"I can't have you"
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If heaven heard his heart creak, at least he had a little mercy for his condition, but apparently he didn't have mercy even on Midoriya to save him from suffering.
They held each other on the floor, giving each other heat. How fruitful that scenario would sound if things had been different, but if the line was already drawn, then there was nothing that would change it.
It only consisted of letting everything go, and disappearing.
He held Midoriya until the night arrived and wrapped them in his cloak, covering them with his immense stillness, as if he understood what was happening with them.
"Midoriya." Todoroki was encouraged to speak to him, stroking his shoulder with one hand. "I think we better come back" He said.
Midoriya stuck to his chest, clinging to his heat with his arms. He saw him shake his head.
"I don't want you to get sick" He said cautiously.
"I don't want to go home" He confessed worn out.
Suddenly, he came up with an idea to solve the problem.
"It seems if you, I mean, if you want." He started a little nervous. "If you stay at my house" He swallowed. "If it's not too much trouble, of course."
He nodded, sniffing.
His heart skipped in hope, a dangerous hope, rather, but he could not afford to feel happy, since seeing him in that condition, in that fragile state, meant taking advantage of the situation.
"Can you walk?"
"Yes." He heard him say, slowly peeling off his grip, hard to move.
"Let me help you" He offered, circling him with his arm to protect him.
Midoriya's face looked tired, his eyes dry from so much crying, his voice simulated the creaks of a rusty door, his slow and defeated steps.
"I'll let the others know that you're going to my house" He said cautiously, in that Midoriya leaned his head on his shoulder, hugging him by the waist.
"I don't want to worry them."
Even at his worst, he thought of others before him. Todoroki did nothing but sigh.
"I'll tell your mom" He said, lighting the heat of his Quirk a little, to warm Midoriya, for he was freezing very fast. "Another thing, if you're worried that my dad is at home, he went on a trip, he'll come back in a few days" He said.
"Oh…" He breathed in awe, appeasing. "I see"
"Don't worry, Midoriya" He said gently. "Everything will be fine, I promise you"
"Todoroki-kun!" Midoriya issued in surprise.
"You don't deserve to be treated that way by Bakugou" He continued. "I dare to say that you deserve better than Bakugou."
"Someone like who?" He asked immediately, however, he flinched to stare at the ground.
Someone like me, he meant, but someone deserving of Midoriya perhaps in this life or in the next one was not deserving of such immensity.
Arriving at his house, he chose to call Midoriya's mother, taking advantage of the fact that she had given him her number the other time.
As soon as he typed the numbers, she answered the first beep.
"Hello!" She greeted hurriedly.
"Mrs. Midoriya," he said politely. "I'm Todoroki Shou"
"Where is my baby Izuku?" She screamed in distress. "Have you've seen him?"
"Yes, in fact, he is with me" He notified. "He'll stay at my house"
"Why?" She demanded to know desperately. "Bring me my baby Izuku"
"I'm so sorry" He concluded vehemently. "But he doesn't want to go home."
"It was for Katsuki, right?" She assumed, hitting the mark.
Noticing his silence, she said:
"My baby Izuku!" She screeched evicted.
"Please" He interrupted with the best intention. "I'll take care of him during the night, I'll bring him early tomorrow."
He heard Mrs. Midoriya breathe several times, holding back the tears.
"Okay" She said resignedly. "I leave my Izuku in your care, please take good care of him."
"I will" He said seriously, looking sideways at Midoriya's exhausted body near him, leaning his head on the dining room table.
He hung up the phone, and approached Midoriya, taking a seat next to him; He put his arm around him for the purpose of comforting him.
"Todoroki-kun" Midoriya muttered, turning his head in his direction. "Thanks for everything you've done for me." He smiled a little.
"You don't have to thank me" He said. "I just did what I thought was right."
"You are so good, Todoroki-kun." He praised him, raising his head from the table. "I don't know what I would have done if you weren't with me"
He felt himself shiver, pale in a margin of promising sensations, his hands turning white how snowy weaknesses run down his limbs.
"I really appreciate it" He said, as sounds of tranquility as he probed through the passage of a forest. "I, I thought Kacchan loved me, but I saw that it's not so, and" He cut himself, his eyes fogged, but they resisted getting out in flames of sadness.
"You can tell me if you like." He forced himself to sound calm, despite the insatiable anger he felt in reference to Bakugou. "Sometimes it makes you feel better if you tell a friend."
Midoriya inhaled air, calming himself with an exhalation through his mouth.
"Yes, you're right." He wiped his eyes carefully with both hands. "I always loved Kacchan, I always veiled for his sake and admired him a lot, but apparently they weren't enough for Kacchan to love me." He cleared his throat bitterly.
Todoroki wrinkled his eyebrows in sadness, hiding his feelings knowing that if he did it would hurt more, but the emptiness was already normal for him to feel.
"I realized he doesn't love me." He hiccuped, shrinking. "And he said he loved me, but it's not true." He put both hands covering his face; Todoroki only imprisoned Midoriya better from his arm, without being abrupt. "I wanted to believe it was true."
"Do you think Bakugou doesn't love you?"
"Yes" He said in pain. "Kacchan hates me." He laid his head on his shoulder, breathing hard. "Kacchan has always hated me"
"But, Bakugou is with you" He said incredulously.
"Not anymore." He uncovered his face, letting him glimpse the small accumulations of tears that ran down his rosy cheeks, brushing his freckles.
"I understand" He concluded resignedly.
"I lied to myself" He admitted guilty. "I lied with a truth that perhaps never existed, and now I have to live with the consequences of my actions"
Midoriya put a hand on his, simulating a sound that he kept hearing, or the sweet taste of tasting a piece of happiness itself.
"Don't worry, Todoroki-kun." He forced himself to smile at him. "I can deal with this"
"Midoriya" He exhaled, taken under guard.
"It's a fact that I will" He swallowed, and sighed with his O-shaped lips. "Kacchan won't be able to do more than me"
"But, you need to heal calmly." He rushed in a hurry. "Don't force yourself to get over him, Midoriya, when it's so recent."
Obviously, he liked the idea of knowing that Midoriya would get over him, but going so fast to want to do it, it meant forcing himself to forget something that maybe he wasn't ready to face, but when it came to Midoriya, sometimes the surprises were an indisputable hitch.
"I can do it" He said even in a broken voice. "I won't forget Kacchan, I'll just get over him" He clarified a little awkwardly. "Kacchan doesn't deserve my tears"
"I understand." He stroked his curls, stirring his hair between his fingers subtly. "Take all the time you need." He smiled sideways.
"Sure" He said with his thumb up.
The immovable walls of his room grew in the darkness, when the rays of the moon crossed the curtains and the eyes shone from his immense clarity, because the certainty of seeing something unattainable filled the spirit of jubilation, at least the joy attributed to him to Midoriya, but for him he had to fulfill his role as a friend and to be stuck in the time of the unwavering friendship that formed his bond.
Midoriya's soft hands brushed the tips of his fingers, the strands of his hair, in effect, touched the tips of his cheeks and his head laid comfortably on his shoulder.
They were both were lying in his bed.
Todoroki didn't see the need to let him sleep on the floor when he could enjoy a warm bed and white sheets hugging him without a squeak.
His nerves sprouted at the top, skin stinging how soft pinches on the epithelium, the smell of forest and mint coming from the strands of the boy's hair hypnotized him in a dance of pendulums that rocked his soul and filled his inner feelings.
He had him so close, less than a centimeter to touch him completely, and still, he couldn't do anything.
He didn't have him, perhaps he will never have him on an occasion like that, and yet he restricted himself in his solemn integrity, in the solemn breeze that swept through and fanned his chest as he exhaled and expanded to breathe.
Frankly, Todoroki turned his gaze to Midoriya's perfect face; his perfectly delineated freckles, his strands of hair adorning his long, thin eyelashes, his rosy cheekbones, his pink lips, his soft hands fanning him, his head curled up on his shoulder.
It was too much for him, in all sincerity, there were too many thoughts competing in his head ready to reach dominance that would govern the sanity of being unrequited.
It hurt not to be reciprocated, but it hurt even more to have Midoriya by his side and not be able to hug him. Having him and not being able to express his love, because he wouldn't have him.
And that, it was simply too much for him to bear it alone.
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P.S. Another chapter of Todoroki! waiting for it to be of your liking.
