"For he himself hath said it," sang Seahawke proudly, "And it's greatly to his credit! That he is an Etherrriaaan, He remains an Eeeheethehearearer-REEEEE-YAAAAN! I am, I am!"
Seahawke gave a large bow from his position standing on top of Double Trouble's couch and smiled at the sound of their polite golf clap.
"Thank you! Thank you," cheered Seahawke before he quickly leapt into a lying position on the couch, "So how would you describe my stunning performance?"
"Well... stunning is a word I could use," Double Trouble critiqued, "I must admit that when I asked you to bring a monologue to try out today, I definitely didn't expect to see a one man rendition of the entire score from the HMS Manticore. And you certainly have skill when it comes to singing. I just wonder if may not have been... challenging enough for your ability to get into character. You wanted me to teach you what it takes to be an actor after all."
"Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm," hummed Seahawke as he nodded in interest.
"Tell me," demanded Double Trouble, "Are there any characters in any kind of fiction you wanted to try out?"
"Well, you've sort of put me on the spot with that one," Seahawke said, stroking his chin in thought, "Perhaps I could do a number from the Pirates of Plumeria for you?"
"No more singing!" ordered Double Trouble in a panic, taking Seahawke by surprise.
Double Trouble closed their eyes and took in a deep breath to calm down.
"I'm sorry, what I meant to say was we need to move on to something different in order to get a better idea of what you're capable of right now," Double Trouble explained, "How about we try some impressions? Any friends or family that you know well enough that you want to try impersonating?"
Seahawke pointed his finger upward and opened his mouth to speak.
"Apart from Mermista," Double Trouble added.
Seahawke closed his mouth, curled his finger and frowned in disappointment.
"Well..." Seahawke thought aloud, "The Princess Scorpia and I have been swapping old war stories as of late. Don't tell the other princesses but we sort of became pen pals after this one time her, me and Adora were stuck inside a habitation dome in the middle of the frozen wastes of the Northern reach. Just two old soldiers from opposite sides of the war and our own young hero who was flying high as a kite on... something. Adora never did tell me what it was she took to make her so loopy."
"Okay, fine..." Double Trouble interjected with a hint of frustration, "Scorpia will do. Now I take it you've been reading the Mer-Mysteries series? What's the last book you've read?"
"Oh, well..." Seahawke recollected, "I'm just in the middle of re-reading 'The Heartbroken Dolphin' for, what is it? The seventh time... I think... I like parts concerning the Bosun's secret affair with the Pirate Captain."
"Okay..." Double Trouble said as they dug out their own copy of the relevant book from their bag, "Yesss, I can work with this. I'm going to do a scene with you, I'll play the Captain and you play the Bosun but as Scorpia. Does that make sense to you?"
"So I'll be saying the Bosun's lines..." Seahawke translated, "But as if it was Scorpia saying them."
"Precisely," Double Trouble said, thumbing through the book quickly before giving it to Seahawke, "Here we go. We'll start at page 109, from 'How did you get onboard?'. Whenever you are ready."
"So..." Seahawke said nervously, "I just read the lines as I think Scorpia would."
"That's right," Double Trouble clarified.
"And you're going to be the Pirate Captain..." Seahawke continued, reading over his lines, "But *who* are you going to be?"
"Well, Captain Hunter..." Double Trouble answered, "Who else?"
"It's just..." Seahawke stuttered, "I think it might be easier for me to get into character if I had a better idea who Scorpia would be talking to."
"Okay... how about..." Double Trouble thought aloud as they began transforming, "Catra?"
"Ah, yes, that makes sense!" Seahawke said, quickly regaining his usual confidence, "So I'll just begin then?"
"Whenever you're ready," Catra encouraged.
Seahawke cleared his throat, closed the book, and passed it back to Catra.
"Oh, my stars," Seahawke exclaimed, "Captain Hunter, however did you manage to get aboard my ship, perchance?"
"Okay, Seahawke," said Catra, "Just need to pause right there. I want you to say the lines how you think Scorpia would say them."
"But I'm going by precisely what it says in the book," Seahawke argued.
"Exactly, and that's the problem," Catra explained, "Do you think Scorpia would ever say 'perchance'? Or 'oh, my stars'? Or 'however did you manage'?"
"She would if she was playing the Bosun in a play," Seahawke retorted.
"But not if she *was* the Bosun," Catra shot back, "You don't have to go word for word what it says in the book. I don't want to see how well you memorize lines. I want to see how you feel the character your playing."
"Okay, I think I've got it," said Seahawke, closing his eyes and taking in another deep breath, "Did you want me to try again?"
"Yes, from the beginning," Catra instructed, opening the book in front of them, "Whenever you are ready."
Seahawke cleared his throat again and opened his eyes.
"Good Morning, Inspector Pour Row," Seahawke began, getting up from the couch to greet an invisible person, "Allow me to be the first to welcome you aboard our fine vessel. Captain Flotsam should be here any moment. We'll begin our tour below decks in the tummy of the ship. Let me know if this gets too technical for you."
"I meant from page 109," Catra interrupted, "Where we started last time."
"Ah, of course," Seahawke realized, "How silly of me. Ahem. Oh, my. Captain Hunter, how did you get aboard?"
"A scoundrel always has her ways, my dear," Catra answered in a sultry voice, reading aloud from the book, "So, where did you hide that stupid jewel? Is it still here somewhere?"
"Yes, well, funny story about that," Seahawke replied, cupping his fingers into false claws to scratch the back of his head, "So I sneak into the Captain's Quarters to steal the jewel from the safe like we both planned, when what do I find, but the Captain's dead body just lying at his desk. So now the Quarters is this big crime scene, which is a whole deal now until this Inspector guy finds out who did it. Say you didn't kill him, did you? Because that kinda ruins the whole plan if you did."
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," Catra whispered coyly as they approached Seahawke on the couch, "What's the matter? You knew what I was when we started this."
"I mean, I know you kill people for money," Seahawke answered, "That's what pirates do. But I thought you would be smart enough not to put us both in danger of being caught."
"I'm just messing with you," Catra teased, leaning over Seahawke to play with his mustache, "Besides, I thought you liked danger."
"Only when there's a reward that's worth the risk," Seahawke argued, pulling Catra on top of him on the couch, "So just to be clear you didn't kill the captain, right?"
"Pause!" ordered Catra sternly, flipping through the pages ahead as they straddled around Seahawke's waist like a mounted horse, "So it looks like the scene gets a little intimate here, so feel free to let me know if any of this gets too uncomfortable for you at any point, okay? We can adjust it however you want."
"Oh, of course!" Seahawke replied enthusiastically, holding onto Catra's own waist to keep them balanced on top of him, "Don't worry about me, though. I think I'm really starting to get the hang of this!"
"Good," said Catra, closing the book and tossing it behind them, "Just wanted to make sure we were all clear on how you felt about this. We can continue whenever your ready."
"Quite alright," Seahawke affirmed, , "So you didn't kill the captain, right?"
"Of course not," Catra giggled, lowering themself onto Seahawke's body, "But if I can't have the Heartbroken Dolphin tonight, maybe I'll just take you instead."
As Catra slowly drew their face closer to his, Seahawke tilted his head and reached up to lock his lips over theirs. The two actors closed their eyes while moaning playfully into each other's mouths before Catra lifted themself up slightly to breathe. After taking a momentary break, Catra laid back down on Seahawke to continue their makeout session.
"Be careful there, my brave... erm..." Seahawke warned, losing his focus on the drama teacher who was currently nibbling at his neck, "Uh, Line?"
"Wildcat..." Catra gasped between kisses, "Scorpia calls Catra 'Wildcat'."
"Be careful there, Wildcat," Seahawke repeated, cuddling up against his furry partner, "Don't forget there's still a murderer onboard. What would happen if someone saw you in my room? I mean, the Inspector could pop in at any second and shout-"
The session was interrupted by a loud bang as a Mermaid Princess wearing a trenchcoat and fedora burst through the office door and pointed a magnifying glass accusingly at the two actors making out on the couch.
"Nobody move!" Mermista shouted, a crack of thunder punctuating her entrance, "I've caught you red-handed!"
"Mermista!" Catra cried out in shock, reflexively turning back into Double Trouble, "I wasn't expecting you here so early! This isn't what it looks like!"
"Sure, it is!" Seahawke affirmed confidently, lifting Double Trouble off himself to stand up from the couch, "That is to say, it looks like we were doing very well in our very first scene together, right my sweet lillypad?"
"Look, I'm not here to talk about your drama lessons, Seahawke," Mermista explained, "Although I'm happy to see I'm not completely wasting my money on this new fad of yours. But no, I'm here to solve the mer-mystery of who put poison in Frosta's birthday cake! You!"
Another crack of thunder shook the room as Mermista pointed menacingly at Double Trouble.
"Me?" Double Trouble gulped, pointed at themself nervously.
"Tell me everything you did on the night of the murder," Mermista ordered.
~*~
DT's Notes
Seahawke, Lesson 1
-Asked Seahawke to bring a monologue to read today, so I'd have a better idea of what skill level he's at
-I don't think Seahawke has fully understands what a monologue actually is
-Had to improvise to salvage this session, fortunately I was able to exploit our common interest in trashy romance novels
-Romantic scenes and musicals definitely play to Seahawke's strengths
-I may have gotten a little too into character to remain professionally objective... or not in character enough?
-Well, hopefully Seahawke got as much out of this experience as I did
-So I may have a thing for naively optimistic romantics with dependency issues
