CHAPTER 37 – HOW 'BOUT YOURS

Stanley leaned against the Tevro Sidewinder, his arms folded as he observed the group that had gathered inside the volcano. Light stands illuminated their protected pocket of space. Researchers, guards, and students milled about and talked nervously, some entering or leaving ships to look at their instruments. Every so often, the portal built into the wall high above would flash, allowing more ships to come inside. Often they would only land for long enough to drop off passengers, then take off again. Stanley didn't know where the citizens of Gravity Falls were being shepherded to, but he assumed it was somewhere safe. The pocket inside the volcano seemed to be reserved for the people who would make a difference in the upcoming battle.

Stanley's crew stood near the Tevro Sidewinder, clumped together as they avoided the humans. They eyed the Republic Enforcers landing in the volcano with suspicion.

A heavy-set man in a gray uniform stepped off one of the silver drop ships. His eyes scanned the area, his hands behind his back. Enforcers walked with him, their visors down. His attention settled on him. Stanley frowned. It was the kind of attention that cops would sometimes give him, pegging him as someone who was up to no good.

As the man in the gray uniform passed, he narrowed his eyes at Stanley. A scar took up most of the man's face, starting at his jaw and ending across the opposite eyebrow. It was difficult to tell exactly what facial expression the man was making, as it seemed to be set in a permanent glare.

Stanley matched eyes with the man as he kept walking in the direction of the portable lab, his arms folded.

"Republic Enforcers," Teo muttered. "I don't like that they're here, but at least with the impending apocalypse coming, they'll ignore us."

The Enforcers milled together with the oddology experts. Both Ford and Fiddleford had been missing for several hours, so most of the questions were being handled by a second-in-command in a lab coat. If Stanley wasn't an outsider before, he definitely was now. It was obvious from the moment their ships had touched down in Gravity Falls. Ford was where he belonged, talking with a bunch of other eggheads about anomalies, and Stanley... he was the stranger.

Stanley felt a hollow pang in his gut as he remembered his alternate self from that dimension, the one that hadn't been seen for years. When he said that he'd be on a beach somewhere, Stanley was being optimistic. In reality, he had no idea where he would go, or even if his alternate self was all right. When Ford had told him to go far away from him, Stanley had been too angry to think. Their version of Stanley had just left without a fight. How could he give up so easily? The idea was alien to Stanley.

Fiddleford burst out of the lab, casting the plastic flaps aside with the flourish of a stage magician.

"We've done it!" he said. Ford came out behind him with a relieved smile, the quantum destabilizer heaved onto his shoulder.

Everyone in the immediate area stopped what they were doing and approached. Excited chatter grew with the gathered crowd.

"I'm gonna go see what's up," Stanley said to Teo. He approached the group, then shoved his way to the front with the Enforcers. He earned some glares, but no one said anything. They didn't know how Stanley fit into the operation there, which gave him a degree of freedom.

"It's finished?" the man with the scar said.

Ford's eyes touched on the man with a start. "Captain Huxworth." His tone was flat as he regarded the man.

"Stanford Pines, dimension 47'\. It's been a long time. You're lucky your friend got you a pardon, or I'd have you arrested right here right now, apocalypse be damned." Captain Huxworth's voice held barely concealed venom. "How's your friend anyway? Typher Ayden right? I believe he promised us this very gun."

All of the triumph fled from Ford's face. At the mention of his friend, he paled. His shoulders lowered. At seeing his brother so deflated, Stanley wanted to grab Huxworth by the scruff of his gray uniform and tell him to get lost. Whatever happened to this Typher hadn't been good.

"Now, now, I think we can come to some sort of agreement." Fiddleford stepped between Ford and Huxworth. "I know his friend promised you the gun, but it wasn't his to promise. Consider this-Ford is the most familiar with his own weapon, and a great shot. How about we let him wield the weapon on behalf of the Republic? We can work together to defeat Cipher."

Huxworth thought for a moment. "I can see the wisdom in that. I do believe we were asked to keep Pines out of harm's way, but that's up to him. We can do our best to protect him, if he does want to wield the quantum destabilizer. The Republic would like to take this weapon for further study after the threat is neutralized."

Another figure came forward, this one lean and dressed in a simple jumpsuit. His dark hair was long, shaping a pockmarked face. Bruises covered his cheeks and a cut split his lip. Both Stanley and Ford jumped at seeing the man.

Ralph Gunther scowled at the quantum destabilizer. "That's supposed to kill Bill Cipher?"

Gunther's alive? The last I saw him, he was being kidnapped by a talking monkey. How did he get away? He looks terrible. Ralph Gunther was skinnier than Stanley remembered, nearing skeletal. His hair was overgrown, but at some point he had managed to shave. If he was rescued, it was recently. Two people stood beside him, a man and a woman dressed in fine clothing. The woman wore a lavender dress made of silk, and the man wore a suit with neatly trimmed hair. Each had the posture of a politician.

The woman in purple raised her light, barely existing eyebrows. "I think what Director Gunther was trying to say was we need a bit more information on this gun before we trust it to save us."

"I'm sorry, what's your name?" Ford asked.

"Director Varen," she said with a courteous smile.

"I did thorough research of Bill Cipher's weaknesses, Director Varen." Ford pushed up his glasses. "A weapon that breaks apart matter on a quantum level will destroy Bill no matter how powerful he gets."

Fiddleford frowned at Gunther. "I can vouch for the gun's design. It will work."

Stanley walked through the crowd, his patience waning. He approached Ford and held out his hands.

"Lemme look at it."

Ford raised an eyebrow. With the beginnings of a smile, Ford handed Stanley the weapon. It was heavier than he expected, and it took some help from his robotic arm to heft the gun onto his shoulder. He aimed at the far wall and pulled the trigger.

The gun lit up, letting loose a stream of light. The beam hit the far cave wall with a high-pitched crackle. With a few quick movements, Stanley attacked the material that was supposedly harder than diamonds. On the far wall, a fiery smile was carved into the warped stone. Stanley smirked at Gunther, who stiffened upon recognizing Stanley.

"Still don't think it will kill Bill?" Stanley said, his grin widening. He passed the gun back to Ford.

Ford laughed through his nose. The crowd stared at the drawing; some snickered, and others stared with disbelief.

"So, when do we leave?" Stanley asked. "I'm ready to get this show on the road."

"Dr. McGuckit, I'll trust you to handpick four of your people for this mission," Huxworth said. "I'll send two of mine. I think it would be risky to send too many into that dimension; the last thing we want is to be noticed."

Fiddleford nodded. "Ford and Stanley are two of mine. The other two know who they are."

"Then there's no time to waste," Huxworth said. He turned to Stanley and Ford. "Be on the ship and ready to leave in the next ten minutes."

"I'll meet you there," Stanley said to Ford. "I have some things to take care of." He glanced at his crew, still huddled next to the Tevro Sidewinder.

"I understand," Ford said. "And thank you for that. A demonstration was needed, even if it was unorthodox." He smiled. Finding a strap that had been hooked to the device, he swung the quantum destabilizer over his shoulder, hefting the heavy weapon on his back. Ford made his way to the U.I.R. ship.

Stanley approached his crew. All of them perked up, parting so that they formed a half-circle around him.

"That was something, Stanley," Lavnon said. "I think you could make a career out of embarrassing the Republic."

"Don't think I wont," Stanley said, grinning. The others looked to him, expectant. They likely pieced together what was happening already, but they waited to hear his words. "I came here to say that I'm leaving with Ford to take down this demon triangle. I'm putting Teo and Amy in charge." Teo widened his six blue eyes, his orange fur fluffing out. "If anyone gives them trouble, they have the authority to bust some heads. If I don't come back... well, you know." The pirate crew was silent as Stanley looked at each of them, tenderness in his eyes. He pressed his teeth together and looked away. "You've been a great crew. It's been a pleasure stealing with ya."

"Don't cry, please," Yada said, cringing.

"I'm not crying!" Stanley wiped at his face. "There's just a lot of dust in here."

Lavnon stepped forward and put a hand on Stanley's shoulder. Stanley looked up at his friend with his armored face like tire treads and felt something inside him loosen up. This crew was family to him, and his family had his back. "It's no big deal," Lavnon said. "You'll come back. I know it... we all do."

Atheko, who had been standing in the back away from the crowd, not drawing attention to herself, lifted her head upon hearing this. Her yellow eyes met Stanley's. She snorted and lashed her tail, looking away. The Mularian had spent a considerable amount of time moping on the floor of the storage room, starving herself and hissing at anyone who came close. To see her up and about was a surprise, but then again, there was only so long a Mularian could feel sorry for herself.

"Yeah," Stanley said, "I guess you're right." He stepped away from them, waving. They watched him go, most of them waving back. His eyes lingered on each one in turn-Cavesh, Jaxa, Gravel, Teo, Yada, Sraj... each one of them would now be impossible to forget. A younger him wouldn't have guessed that creatures so foreign and strange could be so important to him.

With a lump in his throat, Stanley turned his back to the crew and sprinted to the U.I.R. ship, coming up the walkway and into the main body. He found a secluded spot and touched his translator, switching to the communication option. He called the Tevro Sidewinder.

"Stanley, is that you?"

It was suddenly hard for Stanley to swallow. "Hi Amy. Listen, I wanted to call and say..." He shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. Stanley didn't consider himself eloquent; he only had what was in his heart. "I don't know what's gonna happen. I might not see you or the crew again. I just wanted you to know..." He sorted through his words, the right ones escaping him. Stanley thought back over their time together-the stress of escaping a fight to the death, running from Enforcers, driving for their lives, working together against terrorists. Through all of the unknown worlds, Amy had been something steady and friendly. She had been a lifeline.

"Ames... you're more than just a string of codes. You're not an AI servant to me-you're a friend. You were my only one for a while, and if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here now. I know you don't remember. You almost got me killed multiple times, but I want you to know that I don't regret any of it. If I don't make it out of this alive... I want you to know that you're a lot more than others say you are."

There was a pause. "Even if I can't remember those stories, it means the world to me anyway. Come back safely, okay? You're pretty good at surviving bad situations, if our stories are any judge."

"I can only try, Ames. Take care of the crew. They'll need you. If I don't come back... I want you to be the new captain, along with Teo. Don't stop the adventures because of me."

"Me? But I'm just..."

"Just an AI?"

Amy gave a soft laugh. "I suppose that doesn't matter. There is a part of me that longs for adventure, and I'm not sure where that comes from. It's not a part of my code as far as I can tell."

"Eh, code schmode. You're the boss now, Ames."

"Thank you," she said, her tone smiling.

"Goodbye Amy."

"See you later, Stanley."

Stanley ended the call. He laced his fingers and rested them behind his head. Stretching his robotic limb didn't have the same satisfaction as his natural one. There were no pulling tendons or loosening muscles. It was only hard, cold metal. He sighed.

He walked out of his secluded corner of the ship and found Ford next to a small window on the top floor, right next to the mess hall. Ford had pulled a chair over to a window, sitting alone as he looked out at the portal high up on the wall. Or was he looking at his reflection, a faint ghost in the window?

When Ford saw Stanley, he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm not surprised by your pirate status, to be honest. You always did want to hunt for treasure."

"Yeah, so did you."

"Yes. You're right." Ford's forehead wrinkled. "A part of me wishes I went with you. Then the multiverse wouldn't be in this mess."

Stanley recalled a memory from what seemed like a century ago. They had been laughing together after spending another day working on the Stan O' War. Stanley and Ford walked back up the beach with their tools in hand, shoving each other, both of them in stitches. Stanley couldn't even remember what they'd been laughing about.

"Ford... if we survive this, do you think you'll go back home?"

"I was planning on it. Why?"

"It's not too late for that dream."

Ford turned to Stanley, watching him carefully. "Sailing around the world?"

"Something like that."

Ford grinned. There was a flash of childish glee in him-the brother Stanley had always known, the one who had never really grown up. "You mean it? You still want to have adventures with me, after all this time?"

Stanley rolled his eyes. "Is that a yes?"

"Absolutely."

The ship rumbled, startling both of them. Stanley and Ford watched the ground recede as the U.I.R. ship rose into the air. The sound of the engines reverberated through the ship. The Tevro Sidewinder and the Maverick stood side by side on the ground, the alien crew surrounding them. Stanley activated his zooming vision and picked out the tiny members of his crew. Each of them was turned to face the leaving ship-even Atheko.

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Outside the cockpit window was a perfect view of Earth. Although the sphere was comfortingly familiar, there was something different about its color-a reddish hue to the clouds and oceans. The night side, which was partially facing them, was lit up not with city lights, but with gigantic, raging fires that flickered like bright rivers across the continents. The entire world seemed angry, like an infected wound.

Haver, one of Huxworth's Enforcers, stood in the middle of the chosen candidates and spoke to them about their mission. The group sat around him in a circle, paying close attention. He was a blond man with a long, crooked nose. Stanley sat near Ford and got a memory of sitting next to him in class while the teacher lectured. "Our scouts have found that Cipher has created a pyramid fortress, otherwise known as the Fearamid," Haver said. "It's currently hovering over the burned husk that used to be Gravity Falls." Haver held out his gloved hand. A green, digital image of a pyramid flickered to life in the center of his palm. "We believe Cipher frequents it, but he hasn't been spotted recently. Our job is to hang around, not be noticed, and strike him when he least expects it. Any questions?"

Stanley raised his hand."Yeah, I've got one. When's recess?"

Haver sighed and cleared the pyramid with the wave of his hand.

"What Stanley meant to say is we're ready," Ford said.

Haver nodded. "Then Terik and I will start the descent. We'll keep our eyes out for any activity."

After Haver and Terik pulled away to the pilot and copilot chair, Stanley, Ford, and two of Fiddleford's chosen candidates remained, waiting in anticipation as the ship descended to Earth's atmosphere. Fiddleford's chosen were opposites in every way. One was Imogen, a small girl with dark hair and an olive complexion, her eyes scrutinizing. As far as Stanley knew, she was a professor at parallel Ford's university and one of their leading scientists. The other was named Gareth, a guy that spent a lot of his time doing field work and just so happened to be around when Bill attacked Gravity Falls. He was more friendly than Imogen, and he had exchanged brief conversation with both Stanley and Ford in their short time together. Imogen answered with one word statements, keeping to herself, her face pensive.

"So how likely do you think this is to work?" Gareth asked, his tone light.

"I'm not sure." Ford cast his eyes downward. "That depends on a lot of things. The gun is sound, but anything could happen."

"What do you think Bill's doing anyway?" Stanley asked. "Is he taking it easy there?"

"I'm not sure," Imogen said. "Regardless, he won't be here for long. He's too hungry to conquer the multiverse."

The ship rumbled as it came through the layers of atmosphere, eventually coming miles above a forest of blackened pine trees. Through the cockpit window, Stanley could see dark red clouds and an X that stretched across the sky. The scar was surrounded by a swirling vortex of green, and beyond it, the kaleidoscopic Nightmare Realm glinted at them. The X seemed to stretch wider with every passing minute like a ripping seam.

Gravity Falls was barely recognizable. The town glowed like the burning embers left from a campfire. The buildings were little more than rubble, and the town was covered by the menacing shadow of a floating pyramid. The rift sat directly above it in the sky. The silent, lifeless scene was both surreal and nightmarish.

"Did Bill... kill everyone?" Stanley asked.

"I doubt it," Ford said. "He prefers to toy with his victims for as long as he can. They'll likely be slaves, or something equally horrible."

The ship lowered, finding a place to observe the valley on a rocky outcropping of one of the surrounding cliffs. Nothing moved below-no people, no animals, no strange creatures.

"This kind of quiet seems uncharacteristic of Cipher," Imogen said. "It's unlikely that he would stay in his palace. Not when there's chaos to spread."

"I agree, it is odd," Ford said. "It's almost as if... he's hiding from something." He glanced at his quantum destabilizer. His eyebrows pinched together with thought. "Fiddleford said that this dimension is the product of a failure to destroy Bill. That means..." Ford's eyes widened. "A parallel me would try to use his own quantum destabilizer. Which means he failed..." Ford looked up, a horrible realization dawning on his face. "He knows about the gun. He was expecting this."

The group was thrown to the side when something crashed into the ship. The ship took off, righting itself against its assailant. Stanley pushed himself off the ground and grabbed onto his chair. The ground shifted beneath them. The co-pilot mashed buttons on the dashboard while the pilot pulled up on the controls, but despite their best efforts, the ship moved toward the pyramid.

"What's going on?" Stanley asked.

"Something's got us," the pilot said. "I can't break us free!"

"Can't anything be done?" Imogen asked. She gripped the back of Haver's chair, her fingernails digging into the cushion.

"We can eject, but with parachutes, we'll be sitting ducks," Terik said. "I can't shoot whatever is up there."

There was a sound of metal ripping above their heads.

With his mouth pressed into a tight line, Ford reached down and grabbed the quantum destabilizer, hefting it onto his shoulder. Everyone turned to look at him as he aimed the gun upwards, blasting the offending creature through the ship with pinpoint accuracy. There was a screech and a groan of metal.

Anyone standing fell as the ship was thrust to the side, tossed away by the monster. The ship struggled to regain its height and hit the dry husks of trees below, cracking harshly against them. The ship twisted in the air and smashed into the dirt, rolling. With the artificial gravity still on, some of the movement of the crash was negated, but those who were standing were still tossed to the side with the violence of the spin. Stanley hit his head against the wall of the ship, his vision going black.

When he resurfaced, different body parts shouted for attention; his arm, leg, and head competed in a contest for the worst pain. Static flickered across his vision for a moment before his eyes rebooted. He blinked, his sight clearing. Stanley was on his front, his real arm contorted underneath him. He straightened it and rubbed it. It was roughed up, but it would be fine. The exposed metal on his other arm glinted at him, slightly scuffed but otherwise intact. His head pounded, and when he tried to sit up straight, he became dizzy.

The ship had come to rest on its side. The top of the ship had split apart like a baked potato, showing the earth and blackened trees through the crack. The pilot and copilot were both still strapped to their chairs, sideways. Haver shook his head and blinked, looking around in a daze. Imogen sat against the metal wall, a trail of blood leaking down her forehead, her arm cradled in her lap. Gareth was unconscious beside her, collapsed in a heap.

Ford was awake and well, and he was already crawling out of the gap to reach the quantum destabilizer, which had flown from the ship, fallen in the dirt a ways off. The gun didn't look harmed, but it was too far away for comfort.

A shape emerged from the trees. A goblin with eight-balls for eyes came to stand in front of the quantum destabilizer, cocking its head and watching as Ford struggled to get to it.

"No! Stop!" Ford reached out his hand. The goblin reached down, struggling to pick it up.

Ford leaped out of the ship and tackled the goblin. The goblin cried out as Ford got one arm around his neck in a chokehold.

Stanley got to his feet and stumbled, resting his hand against a wall. His mind was still fuzzy.

"He's here!" the goblin called. "He has the gun!"

A shadow fell over the ground as a shape rose above the trees, blocking out the sky with yellow.

"NICE WORK, 8-BALL. GET THAT GUN BACK TO THE FEARAMID, STAT."

Stanley peeked through the crack in the metal, breathing hard.

Bill Cipher, his single eye observing the wreckage with glee, floated above the trees. He was similar to when Stanley had seen him last, except now he was larger, and somehow more tangible. The lines of his form were crisp, his glow like that of a neon sign. Upon seeing Ford, Bill rubbed his hands together and lifted his fingers in a snap. Before Ford could even cry out, he fell to the ground, unconscious.

Another one of Bill's underlings-this one a pair of chattering teeth with legs-came out of the wreckage and slung Ford over his shoulder, bringing him to Bill. Stanley watched closely, his hand going to the gun at his waist. He kept his hand there, knowing it would do no good to fire. He had no backup plan, and if anything, his gun would only be a quick distraction before he was snuffed out of existence.

Bill lowered, his eye turning red. A white six-fingered hand symbol appeared in its center. He blinked it away. "ANOTHER FORD. THAT'S GOOD NEWS, SEEING AS HOW THE OTHER ONE BROKE!" Bill lifted Ford into the air with a single flick of his finger. Ford was bent in half, still unconscious. "WE'LL HAVE FUN TOGETHER IN THIS GRAND APOCALYPSE, WON'T WE I.Q.? TEETH, CHECK AROUND FOR SURVIVORS. YOU CAN EAT WHAT YOU FIND." Bill rose into the air and flew in the direction of the pyramid with Ford tagging along for the ride.

Stanley ran a hand through his hair. He could hear the chattering teeth approaching his hiding spot. He grabbed the gun from his holster and turned it on, ready to blast the creature into the next dimension.

The walking teeth came within view of the gash. Stanley pulled the trigger and blasted the creature in the feet. With a yelp, the creature ran off into the woods.

Stanley breathed out and lowered his gun. His hands shook. He walked to Gareth, checking for a pulse. There was a steady beat beneath his fingers.

"How bad is your arm?" Stanley asked Imogen.

"Broken." Imogen coughed and grunted. "It doesn't matter. We're dead anyway. The whole multiverse is dead."

He stood, then looked out over the trees to where Ford and Bill had disappeared. There was no one left to challenge him. Bill had won.

Stanley tightened his muscles and set his jaw, his brow furrowing. He pressed his lips together.

Yes, Ford was gone, and Stanley didn't know if he would ever get him back. But he didn't travel all over the multiverse just to deliver Ford to Bill's hands. His friends were counting on him. His brother was counting on him. Ford, for once in his life, was counting on Stanley after so many years. If he had learned anything from being a Mularian's slave, it was that the greatest weaknesses came out when the enemy was sure of themselves. Even though he saw no path forward, he knew he had to try.

No, we're not dead. There's one person Bill forgot about. He didn't count on me being here.


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