A/N: I'm back with another chapter! I've finished all my tests and my presentation which was about changes in orthopaedic trauma management – turned out to be not so bad. But most importantly I officially start my Easter holidays! I've got a whole month off, so expect this story to hopefully be finished in that time! Well, hope you all enjoy this chapter.
1 Week Later:
Aang's POV:
I cringe at the scowl on both Katara's and Kyla's faces.
"You should be in bed resting." They point out in sync. 'Great one healer on top of my head was bad enough, who needs two?'
"You can't really expect me to stay in bed all day." I grumble in annoyance causing Kyla to shake her head before turning to Katara beside her.
"See, this is what I've had to put up with for the last 2 years." The healer complains which elicits a smirk from my Sifu.
"Well you certainly had more patience than I would've had." I roll my eyes at the two of them and walk towards the dining table and take a seat watching as they banter with one another. A soft smile makes its way up face. 'It's nice to see them getting along so well. For a while I was worried they wouldn't, but it seems my close brush with death has pulled them closer together.' Just then both Sokka and Zuko enter the room and do a double-take when they notice my presence at the table.
"Shouldn't you be in bed Twinkletoes?" The blind Earthbender states as she appears at the door after Zuko.
"Jeez not you too!" I groan out with a hand on my head.
"I have to agree with everyone, you've just stopped your sporadic convulsions yesterday, what are you doing here?" I purse my lips at Sokka's comment and sigh. 'They aren't going to like this but maybe I can stretch the truth a bit.'
"I want to go and visit Xiu." I announce. The silence that follows is deafening and just like that the penny suddenly drops.
"I don't know Aang, you should wait until you're healed up a bit more."
"I have to agree with Katara." Kyla adds a beat later. I look between the two Waterbenders, before casting my eyes to Toph.
"Toph will be right by my side, it's her prison after all and there are plenty of officers wandering about if he tries anything. Besides, he's the one who helped you guys find us in the first place, he can't be that bad."
"But we don't know if that was all orchestrated so that he could kill the 5 of us in one swoop." Sokka points out.
"I say let him go. Maybe Twinkletoes can get more out of him than any of my officers have." The blind Earthbender states passively with crossed arms.
"Plus, we do need to know if we have to start looking for another representative for the South-Eastern region of the Earth Kingdom." Zuko adds in meekly, but snaps his jaws shut when Katara sends him a smouldering glare.
"Well I'm taking that as a yes! Come on Toph." I say quickly before anyone can argue further. I swiftly get to my feet and exit the building without a second glance, ignoring the aggravated sighs being emitted from the rest of the gang. I hear the pitter-patter of feet behind me and slow my uneven gait.
"You know I could tell you weren't telling the whole truth, right?" I sigh and shoot a small smile at the Earthbender beside me.
"I know. Yon Yu is the one I really want to see, but I know how everyone would react. Besides, Xiu is in the same building, it wouldn't hurt to have a quick chat with him too." I explain carefully, hoping that Toph won't drag me back to City Hall, but her eyes remain fixed ahead of her and we continue trudging through the street.
"Why?" The one worded question causes my feet to slow to a stop.
"I want him to know that his words and presence doesn't bother me. I want to prove to myself that...that I'm not worthless. I just want to feel strong again." I whisper softy as I lay my insecurities bare to my Sifu. Both Katara's words of advice and the comments from my nightmares swirl around my mind in rapid waves.
"You're not worthless." Toph forces out roughly with utter conviction before exhaling deeply. "I'm not sure if this is the best way to convince you that, but...if you think it is, then I'm with you." I nod my head in appreciation and we continue the walk to the police station.
Upon entering, Toph nods her head at the receptionist that we pass by. I widen my eyes slightly when I recognise her. 'She's the same lady that was here when I first came to the police station to hand in those two hoodlums. Spirits that feels like ages ago.' She shoots me a smile, surprise no longer evident on her face. 'Somehow she must've known that I've patched things up with the gang.' Toph pulls out a bunch of keys from her pocket and opens the back door which leads to a long row of cells on either side. I peer through some of the windows to see some familiar scowling faces and gulp audibly. Subconsciously I find myself drawing nearer to the Master Earthbender as she leads me through another set of doors, thicker than the first.
"We keep the more dangerous criminals in here." I nod silently at Toph's comment, as my ability of speech seems to escape me. 'Why am I getting so riled up? I've dealt with bad guys before. Maybe it's because so many of the rebels that tormented me are in this very building.' My sifu's feet slow to a stop in front of another door and turns to face me. "He's in there behind a set of bars. Do you want me to go in with you?" I take in a deep breath and shake my head.
"No. I have to do this on my own." I answer with what I hope sounds like confidence.
"Alright. If he tries anything give me a shout and I'll be right there ok?" I smile, touched by Toph's protectiveness.
"Of course." I reply warmly and open the door. I take a step in, close the door behind me and turn to face the seated Yon Yu. Two beats of silence pass before he speaks up.
"What are you doing here Avatar? Have you come to mock me?" I blink at his snide tone and take a step towards him until there's only a couple of metres between us and a thick set of bars.
"No. I just needed to confront you..." I begin but I'm cut off by bitter laughter.
"Confront me?! Ha! Have I scared you so much that the mere thought of me gives you nightmares and sends a shiver down your spine?" I flinch at how close his words are to the truth. Yon Yu's eyes watch me carefully and from the grin working its way up his face I can tell he saw it. "Ah, I told you that I've marked you didn't I? Not only physically but mentally." I grind my teeth at his jab before closing my eyes and take in a deep breath. I exhale slowly and open my eyes with new clarity.
"You know what Yon Yu? For so long you made me feel powerless, like I was helpless to save myself. Me. The Avatar! You made me feel like I couldn't do anything. That no matter how hard I tried, it didn't matter. It didn't change anything because it seems that I will always be this weak pathetic person who can only do mistakes." I pause, my eyes dropping briefly to the hand by my side. I clench it tightly and lift my head back up.
"But I've learnt something. Despite all my mistakes, despite my failings and short-comings, I've never given up. It hurt getting back up onto my feet, it hurt going through all those physiotherapies, those healing sessions, heck it's still painful to stare at my scars, but none of it has ever stopped me. It didn't stop me from defeating Ozai and it didn't stop me from defeating your rebel group. For a long time, all this pain led me to believe how unimportant I am, how hated, how worthless. If so many rebels could despise me, what's stopping me from despising myself? And I did. Until I realised my perception of myself shouldn't be based on others, it should be based on myself because people's perceptions are a reflection of themselves. They hate others because they hate themselves. I fell into that trap and I only noticed it when I spent a week stuck in bed, withering in agony from every convulsion I had due to being electrocuted just because of how fate turned out. After talking with a friend, I started asking myself why. Why do I hate myself and why do people hate me? I feel foolish for not thinking about it before. Perhaps all I needed was for someone to open my eyes. I believe that's what you and every hate-filled person needs, for a chance to see a new perspective." I take in another deep breath and with utter seriousness I gaze deeply into Yon Yu's scowling face.
"I'm not afraid of you anymore and I'm not worthless; I'm so much more than you and everyone ever thought I was. You all saw me as the Avatar which was your first mistake. You never stopped to think of me as Aang, the boy who lost his whole nation and yet still found it in himself to show forgiveness and to find love in a new place, in my friendships. Your second mistake was forgetting that those same friendships are what saved me. They gave me confidence and encouraged me to believe in myself again." I pause again as I let a smile form on my lips. "And I do. Spirits it's been a while, but I do. I just wish I realised it sooner, but better late than never Monk Gyatso used to say." I say as a real grin graces my face.
"Oh good for you. As always the Avatar gets his happy ending." I raise an eyebrow at Yon Yu's snide tone and shake my head. 'Some people may never change.' I turn my back on him with the intention of leaving, having said what I wanted, until I hear a ruffle of movement.
"It's easy for you Avatar to get up and socialise with anyone or anything. Some people don't have that luxury." I frown and turn to face Yon Yu who's now sitting on the ground, his face turned away from me.
"You're perfectly capable of talking to others and making your own friends." I reply bluntly.
"Am I?" I blink at the quiet question as surprise etches into my features. 'What's he on about? He has always...actually, come to think of it he didn't talk much over the 3 years I've fought him. A few biting words here and there, but mostly he just shot me down with condescending looks.' I observe him carefully as he pulls his knees up towards his chest and leans his forearms on them. He turns his head back to me, a slight pained expression crosses his eyes.
"Sometimes the quietest people are the ones who want to speak out the loudest, but find that they just can't." Yon Yu's soft expression causes my heart to throb painfully before settling back to its steady lull. 'I had felt like that. During my self-imposed 3 year isolation, I wanted to speak out so badly, but circumstances held me back, kept me away from my friends...my family.' I watch the rebel drop his shoulders. 'I wonder what was the thing that stopped Yon Yu from speaking out.'
"Yon Yu..." I start but I'm cut off when the rebel jumps to his feet with a blazing look in his eyes.
"Don't you dare pity me! Just leave. I've had enough of listening to you." The rebel states threateningly.
"I wasn't pitying you!" I argue with furrowed eyebrows.
"I said LEAVE!" I jump slightly at the raised voice and sighing I go over to the door. I spare a glance back at Yon Yu, but all I'm greeted with is his back, so I sigh. I touch the door handle and open it.
"There's nothing wrong with being quiet." I say softly and close the door gently behind me. Once I move my eyes away from the door I find myself face to face with Toph. I frown when I notice her expression.
"Toph, your eyes are red." I comment in concern. The Earthbender rubs at them and folds her arms while shooting me an annoyed glare.
"Of course they're red Airhead! I get hay fever." I frown at the abrupt response as Toph starts marching away from me.
"But, it's winter." I point out while trying to catch up with her.
"Zip it Twinkletoes." Comes the quick retort. I purse my lips in confusion until it hits me.
"Wait, were you listening in?" I ask.
"The doors are meant to keep prisoners in; they're not meant to be sound-proof." The corner of my lips twitches upwards.
"Never thought I'd see you get emotional Toph." I tease lightly and dance out of reach when her arm snaps up.
"I don't get emotional. I told you its hay fever." The blind Earthbender stresses out as a look of discomfort crosses her face.
"Of course." I agree good-naturedly, as a full-fledged grin appears on my face.
"Stop smiling." At Toph's command I drop my smile, but my eyes gleam.
"You're insufferable Twinkletoes."
"I'm not doing anything!"
"You don't have to, your happy-go lucky gait just got a little happier." I chuckle at that comment which causes my Sifu to groan.
"Seriously, you're so insufferable."
"I know." I say.
"Come on, let me take you to Xiu before I decide to throw you in a cell."
"You do remember what I did the last time I came here right?" I ask dubiously with a raised eyebrow. Toph decides to ignore me as she pushes me towards one of the thick metal doors.
"He's in there."
"Ok. For the record Toph..." I start but Toph cuts me off when she raises a hand.
"I get it, we love each other. Family and all that. Now go. I don't want to find Katara and Sokka marching down here to find out why we're taking so long." Toph states brashly, but ends her statement with a small smile. I nod and go through. When I step inside I'm surprised to find that Xiu isn't behind bars but in an interrogation room where the Earthbender is seated at a desk. He lifts his head up upon my entry and raises his eyebrows when he notices who it is.
"Avatar Aang." Xiu greets curtly.
"Xiu." I respond in like-manner. The clock ticks in the background.
"If you're here to interrogate me I suggest you get on with it. I've had enough of the constant questioning, but it doesn't seem to be letting up any time soon." I purse my lips in thought but make no move towards the empty chair across the noble.
"I'm not here to interrogate you. I just want to talk." I say carefully and watch a flicker of relief cross his eyes before it returns back in his stony stare.
"What about?" He inquires cautiously, his pompous attitude returning in full force. I force myself not to grit my teeth in irritation and press forward.
"About what you said while I was in that cell. It's...good to know that your intentions were pure." I comment slowly as I watch his shoulders stiffen slightly.
"Be careful Avatar Aang. I'm not looking to make any friendships." I stare back at him unfazed. 'At one point this would've bothered me, but now? Not really.'
"And neither am I. Listen, Toph knows you were telling the truth that day, but everyone else are weary of you, with good reason of course. But I need that safety net. The critic to tell me when I'm going wrong or being too idealistic. I'm willing to get you a pardon for your compliance in this whole thing if you're still keen on taking up your representative position again." I explain casually. Xiu eyes me dubiously.
"Why would you do that for me?"
"I don't know, maybe because you're part of the reason why I'm not dead right now." I say with a shrug which causes the noble to grimace at the reminder.
"I didn't mean for it to get that bad. I just didn't want to hurt my brother after all the pain he's been through." He sighs heavily and stares deeply into the table in front of him. "But it seems I've hurt him either way." I chew my lip for a moment and take a few steps towards him. I bend down so that my eyes are level with his.
"He just needs time to figure things out. Once he does that, he can finally look for new opportunities to find happiness again."
"It's not that simple." I nod my head in response and rise back to my feet.
"No, it's not. But if I could do it, then there's nothing stopping anyone else from doing the same, only themselves." Xiu scrutinises me for a moment until a faint smile appears on his face.
"It seems you're only getting wiser Avatar Aang." At Xiu's comment I shake my head in disagreement.
"Not really. It's just my experiences that have forced me to learn a few things." I refute quietly, eliciting a chuckle from the noble.
"Touché." I nod my head at Xiu's response and when I feel a throbbing pain in my back I decide it's time to head back. "Are you healed?" I blink at the sudden random question and focus wearily on the Earthbender, but when I sense an absence of evil intent, I sag my shoulders slightly.
"Not quite. The electric currents did a number on my body. Katara thinks my back might always be a little stiffer than it used to be, but it's nothing I can't handle."
"I noticed you were clenching your teeth." Xiu points out as he massages his forehead. "I should apologise for the part I played in this." I wait for a moment to hear the apology but when nothing comes I sigh. 'That's just how Xiu is. He puts himself so high up on a pedestal that he finds it difficult to say sorry, but I don't fault him for that. Everyone is different. And his comment is enough of an apology in itself.'
"The thought is accepted." I end up saying and it seems to have been the right thing to say as Xiu shoots me a grateful half smile.
"Well I ought to head back. I guess I'll see you in the next meeting." I comment over my shoulder as I go over to the door.
"Don't think this conversation means I'll be going easy on you." Xiu's snide comment makes me laugh out loud. 'There's the annoying noble that I both loathe and respect.'
"I wouldn't dream of it."
A/N: Well I will fully admit that I really enjoyed writing this chapter a lot. It's probably one of my most favourite chapters in the whole story. A lot of it came from my own feelings and thoughts so I hope it didn't seem too heavy. I do apologise for how long Aang's speech is, I know it can be a bit boring when a character speaks for so long, but I felt this was the golden moment and the point of change for him. He went through so much and I felt it was time that he fully realised how special he is and who better to say that to other than the person who made his life a misery for close to 4 years. So from here on out, no more moping Aang!
We're getting really close to the end now – only 3 chapters left! You'll be happy to know that I have finally started writing chapter 50! Because we're getting so close to the end, the next couple of chapters really aim to tie off any loose ends. I believe that I've got them all accounted for, but if there is anything in particular that you really want sorted out or touched upon then let me know in the reviews as there is a slight chance that I may have missed something, but I can probably still work round it and add it in.
As always please review and let me know your thoughts, especially this chapter, because I'm curious to know what you think. This chapter is probably the last long chapter, the rest are a little on the shorter side, although since I've just started writing chapter 50, there may be a chance that it's long?
Well, next update will be sometime next week! Until then, hope you all enjoy the rest of the week and thank you so much to you all for your continuous support, it means the world to me!
12/3/20
