gemsofformenos: It is not even the final twist lmao! Thanks, lowkey I've been meaning to type this one for a while. I also had one in mind where it was an Azula and Appa role swap. But that's a whole different thing. Yeah, there were like three coups going at the same time. And the Bosco coup won. They have more power now that they are protagonists! "A new team is growing together and as long as it'll help Azula to let grow and to sell more cabbages I'm sure it will be a strong alliance." True lol. "I love how you're shamelessly messing and glitching with shows, story arcs, plot holes, time lines and so much more." Thanks xD it's always fun messing with shows and plot holes. 90% of this fic is me realizing that I have made some kind of plot hole or error and then bending the plot as ridiculously as possible to fix it. "You definitely have a way with this kind of comedy. So much fun for me to read, thank you for it. Keep on having fun with your stories." You're welcome! It definitely helps let off some steam.
Iroh furrows his brows. "It cannot be!" He declares. No, the bear must be lying. "Dante Basco is a good man."
Bosco puts the head of his fursuit back on, cackling maniacally.
"What are you really?" The Earth King asks. He knows that he will receive no answer. Decidedly, he doesn't want an answer at all. Anything that uses layers upon layers of illusions and disguises is not meant for human eyes. No, he doesn't want to think about the true form of this abomination.
Bosco makes himself cozy upon the Earth King's throne. "entewtain me, foow." He says with a uwu and looks to the Earth King. Years of being treated as a mere pet rather than the formidable and all powerful being that he is, has made him bitter. It is now the Earth King's turn for humiliation.
"You do not have to do this." Iroh speaks up. He does not know what exactly 'this' entails. But he does not want to find out.
And with good reason. Bosco has terrible and horrific plans. Plans that start with yiffing a dragon; he has his eyes on the Dragon of the West, not realizing that he is actually the Pterodactyl of the West.
Plans that end with total dimensional take over. He has taken many universes, it is always subtle at first; small tears in time and space that expose those in that universe to eldritch horrors such as himself, moments where universes bleed into each other, and other unremarkable happenings.
Bosco doesn't know what subtly is, he often confuses 'subtle' for 'bold'.
He has just finished destroying Earth Kingdom Azula's universe. The woman had made a large spirit canon and had been blasting it off left and right. It was free real estate. He recalls fondly how she had used the spirit canon to cook her toast and, by extension, finally creating the opening that he had been waiting for.
"This is some damn good toast." She had said to Baatar, who had somehow survived the first time she had blasted him with her spirit canon. "Really damn good toast."
What Bosco hadn't realized was that the damn good toast had mutated her eyebrows, giving them super powers. The ability to shoot spirit energy from them. And so he had to eliminate her and her eyebrows.
Though the damage has already been done.
He sees that now as a very timid princess and a very irreparably furious Cabbage Merchant emerge.
Bosco thinks faintly that he shouldn't have unhinged his jaw, revealing a bleak galaxy swirling with his gaping maw, to consume the merchant's cabbage stall.
"This is over bear." She declares.
"He's not a bear!" The Earth King shouts. "He's a...f-f-furry and he might be Danteā¦"
Iroh cuts him off, "he is not Dante Basco. He lies."
Azula stares at her potential business partner, waiting for him to further explain.
"He is the Loch Ness Monster!"
Azula swallows, for this is all her fault.
Three dollars and fiddy cents, that had been the agreement made by the ancient leaders. Three fiddy to satiate the eldritch abomination that threatens to collapse their universe. Every hundred years one person is elected to make a noble sacrifice to save the world from total collapse. To sacrifice their hard earned cash.
That person is the Avatar.
Only the Avatar master of all four elements, could produce exact change.
But then everything changed when the Bumi attacked.
On a day in mid-January Bumi had shouted, "I dare you to lick that pole."
Avatar Aang, knowing very well that he had to kick the ass of a Fire Lord, but not wanting to look like a coward in front of his friends who had taken to chanting, 'do it, do it, do it!' Had approached the pole and gave it a good lick. Unfortunately he could not pry is tongue from the spot so he remained there until a thick wall of ice formed around he and his bison.
One hundred years passed and the Loch Ness Monster was forced to accept a new sacrifice, a cabbage merchant named Azula. She still has a lot to learn (not that she will admit as much) and no one believes that she can save the world (she doesn't really want to anyhow).
"I paid your price, demon!" Azula shouts.
"Those were counterfeit bills!" He declares.
Azula gulps, so he has seen through her illusions. "I was in a hot spring, I didn't have cash on me at the time."
"Ooooooooh." Bosco nods. "Well why didn' you just say so?"
"Because that's embarrassing." Jet declares for her. "I mean what kind of madman bathes without carrying at least five dollars on them!?"
Azula shoots him a sharp glare and he mutters an apology.
"Someone who is a peasant." Sie declares. Man, he has been wanting to say that. "A peasant who couldn't sell enough cabbages."
Azula's eyes widen in both anger and shock. "Perhaps I'd have been able to sell more if some people didn't keep annihilating my stall!"
Aang whistles innocently to himself as if he hadn't, at one point, airbended her cabbage stand into a sinkhole. As if his bison never swallowed it whole. As if he didn't lead a band of angry firebenders in her path who had set fire to her cabbages.
Her fury simmers, but she keeps her composure. She takes a deep breath. "I didn't want to have to do this." She says quietly to Jet. "Hold my beer, you gorgeous man." But she does not have a beer because she is only fourteen.
She takes her bangs in her hands and snaps them off.
"What the hell?" One of the Dailluminati exclaims.
"There's a reason why I keep my bangs sharper than Chan's outfit!" She declares as she plunges her ridiculously pointy bangs into Bosco's chest. The bear/Loch Ness Monster thing flashes a quick owo and lets out a roar. Azula is undisturbed, her cabbages will protect her. Bosco swipes at her and gives an uncannily cute 'awoo'.
She stabs him again.
"youw bangs wont wowk on me uwu!" He declares. "stab aww chu want~ i am immowtaw"
Azula knows now that it is true. Loch Ness Monster, Dante Basco, bear, the spawn of Cthulhu, whatever else he may be, is undeniably a furry.
She gives him one final stab. When it doesn't work she narrows her eyes. "Okay, bear, it's time to face your doom!" She takes a deep breath as she prepares to enter her final form. In a flashy display of glimmering sparkles and a cheerful pop instrumental, she enters her magical girl transformation.
Instead of her merchant's rags, she now wears a crop top with a cabbage brooch, a mini skirt with a belt of emerald cabbages, and knee high neon green boots. The looks is completed by a cabbage tree hat that matches the outfit only in name.
Having completed her magical girl transformation, she gives a snide wink and shouts, "cabbage canon blast!" She holds her hands over her head and a large cabbage appears, it is outlined in glowing green and glitters in the sunlight.
It hurtles towards Bosco who BEARly leaps out of the way in time.
"Cabbage leaf lash!" She calls and summons several bladed cabbage leaves.
They cut into Bosco's fur and he gives a yip and another owo! "chu wiww pay fur dis!"
He gives a sonic roar which lands Azula on her back. She quickly gets to her feet. "Cabbage lotus barrage!" Several absurdly large cabbages sprout from the ground and burst open, blasting off green energy.
The bear awooo's in pain. But he gets up and springs upon Azula.
She cringes, it has been a while since she has had to resort to a combo strike. "Cabbage lotus leaf barrage!"
The words seem to echo as most magical girl spell declarations do. It is for dramatic effect.
This time when the cabbage petals open they show bladed cabbage leaves with them. Bosco opens his mouth and sucks it all into to his blackhole maw.
"Fufufufufu." He laughs.
Azula stumbles back.
"It's going to be okay." Jet says as he takes her into his arms. But she doesn't think that it will be. No one has ever escaped the cabbage lotus leaf barrage.
"It's not going to be okay." Azula whispers. That had been her most powerful attack. "He's going to kill all of us."
Jet hugs her tighter as Bosco looms over them. Azula closes her eyes. If she is going to die, she is going to finally do it. She kisses Jet. This isn't special nor is it what she was finally going to do, in fact she has done that several times already off screen.
She kisses Jet and pulls out a bottle of green hair dye. Quickly she dyes her hair bright green.
"You're beautiful." Jet mumbles into her ear.
Azula nods, "I know."
Bosco still looms over them, claws extended, bound by the laws of storytelling to wait until their dialogue has finished to strike.
Sie, having become a master at evading scripts uses this time to muster up his courage. He has no love whatsoever for the Cabbage Merchant and her adonis-looking boyfriend. He has even less love for Long Feng, the Avatar and friends. He doesn't like his brother and uncle either and only has moderate platonic affections for Mai and TyLee. But he hates Bosco so much more. And despite his ill opinions on all of his companions, he can't just let them die.
Sie throws his timidness to the side and then throws himself between Bosco and the Cabbage Merchant.
