A/N: I somehow managed to skip chapter 40...my apologies. I have now posted it.

After giving his mother what he deemed enough time to try voicing another question, he retreated to the kitchen and created a small meal for her and himself from the leftovers of the dinner he never ate the night before.

When he returned with her plate, she had finally formed words. "What happened?" She asked simply.

"Quite a lot, could you be more specific?"

Her brow furrowed. "How did you...die?"

"I was murdered."

She took a moment to let that sink in. "Who? Who killed you?"

"The Dark Lord and his bloody pet snake." He rubbed his neck, happy to find it still intact against his fingers.

"Language." She sighed in what he could only describe as relief. "I'm so glad you did not follow that ridiculous preachy man."

"Oh I did, fresh out of Hogwarts. Though I soon discovered what a mistake that was." He waved a hand like it was an everyday occurrence. "Switched sides."

"He...let you?"

Severus couldn't help but bark a laugh. "That would have been kind. No, I became a spy."

"...It took him almost twenty years to discover you?" She sounded impressed.

He couldn't help but swell with a bit of pride. "The Dark Lord was not...active that entire time. But, no, he never discovered me. He killed me while believing I was completely loyal to him. I was simply in the way; an obstacle in his climb to power. However, it was a deception, all a part of the grand plan. Never let it be said that Albus Dumbledore is any less cunning than a Slytherin."

Eileen frowned in thought again. "Albus Dumbledore...knowingly sent you to your death?"

Severus nodded. "Basically. Just after asking me to kill him to spare the soul of my godson. Nevermind informing me the child I swore to protect would be a necessary sacrifice as well. 'For the greater good' he would often say."

"Your godson had to be sacrificed?"

"No, another boy...A child of prophecy."

"This is very confusing." His mother rubbed her temples. "And I have a feeling there's a lot more to this than you're telling me."

"So much...I could write a book. Or seven."

She raised an eyebrow.

"You really want to know?"

"I do."

He sighed. "It might be easier to just show you. It should also make more sense in order, as opposed to explaining it backwards."

Severus took her plate and set it on the coffee table next to his then pulled out his wand. He handed it to her, curling her fingers around the handle when she seemed reluctant to take it. Silver sparks showered from the tip once she had a firm hold.

He sat next to her sideways so he was facing her.

Her hands trembled slightly. "Severus…"

"I trust I inherited my natural affinity for the mental arts from you?"

She nodded slowly. "Severus...I haven't used ma-"

"It's fine." He reassured her. "Father will never know, and you can hardly hurt me, I am a master Occlumens."

There was that eyebrow again.

"How else do you think I fooled the Dark Lord for so long?"

Eileen developed a look of determination, but it fell almost immediately. "I could botch the spell."

"But you won't."

His mother took a shaky resolute breath and pointed Severus' wand at his own nose. "Legillimens."

He showed her his previous life.

She saw the old memory of himself taking his owls and then being tormented by the lake, what he called Lily that ended their friendship. He skipped the end as much for her as himself.

'That never happened, this time around, that was the day I came back to...None of what I am about to show you will ever happen if everything goes the way I plan it to.' His thought echoed through his memory and he continued to show her more.

He shared his persistent apologies to Lily and her rejection of them.

He then skipped ahead through the next two school years, where he watched from afar as Lily grew closer to Potter. When he was informed of his father's accident and then his mother's suicide not a week later, the only shreds of kindness he was shown were from those who supported the dark lord. She saw what he had to do to take the mark, how much he liked it, how accepted he felt.

He became a potions master, sponsored by Lucious Malfoy, his payment was to become his personal brewer in order to assist in conceiving an heir. He had to invent a potion specifically for them, and it worked. They were going to have a baby, and they asked him to be the godfather.

He then struggled to climb the ranks among the death eaters. He was talented with potions and could hold his own in a fight, but that was not enough to impress the Dark Lord for long for he did not enjoy the revels like the others. The torture lost its novelty quickly, though he continued to do it, but he had no interest in using his body on another. That act of intimacy was for lovers, not torture victims, and he did not have any desire to participate. He watched as the Dark Lord did, and hoped that he would find in him a kindred spirit.

Then the prophecy was overheard and presented to his master for any acknowledgement he could acquire. He was given the praise he so desperately desired, but it was short lived when he realized it involved Lily and her new family. He begged the Dark Lord to spare her, and he said he would if she gave him the baby willingly. Severus knew Lily never would so he resorted to throwing himself at Dumbledore's mercy. Agreeing to do anything if he would protect her, no, all of them.

He reported everything to Dumbledore, but it did no good. Her life was lost, as was her husbands and as was the Dark Lord's, though not fully.

However, defying all odds, the baby lived. Dumbledore made arrangements for the Potter boy to be protected.

Severus went to trial for his crimes, and was defended by none other than Albus Dumnledore, claiming him as his spy for the Order of the Phoenix, he was cleared of all charges. Also, with Slughorn 'retiring' due to stress, Snape was hired to take his place as Potions Professor and the head of Slytherin house. He was to play his role as double agent until the imminent return of the Dark Lord.

He had a rough time adjusting to teaching, none of the little miscreants would listen. Some he had even attended school with and did not respect his position, calling him his loathed nickname 'Snivellus' in class. He decided the only thing he could do was be strict, passing out detentions to any and everyone who so much as coughed in his presence. He made sure to favor his Slytherins though, especially if they were members of death eater families, so long as they weren't too disruptive. He would have to keep up appearances.

He developed a reputation as cruel and unforgiving. Argus Filch also became his number one fan for giving him so many students to punish.

The little joy he had in those days was when he had the occasional week or so with Draco over the summers. Usually it was when Lucius and Narcissa wanted to go somewhere alone. He would stay in one of their many guest rooms at the manor so he did not have to commute every day from Spinners End. The elves took care of the necessities, but the Malfoy's didn't want their precious son 'intellectually neglected' by the creatures. The boy was wicked smart and had a knack for potions. Unfortunately he was also a spoiled brat. He loved that little shite like one would love a nephew.

A rather large jump in memories, skipping over the depressingly mundane everyday that was his life between the wars, took them to September 1991.

Harry Potter had come to Hogwarts, and he brought hell along with him.