Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. I'm so happy you're happy! And YAY, HE LOVES HER.
DoloresDeeHowe, I wanted to say hi and welcome to my little story, thank you for taking the time out to read and comment.
Tammi: Oh girl! so much drama ahead.
Guest: In regards to them being slightly older has all to do with Ana's past. She only graduates from undergrad at 24. In this series, Kate is actually 26. I will explain that dynamic eventually as well.
Mineangels2: So much will happen after the wedding. Almost too much drama for our mamas, hehe. Their interactions at GEH will be...intense and comical. I promise.
Motherbeatrice: I think it's the fact that they're in a wedding. emotions are heightened. As far as the henna, aside from it being a traditional wedding ritual, Ana's worry about having henna tattoos is mostly because it can look disruptive, especially when it starts to fade from the skin, it can look untidy. almost like the visual effect of chipped nail polish. And we all known how perfection is required at GEH.
SianJohn, Shan36, sweetsub75: Thank you for your reviews and continued support.
I honestly which there was a way I could respond to all your reviews like a chat forum. Can I? I'm so new to this interface. That way I could respond to everyone's questions instead of constantly private messaging.
OKAY. Ready. Set. Read.
Chapter 9 – Baby I'm a fool who thinks it's cool to fall in love.
December 1st, 2019
CPOV
I feel Ana stir and open my eyes to see her. She's still in my arms and looking up through the skylight through a sleepy haze and lets out a small yawn.
I kiss her cheek and giggles turning and throwing her arms around me, burying her face in my neck as she throws her leg around me.
"Good morning baby"
"Mmm good morning Mr. Grey." She says still sleepy. I move to get a little more comfortable and flush against her and I feel my dick get hard against her.
"Tell little Grey to behave himself, I just want to cuddle. I have to save my energy for the Sangeet tonight."
I chuckle. "Miss Steele, he has a mind of his own. You're welcome to talk to him yourself"
She giggles against my neck and gives me a small kiss.
We're looking into each other's eyes and suddenly her phone rings. Who could be calling at this time and what time is it?
She turns to reach for her phone still half in my embrace.
"Oh shit" she clicks to answer, setting it to speaker and resting the phone on her stomach "Hey K-apa, everything okay?"
"Yeah babygirl, I finally made a decision on what song I want you and Karan to sing tonight"
"Finally, only took you forever, by the way what time is it?".
"It's 7:30" Kiran laughs.
"Did you get any sleep or were you too busy doing the dirty." Ana asks laughing.
"Oh girl you have NO idea. I'll tell you EVERYTHING when we meet" Kiran fires back. Ana rolls her eyes. I find this little window into girl talk very amusing. "I can't wait till you find someone Ana, sex is such a wonderful thing, give up the virgin spell already. You're 24 and you still haven't met anyone. I was talking to Vishaal and he has some friends I can introduce to you"
Ana immediately tenses and closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose.
"K-apa, what about the song?" She tries to deflect.
"Oh yeah, can you guys sing the Tera Woh Pyar medley?"
"YAY! Yes, of course. I was secretly hoping you'd pick that, it's perfect for a first dance and everyone can dance to it. Plus I won't be crying while singing for a change. Pretty sure everyone is sick of me doing that. I know I am."
"You sound like an angel when you sing and shut the fuck up because everyone I know is obsessed with you." Ana sighs and rolls her eyes. "I love you boo. I'm sending some breakfast your way. It'll be there by 9:30. Pancakes and tea?"
Ana looks to me, and answers, "Yes mama bear, also could you add some eggs and toast and fruit with a pot of coffee and milk. Kate will be joining me this morning." She winks at me. "Also please ask them if it's possible to send Luis to drop breakfast."
"Anything for you babygirl."
"Thanks K-apa, I'll come by at 11am to get ready." She ends the call.
"What was that abo..." I start to ask but Ana cuts me off "one sec."
She holds the phone in front of her and records and audio message.
"Kate, in case K-apa asks how breakfast was with me, tell her something came up and you couldn't eat with me in my room after all. Also please confirm when you have heard this message."
She puts her phone down and exhales and massages her forehead.
She starts to speak and then her phone pings. She checks and plays the message.
Kates croaky voice filters through. "Damn Steele, you hoe. Who are you and want have you done with my friend? I guess Grey really brought out the freak in you"
Ana laughs out and she relaxes again. "Fuck off, Kavanagh. Focus on your own Grey. Love you" she records and sends back.
She can feel me watching her. She covers her face with her hands. "Stop looking at me, Christian Grey."
I pull her hands away from her face and she's so embarrassed.
I ask her what she told Kate and promises me that the secret is safe and that Kate knows all her deepest darkest secrets. Stuff that even Kiran doesn't know and that Kate is her vault. I feel a pang of jealousy but I understand that she needs this.
"Why does you Kiran think you're still a virgin?" she tenses again.
"Because my sex life or lack thereof is none of her business. She just assumes stuff and I've never corrected her. Can we please not talk about this right now." Her tone is clipped and I can see her face tense a bit more as she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. As much as I want to know more, I change track.
"So what's the agenda for today. I've never been to an Indian wedding."
She visibly relaxes and I feel the tension dissipate from her body.
"Well, for starters this isn't as traditional as Indian weddings go, it's actually pretty whitewashed unfortunately only because Kiran isn't all that big on the traditional stuff, we cut out a lot of the rituals and ceremonial stuff. We're fairly chilled out with everything and we've been spacing the program out to let people really enjoy themselves and relax because weddings can always feel so condensed and rushed and it was important for me that people really soaked up this weekend and got to know each other and had actual memories rather than just suffering from the incessant wedding hangover. My idea was to have this feel like more of a wedding vacation..." She giggles.
"We have a small Hindu ceremony that will only have people who were at the Friday brunch. That starts at 1:30 and we'll be done by 2:30 or so. Then they'll be a buffet lunch and an area for everyone to relax and enjoy themselves, we've left it pretty open, we have setup some tables with traditional Indian board games for people to play and pass the time if they'd like to. This evening the program starts at 6pm the Sangeet will feel bigger than last night by the way, a lot is packed into 5 hours. We have a full band but with eastern music players coming in plus an over the top DJ. A million dance performances and it will be overload for all the non-south asians. So I apologize for the headache coming your way Mr. Grey." She laughs and I kiss the corner of her mouth.
"What will you be doing in all this?" I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Well, I'm singing a song for their vows at the ceremony, that's surprise for Kiran by the way, so don't tell anyone and then also for their first dance which I'm really excited about it's my absolute favorite, I'm singing that with my cousin Karan AND THEN 4 dance performances. The original count for me was 8 but then I cut it all down last month. I got tired of all the practicing and music management. I'm so fucking tired, I love these guys but these weddings kill me. Then the dance floor opens and that's another beast, which I might end up staying away from tonight. OH! And I have three outfit changes but I might just stick with two at this point. Even the guys have an outfit change from this afternoon to this evening. If only you were an official groomsmen too, I'd trade Elliot for you in a heartbeat. You'd look so handsome in a sherwani, Christian but I'm sure you'd hate having to keep up with all the insane dancing. God, I'm so tired, you might just find me in sleeping in some obscure corner by the end of the night" she giggles and it's a treat to her mind go a million miles a minute.
"What's a Sherwani?" She pulls up an image on her phone and shows me an example. It's a conservative and simple ensemble that I realize I wouldn't mind wearing. A simple white/cream long shirt and pants of a light material under a long tailored black or grey coat with flat indian shoes or leather slip ons. She then shows me some outrageous Sherwani examples that some people go for with bright colors and flowers that I would never be caught dead in. She laughs at my horrified expression.
I kiss her and stroke her cheek. "Did I tell you how beautiful you looked yesterday? I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. Watching you and not being able to touch your or kiss you was agony. So I took a chance and asked you to dance because I couldn't stand it anymore and when we danced, the way you smiled and laughed, I was aching to kiss you but I had to stop myself. There were so many moments where you just took my breath away and I can't wait to see how you look all dressed up today."
She blushes and tries to hide her face but I don't let her and kiss her some more.
She breaks away from the kiss and runs her hand through my hair "Christian, you're so sweet. You don't have to tell me, you make me feel it. I've never experienced that before and it means the world to me." She kisses the corner of my mouth as she relaxes and cuddles with me some more. This is a whole new experience for me. Something so simple as lying with someone arm in arm.
"Mmmm I might just fall asleep again, Mr. Grey."
"Sleep baby."
"I can't. I need to take a shower and do a bunch of things before I go and get ready later. So much to do and my brain is buzzing now."
She gives me a quick kiss and leaves me wanting more as she heads to go and get ready. I turn to pick up my phone and check emails and messages.
I end up napping for a bit and decide to wake up and go take a shower. I pass by Ana in the walk-in closet as she's almost drowning in the humongous bathroom and engrossed in writing a thank you card and making a small gift bag.
I walk to her and kiss her hard on the lips. She has this pull, I've never ever wanted to shower affection like this before. As foreign as it is for me, it also feels so natural.
"Stop distracting me Mr. Grey, I'm a woman on a mission this morning." I chuckle and let her be.
When I'm done with the shower and dressed I see Ana's dried her hair a bit and is wearing faded blue jeans that really show her great ass and a loose white linen shirt. She looks effortless. She sees me staring at her.
"Is there anything I can help with you with?" She asks sweetly
"A few things comes to mind but they're time consuming and require your full attention Miss Steele, too bad you're short on time."
She laughs and rolls her eyes.
We stand around in the bathroom doing our own thing, I'm leaning on the counter checking emails and messages as she quietly organizes her things and frantically texts and sends voice messages every now and then. Both of us are so comfortable in each other's presence.
"Do you mind if I play some music?" She asks distractedly as she walks away.
"Yeah sure."
She yells from the walk-in closet. "Siri, please play 92 explorer by Post Malone." The music starts to play and I have to laugh.
"Hey! Don't hate on Post Malone, his music song is essential to my morning routine"
"I don't, in fact I find him the most bearable these days."
"Well he's one of my favorites." She laughs.
As the song progresses she sings along with the most exaggerated hand gestures and acts out the lyrics. I can't help but smile, she's such a wonder.
She used to shoppin' at the mall (ooh)
I'll teach lil' baby how to ball
I hit Rodeo, spent like 40 G's (wow)
Four hunnid pairs of Gucci socks
She starts to dance a little more and throw her hands up in the air as she walks back into the closet to get something. She comes out singing and applies her perfume and runs her fingers through her open hair one more time. She smells of roses and it's intoxicating.
I walk up to her and stand behind her, pulling her hips to me, holding her in place and I slowly sway her to the music and she loses her breath, I trail kisses from behind her ear down to her neck and feel her temperature rise instantly.
Her eyes are closed she places her hands on mine. I push into her more and she moans.
I look in the mirror, her head is against my shoulder, eyes closed and enjoying the sensations.
"Place your hands on the counter." I command her. She follows immediately. "Good girl".
I pull her hips against me and grind against her.
"Oh fuck, Christian." She moans.
I unzip her and run two fingers down her and I'm rewarded with her wet arousal. I fucking love how ready she always is. I run my fingers up and down her lips till she's completely drenched and push them in. She lets out a gasp and grabs on to my hand, trying to push my fingers in more as my thumb circles her clit. I bite her earlobe and she moans loudly..."Christian...Christian...". I stop and I suck her cream off my fingers as she opens her eyes in surprise looking at me through the mirror. I can't help but smirk. "Miss Steele, you're the best kind of breakfast."
Before she can respond, I bend down and take off her jeans and panties as the song ends. "Play the song again." I command her.
"Yes, sir." She says softly. Holy fuck... it's like a dream come true hearing her say those words.
I pull her back to me and insert two fingers into her again and she gasps her head against my shoulder. "Look how good we are together baby." She opens her eyes and locks eyes with me through the mirror and bites her lip and bends to push her hips into me. She wants more. I spin her to face me and lift her onto the counter and stand between her legs, I unzip my pants and run my dick along her clit a few times as she moans. I look into her eyes, cheeks completely flushed, body ready to be fucked. I grab on to her hip with one hand and thrust into her with the beat and she throws her head back moaning loudly and it's a fucking treat to hear.
She's fucking exquisite. I kiss her neck, biting her making sure I leave no marks even though I want nothing more than to bite down as hard as I can.
As the chorus comes in I pound into her faster with the beat and I can tell she's close. Her hands are my hair and she pulls me to her mouth as she invading it and moaning, I feel the vibration of her voice throughout my entire body. It doesn't take us long till we come. We are so fucking good together.
As our breathing calm down a bit, her legs are still wrapped around me and our foreheads are pressed together, I kiss her cheek and tip her chin up to kiss her and bite her lower lip and suck it. She smiles back at me with such wonder that it's disarming sometimes.
She reaches out to turn off the music and starts to giggle.
"Mr. Grey, that's another favorite song of mine I have not so kosher memories attached to."
I can't help but laugh at her smart mouth "We on our way to a proper sex playlist I believe."
She kisses me and I step back to zip up my jeans and proceed to get a cloth to clean her up a bit and help her back into her jeans. She turns around to look in the mirror to fix her face a bit and I put my arms around her waist again and look her through the mirror, "Just how I like you, thoroughly fucked." I bite her neck lightly.
She laughs out loud and bites back "control freak!"
"Oh Miss Steele you really have no idea."
We hear a knock on the door and she jumps.
"That must be breakfast, finally... also stay here till he leaves." And she quickly rushes out with the gift bag closing the bedroom door a slight bit.
I shake my head. Miss Steele seems to be more of control freak than me.
I walk into the bedroom and listen from behind the door.
Ana opens the door. "LUIS! I'm so happy you're here. Why did it take you so long to come and see me?"
"ANA! Mijaaa, cómo estás i'm sorry but this whole wedding has been so crazy."
"Bien, bien. I know right? But it all ends tonight, smooth sailing from tomorrow. Tell me how is Rosa? Has she sent out her college apps, has she made a decision yet? I've been so crazy with this wedding prep I didn't get to talk to her after she visited Seattle."
"She sent them and it all depends on financial aid and scholarships."
"Tell her to call me whenever after tomorrow, I'm happy to help out in anyway. Also here I got you guys a little something as a thank you gift for all your hard work with the wedding and taking care of me."
"Mijaaaa, what is this? Noooo."
"Oh shush. It's just a Fraiser onesie for her cat. We both geeked out and watched back to back episodes, she's when she was staying with me. She's the only person I know who loves the show as much I do. Oh also this is just a little something for you."
She laughs and I'm so floored by the entire exchange. My heart swells at how much love and kindness she has within her.
"Mija, this money... it's too much. Please no."
"Luis, it's from the family, as a way to say thank you for everything, especially how you've taken care of me so not another word."
"Thank you Mija, you are too good to me. May God always bless you."
"Yeah yeah, just come give me a hug Abuelo."
I hear the door close and she yells "breakfast is readyyyyy"
We're quietly eating breakfast as Ana is engrossed in her phone, no doubt dealing with wedding stuff.
"Hi Isla, how are you?...I'm good, just a little tired but it's the last night! So close yet so far... listen I won't come by the breakfast area this morning, I have some stuff to do, could you please take over and make sure everyone is comfortable? Also, are there still any spa reservations left?... hmm.. okay perfect, could you please have someone from the spa go to Alia Khala and Mama's room and give them a foot massage? They were in heels all day yesterday and I know they didn't drink enough water and their feet are probably swollen. Same for the Matthews from the Bridal party, they're in room 206. I'd like to book them for a couples massage, Brianna had a miscarriage recently and I can see her feeling a little low and tired, please call them and slate them in for an appointment for this afternoon before the Sangeet... okay amazing, yes that would be perfect. And also please have breakfast sent to Nana and Nani's room. I'll go check in on them before getting ready... and what about the room full of games for the kids and the sitters for the night?... okay great. By the way, we have some guests coming in today and one of them have a 3-month-old newborn daughter, do we have access to any sitters who are nurses? I know the others are CPR certified but I'd like an extra level of comfort on that front... oh thank god, you're a god send Isla. Yes please if a room could be setup for some of the kids to nap or sleep like last night... oooh! Also one last thing, I have candles for tonight, jasmine scented, could we please have someone get them from the bridal party Hacienda storage closet and loaded out to the big room for the Sangeet, the florist will take care of everything else... uh huh... no that should be fine...thank you, thank you so much, I'd be so lost without you."
She hangs up and looks up rubbing her eyes and sighs then proceeds to eat again. Her mind still buzzing I can tell.
"You really think of everything and everyone don't you?"
"Hmm?" She says as she drinks some tea.
"You've thought of everything, how do you do that?"
"I want everyone to be comfortable Christian, I want them to feel at home and that someone's got their back. That's all I want. What's the point of life if you can't be of service and bring joy to others?"
"I'm in awe of you, Ana."
She smiles but there is sadness in her eyes. She goes back to eating in silence but I want to hear her voice, so I try to keep the conversation going.
"I've never met anyone who likes pancakes as much as you."
"They make my heart happy. They also remind me of dad. He always made me pancakes when I was sad. This way it feels like he's still with me" she shares.
I reach out to squeeze her hand. She smiles back at me.
"I'm so awed by how the entire resort staff are willing to do whatever they can to make you feel welcome. Like, even last night with Chef B..."
"What can I say it's the Steele charm" she flips her hair over her shoulder and continues "No but seriously I've been flying out here twice a month for the last two months to make sure everything with the wedding goes off without a hitch. We had them build some custom stuff for us so I had to come in a check it out and do food tastings as I was locking down the menu. And in that time I got to know everyone and we got close. Isla, the resort co-ordinator has been so on point and patient, Kiran is so indecisive and her wedding planner quit 4 months ago so I stepped in and we put this together from scratch. Team work makes the dream work baby!" She giggles and continues "I really got close with Luis, he took care of me during my trips out here. Don't say anything but he confided in me that he's undocumented and his grand daughter Rosa is absolutely brilliant and wants to be able to send her to college, so I offered to help out with college essays for scholarships and that if she ever wanted to visit Seattle she could stay with me... which happened recently and Christian she's such a sweet girl, she wants to go to MIT for their robotics program and I really hope she gets in on a full ride. She deserves it. I was hoping to meet her again but my schedule is so crazy. And god she has the fluffiest cat and I want a cat so bad..." she gets distracted and stares off into the distance for a moment.
"You give too much of yourself to people."
"Well, it's the only wealth I possess. My love and time, and yes I do give it freely. Whenever I do have money to spare, I give that too. I don't need much to live my life and I'm happy this way, I didn't grow up with much so I don't want for much either."
She floors me again with her confessional.
She pauses for a beat and climbs on top of me gives and me a kiss, she tastes of pancakes and apples, smelling of roses and Ana.
"When do you leave for Seattle?"
"I was actually supposed to leave this evening during the Sangeet but I'm going to call and switch to Tuesday early morning. Is that okay, I was hoping with we could spend sometime together?"
"Christian, don't change your schedule for me, the Gotha meeting is on Tuesday, don't you need to prep for that?"
"The meeting is at 2pm and if I leave here by 8am, with the drive up to the airport plus flight time, I'll be in Seattle by 11. I just have to show face and shake hands, Ros and Travis will handle everything else... what about you, when do you come back?"
She suddenly gets up and moves away a little creating distance, which I find odd.
"I'll be back on Saturday afternoon. I need some time off to recalibrate after this wedding, it's taken a lot out of me."
"When can I see you after you're back?"
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?"
She takes a breath looks to me wide eyed and with sadness.
"Because the moment we leave this place and land back in Seattle, you'll be billionaire and CEO Christian Grey and I'll be the broke legal assistant at GEH... and if anyone found out, they will all come for me and rip me to shreds. You'll be unscathed but me? The entire building will look at me as the girl who fucked the CEO. I just started making friends there and getting into a groove. I have a really simple life Christian, I love my friends and family and most of all my anonymity, I'm a nobody and if this ever gets out I'll be a somebody that people will look down on. I know my reality, I know what I really look like and I know my place in life. I don't dare reach for anything higher."
She takes a breath trying to hold in her tears
"I've been through so many nightmares in my life and it's taken me years to get to this point where I'm more than just barely surviving, I'm actually living again... and If they come for me then I don't think I'll be able to survive the mental trauma."
She's now fully sobbing but takes a few moments before she begins again.
"Right now, you're my Goa holiday, something wonderful I'll always look back on and no one will ever measure up to you but me, I've always been replaceable and it's a truth I've accepted about myself."
APOV
I say my piece and look back up to Christian. His jaw is tense and he's staring at the coffee table. He takes a deep breath and stands to pace around the room running his hand through his hair; I can tell he's frustrated and about to lose it.
"How the fuck can you say that to me?" He shouts at me and it makes me jump. This is the angry Christian Grey I've been trying to avoid. Holy fuck, this is not good. Just trust me, Christian... this is not a good idea. You'll realize this soon enough.
"You have no idea what the fuck you are saying Anastasia. The main problem here is that you don't see yourself the way I see you or how Kate sees you or how Mia sees you or how Elliot sees you.
From our first encounter at GEH I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I was dragged to this fucking wedding and had resolved to leave tonight. On Friday while Kiran was giving her speech, I kept thinking to myself that I wish you were here or that I was in Seattle with you. Then I saw Kate walk in and sit across from me, it clicked and I realized you were about to walk out my heart soared Anastasia, you were a godsend. I had no idea our fates would be aligned like this. It made me believe in a higher power. And the entire day I just watched you and I couldn't fucking believe you were a real person, every human being here talks about you and only you. All eyes are on you and only you. They worship the ground you walk on.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I don't care what the fuck the world thinks because what you have done to me in these last few days has flipped my entire world upside down. Mia said something to me on Friday night, she said that she barely ever saw me laugh in life and that this weekend alone I have laughed so much and it's all because of you.
I had private, contractual relationships, women who I would just fuck to get the aggression out without emotion and then move on, they weren't allowed to touch me at all, none of them slept in my bed, took a bath with me or met anyone in my personal life. I was never interested in dating or fucking hearts and flowers and all that shit. Marriage? Fuck that, it was never on my radar; I just wanted to make money and win. My only family consisted of Grace, Carrick, Elliot and Mia and I was happy with that. People thought I was gay and I didn't give two shits about it because I wanted people to stay away.
Then you happened. You have been a series of firsts in every way possible and it makes me want more. You make me want more with you, Ana. I want so much more with you. It just comes pouring out of me... As much as I want more, I have a feeling I may never be able to get my fill of you."
He comes and sits next to me and picks up my hand and kisses it.
"I ache to touch you and kiss you. This entire weekend watching you in your element, I got jealous of Elliot for a beat because you were so familiar with him and I thought you liked each other. I was envious of anyone who got close to you because I wanted to do that, I wanted to be close to you. That's why I asked you to dance last night; I wanted a memory like that with you. I have wondered where the fuck you have been all my life. When we slept together, I made love to someone for the first time in my life and it sated me like nothing ever has before. I haven't had a single nightmare since I met you and for the first time since I can remember, I actually had a dream and it was about you. Ana, none of this could have been possible without you. How can I possibly go back to not having you in my life at all? When you sang to me last night in bed, I realized I had fallen hopelessly in love with you. At the end of the world, I promise I will find you."
He's done talking and now staring at me, holding my hand as I try to form a coherent thought and I can't. I am so floored. Those last two lines echoing loudly in my brain. I had fallen hopelessly in love with you. At the end of the world, I promise I will find you. He loves me? He will find me? But...
I climb on top of him and sob into his neck and he holds me. I look back into his eyes and he holds my face with his hands, wiping my tears. He moves in to kiss me, slowly, taking his time, his thumbs stroking my cheek as his tongue dances with mine. I break the kiss and look into his eyes.
"I love you Christian."
"I love you Ana."
He kisses me again.
"I guess HR and PR is going to have their hands full with us." I giggle, breaking away.
Christian laughs out loud and we fall into another laughing fit.
"Miss Steele, what am I going to do with that smart mouth of yours?"
"Kiss me." I demand.
He leans into to kiss me again and we get lost worshipping each other.
We're lying on the couch when I hear my phone ping. Hair and makeup are ready for me. I kiss Christian and go to gather my clothes for the ceremony and leave the room.
Walking over to Kiran's Hacienda I feel like I'm on cloud 9, he loves me. Christian loves me. My body feels so alive, on fire like I can do anything and I cannot stop smiling. Baby I'm a fool who thinks it's cool to fall in love.
"I've been waiting for you babygirl." I hear Vishaal's voice behind me and I freeze as I approach Kiran's. Dread runs through my veins again and it makes me want to rip my skin off.
"Leave me the fuck alone, Vishaal. I don't have time for your bullshit." I bark at him.
"What's the deal with you Grey?" He asks menacingly, moving to stand in front of me. Oh fuck, he suspects something.
"He's just my boss."
"He seems to be a bit more than that. I saw the way you both danced. You know I don't like sharing Aana." He tries to get close to me and I take two steps back.
"Fuck off, my life is none of your business. He's my boss, he just stepped in to diffuse what he saw was obviously a difficult situation for me like any decent human being would. Not that you would know what the fuck decency is... and as for last night, he was just being nice. We work together and it was a friendly dance."
"Friendly dance? I wasn't born yesterday. However, maybe you need a refresher to help you remind you of your fucking place." Vishaal's tone is chilling and fear grips me as he takes a step forward and I get ready to bolt. No, you'll be fine. Nothing can happen to you here. It's daylight. Nothing bad happens in the light.
Thankfully Mia opens the door and steps outside to take a call but not before calling out to me. "Hey Banana... just got my hair and makeup done. How do I look?"
I smile at her and blow her a kiss as I quickly go around Vishaal and run up the steps to go inside.
Kate notices my worried expression and comes in for hug whispering in my ear "What happened Steele?".
"Outside. Dementor." Our code name for anything Vishaal related. It's the only word that accurately describes him. She hugs me again as a shiver runs through my body. "I got you babe." she whispers again and runs her hand over my hair. I try my best to not cry.
We all get our hair and makeup done and are ready to go. All of us are in different colored and styled lehengas. Kiran didn't want to force everyone to wear the same thing but encourage them to have fun and create their own south asian look for the day. She and I are the only ones who will do an outfit change for the Sangeet in the evening.
I go for a loose braid with some tendrils of my hair framing my face. My hair is thick enough to make a substantial looking braid; my hair has been the envy of every woman in the family. I hope it doesn't get jinxed and fall out eventually. I wear big heirloom earrings and some gold bangles with a few rings on both hands.
I'm wearing a cream white Sabyasachi lehnga choli. I feel a little uncomfortable with my blouse showing so much of my midriff but it is what it is. My skirt has gold embroidery on it with a tulle shawl wrapped around it.
My makeup is simple, just some tinted primer, light highlighter and a warm peach blush and lip tint, to give myself a bit of glow and not look so insanely pale. I forgo any eye makeup and decide to go all out for this evening instead.
I look in the mirror feel like a billion bucks. I could get used to this level of confidence.
Kiran is in a traditional red Sabyasahi bridal lehnga ensemble with all the bells and whistles. She looks breath taking. She is a timeless eastern beauty and words can't do her justice right now.
Daniel is in a black Sherwani and looks incredibly regal. They look so good together that it's criminal.
Kate is in a mustard yellow lehenga choli with her hair blown out to perfection. She pulls off the ensemble effortlessly like anything she ever wears. She's a vision. The color brings out her blue eyes and makes her sun kissed skin glow. I give her the elaborate choker I bought for her with matching earrings with bangles Mama brought back from India that match her outfit.
Mia is wearing a regal and beautiful dark blue lehenga choli and she looks equally amazing. A part of me almost wanted to switch ensembles with her. She has her hair straight with a middle part and a tikka and big heirloom earrings and rings on both hands. I can't stop staring at her.
We get done with all our pictures and get ready to head to the forest cathedral area on the resort property. It's an outdoor oasis surrounded by tall trees with a ceremony space where the Mandap is set up for Kiran and Daniel's Hindu ceremony.
CPOV:
After Ana leaves, I immediately call Flynn. I know it's a Sunday but fuck, this was a really intense night and morning that I've had and I need to talk this out.
Flynn answers, thank God. "Morning Christian, everything okay?"
"John, I told Ana that I loved her." I blurt out.
"Oh..." he pauses for a few seconds. "Well, that's quite a development from yesterday."
"I know. I'm... I don't know... we had this really intense night and followed by an equally intense discussion this morning and it all came pouring out of me... I... I... couldn't stop myself."
"How did the conversation start?"
"I asked to see her once she got back to Seattle and she said she didn't want that because as soon as we'd leave here I'd go back to being CEO and she would be my employee and if that were to get out she would face the brunt of it and that given her history with trauma she may not be able to survive it."
"She has a valid point Christian. Anyway you look at this, should news of this get out, Ana will most certainly be the target of abuse."
"I know John and it fills me with dread that no matter what I do... I can't protect her from that."
"How did you get to the point of telling her that you loved her and more importantly how did you get to that realization yourself?"
"John, she's unlike anyone I've ever met before and what I've experienced and witnessed of her, I can never go back to being the way I was. I can only go forward with her; I feel it in my gut even with all the small moments of panic at feeling something unfamiliar. As for telling her, she has extreme self-esteem issues John, I don't know where they stem from because she's honestly the most fucking beautiful thing I've ever seen but she sees herself as average at best."
"You mentioned trauma, do you know what she's been through?"
"She hasn't told me much on her own, her best friend mentioned that Ana was in a car accident and lost her dad in the incident. She was in a coma for 6 months and was paralyzed and pretty much had to relearn everything on her road to recovery, learning to breathe, speak, walk, the whole thing. Just by looking at her, you'd never guess she went through something so awful. I also suspect some sexual abuse but again, she hasn't told me anything. She said she wanted to be done with the wedding completely before she told me anything about the trauma in her life."
"Fair enough. It sounds like she's rebuilt herself quite literally from the ground up and doesn't want to jeopardize that and you cannot fault her for it."
"I don't, I understand where she's coming from but she's also unkind and dismissive of herself. Which bothers me and I just wanted to let her know how I see her and while I was making that speech, everything came pouring out John, I told her about the private contractual relationships, I just left it at that, I didn't go into the details or mention the BDSM shit but only that I had no emotive connection with anyone till her and how everything with her was a series of firsts and that was because I knew I loved her."
"Christian, that's really something. I mean you've made some really big strides in the last couple of hours. I'm honestly proud of you and the care and patience you're using to deal with this."
"Yeah John, Ana did your job in 2 days. I don't think I'm going to need your services anymore. It was nice knowing you."
John laughs "Fair enough. I deserve that but therapy is a two way street. You had a stronger connection with Ana and maybe that's what you needed. That being said you also allowed yourself to feel that connection."
"She told me she loved me back."
"Okay, how did that feel? I know how averse you've always been to positive emotions of that sort in the past."
"Well when I told her that, she didn't respond for a couple of minutes so I was naturally dying inside but she was just processing all the information I had dumped on her."
"I see. Listen this process is going to be ongoing, you both won't solve all your problems within a day, give yourselves the grace of time. It's only been a weekend, relationships take time and patience."
Flynn and I continue to discuss some more but agree that we need time and that no absolute decisions have to be made.
It's almost 12pm when I get done with Flynn and checking emails and messages. I call Stephen and Nolan and let them know of the change to plans including Sawyer and Ryan.
I go to get ready and head out to meet Grace and Carrick. I run into Mia on my way to the loft where brunch is taking place. She looks beautiful, so grown up and different and I can't help but kiss her temple. She beams at me and we walk together to meet up with our parents.
"You look beautiful Mimi."
"Thanks, Christian. Ana helped me pick out everything... so tell me how are you?"
"I'm good Mia."
"I wanted to show you something." She pulls out her phone and shows me two pictures. One is of Ana and sitting together at the bridal party table and leaning in and we both smile at each other. The other of us dancing as I dip Ana and she throws her head back laughing. I smile, I love that we have pictures of us from this time.
"So when were you going to tell me about you and Ana." Mia quips, raising her eyebrows.
"Mia, relax, we're just getting to know each other. It's a little complicated with GEH in the mix." I say trying to play down what really is happening between us.
"Yeah sure, whatever, I just want to say I'm thrilled. Even mom is, she saw it in your eyes on Friday night."
Oh fuck, Grace knows. Which means Carrick knows and eventually Elliot will, no, scratch that, the fucker already knows and it's just a matter of him going from raising eyebrows to opening his big mouth.
"Mia, out of respect for Ana can we please keep a lid on this?" I try to get some control on the situation.
She stops me and looks me straight in the eye "Listen Christian, I love you, you've been the best brother to me my entire life but you've been pretty shitty to yourself by not seeking companionship and even though I've only known Ana for a few weeks, I feel like I've always known her and she is a good person and you need someone like her in your life. I wouldn't want just anyone for you. Ana is the real deal. She's undeniably real... so what I'm saying is that tap that already and lock her in before someone else does." She cackles. I love this kid.
"Yes mom... now can we shut up about this and move on."
"Jokes aside Christian, please promise me you'll try with her?"
"I promise, Mia."
After snacking on some appetizers for lunch, we are ushered to the location where the Hindu ceremony will take place on the resort. We are escorted to a trail that will lead us into the forest cathedral on the property. It's a beautiful and peaceful sanctuary. We are cocooned in nature and the sunlight dapples through.
At the end of the altar is an elaborate canopy floral arch that has a decorative fire pit for the couple to take their 7 rounds around before they step into married life. Kate, Elliot, Mia and I take our seats on a bench that's close the front. We have almost front view to everything and I'm anxiously waiting to see Ana. The Indian priest makes his way down the altar with Kiran's parents. As everyone settles in, Scooter waits for Kiran and we hear the sitar player at the front of the altar start to play and the bride walks in with all of her brother and male cousins as they hold up a big red shawl over her head.
Kiran looks beautiful, she's adorned in the most ornate jewelry from her forehead to her neck with multiple layering of gold necklaces and a bright red outfit. The complete opposite of how she looked yesterday. She takes her place under the canopy and takes a seat with Scooter as the priest starts the ritual. 10 minutes go by and still no sign of Ana. I look to Kate and ask her, she smiles and tells me it won't be long till we see her.
Some more time passes and I'm about to lose it like the impatient motherfucker I am. I suddenly see something in my periphery and I see Ana walking in from the trail to the left of the altar, it's like she's in slow motion, a complete angelic vision in white, wearing what looks like a ball gown but in eastern fashion, similar in style to Kiran but much simpler, she glimmers under the dappled light and her skin glows. She looks to die for. Her hair loosely braided and swept to the side on her front. Adorned in gold jewelry, she's looks incredibly sophisticated. I'm momentarily lost. Ana takes her place by the musicians. Kate gives me a slight nudge in my shoulder and smiles.
As the priest finishes the round of prayers, the couple stand and we hear the sitar and guitar play followed by the table that eventually joins in. Ana takes one step forward and begins to sing, and it echoes across the forest, it's as if the world comes alive for her. She sounds like honey and she smiles as she sings, lightly swaying as a light breeze travels through our space. The couple take their 7 rounds around the fire as she sings. At one point, Nani and some other women and men stand and sway with their hands in the air to Ana singing, she beams and is suddenly overcome with emotion as she sings the last few notes. The couple finish their rounds in time with the song and everyone cheers. Ana, blows a kiss in Kiran's direction as she stands towards her right across from the altar at the front but not before looking back at the crowd and giving a signal. I see all the cousins who are strategically seated on the aisles get up and make their way to the front and stand on the far sides of the aisle some with and the others opposite to Ana
Once the couple walks out of the canopy hand in hand they are pronounced as married by the couple, they raise their hands in unison and every cheers, suddenly a song starts to blare through the speakers and all the cousins bend down to and head towards the couple dancing around them in a circle as they throw up rose petals. Ana leads the charge and she sways with eyes closed and spins around the couple with everyone, she's almost like a whirling dervish, a complete vision. I am at a loss of words. Everyone cheers. She dances her way back to Nani and her mom and brings them to join everyone. Scooter and Kiran sway holding each other and beaming, the music is full of happiness and warmth. It's impossible to not smile.
Ana gives the couple a big hug and then quickly runs up the altar with her cousin Karan and disappears heading back to the main area of the resort before the entire crowd gets up to head back for lunch.
We slowly walk back to the lunch area. Grace walks with me, holding on to my arm. "Wasn't that beautiful Christian, being in nature and god, Ana, what a voice and beauty. God's gift, wouldn't you agree?" She looks back up to me smiling. "It was a lovely ceremony." I nod. It was more than lovely, it was poetic, uplifting and a feast for the senses. I know what Grace is getting at, I can't give her the satisfaction right now. I need more time alone with Ana in our bubble.
The lunch area is set up at the Terrace bar on the resort, everyone settles to get their food and relax for the afternoon till the Sangeet starts. There are board games of different kinds set up for people to take part in, the winter sun illuminates everything and it's warm. I find Mia, Kate and Elliot sitting on the couches and chairs by the fireplace.
"I can't get over how Ana looked, she's looked and sounded like an angel. Where is she?" Mia gushes. "I know right, God I love that girl." Kate adds.
Where is she? I want to see her again.
I hear a bunch of kids yell "ANAPAAAAA" and my head whips in that direction. I see 4-5 kids run in Ana's direction and attack her with hugs and crouches down to their level and gives each and everyone of them big bear hugs and kisses, too many kisses, embarrassing them. She says hi to a couple of the guests and then looks around the room to find us. Our eyes lock and her face softens, she gives me a smile and walks over. She's all mine. I want her so badly right now.
"Hi guys, did you eat? Sorry I'm late, I had to do sound check with my cousin at the tent where the musicians are setting up" she says softly. Mia jumps up and hugs her "you sounded and looked so ethereal Ana. What were you singing and what does it mean?" she asks. Ana takes a seat next to Kate and rests her head on her shoulder.
"Oh it's an Indian song but kind of seconded as wedding vows almost, it was a surprise for Kiran she had no idea about the song or the dance at the end, I just wanted her to have a Bollywood moment." Ana and Kate laugh.
"Rough translation is;
These walls maybe weak but our love is true, the roof is not strong and that makes me sad. I promise to tell you everything, you'll live in my eyes and I'll laugh with you for life. I drank the holy water, I saw the essence of God within you and that is why I worship you. It's a happy day, God brought these two hearts together, it's time to celebrate their wedding day."
"God, that is so beautiful Ana." Mia says, she's so in love with the idea of love. I can see it. Ana reaches out her hand, signaling Mia to grab it and gives it a squeeze.
"Steele, you want to eat something?" Kate asks. "Yes please, I need to get my henna done so would like to stuff my face before my hands are out of commission for the next 3 hours." She laughs. Ana's cousin Priya comes up to us with a bowl and a tube of henna and sits on a stool next to Ana. She starts to apply henna on her hands. As the henna starts to dry a little, Ana takes a cotton ball from the bowl and applies a solution on to the green paste on her hands. Elliot asks her what's she's doing and she tell him that it's a mixture of lemon and sugar to help it dry faster and lock in the color.
"So Steele, why do your cousins call you Aanapa?" Elliot asks.
"Well, apa means older sister in hindi/urdu and calling me Ana apa, was just too long, so they just decided to call me aanapa as one word. Everyone in the family and the south Asian community calls me Aana since it's more natural for them to say it that way."
"Not gonna lie, Aanapa sounds like tapas!" Elliot laughs.
"Not everything that pops into your head needs to be said Elliot." Ana deadpans and then immediately giggles and I can't help but laugh. I love that she put him in his place.
"Fuck off Christian." Elliot laughs and Ana winks at me.
"I'm done Aanapa, do you like it?" Priya asks. "It's beautiful babies, thank you so much. Show me that cheek so I can embarrass you with kisses!" Priya reluctantly leans down and Ana gives her a big kiss and they both giggle. I love how affectionate she is with everyone. Ana, sinks in to the sofa, holding her hands out. It's comical. She looks like a lazy Queen as Kate feeds her. Mia climbs on the couch as well and cuddles with Ana as she's sandwiched between Kate and Mia. Elliot takes a quick picture of them talking to each other animatedly. Watching them is hilarious and endearing at the same time.
"Guys what time is it? I need to head out at 4:30pm" Ana asks.
"It's a little after 4." I tell her. She relaxes a little more. "Steele are you wearing the red or the pink ensemble tonight." Ana looks to Kate and arches an eyebrow and it's a secret communication. "YESSSS GIRL! I am so proud of you!" Ana giggles. I am desperate to know what that means.
Sometime passes and I tell Ana it's 4:30 and she sighs and makes her way to get up without use of her hands and forearms proceeds to fail spectacularly. She tries to stand and then immediately falls back down and then starts howling with laughter. "Yo Steele, you okay?" Elliot asks concerned. "Yeah I'm fine, my leg fell asleep and it just tickles plus that fall was embarrassing." Ana tries to calm her laughing. I can't help but smile, she's so adorable. Just as I resolve to get up and help her, Kate and Mia are back from the ladies room and help her stand. She gives them armless hugs and tells us she'll see us at 6pm. I watch her walk away, her skirt sways from side to side, she looks every bit the angel I know she is.
I can't wait to see her at the Sangeet later this evening.
Authors Note: Holy moly, what a confession.
Pinterest: I'm honestly at my wits end. I created some detailed boards for each chapter but some of you aren't able to find it. UGH. My username is paleseptember10 - www dot pinterest dot com/paleseptember10/50-shades-of-love-and-light/ - please do check out the Chapter 9 one to get a full scope of what the day looked like!
Music:
92 Explorer - Post Malone
Baby I'm a Fool - Melody Gardot
Kanda Kacheya - Jyotica Tangri Ft. Tarnvir Jagpal - song that Ana sings during the ceremony.
Kalank - Arjit Singh (3:48 onwards till the end): this plays when the couple is announced as married and all cousins dance around them.
