Kurt woke up on his stomach, one arm slung over Blaine's chest, who was tracing patterns absentmindedly on Kurt's bare back. He hummed in appreciation at the feel and snuggled in closer to Blaine.
"How long have you been awake?" he whispered into the dimly lit room.
With the curtain closed he had no way of knowing what time it was, he couldn't even remember where in the world his phone was.
Blaine kissed the top of his head before he spoke, "A little while. I didn't want to wake you. I figured you needed your rest."
"Are you hungry?" Kurt asked.
"Ready to go again?" Blaine teased.
In retaliation for the remark, Kurt rolled onto his side and started tickling Blaine with his free hand. "That wasn't what I was talking about and you know it."
Blaine laughed and captured Kurt's hand with his. He brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. First on the tips of each finger.
"I. Know. What. You. Meant."
And then the palm.
"But." He moved down and kissed Kurt's wrist.
"Kurt?"
Then it hit him what Blaine must have seen there. He tried to pull his hand away, but Blaine's grip was strong. Instead he sat up and looked away from Blaine.
"It's nothing."
Blaine sat up as well and reached for Kurt's other hand. He pulled it out of reach.
Instead, Blaine gently turned Kurt's face to look at him. Kurt closed his eyes. He wasn't ready to see the disappointment he knew he would find there.
"Kurt, when- please talk to me." Blaine pleaded, sounding hurt.
"It was a long time ago."
Blaine kissed his cheek, "Talk to me."
"I told you before I don't want you to be my therapist." Kurt growled snatching his hand from Blaine's.
He looked at Blaine, ready to be mad, ready to fight. Blaine just looked sad.
"I love you, Kurt. I want to know everything about you, the good and the bad. Please don't shut me out."
Kurt felt so small. "I'm not. I won't. It's- It's not something I talk about." He sighed. "Let me be the little spoon? I can't do it if I look at you."
Blaine nodded, laying down and opening his arms to Kurt. Kurt snuggled his back into Blaine's body letting his warmth envelop him. Blaine pulled up the blanket, shielding them from the world.
"I was 17. High school was bad. Glee club wasn't even the bottom of the totem pole, it was the ground underneath it. The jocks made it their mission to make all our lives hell, but after I came out, they mainly focused on me." Kurt paused and then felt gentle kisses on the back of his neck. The simple touch was enough to urge Kurt on.
"This one kid made it his mission to come after me whenever he saw me. It was constant but no one ever did anything to make it stop. One day I tried to stand up for myself. I followed him into the locker room and ripped him a new one. He pinned me against the locker and kissed me."
"Kurt." Blaine breathed. He gripped Kurt tighter to him.
"I fought him off before anything else could happen. But then he started threatening my life. I didn't think it could get worse but it did. He was relentless. The other guys in glee tried to stop it but nothing worked. It all came to a head just before my dad and Carole's wedding. My dad saw something and asked me about it. He tried to get my step brother Finn to tell him what was going on. I told him about the death threats."
"Did they do anything?" Blaine whispered against Kurt's head.
Kurt nodded, "We went to the principal and she expelled him. But then right after my parents left for their honeymoon, Sylvester called me into her office and told me that the school board overturned his expulsion. All I could think about was how it was going to start again and I couldn't face it, I couldn't keep living like that."
Tears burned at his eyes as he continued. "I left school and went home. I downed a couple of my dad's beers and then went to his room. That was where he kept my mom's old dresser. It still smelled of her perfume. I laid some blankets down on the floor of the closet next to it. I remember wanting to be close to her one last time. I took a razor-"
Blaine kissed his shoulder as it shook with silent tears.
"Finn found me. He was worried about me when I didn't show up for glee club. I tried to fight him off but he was so much bigger than me and I was weak. I spent weeks in the hospital, in the psych ward."
Kurt gave a humorless laugh. "The bullies stopped after that. Karofsky couldn't even look at me. He tried to apologize later but- I mean- I know he was scared that I would out him, but that was no excuse for how he behaved."
Kurt rolled over and looked deep in Blaine's eyes. "I'm so much better now. Besides my slip up in Detroit, I haven't had anything close to that since."
"That was what you were dealing with? I wish you had said something." Blaine said, cupping Kurt's cheek.
"I just dwelled on the past, the pain I was in then and tried to use it in the show but I wasn't even close to where I was then."
Blaine kissed him sweetly. "I am so glad you are here."
They laid in bed trading lazy kisses taking solace in the other for a while before getting up to find something to eat. They took turns showering, knowing in the end it would be quicker than sharing. While Blaine showered, Kurt opened his closet door. It was almost overwhelming the vast number of options available to him after living out of one suitcase. He giddily pieced an outfit together.
He showered quickly but took the time to really style his hair. He felt free after sharing his past with Blaine. He didn't think he would but it helped knowing Blaine didn't judge him. He loves me, Kurt thought, smiling to himself in the mirror.
When Kurt emerged, Blaine looked at him with wide eyes. Kurt knew he looked different than Blaine normally saw him, but he was surprised by his reaction.
"Meet Kurt Hummel when he gets to be himself with no trace of Evan Hansen to be found." Kurt laughed.
Blaine pulled him into a lustful kiss. He pulled back and said, "Wonderful to finally see you Mr. Hummel."
Kurt playfully hit Blaine's shoulder, "Come on let's find food."
They walked the block around Kurt's apartment scoping out what was around. Without even having to cross the street they found a health food store, Chinese, Egyptian, Indoniesian, Pizza, BBQ, and a Steakhouse. After walking the block, they decided on Siri Thai just across the street from Kurt building.
They sat at Kurt's little table and ate together.
"So where is Finn?" Blaine asked before taking another bite.
Kurt froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. He lowered his fork. It almost felt like a punch to the gut. How could Blaine not know? Kurt shook his head trying to clear it.
"He died, not long after I moved to New York. A horrible accident. It's one of the reasons my parents ended up moving."
"Oh god, I am so sorry." Blaine exclaimed, grabbing his hand.
Kurt smiled sadly, "You didn't know. I just- I forget that people don't know. I just can't believe I told you all about my mom, but I never mentioned Finn."
As they continued their meal, Kurt regalled Blaine with stories of Finn Hudson.
Once they finished eating, Blaine excused himself to run to his apartment to pick up clothes for the next day. When he was gone Kurt wandered his apartment not sure what to do with himself. It had been so long since he had had so much free time and in a city he knew so well. He opened each door again, hoping there would be something he could do, but Carole had done an excellent job of organizing things. He toyed with the idea of unpacking his suitcase, but he hoped Blaine would be back before he could finish. He did open the drawer to the filing cabinet and set the lube and condoms in there. Later, he promised himself he would buy a nice decorative box to put them in instead. It hadn't even been 30 mins since Blaine left, before there was a knock on the door.
He pulled the door open, surprised to see Blaine standing there with a garment bag, satchel and a huge grin on his face.
"My apartment is only about a 10 min walk from here."
Kurt returned his smile. "I knew logically we had to be near each other, I mean Hell's Kitchen and The Garment District are close. Honestly I chose it because the layout was amazing, and it is only a 9 minute walk down 45th to get to the Music Box."
"Can I hang my suit up?" Blaine asked, raising the garment bag.
Once Blaine's suit was hung in Kurt's closet, his satchel on the floor underneath. They settled in on the couch and cuddled up watching a movie. Kurt relished in the simplicity of having Blaine leaning against his chest, their legs tangled as they watched the story unfold on the screen.
They cooked dinner together in the small kitchen as music played from Kurt's TV. He giggled at Blaine's exuberant dance moves as he moved around the space chopping vegetables. Blaine sang along with abandon and it was the sweetest sound Kurt could ever recall. He laughed with the joy of it.
"Hey we can't all be Broadway bound," Blaine pouted.
Kurt kissed the pout away, leaving Blaine breathless. "Who needs Broadway, you are my star." He whispered.
As they sat eating, Blaine gave him a serious look. "I was thinking earlier, and you can say no if you want. No pressure at all, but- How would you feel about coming and speaking at my groups sometime? Telling your story? I think it could help a lot of my kids."
Kurt put down his fork, a knot forming in his stomach. "I don't know. It's personal."
"Just think about it, that is all I ask." Blaine said, taking his hand. "I would never ask you to do something that you are uncomfortable with. Those kids, I think it would help them to know that someone else has felt that way and come out better and stronger."
"They have you," Kurt deflected.
Blaine shrugged, "I don't really talk about myself in group. I don't even know if most of them realize I'm gay. My experience was completely different. I was sheltered at a private school with a strict no bullying policy."
Kurt gave him a searching look for a minute and then resolved himself, "I will come talk to them, if you introduce me as your boyfriend. Do you know how much it would have meant to me to have a therapist who I knew was gay? I'm not saying tell them your life story, but at least in a subtle way let them know. Plus I think that it will help them know that they can be loved even if they have a hard time loving themselves."
Blaine stared at him for a moment before smiling, "Deal. maybe next week we can combine the groups so you only have to tell it once. I will check with them this week. Does that work?"
Kurt nodded, picked up his fork and began eating with gusto. Suddenly the idea of helping kids with his own story seemed like the best idea ever.
Dinner finished, they stood side by side washing and drying the dishes. As Kurt handed Blaine the last cup, he accidentally on purpose splashed water all down his front. He gave Blaine a mischievous grin saying "oops"
Blaine gasped and set the cup on the counter. Kurt could see the revenge in his eyes and took off down the hall Blaine hot on his heels. He had just made it into the bedroom and was turning to close the door when arms encircled his waist. Kurt abruptly turned around laughing.
"Why in the world would you do that?" Blaine laughed.
"So I could do this," Kurt said before taking Blaine's shirt in his hand and removing it.
Before Blaine could say a word, Kurt kissed him, nipping at his lip.
"You don't need an excuse to do that." he sighed when Kurt started nibbling his way down Blaine's neck.
Kurt traced his tongue around Blaine's nipple, blew air on it and then whispered, "I know, but it was fun."
He pushed back until Blaine was against the wall. He took his time kissing his chest, swatting Blaine's hands away when he tried to touch him. He inched his way down Blaine's body. He knelt at his feet, and slowly unfastened his pants and let them fall, pooling around his ankles. He learned every inch of Blaine he could before taking him in his mouth.
He looked up as he sucked Blaine's cock deep into his mouth, watching Blaine's head thump against the wall with a low moan. Kurt used his hands to trace the muscles up Blaine's legs before cupping his balls gently. He rolled them around in his hands as he continued to work his cock with his mouth. Kurt snaked his other hand behind Blaine. His finger traced lightly against Blaine's hole.
"Kurt-" Blaine begged.
Kurt pulled back, letting Blaine's dick slip from his lips, "Go lay down on the bed. I'll take care of you."
He watched as Blaine walked naked across the room, watching his muscles shift as he moved. He laid down on the bed, his eyes never leaving Kurt's form. Slowly Kurt began unbuttoning his shirt, Blaine palmed himself, his gaze never wavering.
Kurt let the shirt fall to the floor behind him. His hands went to the waist of his pants. He popped the buttons of the fly one by one. Feeling like a tease he turned his back to Blaine as he pushed the pants off his ass. He stood and used his feet to completely remove them. Kurt turned, his cock tenting the front of his underwear. He lazyly cupped himself, feeling the blood rushing underneath his palm seeing Blaine waiting for him. Languidly, Kurt rid himself of his last stitch of clothing.
Kurt walked slowly to the end of the bed. He reached forward and grabbed each of Blaine's legs, pulling Blaine to the edge of the bed. Blaine sat up in surprise. Kurt took the opportunity to kiss him before he could say a word. Blaine melted into the kiss, letting Kurt keep control.
Kurt pulled away and Blaine watched him as he walked to the cabinet and grabbed the lube and condom. He walked back to Blaine and with one hand pushed him back against the bed. He knelt once again, grabbed each of Blaine's feet, placing them spread on the bed.
First Kurt nosed the crease where Blaine's leg met his ass. As his hands reached up to spread his cheeks, Blaine took each knee in his hand, pulling them back, opening himself to Kurt. Kurt took the invitation readily. He licked a swipe up and over Blaine's hole who gave a surprised gasp at the feel.
"Oh god." He panted.
Kurt repeated the motion suddenly understanding why so many people found this so hot. He continued to lick at Blaine whose response made Kurt burn with desire. Finally, experimentally, Kurt probed his hole with his tongue. At first all he felt was resistance, and then he gave way, letting Kurt slip in. He swirled his tongue as he opened the bottle of lube.
Kurt sat back on his heels.
"I've never-" Blaine whined.
"Me neither, never wanted to until now." Kurt breathed.
He poured lube on his fingers, slowly circled them around Blaine's hole and then watched in amazement as one finger slipped in with ease.
"You are amazing, did you know that?" Kurt asked as he watched his finger fuck into Blaine's body with no resistence.
A long low groan was all the reply Blaine could give him.
Kurt pulled his finger out and slid two back in. He took longer to prepare Blaine than necessary, Blaine's body readily accepted him, but it was too fascinating to watch. Blaine was begging before Kurt gave in and let three fingers enter him.
Kurt nibbled Blaine's leg as he watched his fingers spread him ever wider, more open.
"Kurt, I love you but if I don't have you in my ass soon, I may die." Blaine moaned.
Only then did Kurt let himself feel the hot and heavy pulse of his cock as it dripped precum on his thigh. He stood, grabbed the condom and groaned at the feel as he rolled the condom down himself and applied more lube. Blaine was propped up on his elbows watching him. Kurt grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him into a frantic kiss.
He pulled back, took himself in his hand and slowly began to push in. He had to will himself not to come at the exquisite tightness and heat that was Blaine's body. He watched as Blaine arched his back as slowly he was filled with Kurt's length. It seemed like an eternity before Kurt was fully seated, Blaine was humming a low earthy sound. He watched as Blaine's chest rose and fell, his head lolling from side to side as Kurt made small circles with his hips. He could feel his shaft rubbing against the nub of nerves deep inside Blaine with every tiny movement.
Finally Blaine begged, "Please," a long low sound.
Only then did Kurt properly move. He placed one of Blaine's feet on his shoulder and began to make slow long deep thrusts. He wanted so desperately to make Blaine feel good, he took his time not worrying about his own release. "Harder," Blaine gulped.
Kurt thrust harder into Blaine's body, sparks shooting through him. He needed more, he needed to kiss Blaine to touch Blaine. He put a knee on the bed beside Blaine's ass, leaning forward to capture his lips. Blaine sat up as much as he could to meet him. Their mouths met in a sloppy uncoordinated kiss. Neither seemed to care. The change of angles seemed to be just what Blaine needed as his noises grew more desperate and insistent. Kurt nipped at his neck leaving a tiny mark behind. He stood up straight again. Blaine reached out his hand. Their hands clenched together, Kurt sped his movements as Blaine's cries became wilder and wilder. His back arched a beautiful bow, before he gave one finally shout. His cock twitched as it released its load, splattering his chest.
Seeing Blaine come so beautifully, Kurt let himself fully feel his own pleasure and with a cry of Blaine's name, Kurt came. He barely caught himself on the bed as his legs tried to give out on him.
Blaine was smiling sweetly and sleepily up at him. "I love you."
Kurt shared the smile with him. "I love you too. Let me clean you up."
Once they both were clean and everything was disposed of. Kurt crawled into bed.
"I get to be the little spoon tonight." Blaine whispered.
Kurt kissed him gently, "Anything you want, ever."
He pulled Blaine to his chest, pulled the covers over them and let sleep take them.
