My dear little broccolis 💚💚💚

💚 So remember that this pic is RATED M, and it is not only for the sexy times. Some dark moments will be approached in this story, and they can trigger some people. This is a fair warning to remind you that this story sets place in a dark world, which means it is bound to mountains dark themes.

Love, Mina 💚💚💚

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Chapter 42: The Past & The Future(4,6K)

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💚 So, just as a reminder for everyone, it has been said several times by several different characters that Ana is a spoilt child because her father never told her no. So of course, she won't change all of the sudden. Yes, she is spoilt, and act like it, but she doesn't even realise it. Also, try to remember what Kate told Christian on her wedding day …

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Jose's PoV

Jose was seeing with Raymond their plans to extract a young girl from an insidious strip clubs that were forcing the girls to give dances that were a little too private. Jose had established contact with her a few months ago, and after many private sessions where he earned her trust, she was finally ready to leave that awful place that pretended to be a work institution.

Still, the girl, Lydia, didn't want to quit the scene altogether. She liked to dance and liked, even more, the attention she got from her moves. She just didn't like the side activities that were happening at the strip club. Jose had promised her an apartment (one on the same floor where Mia lived), as well as to help her find a job where she could do what she loved; and as he was letting Raymond know of Lydia's predilections, his boss proposed that she would dance in Katherine's club.

Usually, Jose would be working those details with Elena, but she and Eamon had gone to Bora-Bora to celebrate their wedding anniversary. After settling on everything that would be needed for the new girl, Jose gathered his stuff, hoping to catch Ethan by surprise in his apartment so they could have lunch together, but Raymond's serious voice stopped him while he was in the middle of getting up,

"I'd like to ask you something that could be qualified as personal, Jose."

Immediately, Jose thought of this secret he was holding for Christian and cursed the man. He knew that it had always been a matter of time before Raymond found out what was happening between his precious daughter, and his second in command. Raymond Steele always knew everything!

And maybe Christian could get away with murder in Raymond's eyes. Actually, he already did several times, Eric Lincoln just being one example amongst others. But Christian would certainly not get away with fucking with Anastasia Steele. And even less for falling in love with her. Jose had seen how Raymond always went to Ana's past boyfriends when he estimated the relationships went for too long, and how he all made them break up with her. Though he never knew if it was because Raymond was afraid of being alone without his daughter, or if it was because he was judging that his daughter's suitors weren't good enough for her.

In both cases, Christian was screwed. If it was the first option, he was definitely stealing Ana form her father, making her love another man that wasn't him. If it was the second, no matter how much Raymond liked Christian, Jose doubted that the crime lord deemed another criminal worth his daughter. Ana was a snowflake, too pure for the world that Raymond had built around himself, and that was why he had always done his best to protect his daughter from it.

But still, no matter what, Jose knew that he wouldn't betray Christian. Even if Raymond asked a direct question, he was going to do his best to protect his best friend and his secret. He watched Raymond, waiting for him to drop the fateful question and realising suddenly that no matter what, his allegiance didn't go to the man who helped him out of a hellhole, but to the man he considered to be his brother.

"Feel free not to answer," Raymond quietly said, his face unreadable, and Jose nodded, sure that he would use that option.

"Does Christian know about your relationship with my Godson?"

This had the merit to literally shock Jose. Not much because Raymond revealed that he was aware of Ethan's and his relationship, but more because he had the stupidity of thinking that his own couple would get passed Raymond's radar. He had been going on and on at Christian for keeping his relationship a secret from Raymond when he had been doing the exact same thing. Still, he wondered for how long had Raymond known about him and Ethan.

"Christian is my best friend," He eluded, not wanting to give a direct answer that could put Christian in troubles. He didn't know if Raymond already had a conversation about this with Christian, but he knew that Christian would try to cover his tracks by being as evasive as possible. So he didn't want to say something that could be wrongly interpreted and contradict what Christian might have already said.

Still, a part of him felt weird talking about him and Ethan as a couple to Raymond before doing it to Ethan's parents. Ever since he came clean about his past and feelings to Ethan two months earlier, their relationship had bloomed. He had met the Kavanagh siblings as Ethan's official boyfriend, he practically lived with Ethan, and they were even talking about getting a dog together. But he was still to meet Elena and Eamon as their son's partner.

Strangely enough, it was Ethan who would always come up with excuses to not introduce them. Lately, it was more often than not work, but Jose couldn't really blame him, because he had been working more as well with that whole Lydia situation. If he were honest with himself, Jose wasn't that eager to meet Elena outside their professional relationship. Mostly because he was afraid that she would think that he was beneath her son.

After all, she was one of the only two people alive who knew everything there was to know about his sordid past, the other person is his shrink. Elena had been the first person he had opened up to. She was the one who brought him to a specialist and stayed with him in his early sessions because he wasn't comfortable staying alone with a man. She was the one who took him to the doctor when he grew concerned of having contracted an STD. she was the one who took over his education when Carla died, and who forced him to keep studying when maths and science became too hard for him. She knew him at his lowest, she knew how screwed up he had been, and she knew that he could be a stain in her son's pristine life.

"I know he is," Raymond said with a condescending tone before letting a small silence grow. then, he let Jose know, "Ethan came to see me a week ago, when his parents left for Bora-Bora, and he asked me something that I was not expecting from him."

Jose furrowed his brows, wondering what could actually surprise a man like Raymond. Raymond answered before he could even ask, "He asked about his mother…"

And finally, Jose understood why Ethan had been avoiding getting his parents in the same room as him. He must have made a connection between Mrs Kavanagh and him, and the assumptions that he made must not have been pretty ones. After all, who wanted to think of their mother in such a way? A mother is the purest image one could have. She was the one who had had your back since before you were born, the one who bared your tears, the one who nursed you back to health, the one who praised your smallest achievements. Who would ever want to have that image tarnished? Who would ever want to think that something that terrible could have happened to their mother in her past?

Jose stared at Raymond, not saying a word. "He also mentioned that he first went to Christian since Christian is an impartial party that would have 'no reason to lie to him'. And apparently, Christian redirected him to me. But Christian never disclosed that little conversation he had with my Godson, and that got me wondering as to why …"

"Christian is loyal to you," Jose simply said, not liking the fact that their boss was questioning Christian's loyalty to him when he was the most faithful person he had ever known. Even with that whole Ana situation, Jose knew that Christian never directly lied to Raymond, and more than once pushed Ana toward her father to mend their relationship.

Still, he played a card that he knew Raymond wouldn't be able to turn on him, "But you better than anyone know that loyalty doesn't mean full disclosure."

"What do you mean?"

"You are loyal to your daughter," Jose said, his tone full of innuendos, and Raymond nodded, seeing his point.

Though Raymond never mentioned to Jose what happened to Mike, Jose also knew that he never even mentioned the boy to Ana after his 'disappearance'. He never lied to her straight to her face, but he always avoided the topic of her brother. It was Christian who came clean to Ana and told her that she was wishing for the return of a dead man, all the while keeping Raymond's secret from her.

"So, are you telling me that I should let slip a few white lies?" Raymond asked, his eyes hard on Jose as he waited for his answer. It was a look that Jose had come to learn and hate. Every time Raymond had looked at someone like that while saying something, he knew that the question was a test, and that passing it was crucial.

"I think you should follow your guts, without completely dismissing your reason."

Raymond nodded, and Jose took it as his cue to leave, determined to pay a visit to Christian before going to see Ethan. He got back up and put all his papers in his bag.

"Perhaps you should consider talking to Ethan. I don't think my edulcorated version of what happened to Elena in her youth was convincing enough. It seems to me that he wasn't satisfied with what he heard."

Jose didn't say a thing, a part of him understanding exactly how Ethan felt knowing that no matter what, this was something that Raymond would never be able to understand. No matter how much he loved and cared for Elena, she wasn't his mother. At best, she was his sister. Raymond couldn't understand how devastating it felt when something so tragic happened to your mother, especially when there was nothing you could do about it. Raymond got his opportunity to ket his anger out, and got his revenge, Jose had the same opportunity thanks to Christian, but Ethan would never be able to get that.

"I told Elena about my conversation with Ethan. And I'm telling you, now. I only mentioned with very light words what transpired with her uncle. Nothing more. I think that if Ethan wants to know more, it should be from Elena."

"This is not my story to share," Jose agreed, having never even considered telling Ethan about what Elena had told him concerning her past. "And I doubt Ethan would even think of asking me. That's why he went to Christian, and then to you."

Raymond nodded, then giving his attention to his computer, and Jose made his way out of his boss's office. But before opening the door, a question came to him, "How long have you know?"

"To be honest, not that long. It was shortly after Christian's 'death'."

This ought to surprise Jose. Raymond didn't know everything after all. It had been almost two years since Jose and he were together, and Raymond had only known for three months. There was hope yet for Christian and Ana.

"Did you tell Elena?" He couldn't help but ask.

"Like you said, this isn't my story to share."

"So is this why you asked me and not Christian? Because this isn't his story to share?"

Raymond seemed to think about it, before looking at Jose with that particular way he disliked so much, "Partly. You have to know that Christian is a much better liar than you. And no matter how loyal he is to me, a boss can't compare to a brother. He protected you when I was about to have Ethan followed after a disturbing conversation with Eamon, and I have no doubts that he would have done it all over again if I had asked him direct questions about you."

Jose rose an eyebrow, surprised that Raymond had been able to read into the depth of Christian's and his relationship. Though most people knew that they were close, he doubted anyone really knew how close they were. Like Raymond said, they were brothers. But then again …

"You underestimate his loyalty to you."

"Oh, believe me, I don't. I just know that some loyalties are stronger than others. There are some things that even I can't come between. And love is one of them."

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Jose's PoV

After his conversation with Raymond, Jose completely forgo his plans to surprise Ethan for lunch and went directly to Christian's apartment to let him know what just happened. He had this nasty feeling that Raymond was starting to second-guess Christian's loyalty, and Christian ought to do something about it.

He let himself inside Christian's flat, recalling last minute that Christian had texted him early in the morning to let him know that he was going to Washington to handle some distribution problems. He was about to turn back on his feet immediately when he saw Ana sitting on the couch and looking at him with big blue eyes.

"Oh. I thought you would be Christian," He said, scratching his head suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Ever since the incident in Macau, he had barely seen Ana, especially after she had gotten her own car and used every excuse in the world to drive around by herself.

"Same here," She replied, probably as uncomfortable as him.

For a little while, an awkwardness grew between them. Though he had known since the beginning about her relationship with his best friend, he had never talked to her about it, except when he thought Christian was dead. And even that moment didn't end well. He knew that, as Christian's best friend, and only person in his entourage aware of the situation, he should try to be nice with the girl, but he couldn't.

Though he appreciated her as a person and thought she was a sweet girl, a part of him resented her for putting Christian in the situation he was at the moment. If it wasn't for her promise, Christian would have come clean to Raymond a long time ago. And her latest stunt the past month where she almost broke up with him because he simply wanted to take her out on a freaking date did nothing but put salt in the wound. So yeah, Jose did not like Ana as Christian's girlfriend. But he kept it for himself, especially after it became evident that Christian was head over the heels for the girl.

"Well, I should go. I'll call Christian later on," He said, but before turning and leaving the flat all to Ana, he caught a glimpse of what she was doing. On the coffee table before her were displayed papers and pictures, but that wasn't what retained Jose's attention. It was the beige file with written on it 'Federal Bureau of Investigation' that put him on alert.

"What is that?" He asked rather coldly, not really caring of how rude he could sound at that moment. He walked closer, and so Christian's family name written on it, with two first names. Male and female.

"I fished it out of the trash bin. It's about Christian's parents," Ana said, confusing Jose more than giving him answers.

Christian never talked about his parents. In fact, he only mentioned once that his parents abandoned him at a young age, and that he had stopped caring about them and their abandonment around the time he switched to his third foster house. So it made no sense for him to suddenly going around looking for his parents. Even more by asking the FBI to do it for him, when Luke could probably do that shit with his eyes closed.

Jose glanced at the bin, understanding even less why Christian would throw away a file he had concocted. He felt Ana follow his gaze, and she shifted a little on her seat, before she justified herself, "When I woke up this morning, Christian was gone for his business trip, and this was in the bin. I didn't mean to look for it, but when I was about to throw the yoghurt, the name on the file caught my eyes, and …"

She didn't finish, but she didn't have to. Jose figured that he would have probably done the same. He wouldn't be snooping around, but he would be curious as to what Christian threw in the trash. He was torn away by his thoughts by Ana telling him,

"They're alive. Christian's parents. they live here, in New York. They're in Brooklyn."

"Christian wouldn't do a search on his parents," Jose finally said, because this was the thing bothering him. Christian had made peace with his parents being a part of his past he didn't want to look back on.

"Well, I certainly didn't do it, and yet the file is here," Ana snapped, apparently annoyed to be suspected by Jose.

Jose sighed, trying to understand when his eyes fell on the beige file once again. He recalled Christian lightly mentioning that the FBI was trying to get to Raymond through him, and it finally became clear. This was the carrot they gave him. Christian didn't look for his parents, they were shoved down his throat, in the hope that he would cooperate afterwards.

"Christian wouldn't like you reading something that he disregarded to the trash," He let Ana know, his voice slightly colder than he intended.

Ana looked down on her knees, blushing, though she still said with a small voice, "Maybe, but he would like to have his parents back."

"I'm not sure about that," He countered.

"He's just too proud to admit it."

Jose didn't reply anything to that, though he was sceptical. He knew that Christian was a proud man, but he also knew that he was a man who didn't look back on his past, and who didn't forgive betrayal. And abandoning your child was the ultimate betrayal in Christian's eyes.

Ana sighed a little, before bringing her knees to her chest and telling Jose something he wasn't aware of, "Last month, Christian gave me the thing I wanted the most in this world. And I wasn't even aware that I wanted it so badly. He made me talk to my Dad about my mother. He gave me back my Mom, and I will never be able to thank him enough for that. But … what if I give him back his parents as well? I mean, wouldn't you give anything to see at least one of your parents again?"

Jose could see where she was coming from. She actually had a valid and solid point. He would trade everything he held dear in this world just to see his mother again. Even if it was for five minutes.

"Christian is just too proud to take the first step," She said with a quiet and reasoning voice, and though Jose was leaning toward her argument, there was still a huge red flag. He could see where Ana was going with this, and he knew that no matter the outcome, Christian wouldn't like it at all.

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't invite them over here. Like you said, Christian is a proud man, and he won't take too kindly having them in his home. No matter what may come afterwards."

Ana seemed to think about it before she grabbed a picture and showed it to Jose. He took it, sitting next to her on the sofa, and analysing the photo. It was a family picture, where the three members were smiling at the camera. Christian must have been three, maybe four, wearing overalls whose knees were covert with dirt and grass. He was throwing in the air patches of grass, his mouth open with joy, and his chubby cheeks sticking out of his face. His father on his left was looking straight at the camera, looking nothing like Christian, if it weren't for his eyes and his hair colour. Christian got his good looks from his mother. His father might be average, but his mother was a babe. She was a female version of Christian, all his features softened by her delicate feminine features.

"Christian can say whatever he wants, but this is love I'm seeing in these pictures, Jose," Ana said, and Jose couldn't agree more. The family he saw in this picture didn't look like one where the parents would abandon their child, who would become a well known and fearsome criminal.

"How could he try to throw the only pictures of his childhood away?" Ana wondered out loud, probably thinking to herself.

"It is most likely that he didn't read the thing, Ana," he absentmindedly said, looking at the other pictures through the diverse papers. If this was the FBI's carrot, Christian probably threw away the file as soon as he got home.

Jose let his eyes wander from happy picture to happy picture, the names Grace and Carrick sticking out every now and then from the papers displayed on the table, but suddenly, he froze, and retrieved a paper from the pile. He read over it, dreading the capitals WITSEC and what it meant. His first thoughts went to Raymond. What was he playing at? It was very unlikely that Raymond didn't do research on Christian's parents, no matter what Christian thought on the matter. So why did he play with fire like that?

This ought to calm Jose and his hopes to reunite Christian with his parents through Ana. This was something that ought to be done very carefully. "I know that you want to help Christian, but … maybe you should let him deal with this on his own terms," He said, keeping the paper in his hand.

"Well, him dealing with this means throwing away the only thing that can help him contact his parents. This isn't dealing, this is avoiding."

"There are things that people don't want to confront, Ana. You know that better than anyone."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked with her eyes suspiciously squinted at him.

"You don't want to confront your father about Christian!" He snapped, almost regretting instantly when he saw tears gather in her eyes. She looked away, bringing once again her knees to her chest before she rested her chin on her knees.

"If I tell you something, can you not repeat Christian?"

Jose hesitated, but in the end, he agreed. He knew that Christian was bothered by the ban that Ana had put on their relationship, and maybe talking to her would give him more intel of what Christian should do so she would lift that ban.

"I'm not stupid. I know that Dad cares for Christian. I know he cares a lot for him. Christian appeared around the time Mike disappeared, and Dad had a whole to feel in his heart. He never replaced Mom, but he replaced Mike. And I know that Christian cares enormously for Dad. When he talks about Dad, I can tell that he admires him. But they are both so stubborn.

If Christian and I go public, what is going to happen to them? Dad doesn't take well betrayal, and though I know he cares for Christian too much to do something drastic like kill him, he will come between us. And I will have to choose to which I will have to stand by. I don't want to choose between my Dad and Christian. I don't want to have to remove from my life one, to be with the other."

Jose looked at Ana, her eyes teary, but not shedding a single tear. He had to admit that he never really thought of how she could feel in this situation, but now that it was becoming apparent to him that she loved Christian as well, he could understand why she would delay to the most the moment when she would have to come out to her father. In truth, the fact that she wasn't considering siding immediately with her father proved to Jose that she loved Christian more than she knew. Ana adored her father, so much that he heard her tell her best friend about renouncing her dreams of moving out of the mansion, not wanting to leave her father alone. And yet, she was considering having t chose between him and Christian.

Still, there was still the very thin possibility that Raymond would not care, after all, like he did not care about Ethan and him. "And what if things turn out for the better?"

"What if they don't?" She immediately retorted. "I know that it's not fair to Dad because I'm lying to him about where I go and what I do. And I know it's not fair to Christian because he has to hide when it's not in his nature. But … I don't want to risk losing one of them. Or worse, both of them.."

"Why don't you just tell Christian? I'm sure he'd like this explanation better than 'I don't want Dad to know'."

"Because I know what he's going to say. He's going to be sweet, and nice, and gentle, and it won't change anything. No matter how much he'll say he'll stand by me, I can't know for sure that this will still be true when Dad knows. I've thought about it a thousand times. Either they decided to never speak to one another, making me chose between them, and forcing me to destroy the life of the other. Either Christian pushes me toward Dad to keep him happy, and therefore, making me second in his life. I think this would be the worst case … Christian putting my father first, and my feelings and opinions second …"

Jose was at a loss for words. Ana was right, no matter what Christian said, she would never be sure before the truth was out. And like any self-preserving person, she was delaying that moment as much as she could. He couldn't blame her. But he couldn't help but feel that if she shared her insecurities with Christian, it would calm his own,

"I think you should tell him what you just told me. Because right now, all he sees is that he's your dirty little secret. And though he doesn't say anything about it, it is eating him inside."

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‼️PLEASE DON'T BE A SILENT READER AND LEAVE A REVIEW

IT REALLY DOES HELP‼️

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💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚

💚Also, please take note that Ana never mentions regretting getting with Christian. she had several opportunities to say that she should never have had sex with Christian, or that she shouldn't have made a deal with him, to begin with, but she doesn't. Because, no matter what, she doesn't regret it … yet

💚So, it is on purpose that I did not explain the capitals. Either you already know what it is, either you are too impatient and you search on the internet, either you are a nice reader, and you wait for the story to explain it to you 😉. I hope you will go for the latter one.

~ Anyway, question time:

💚 What did you think of Raymond's and Jose's discussion?

💚 How about Ana's and Jose's?

💚 How about this whole thing about Christian's parents? How do you think he will react?

💚What did you think of this chapter overall? And what do you think will happen next?

💚What was your favourite part?

💚Anyway, E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, everything else is mine.

Love, Mina💚💚💚