And as she did so, Christian couldn't help but think of the consequences this little gesture could have on him if Raymond were to find out that he was the one who got Ana there in the first place. But as he drove away, he realised that … he didn't care, as long as it gave the two Steele some peace of mind.

.

.

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

‼️PLEASE DON'T BE A SILENT READER AND LEAVE A REVIEW

IT REALLY DOES HELP‼️

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚

💚 I know you guys wanted a longer chapter, but it is an emotional one, and I can't stretch it out, or cut it somewhere else ...

💚And as I said, though it seems to drag, Raymond is not the issue at the moment. try to understand why Ana doesn't want him to know ... And the, read between the lines of what Christian has been saying for chapters ... It's all cryptic, but you'll understand, haha.

~ Anyway, question time:

💚What did you think of Christian's gesture for both Ana and Raymond?

💚What did you think of this chapter overall? And what do you think will happen next?

💚What was your favourite part?

💚Anyway, E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, everything else is mine.

Love, Mina💚💚💚