Disclaimer: As usual, I just own this fanfic. J.K. Rowlings owns the rest, no copyright intended!

Ch. 39

Alice Longbottom

The centaurs dragged Dolores Jane Umbridge with them for half an hour as their punishment for the toad of a woman. Once they passed by a cave, the angry creatures dropped Umbridge in front of it before heading back into the forbidden forest. Dolores got up to return to the castle, but some kind of spell began dragging her inside the cave against her will. Once she was in, some rocks collapsed in front of the entrance to prevent Umbridge from escaping. Then a candlelit flame partially lit up to somewhat reveal a face, but Umbridge couldn't tell who it was exactly.

"SIT DOWN!" growled the person (who's voice was female).

Terrified (with her limbs shaking uncontrollably), Dolores sat down in front of the woman. She blew the candle to turn the light off. Seconds later, an actual light turned on and the woman was revealed to be Lady Alice Longbottom (her short, brown hair and brown eyes were a clear indication). Dolores widened her eyes in a mixture of shock and fear because she was once told that Augusta was the head of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Longbottom. Alice looked so furious that it would be nearly impossible to register the level on a scale.

"H-H-How could y-y-y-yooouuuuuuuu…?" Dolores tried asking, until…

"SILENCE!" Alice thundered, putting a hand up in 'stop' manner. Then she pointed a finger threateningly in the toad's fearful face, as she began a one, long angry rant. "You're a disgrace to our world, you filthy toad. You forced my son and godson into using blood quills to write sentences in those so-called detentions, more so with my godson. You even banned him from playing quidditch for life, which was not your choice. Only the head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports has that power. You even tried to get my godson unjustly convicted of using underage magic just for defending himself and his cousin. Speaking of that, I have a bone to pick with one, other manipulative fool."

Alice clapped her hands twice, which was evidently a signal. That was because Harry, Neville and the Longbottom's house elf, Milo brought Albus Too-Many-Names Dumbledore out. He was all tied up in magic suppression rope and a piece of cloth over his mouth with the silence charm placed to prevent the ole coot from speaking out of turn. Dumbledore had fear in his eyes when Alice got her face in his with one, nasty glare. Milo tied Umbridge up in the same way as Albus, much to the toad's shock.

"To give you a little heads up, Dumb-As-Door," Alice growled in his face (with Neville and Harry watching). "That wasn't really me at St. Mungo's with my husband, despite Neville and Augusta having been misled in believing it. It was my old, school rival who used spells to impersonate me while I was away on a business trip. My rival was Alecto Carrow, the only other known female death eater. She bluffed her way out a one-way ticket to Azkaban by using that stupid 'I was under the Imperius Curse' excuse, with you and the other corrupt ministry workers taking her and the other rounded-up death eaters' words for it instead of checking."

"How could you just interfere with Harry's life the way you've been doing?" Neville asked the headmaster in an angry tone of voice.

"Neville, let me take care of this!" Alice told her son in a soft voice. Then she turned her attention back to Dumbledore and growled once more, "I also found out from Mafalda Hopkirk that Harry resided at Number Four Privet Drive in Little Whinging since the night Lily and James were murdered, which was more than enough to blow my top, and you wanna know why? Lily and James specifically instructed potential guardians not to place Harry with the Dursleys because of the potential for Harry to face abusive treatment, but your lame excuse for that was because of something you called blood charms. I even went undercover to check for spells around the Dursley's house and there were no charms placed to ensure Harry's protection."

Albus was sweating profusely in fright, now that Alice found out about his plans for Harry to set him up to be slaughtered like a pig. She even waved the parchment listing them in his face. Then she waved another piece of parchment in Umbridge's face, which listed all the crimes she committed. Once Alice pocketed both, she continued her angry rant at Albus.

"You've broken the law a number of times, Albus," Alice growled for the umpteenth time. "You knew that Harry should've gone to Sirius Black legally, but you've overridden that just to control Harry. Since the Dursleys were never named guardians for Harry, you directly defied Lily and James' wishes. You even allowed Sirius to get chucked into a cell in Azkaban without a stinkin' trial, and you should've justified it because you're Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. You denied Harry a happy childhood, and a happy life for the last time, you ole coot. I was the next named guardian for Harry if anything happened to Sirius, but he still had custody of Harry because he was never really convicted of the alleged crimes."

Dumbledore was so frightened that it looked like he had aged to two-hundred years old. Alice turned her glare over to Umbridge (who was just as frightened as Albus), with special contempt on her face. Then Alice pulled out the parchment listing all the crimes Dolores committed and looked over it, getting more and more furious.

"It looks like you were an indirect accessory to Alecto impersonating me," Alice growled, yet again, to Umbridge. "This parchment listing her having used Polyjuice Potion to ensure it's success, Alecto spiking Frank's drinks with Amortentia just to make love to him without him resisting, Alecto cutting off my long hair needed to make the Polyjuice Potion work with the haircut spell before casting another charm to ensure it can't grow long again, and casting charms to make the polyjuice potion's effects last for twenty years? You've even helped to supply Alecto with the necessary supplies to ensure success? Now it's time for you and Albus to get some comeuppance."

Harry cast the spell to make the sound of hoofbeats, frightening the toad even more. Neville cast a spell to conjure some lime drops (similar to lemon drops, but green and more sour). Alice forced the lime drops in the headmaster's mouth. Albus involuntarily squeezed his eyes shut as the sourness of the lime drops hit his tongue. Harry and Neville took turns casting hair-growth charms on the toad, afro-style. Umbridge's hair was growing so fast that the weight of it eventually pressed down on her neck, eventually snapping it backwards and killing her instantly. Then Milo transfigured Umbridge's corpse into a toad before finding a way to deal with it long enough to get the evidence to Amelia at the ministry. Then Alice cast a spell on Albus turn him into a goat before kicking him/it outside once the entrance had been cleared away.

"Will we be dealing with my spiteful relatives now?" Harry asked his godmother.

"I took care of that, Harry," assured Alice with a smile. "Let's just say the Dursleys will be under house arrest… permanently!"

Then she apparated herself, Harry and Neville over to the ministry to help get Albus and Dolores rightfully arrested for their crimes. Concurrently at the Dursleys house, Alice's permanent house arrest for the spiteful muggles included conjured cactus guarding anything that could be a potential escape route. As the days ticked by, Vernon and Dudley were losing their large girths while Petunia (being skinnier by a long shot) was the first to die of starvation. That was because the plants ate all of the food in the refrigerator and in the cupboards. It took a month or so for Vernon and Dudley to become so skinny that they were weakening, with dehydration speeding up their death rates. After two more weeks, they were finally six feet under. Albus was eventually found guilty of all the crimes he committed and sentenced to spend the rest of his natural life in Azkaban. Peace was finally restored throughout wizarding Britain for the first time in years.

The End!

Author's note: Another one-shot finished, second one with Dumbledore portrayed in a bad light. Which girl should Harry be paired with in the next one-shot? Please let me know in a review or a PM, happy reading!