Shades of 'Casablanca'.
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CHAPTER Forty Seven
Dr Niemens never really trusted the droids to clean the examination rooms to her own especially high standards and so it had become Ana's duty to check that they had been done to that required standard and to reprogram the droids, if they hadn't.
This one had passed; she pulled off the white cotton gloves she used to make her check and prepared it for the next patient.
"Hi, Gregor, is it just the normal massage?"
"Yeah, thanks, it just keeps tightening up."
"Let me have a look. You know the drill. I'll just get everything ready." She patted him on the forearm. He was always reluctant to put his scars on display, he had not been put in Bacta soon enough to prevent them as the healing had already started but he carefully pulled off his top. Ana knew what to expect but the first time she saw them, she was shocked by the extent of them and how deep they appeared. This time, Ana noted his left arm was not moving as well as his right, this was where his scars were deepest and most prominent. On her last massage she had examined him fully, that wasn't needed this time.
Ana put her disposable apron on and warmed the massage gel; it wouldn't cure Gregor but it would relieve some of the pressure and discomfort from the scars, for a time. Only a skin graft could totally help and then prolonged Bacta therapy but Gregor would be out of action for weeks and the medics here didn't have the necessary expertise or equipment to do that.
She heard him groan a bit as she firmly massaged the affected area.
"Tell me if there's any discomfort or pain." She continued to massage, with a rhythmic firm pressure.
"S'good." His eyes had closed.
She smiled as she felt Gregor gradually relaxing under her touch; she continued to massage, his muscles and skin gradually releasing all the tension that had built up since his last visit.
"You never told me how this happened; it wouldn't have scarred so much, if you had gone straight into Bacta." She paused, "Why didn't you?"
He was silent for a few seconds and she thought he wasn't going to answer; she hadn't asked him the first time. wolffe had warned her and just said it was an explosion, a large one.
"It was during the Clone War; I had been marooned on Abafar, suffering from amnesia and Colonel Gascon found me. He told me who I was, showed me who I was, helped me remember who I was."
He paused here, with a far away look on his face; she recognised the look.
"If it's too difficult…"
"No, it's okay, it's just I don't normally talk about it. If I don't talk about it, its not real, it didn't happen."
"I shouldn't have asked; I'm sorry."
The room was quiet for several minutes with Ana slowly massaging the gel in, and Gregor giving the occasional grunt. "I've added more Bacta to this one, hoping it will last longer between treatments."
"It was why I found Rex…...Colonel Gascon showed me a hologram of him and told me who he was. Who I was. He was the only Clone I remembered after the explosion. After I blew up the spaceport and the clankers." Gregor had decided to talk to her.
Ana waited for him to continue, as he seemed to want to.
"Someone helped me recover but there was no Bacta tank, eventually she got me on a transport to a Republic base and I kept asking to see Rex; I don't remember much of that but I'm told I wouldn't talk to anyone but Rex."
He let out a deep sigh.
"Someone?"
"A local."
She waited but it appeared, that this was as much as he was going to say about that; it was apparently too painful.
"Rex's name was the only Clone name I knew. And he came for me. He didn't know me, hadn't met me before but still he came for me."
He was silent for a moment; "Ner Vod."
Ana concentrated on the massage.
"He tried to stop them; I know he did."
Ana was confused, "Tried to stop who?"
"Command."
"Tried to stop them from doing what?"
"Sending me back to Kamino…for reconditioning."
"Kamino, where you were….born."
"Our home world." His voice dripped with sarcasm over the next words. "That warm place where you feel safe."
Ana raised an eyebrow, that wasn't how Rex had described it.
Cold, wet, stark and brutal.
"Where you meet all the quality checks or you're defective. They needed to confirm I wasn't defective. I was reset. Back to factory settings."
Gregor had retreated into himself.
"Gregor…..Gregor? What did they do to you?" She dreaded thinking about what they could possibly have done to him after he had been injured twice and nearly died both times.
"Prolonged….. Advanced…. Intensive….Neurological...Flash…..Training." He enunciated each word clearly. "Appropriate eh?"
Ana suddenly realised what the first few initials spelt.
"I was there two months before they decided I was fit for duty again, like a blank sheet. But I cheated them, the Aiwha bait, I remembered Rex. I owe Rex everything."
Ana could feel tears well in her eyes that these men who had given their all, who had been so damaged, so…used, were then subjected to that. What Gregor had described sounded like mental torture. She looked away, blinking away the tears, regaining control, before continuing with the massage; Gregor grunted softly as his skin softened and relaxed slightly, then he turned his head to the other side and said matter of factly. "Rex is back."
Her hands stopped, seconds passed and she didn't continue.
"Did you hear me?" He continued.
"Yes." Her voice almost a whisper. "How long?"
"A couple of hours, he's in debriefing."
The only sound in the room Ana could hear was the sound of her own blood pounding through her veins; she was sure Gregor could hear it.
"He was looking for you."
He heard the hitch in her breath. "Me?" She remembered the last conversation, the hurt. "Why?"
"Said he needed to tell you something; I didn't ask why. He looked in a hurry."
She could feel a knot of apprehension form in her stomach, it tightened as Gregor spoke.
"I thought you would like to know."
"Yes...Thanks."
.
Wolffe was considering his options; he knew Rex was back and that Ana was still in love with him. He'd always known that and that he was always going to be the loser in this affair, whichever way it went; he had desperately wanted her and he would never hurt her but he owed Rex. He owed Rex what the Wookiees called, a life debt and it would never be repaid.
He ambushed her on the way back from the treatment rooms, pulled her to one side, and she leaned into him to kiss.
He held her back.
"We need to stop this, Rex is back and …..he wants to see you. He needs to talk to you."
His hand automatically went to her cheek and he felt her lean into it.
"Who told you?"
"Gregor."
Ana made a sound like harrumph. "And?"
"You know why."
"He said it was over."
"You're still in love him," Wolffe put into words, what they both knew.
"That doesn't mean we have to be together." She pulled away from him. "I can't face being hurt again. Not by him."
"We both know that you belong with Rex, he needs you," Wolfe paused, debating how he would phrase this; in the end he had to be blunt, "he's important to the Rebellion, more important than me, and you, but you make him complete, as a human being, not just a clone, or a soldier. You give him a valid reason to fight, not just some Republic concept, and not just because we were born to fight but a shabla proper reason."
"Wolffe!" The shock was evident in her voice.
"If you don't go to him now, we both know you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day and for the rest of your life."
He paused, not daring to stop.
"There is no longer any …..Us?"
There was a pleading look in her eyes, "I'm sorry." He finished.
Wolffe stepped back.
"I..." Ana started, the tears pooling in her eyes. Wolffe replied by carefully removing her hat and kissing her. This would tear him apart.
"We won't tell him about us." There, his decision was made, he owed everything to his brother and while she was torn, so was he but sometimes, if you really love someone, really, really love them you just have to let them go. He bent to kiss her again, perhaps for the last time.
.
Rex had already had a bad day; a bad day at the end of a bad three months. He had returned from an operation, initiated by General Draven, to find Saw Guerrera; almost immediately, after debrief, he went straight onto training duty with the newly organised SpecForce Team, incommunicado. It had covered training the new Commandos or Pathfinders as they were calling them and devising guerilla tactics, following a recommendation by Guerrera, if you could call it a recommendation but they had obviously listened to him. He and Guerrera went all the way back to Onderon.
Away for three months and on his return he was immediately in consultations with Sato on the latest intel, which was as reliable as the Republic's had been and then to top it all they were running out of supplies. The last relief run had just returned and the Empire had been very busy. Like he always said the Empire was not the Republic. He was here to see Wolffe, he had been leading the relief and supply team.
Then he needed to see Ana; he knew she was still here. He really needed to see her, to check she was okay. To explain himself, if he could. To make arrangements and see what Wolffe and Gregor had been up to.
Rex smiled to himself, he remembered some of the times he had met up with Commander Wolffe and he had regaled him about relief operations he undertaken in the GAR. He had not enjoyed them; he preferred fighting but planning and logistics were his forte and he did them exceptionally well. His office was near here, unless they had added more units, and he expected another grumpy tale of his latest relief operation.
He turned the corner and stopped dead. Wolffe was with a woman, in an embrace, Rex smiled and stepped back to give them privacy but he could still observe; his brother deserved something good in his life, they all did. His arms were wrapped around her, definitely a She, even though the figure being held wore shapeless general overalls of the Rebel crews and a hat; Wolffe gently removed it so that her hair fell down and he tipped her chin up, said something and then kissed her, on the lips.
Kriff!
Ana!
Fierfek!
He knew he didn't have any right to feel like this; he'd made his decision known to her but this, he felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach.
He could see it wasn't a particularly passionate kiss but he couldn't look any more. He moved quickly out of the line of sight and he backed up against the wall. He hadn't contacted her since that last time, he had thought...hoped…. she had left, that she wouldn't be here any longer, that she would be safe but Gregor had told him, she was still here. He thought that maybe…...that he could at least win her trust again…but he hadn't been around and Wolffe had.
Bastard!
He was angry, with himself, and with both of them. He had truly hoped she had returned home so she would be safe. But not this. Anything but this. He pushed his thoughts and feelings down; he had duties as a soldier to see to and set off to complete them.
.
The Ghost crew had been tasked with going to the site of an old Republic and CIS battle site to try and retrieve additional supplies. Rex wasn't happy about it. Too many memories and he should be headed for the hanger bay and the Ghost but...
"Haarchak!" He exclaimed and did an about turn.
The image of Wolffe and Ana would not leave his mind and he found himself heading to Wolffe's office, he needed to sort out with Wolfe what happened between them, whatever they had been doing. He stopped.
How the hell did he even get an office?
He didn't bother knocking.
"Come in Rex, good to see you too, Ner Vod." Wolffe did sarcasm that could cut through durasteel plate. He didn't even stand.
Rex leant over the desk, his face millimetres from Wolffe, he could see his cybernetic eye refocusing, adjusting for the distance.
"Command Spec Ops ok?"
"Stop being so Fekking polite, Wolffe, and you, you Fekking called me a chakaar."
"So what's got you all fired up?" Wolffe asked, knowing exactly what he was angry about. He'd seen him, watching them, as he kissed her for the final time. But it had been too late by then; he had to rectify this somehow.
"I saw you, the two of you." He was angry and he needed to get it out of his system.
Wolffe arched his eyebrow.
"And what did you think you saw, Captain?"
"The two of you, together, kissing."
Wolffe stood up and adjusted his stance, just in case; Rex was all soldier and Wolffe had hadn't seen him wound this tight in a long time.
"I won't lie, I kissed her, it was good, all I imagined." Rex was leaning across his desk now, totally on edge. "But she rebuffed me, Rex; I tried everything but she's only interested in you, although I don't know the fek why, after you treated her like you did." He turned to look at his charts on the wall. "Go, Ner Vod, she'll be waiting for you. You'll find her in the mess hall or the med bay." Wolffe braced himself on the desk, until he heard the door close. He counted to ten before he let fly with his fist, hit the wall and left a satisfying dent in it.
Fek, his fist hurt.
It needed to.
