Someone tried to poison all the princesses in Etheria last night. It was a dark night, a bad night, the kind of night children hide under their covers from. Blistering cold fog as far as the eye can see. And there we were, all alone, snug in our castle of solid ice, having fun without a care about what was going on outside, we were literally on top of the world on that snowy mountain peak.

"Sorry, Mermista," Scorpia interrupted, "Are you talking to me right now?"

No, Scorpia... I'm just... I'm trying to get what happened last night straight in my head.

"Ah, gotcha," replied Scorpia, "Is that why you're wearing that hat? I don't think I've ever seen it before."

...the hat helps me think.

"Oh, okay," Scorpia said, "...can I have a hat, too?"

Only if you get it yourself, I only have the one hat. Anyways... it was a bad night and it was just us princesses alone in the castle. The perfect moment for an assassin to strike. The question was... how did they get in? How did they get out? And who would want to poison all the princesses of Etheria in the first place?

"Well, we all became pretty unpopular after the whole surrendering our forces to Horde Prime thing happened," Scorpia explained, "So really, it could have been anyone."

The big lug beside me with the crushing claws and barbed tail was Scorpia, the Princess of Horror Hall. Wanted to help out with the investigation to take her mind off her recent troubles. Bad breakup as I hear. Didn't want to talk about it and I didn't want to ask.

"You know, if you want me to leave you just have to tell me," Scorpia commented, "I'd appreciate you not bringing up my personal life for everyone to hear."

Sorry... Where was I? Queen Glimmer used a truth telling spell to get a confession from each of the kitchen staff. No one was guilty or knew anything about how the sugar in Princess Frosta's big birthday cake was replaced with two cups of Potassium Cyanide. Which means the suspect had to be someone else with access to the royal kitchens that wouldn't have been out of place. Possibly a guest of the princesses or even a princess herself.

"Or someone who just put on a chef hat and snuck in," Scorpia guessed, "But now that I think of it, Potassium Cyanide is normally used by the Horde's intelligence agents and high ranking officers as a last resort in case they get captured by enemy combatants. You don't think a former Horde member could have poisoned the cake, do you?"

Scorpia had good instincts. That explains why Hordak was able to so quickly recognize the smell of poison on the cake. There were at least 5 former members of Hordak's horde at the party, including Hordak himself. It wasn't much, but it gave us a list of suspects to start eliminating. Hordak, Entrapta, Adora, Catra, Double Trouble.

"And... uhh... well... me," Scorpia pointed out.

And Scorpia. We needed to get everyone on record about what they did that night. Might as well start with the kitty at the top.

~*~

"I told you already," Catra groaned, a small circular silhouette of light separating her from the rest of the dark room, "Me and Adora were together the entire night until Hordak told everyone about the poison. We didn't go anywhere near the kitchens or the cake before it came out."

Maybe they didn't... but maybe Catra and Adora we're covering for each other. Poison the other princesses so they could both escape and run off together in some far off land to hide and elope, away from the Horde, away from their responsibilities.

"What are you even talking about?" Catra screamed, "I have everything to lose right now! Just the fact that this happened at all has put my head is on the chopping block for Horde Prime. And do you really think someone like Adora would bother with something like poison? She's not the type to backstab someone, she'll stab you in the gut and tell you it's for your own good."

Hate to say it but the kitty had a point. MO didn't fit with Adora's background. Fit Catra's, but motive was sketchy. It was time to move on.

"And put my lamp back on my desk," Catra ordered as I turned to leave, "Seriously, are you trying to make me blind as well as deaf?"

Me and Catra had some bad blood between us. She burned down my house, I took it out on her pretty little skull. Just because we had to work together doesn't mean I had to like it. Whatever happened between us, I was getting nowhere fast talking to her, so I went to check up on my partner in the other room to see if she had any better luck with the other suspect.

"...and that's when, no joke, we finally found her sleeping in a empty storage crate," Adora was in the middle of telling Scorpia, "Apparently, she's just been sneaking off to take naps during her shift. Shadow Weaver was pissed when she found out. Refused to sleep anywhere else for a week."

"Hahaha, oh wow," laughed Scorpia, "Did you know she kept the box, right? Made me move it into her new room after the big promotion. Sometimes I'd sneak by her door after hours to see her lying in there some times after a really bad day."

"Yeah, that sounds like Catra alright..." chuckled Adora.

"So, it sounds like things are still going okay..." Scorpia noted, her tone becoming more serious, "...between you two, I mean."

"Uh, yeah," Adora answered, shuffling awkwardly, "I meant we fight all the time, but at least we're talking now. I'm so proud of the progress she's made since V-Day. After the Portal event, I had basically given up on her."

"Yeah..." Scorpia said wistfully, "Me too, to be honest..."

"I had my suspicions about Double Trouble ever since we caught them in Brightmoon," Adora continued, "But I can't thank them enough for everything they've done for us."

"Uh-huh, good for you, I guess..." Scorpia grumbled, her tone quickly becoming something very unlike Scorpia and very much like... well... me.

This whole visit was a dead end, but I think we can safely cross Adora and Catra off our list. But before we moved on to the next suspect, I wanted to get the facts straight from the woman who took the testimony from Princess Frosta's entire staff.

~*~

"Look, I don't know what to tell you," Glimmer frantically told the dangerous but alluring mermaid who was holding her head over a toilet bowl, "I even had Shadow Weaver double check my technique when I cast the truth spell the second time. Whoever poisoned the cake wasn't someone who normally worked for Frosta."

Did they tell you about anyone else who went near the kitchen? Any new faces they didn't recognize?

"Most of them didn't recognize each other," Glimmer answered woozily, her hands pushing against the toilet seat, "They normally work in separate shifts, but Frosta wanted a big team to cater the party for everyone that night."

"Are you guys done in there yet?" Scorpia called from outside, knocking against the door, "I don't wanna interrupt the investigation but I actually do have to go in there soon."

We've been at this for a while, your highness. My arm's starting to get tired. Give it up or I'm dropping you.

"I can't..." Glimmer stammered, wriggling in my grasp, "I..."

"Look, I can't hold it anymore," Scorpia said, "I'm coming in."

Come on, Sparkles, give me something. Anything.

"Sweet Hordak's Ghost!" Scorpia exclaimed as she entered, "What are you doing to her?"

Her Royal Majesty was asking for it. That is to say she was literally asking me to hold her over the toilet so her hair wouldn't get messy when she finally... ah, theeere we go. That's it. Just let it all out.

"Uggh..." groaned Glimmer as she went over to the sink to wash out her mouth, "Thanks again, Mermista... but please don't let anyone else know about this."

It was my royal duty. I've had my share of bad mornings after a rough night partying. Little Queen Bee must have gotten drunk at home to take the edge off from the stress last night. Explains the beer gut I felt around her waist. Scorpia took Glimmer's report as the two of them went to see the local tailor. That gave me time alone to have a little chat with the last suspect living in Brightmoon.

~*~

So, what do you have to say for yourself, mis... huh... What is the gender neutral term for Mister Missus? Is it Mister Missus? Master? Mixer? I'm gonna try Mixer, that sounds kinda cool. Alright, Mixer therapist, where were you on the night of the murders?

"What are you talking about?" Double Trouble asked nervously, "Did someone die?"

Don't play dumb with me. You know why I'm here. Lose the idiot.

"Oh, okay," Double Trouble said before turning to their first and latest acting student, "That was a very... compelling performance, Seahawke. You can leave now."

"Oh, of course," the stupid moron said, eagerly shaking both hands with my therapist, "Thank you so much for this. I can't wait for my next class."

I watched Seahawke's backside closely as he swaggered out that door. I could watch him swagger out my door all day, but someone that dumb and that pretty had no business getting involved in something this dangerous. And I would do anything to keep that man safe... not that I'd ever say it out loud.

"I think you just did," Double Trouble commented.

Never you mind that! Where were you on the night Frosta's cake got poisoned?

"Hmm..." Double Trouble sighed, sitting down on the edge of their own couch and crossing their legs, "I was with Scorpia for most of the night. She was the one who invited me to the party. After we gave our gift to the Birthday girl, Queen Glimmer took me aside to discuss something we talked about in our last therapy session."

What specifically did you talk about?

"I'm afraid I can't divulge my clients personal information," Double Trouble sneered, lying back smugly on their couch, "You wouldn't want me gossiping to anyone about any of *your* sessions, would you?"

Uggh, fair... So what happened next?

"Well, Frosta and Scorpia were hanging out," Double Trouble recollected, "So I decided to check up on you guys, remember?"

I remember, you and Scorpia left just before the big fight Hordak and Entrapta had in the middle of the ballroom.

"Yeah, I would have loved to see that," Double Trouble sighed in regret, "But anyways, Scorpia came back, said she wanted me to show her where the bathrooms were. I thought she wanted to get into some hankey pankey, but we instead..."

Double Trouble stopped talking for a second to wipe something out of their eye.

"We decided that things weren't going to work out between us," Double Trouble said, their voice cracking briefly, "So I went home."

You went home.

"That's right," said Double Trouble.

From the party.

"Uh-huh," Double Trouble confirmed.

The party being held on top of a snowy mountain in the middle of a blizzard.

"I... really needed the exercise," Double Trouble explained.

And did anyone see when you left or when you arrived back in Brightmoon?

"No," Double Trouble answered, "I just went back to my room and drank myself to sleep."

Tell me, DT, do you know what Potassium Cyanide is?

"It's the poison used by the Horde's agents in case of capture by enemy forces," Double Trouble exposited, "Catra gave me some when she sent me out as Flutterina. I didn't see the point of it, to be honest. I'm really good at getting out of tight spots. Obviously, I didn't use it when you finally captured me. Why do you ask?"

It was also the poison that was found inside the cake.

"Ohhh..." Double Trouble sighed worryingly as realization slowly crept over their face, "Things aren't looking good for me right now, are they?"

That was certainly an understatement. DT's story stunk worse than rotting seaweed. They just admitted to having access to the poison used in the assassination attempt. They obviously just had a bad breakup with one of the princesses. And had no one to corroborate their alibi. That made for a perfect recipe of means, motive and opportunity. Which is precisely why it couldn't possibly have been them.

"Wait..." Double Trouble stuttered, "What?"

It's too easy. You're like... the second or third person I've talked to, and I still haven't gone over all the suspects yet. And in my experience, it's never the most likely suspect.

"Actually, in the real world and not in your mystery novels, it usually is," Double Trouble corrected, "The only other times it's some deranged psycho nobody who wanted to get even for some minor perceived slight."

Okay... so are you... like... making a confession or what?

"No, I'm sorry," Double Trouble apologized nervously, "I don't know why I can't stop saying things that keep just keep digging me in a deeper hole. I think I'm subconsciously trying to punish myself for hurting Scorpia and I'm really sorry for making out with Seahawke just now. I don't know what happened. We were just getting practicing getting reading lines as a different character and... Sweet Etheria, I can not shut up today!"

This whole situation was a confusing mess. Sure, it was hard to believe that DT left the party just before everyone got poisoned in the middle of a snowstorm. But it was even harder to believe the Horde Spy who had fooled the entire Princess Alliance into believing they were Flutterina couldn't come up with a better alibi than 'I went home by myself'. My gut told me that DT was telling the truth, but was keeping something from me. Whatever happened between Scorpia and Double Trouble was the next clue in the case. And if the therapist wasn't going to tell me, I was going to go to my partner.

"Wait," Double Trouble interrupted, "Please don't get Scorpia involved in this. I don't need you making things worse for her. I talk, just... please don't tell her I told you this."

I sat back down and was ready to listen. If there was one thing any good detective knew, it was when to know when to keep a secret. This had better be good.

"Before Scorpia invited me to the Princess Prom two point oh," Double Trouble told me, "I thought she was going out with Princess Perfuma. I felt rejected so I got a little drunk and sent out a letter telling her I was happy for them and I may have threatened Perfuma if anything happened to Scorpia. Perfuma told Glimmer, who figured out I sent the letter and confronted me about it. I told her I was willing to apologize and smooth things over between me and Perfuma, but she ordered me to stay away from both of them. That's why me and her were arguing during the prom. She showed the letter to Scorpia and we broke up."

So Queen Bee decided to meddle in DT's personal relationship. Hate to say it but this didn't help their case in terms of motive. If someone tried to break me and Seahawke up over a mistake I made... I don't know what I'd do. One thing's for sure, they definitely needed to patch things up with Perfuma. Threatening a woman for dating someone you like is bad enough... even without the historical baggage of violence against trans people.

"Yeah, I get the point..." Double Trouble groaned, "I knew it was a mistake the moment I sent it, but I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. I'll try to get in touch with Perfuma the first chance I get. Just remember what I said about not telling Scorpia."

Their secret was safe with me. They also didn't need to worry about the whole thing with Seahawke. I saw them do worse with him after the last princess prom, I *did* far worse with the both of them after the last princess prom. I just needed to make sure I got a recording of their 'acting sessions' to watch later... to make sure I'm getting my money's worth.

"Well, I'd have to discuss that with Seahawke," Double Trouble explained, "Does this mean your okay with Seahawke taking lessons with a suspected princess assassin?"

Like I said, I believed them when they told me they didn't do it. It was proving it that was going to be the tricky part. We were done in Brightmoon, but this investigation wasn't over... not by a long shot...