Author's Note:
Yes, hello there fellow reader who has made it this far in the story, it is I; the Author (obviously) of the story. I will try to breeze through this as to not distract you, so just hold on for a little bit longer.
I wanted to say thank you to those who have favorited and followed this story, it means a lot to me, and I wanted to thank all the people who have viewed this story. I honestly didn't think to get this far, but I'm happy that people have stumbled upon the story. I would also like to say that after this first installment is done, I promise I will go back and reread all the old chapters and spruce/fix up my writing style (as it feels lack luster). I also broke up this chapter into two parts because, well, it was bordering 50 pages.
Now, usual disclaimers: all quotes/dialogues and characters do not belong to me, all those rights go to marvel. Also Warning: this chapter contains mentions of abuse and
Without further delay, happy reading!
His teeth chattered as he rubbed his arms up and down, trying any means to warm himself up. The snowstorm had gotten worse, and he could feel the air drop in temperature. He could feel the way the snow kissed his cheeks, how the chilly air tried to seep into his bones. He absolutely hated the cold, but he needed to find him. He was lost somewhere, and he needed to be rescued.
He could feel his body starting to give up, but his resolve was strong. He needed to find him as fast as possible, he couldn't live without his fella.
He made his way through the frozen tundra, trees heavily laced with snow. As he went deeper, he felt ice start to form around his body, clinging to his torso and arms, hugging his legs to slow down his footsteps. He felt the thick snow crunching under his feet, leaving a small numbing feeling in his toes. The chattering of his teeth got worse, and his body was losing heat abruptly, his eyes started to get heavy, exhaustion setting in, making him want to give up and collapse onto his knees.. He started to panic. His breathing became a bit shallow and his body started to shake violently, but he pressed on. He needed to find Tony and fast.
Just then he saw something. The familiar hues of gold and red catching his eyes. He felt a random surge of warmth suddenly course through him, and started to run in the direction of the other male, ecstatic that he was able to find his lover. He could wrap his arms around Tony and finally feel an actual source of warmth that was all but null void of his body.
That's when the worst happened.
He heard a loud, sickening crack of ice under his feet, shattering like glass windows, and felt himself submerged in water, the freezing temperature hitting his body, wrapping invisible arms around his body, coiling, trapping him in a state of shock. He wanted to scream, but his mind all but stopped as soon as he hit the water. He could feel his body beginning to shut down just like how it did when he crashed the Valkyrie, the same feeling of ice pooling around his body, trying to encase him once more like it did 70 years ago.
He looked up and saw him. He saw Tony, standing above the crack in the ice trying to reach out for him. He willed his hand to reach up and try to grab his outstretched hand, but it was too late. He felt his body shutdown, and he could feel himself falling to the bottom of the water. He could still make out the vibrant colors of the armor as his eyes trembled in fear, gaze fixated on the familiar colors that were slowly being lost from his vision. He felt himself slipping more, and the colors of the Iron Man suit was nothing more than a spec of dancing black spots, clouding his vision, replacing the image of the man he would no longer see again.
He jolted from his spot on the bed, heart beating violently in his chest as he struggled to breath. He shivered as he could still feel the invisible arms around him, hugging his body. He looked around, noticing he was still in Tony's room. He released a shaky breath he didn't know that he was holding, and as he looked next to him, he realized said genius was nowhere to be found.
"Captain Rogers, do you need me to get Mr. Stark? It seems you are having the beginning of a panic attack." Said JARVIS.
"No! No, you don't need to do that just… Where's Tony?" Steve asked in a hushed voice.
He felt… Strangely cold.
It's as if the warmth in his body suddenly didn't exist anymore, like it was slowly being taken away without him noticing. And it scared him. He started to shake and found it harder to breathe. His mind was lost, in a state of shock, the feeling of coldness crept up all around him, coiling around him like a python would its prey. He didn't like it, he needed warmth, he needed to feel safe.
"He's in his workshop upstairs. However, are you going to be alright, Captain Rogers?" The AI asked. It almost felt like… He was sad to see Steve in such a state of shock, concerned, even.
Steve threw the covers off of him and began his trek to the roof of the tower.
"I'll be fine JARVIS, but thanks for caring."
"You are most welcome."
When the elevator doors closed the blonde let out a shaky breath. He could still feel his heart beating at a rapid rate, but it thankfully decreased back in speed as the elevator ascended. When the elevator doors opened, he proceeded to go head towards the workshop. As he got closer, he could vaguely make out the figure of the genius, moving around at his desk. He noticed the man working on the same suit he had prior to the attack on his mansion.
"Hey, Tony?" Questioned Steve. The brunette's head shot up at the sound of his name, turning around in his chair and smiling at his blonde boyfriend.
"Yea babe? I thought you'd still be sleeping by now." Replied Tony.
"I could ask you the same thing," Steve said, making his way towards his partner. He wrapped his arms around Tiny waist, pulling him close. He leaned down and pressed a small kiss on his lips, which the genius happily returned. As he smiled against the other's lips, he felt warmth slowly creep up on him; as if the cold sensation he felt earlier ceased to exist. When they parted, Tony happily took Steve's hand and patted the seat next to him.
"Why are you up so early? I mean, I know you're a super soldier and you don't really need sleep, but is there something bugging you?" Tony asked.
"Well that is true, and I really regret sleeping this time around." Steve said, looking down at their entwined hands and playing with Tony's fingers.
"What's wrong?"
Steve sighed and then looked into Tony's eyes, a frown residing on his face.
"I uh… Had a nightmare." Steve said softly. He felt Tony run his hands through his hair and it helped him relax. He eased into the touch and closed his eyes, a smile nestling it's way onto his face.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Steve thought for a moment whether he should keep the nightmare to himself so he didn't worry Tony. He knew the genius suffered through his own. He was there for Tony when he had a panic attack early in the morning, and ever since then he's been worried for the other male. He didn't want to stress his fella out more than he probably already was. However, since they were now in a relationship, maybe telling the truth would help a whole lot better.
"I had a dream where I was in an arctic tundra looking for you. I absolutely hate the cold, but I had to get you back. I don't know who took you, but you were there and I couldn't live if something happened to you. As I got further into the area, my body started to shut down," he let out a shaky breath before continuing, "I could feel ice cradling my body as I kept going, as if there were invisible arms holding be back, my feet going numb as I continued to push through the snow. Then, when I saw you I started running over to you and then," he paused and squeezed his lover's hand, "there was an icy lake under me and I fell through. I started to sink to the bottom, losing sight of you as I got lower." Steve swallowed the lump in his throat and felt his heartbeat quicken. The recollection of the nightmare was just as bad as living through it, and it made him uneasy.
"If it makes you feel any better, I have nightmares too-"
"Yea, but I already knew that," Interrupted Steve, "I was there when you had the panic attack and-"
"But if I told you what they were about would that make you feel better?" Interrupted Tony. Steve thought for a second and then nodded his head, prompting Tony to continue. "I still have nightmares about New York, and sometimes I have nightmares about Afghanistan. Then there are nightmares where," he paused and looked into Steve blue eyes, " where I lost you, and I felt just as helpless as you did. The worst part is, sometimes there's a voice inside my head that seems to know me. I can't hear it completely, but I know it's there. I want you to know that I'm here for you Steve, we can conquer these demons together."
"I think I'd like that." Steve smiled, rubbing his thumb over Tony's knuckles. "I'd like that very much. I'm here for you too honey, till the end of the line." He smiled knowing how cheesy it was to say that, especially since it was his and Bucky's catchphrase growing up. That still didn't take away the meaning it held after so much time has passed.
"Ya know it's funny, I spent all my life hating you, and now, I absolutely adore you." Blurted Tony. He didn't know what compelled him to suddenly tell the blonde this information, but he kept going. "My dad never loved me growing up, in fact he actually hated me. You on the other hand, he'd always praise you whenever he talked about you. I thought you were cool, you were my hero growing up, helped me get through my childhood. As the years went by, I realized that Howard never saw me the way he saw you." He felt a prickling sensation in the back of his eyes, tears starting to well up, but he continued, looking at Steve's mesmerizing blue eyes. "He was abusive to me and my mom, sometimes hitting me with a belt, and other times he'd just say "fuck it" and use his fist. All the bruises, bloody noses, welts, all the pain I had to endure, and I thank her from the bottom of my heart for protecting me. I love her for all she ever did for me. There were also days where I was hoping you'd save me since you didn't like bullies, but somewhere I despised you." He flattened his lip into a thin line and shrugged his shoulders, fighting back the tears threatening to spill over. "I hated how Howard paid more attention to you; hell, he practically told me he always wished I was like you. I could never live up to the great Captain America, and the fondness I had for you turned cold. So, out of spite, I hated you too. Now I don't know what I'd do without you…"
He closed his eyes and let a few tears run down his cheeks. He shortly felt two arms wrap around him, pulling him close. He held onto Steve, head rested on his shoulder, sobbing a little bit as he recalled every bit of torture he had to endure with his mom. He remembered every beating, every drunken fueled rage unleashed upon them, every hot piece of equipment Howard would make him hold as a child, and every time he dropped it he would get yelled at. That's why Tony never liked to be handed things. It stemmed from his father's abusive behavior, and he was always too scared to accept things from anyone in fear that the object being handed to him was scalding hot, and he would be forced to drop it.
"I'm truly sorry Tony… I never knew you went through something like that. If I were around at the time and I knew what Howard was doing to you and your mother, I would've stood up for you both. It's unacceptable a father would do something like that to his wife, let alone his own son. I don't know if it means anything to you, but I won't let anybody hurt you as long as I'm around." Reassured Steve.
Tony's once loud sobs diminished themselves into tiny sniffles as he felt himself relax against the blonde's shoulder. He smiled sadly, touched by Steve's words. He felt guilty that just because of his horrible father, he had resorted to hating this man, which was absolutely unfair. Without truly realizing it, he grabbed Steve's wrist, leading his hand under his shirt, brushing against his warm skin, and finding its resting spot on the Arc Reactor. He felt the super soldier tense up, his fingers brushing over the contraption and the skin around it. Tony swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to calm his nerves. The irrational fear of the Arc Reactor being ripped from his chest was slowly slithering it's way into his mind. He knew Steve wouldn't do something like that; the super soldier wore his heart on his sleeve, and Tony never saw any malicious intentions, nor did he ever feel threatened when he was around Steve. He put all his trust into Steve, and it helped him to warm up to the idea of exposing his biggest fear.
"I trust you," he whispered, body relaxing just a little bit. "You already know that this thing in my chest is keeping me alive. There was a time when someone I trusted ripped this out of my chest." He let out a shaky breath, remembering when Stane stood over him, that wicked, murderous smile on his face as he ripped the Arc Reactor out of his chest. "I felt myself dying slowly, like the Shrapnel was slithering its way downwards, entering my heart and killing me. I felt my breathing become shallow. Ever since then I've had this irrational fear of letting anybody, except Pepper, touch the Arc Reactor, but now… I trust you with my life Steve."
Steve was shocked to say the least, unable to find the proper words to describe how he was feeling right now. It touched him to know that Tony was brave enough, in this vulnerable moment, to tell him about his fears, let alone trust him with his life. As he felt the genius slowly relax, he kept his hand over the Arc Reactor, gently rubbing his fingers along the outer edges of the object. He kissed the side of Tony's head and continued to hold him close, resting his chin on the top of the other males head.
"I'm sorry you went through so much Tony, and I'm sorry for everything I said on the helicarrier." Before the genius could voice his thoughts to him, he continued. "I know you said it's fine, but you've sacrificed yourself twice already. The second time I thought… That you wouldn't make it back. The guilt ate away at me and I wouldn't ever forgive myself if I didn't say sorry one more time. So, once again, I'm sorry for what I said Tony. Can you please forgive me?"
Tony smiled at the blonde in front of him, words laced with deep regret and sadness, just at the mere thought of never seeing Tony again. He leaned forward and placed a small, chaste kiss on his lips before pulling away. "I already have Steve," he said, squeezing the hand that was under his shirt and on the Arc Reactor, before standing up. "Let's go back to bed, we should try to get some sleep before we have to go to Sokovia."
"You're right, and I will say I missed your presence in bed." Steve replied, smirking at Tony before standing up as well. As they made their way towards the elevator, Tony suddenly said,
"Oh wait, shit, I almost forgot to show you this." He turned back around and walked towards the back part of his lab, grabbing Steve's shield and glove, casually bringing it to him.
"I figured the team could use some new gear and well, I spruced up your shield. If it ever gets lost in battle and you need it, there are electromagnets on the glove that match the ones on the shield. Once you activate them, it'll come flying to you." Explained Tony, a smile on his face.
Steve looked at him and copied the same smile on Tony's face. He felt happy and kinda giddy knowing the genius would do something like this for him, let alone the entire team. He was so going to have to repay Tony for this.
"Oh, and your motorcycle is in the garage. I fixed it after the incident at the mansion, and I think you'll like it. Now off we go to dreamland!" Exclaimed Tony. He put down Steve's new enhanced gear and took his hand in his, leading him into the elevator and back to Tony's room.
They snuggled up together once more, Tony's head on Steve's chest, and Steve's head on top of Tony's, arms around each other in a warm, comfortable, loving embrace, that brought a smile to both of their faces. Tony could hear Steve's heartbeat at a soothing, almost hypnotic, yet rhythmic way that helped him to relax. He kissed his chest, which in return caused Steve to kiss his forehead, before both of them fell asleep.
The mission was simple; infiltrate the Hydra bunker, find Strucker, take him into S.H.I.E.L.D. custody, and retrieve Loki's Scepter. Easy enough right? Well, perhaps easy is what the Avengers were expecting when they arrived.
Once the team; minus one hammer wielding Asgardian, was assembled, Natasha thoroughly debriefed them on the information she collected. As they were apart to depart towards Sokovia, they felt a small thud on the ramp entrance of the Quinjet. There stood, in all his usual metallic armor and red cape, typical Asgardian warrior prince fashion, Thor. Natasha was the first to sigh, wasting no more time, as somewhat happily, debriefed him on the situation as they took off.
As the appearance of snowy trees came within view, notifying their arrival in Sokovia, they assembled a plan. Steve and Tony would enter the bunker; Tony had the job of retrieving the scepter, and Steve would be in charge of retrieving Strucker. Before Steve could enter the bunker, he and the rest of the team would deal with whatever Hydra soldiers were on the battlefield until Tony gave the all clear that Steve could come in. The plan was simple enough, but sometimes plans change unexpectedly.
When they hit the ground running, Hydra soldiers were already alerted of their presence, and proceeded to defend the bunker on the snowy tundra outskirts of Sokovia. Tony and Thor took to the skies, while Steve, Clint, Hulk, and Natasha took to the ground. Bruce wasn't originally supposed to be part of the ground battle, but with the giant cannon like bunkers shooting at them, it was a good time for what the team like to call: a "code green."
As Steve and the rest of the Avengers including Thor were taking down Hydra baddies, Tony's eyes spotted the giant castle shaped bunker they were debriefed about. He zoomed closer and closer to the giant building, about to break through the roof, but was met with a forcefield that ricocheted him away, sending him spiraling out of control in the air for a little bit.
"Shit!" He yelled.
"Language!" Steve yelled back. Tony furrowed his eyebrows and scrunched his face in confusion. Out of all the many times Tony has sworn, whether outloud or in front of the Captain, why would he make such a big deal about this now. Before he could make a comment about the Captain, Steve continued by saying, "JARVIS, what's the view from upstairs?"
"The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker's technology is well beyond any other Hydra base we've taken."
"Loki's scepter must be here. Strucker couldn't mount this defense without it. At long last," chimed Thor, prompting everybody else to start talking into their comm devices as well.
"At long last is lasting a little long, boys." Said Natasha, shortly after taking out some Hydra soldiers.
"Yeah. I think we lost the element of surprise," Clint replied, shooting arrows, and effectively taking out the soldiers from a distance. This is when Tony decided to take back center stage before anybody could say another word.
"Is no one seriously going to comment on the fact that Cap just said, "language?""
"I know." Steve sighed. As he rode his bike through the snow covered forest, a tank appeared before his vision, barrelling it's way towards him. He didn't hesitate to throw his bike at the incoming tank, the impact ceasing it's advance and blowing it up in the process. "It just slipped out."
Tony smiled at the adorable innocents of his boyfriend. He would definitely make sure to tease him about this later, but right now he needed to find a way to get through the protective barrier.
"JARVIS, do you see a power source for that shield?" Tony asked.
"There's a pathway below the north tower," came the quick reply, and just as JARVIS told him the little tidbit of info, Tony's eyes located his target. There was a small opening in the bunker; a single open window with small, short sparks of electricity that seemed to be jumping out into the wind. He smirked and released an electromagnetic nullifying missile, an EMP blast, at the power source, and within a few minutes, the dance of electricity all but ceased, effectively disabling the shield. He watched the white protective shield slowly cascade down the bunker like condensation on a cold glass. As he smiled to himself, all moments of silent celebration were cut short as frantic voices filled his ears.
"We have an enhanced in the field, he's a blur. Do not engage," Steve said, followed by,
"Clint's hit pretty bad, guys. We're gonna need evac," from Natasha.
Tony bit his lip, contemplating his options. As he was about to about to go down there and get Clint back to the Quinjet, he heard Thor say,
"I can get Barton to the jet. The sooner we're gone the better. You and Stark secure the scepter."
He felt himself relax a bit, focusing back on the task at hand. He soon found himself mysteriously smirking, an idea forming in his head. He felt an opportunity to embarrass Steve arise, and he couldn't let that pass by so quickly, so before he entered the building he said, smugly, "and for gosh sake, watch your language!"
He heard the long sigh of said soldier, and he had to bite his lip in order to combat the violent sensation of laughter that was bubbling within his chest. "That's not going away anytime soon."
"It's adorable babe, don't worry about it," replied Tony, landing inside the building shortly after. When he got inside, he was met with a few Hydra soldiers, who upon his arrival, had started shooting at the Iron Man suit. Tony put his hands up in mock surrender. "Guys, stop, we gotta talk about this." In their state of confusion, two small devices on the shoulder pads of the Iron Man suit deployed, and small pellets were fired, whizzing through the air, finding their intended targets, and effectively incapacitating the soldiers. He smirked to himself, and sarcastically said, "good talk," before commanding his suit to stay in sentry mode, opening the chest cavity to allow him to exit the suit freely while JARVIS took over and kept watch.
He walked over to an open computer, looking at the screen he saw S.H.I.E.L.D. files were currently open. It contained info on not only Loki's scepter, but on some of his teammates as well, including him. Tony took out a flashdrive from his pocket and inserted it into the USB port, letting JARVIS take over, collecting all the data that would be sent to Agent Maria Hill later.
"Make sure you get it all JARVIS, and then copy that straight over to Hill." Tony said as he took a few steps away from the computer. He furrowed his eyebrows and scrunched his face in confusion, stopping just a few inches away from the forgotten device on the table, listening to his surroundings. In the faint distance of the room he was in, there was a whisper of wind, the faintest sound of a hushed air current located somewhere within the room. "Hey, J, can you give me an IR scan of the room, real quick," he asked.
A faint blue light analyzed every area within the room, leaving no corner untouched. "The wall to your left. I'm reading steel reinforcement and an air current." Replied JARVIS.
"Please be a secret door," he hoped, repeating the words to himself several times as he came face to face with the coordinate JARVIS gave him. He pushes on that particular part of the wall, revealing exactly what he had hoped for; a secret door within the confinement of looking like an ordinary wall.
"Yay," was the simple response he gave before venturing down the stairs into the newly discovered room. His feet thudded against the steel steps, the sound reverberating as he got closer towards the bottom. A brief sound of static attacked his ear and he winced, hitting the communication device in his ear, fixing the issue just enough to barely pick up Steve's voice.
"We have a second enhanced. Female. Do not engage." He rolled his eyes as he continued his descent down the stairs. His feet touched the bottom, coming into contact with solid ground. He pushed further into the barely lit room, eyes frantically looking all around him. His breath hitched as he realized, what seemed like normal pieces of discard debris, was actually Chitauri alien tech. His eyes started to tremble, but he pushed forward. As he traveled further into the room, his blood ran cold, and he felt like he was suffocating. Trembling brown orbs casted a fearful gaze slowly upwards as he saw the towering, unmoving yet almost alive leviathan carrier, whose razor sharp teeth stared right at him, casting his scared reflection right back at him, was right within his personal space. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his breathing coming back to him is ragged shallow intakes as he tried to keep himself calm, not wanting to succumb to the panic attack that was slowly clawing at his neck. A small blue light broke his gaze, and he willed his eyes away from the monstrosity, his gaze finding the prize he came here for.
Loki's Scepter.
He smirked to himself and walked towards the glowing object, hand stretched out ready to take what was theirs, but suddenly, he felt a weird sensation come over him, and he swore he saw a red misty aura slither past his vision. He blinked his eyes, confused at what he was feeling, until a loud, piercing screech erupted behind him. He felt himself tense up and turned, fear wrapped it's invisible hands around him as he saw the leviathan spring to life and fly in front of him. He jumped out of the way, his gaze followed the creature, and his blood ran cold, his body started to shake violently.
It was like his nightmare had become a reality, the scene in front of him too good to be true, it was just like what he saw in the portal from New York; an entire armada of leviathans and Chitauri littered within the vast majority of space. He willed his shaky body forward, ignoring the background of space around him as he looked at his teammates bodies littered on the floor, unmoving, broken and bloodied. He noticed Hulk, whimpering softly, spears in his back. Thor laid on his back, Mjolnir just within reach, a trickle of blood creeping down from his mouth as his eyes stayed open. His eyes traveled lower and spotted the two assassins on the team; Clint and Natasha. Clint's back was against the slabs of gravel, arrows embedded in his chest, head held down, and Natasha, whose eyes were closed, a pool of blood stationed at her head, staining her already fiery red hair a more dark color. The worst of them all, was when he looked at Steve.
A sob escaped past his lips, his knees feeling weak and wobbly. He collapsed in front of his lover, tears ran down his cheeks like a river, dripping onto the cold hard ground and near the blonde. Tony saw his shield, torn in two, completely broken, and his eyes closed. He reached a shaky hand towards Steve, wanting to touch him, to know if a pulse was still there. He yelped loudly when his hand was grabbed by the blonde, scared caramel brown eyes, met dull baby blues, a mixture of pain expressed within Steve's eyes as well.
"You… could've… saved… us." Steve strained. Every word was like fire to the dying man, where every pant and huff of his breath as he spoke, it told Tony how much pain he was in. He wanted to help Steve, he wanted to take the pain away, but he couldn't. He knelt there, watching the pained expression on his face bore into his mind. His body continued to shake, never taking his eyes off Steve. Tony watched as Steve's head slowly fell backwards, resting on the cold, dark blood stained gravel. Fresh blood started running down his nose, and as his hand let go of Tony's wrist, his lifeless eyes stayed open, gaze fixated on Tony before finally going limp.
"Why didn't you?" The whispered words of his now dead lover bounced off his cranium, and he couldn't take it anymore. Tony let out a scream of agony as he watched the life drain from Steve's eyes, yelling for him to come back, wanting him to so desperately return.
"Please, Steve I'm sorry! I didn't… I didn't mean to kill you!" He yelled. He wiped the tears from his face, but they kept flowing down his face like a waterfall. When he looked in front of him again, Steve, and the rest of his team, were gone. He started to hyperventilate, the image engraved in his mind as he started to succumb to the panic attack that was starting to form from earlier. He continued to cry, crawling over to a corner near the scepter, and cradling himself, soft whispers of "I'm sorry" spoken to himself, as he rocked back and forth.
Steve, on the other side of all of this, was wondering where Tony was. He should've gotten the Scepter by now, so what was taking him so long?
"Anybody seen Stark?" Steve asked into the comm device.
"Sorry, Steve, none of us have seen him," Natasha replied, "we thought he'd have gotten the scepter and met up with you." He sighed to himself and looked back at the building. After capturing Strucker, with very little ease; as if the man behind all of this didn't even bother to put up much of a fight, he never really heard from Tony after that. He bit his lip, starting to become more increasingly worried.
"I'm gonna go find him, I'll meet you guys back at the Quinjet." He ran back inside the building with urgency, running back to where he found Strucker, and then searching the perimeter from there. His super soldier hearing picked up on something, a faint whimper in the distance, and the oh so familiar voice of the man he was searching for. His heart started beating faster, thudding against his chest. He used his enhanced agility to get to Tony as fast as he could, scared that something horrible is happening to him.
The sound of Tony's cries got louder, and progressively closer. His blood ran cold as the piercing, blood curdling scream of agony from the genius, pierced his eardrum, traversing across the walls, as if crawling their way towards him.
"Tony!" He yelled. "I'm coming honey, just hang on!" He reached the room where Tony had been prior, and saw the secret pathway where the genius lay. He bit his lip as he descended the stairs, preparing himself for the worst.
He moved towards the back of the room, ignoring and disregarding all the Chitauri tech around him. He reached Loki's scepter, looking over the blinding white light, until he found Tony. His heart broke at the sight of his fella, crying, whimpering, rocking in pain, head tucked in with his knees to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around himself, shielding his head from Steve. His hair was disheveled, the indication that a shaky, trembling hand, who's fingers curled and pulled at his hair for the past few minutes, caused Steve's breath to hitch as he continued to look at the broken, scared figure of his lover. He swallowed the lump in his throat, a prickling sensation forming behind his eyes as he slowly walked towards him. Tony's head snapped up, and Steve saw the flow of tears, cascading down his face like a small stream, leaving a ghostly trail behind.
"Tony…" He whispered. He took one step closer towards the genius, and his chest tightened when the brunette's eyes widened, fear gripping at his throat, choking him, clawing at him, making Tony squash himself closer to the wall, whimpering, and trying to get away from Steve.
"N-No! Stay away from me, please I'm sorry! I… I didn't mean to kill you, Steve, I'm sorry!" He yelled frantically. Steve bit his lip again, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. He knelt down, and once more with a shaky hand, he tried to reach out and touch Tony. He flinched in response again, and Steve let out a small gasp of pain. Whatever happened to him, caused an effect so great that he would simply cower in fear, unwilling to even want to be touched by the man he was in a relationship with, and for Steve, it hurt like hell.
"Tony… Honey, please. I need to get you and the scepter to the others, but I need to help you up. Will you let me?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper. The broken genius looked at him, nodded his head slowly. Steve inched slowly closer to Tony, with careful, delicate precision, not wanting to hurt him as he gently carried him bridal style. Tony wouldn't stop shaking violently in his arms, and his pleads of sorry did not go on deaf ears. He buried his face into the crook of Steve's neck, his breath hitting the pale skin, drawing Steve to hold him close, scared that if he were to let go the genius would break in front of his eyes more. He kissed Tony's forehead, taking a few steps towards the Scepter, and then slowly, gently, with every ounce of care in the world, placed Tony's feet on the ground, making sure to hold onto him so he could stabilize himself.
"Please forgive me, I never wanted to hurt you… I didn't mean to kill you." Tony sobbed. Steve held him close, kissing the side of his head, comforting him, consoling him before he reached over and grabbed the Scepter, promptly leaving the area afterwards.
"Guys, Tony took a hit. He's pretty shaken up. Have Dr. Cho ready to treat him back at the tower, in case something happened." He heard a soft whimper come from the shorter male, and he bit his lip. He looked down at Tony, teary eyes looking back at him as he shook his head. He sucked in a small wisp of breath before speaking again. "Actually… Scratch that. Let me see if I can help him. If I can't, then we'll get Dr. Cho to help."
He wanted Tony to seek the help of a medical professional just in case something major needed to be done, but the state Tony was in right now, he wanted to make sure he was comfortable. He didn't want to take the chance of the genius freaking out in his current state, so he would stick next to Tony for a bit and see if he could help.
When they got back to the Quinjet, the team (minus Clint, who was busy trying to recuperate after being shot ) was in a state of worry. From the first time they all met him, he seemed like a guy who wouldn't let his true emotions show. There was a facade to Tony Stark; he was sarcastic, quirky, cocky, but he always had a way of making you feel special in his own way. Looking at him now, clinging to Steve's side, the sounds of hiccuped sobs and little droplets of tears, slipping down his cheeks, they couldn't help but worry about him. Steve said to give them some space so they could talk and figure this stuff out, and if Tony wanted to tell the team, then that was his choice. They all understood and went back to either checking up on Clint, whos wound left him incapacitated for a bit, navigating their way back home, and, or, making a phone call to Dr. Cho.
"Do you want to talk about this now, or later?" Steve asked, whispering into Tony's ear so the others couldn't hear.
"C-can we please wait till we get home? I'd feel much better, maybe after some coffee." Steve gave a sad smile, kissing away any tears that were still staining Tony's cheeks. It brought a little smile to Tony's face, but it didn't stop the shaking. "Do you think… We could sit down, Steve?" Tony looked at him pleadingly, and he nodded his head.
"Can I hold your hand? Is that ok, Tony?" He asked politely. Tony nodded his head, opening his palm and allowing Steve to intertwine their fingers, letting him lead them over to a vacant spot on one of the seats on the Quinjet. Tony rested his head on Steve's shoulder, face in the crook of his neck once more, squeezing his hand, and closing his eyes as he tried to relax in the comfort of his super soldier. Steve used his spare hand to slowly run his fingers through Tony's hair, carefully letting his digits slide their way through the brown, greasy, yet silky smooth, curly locks, effectively helping to relax the brunette, and ease the tension in his body. Within a few minutes, he felt the weight of the genius all on his shoulder as he fell asleep. He looked down and smiled, placing a kiss on the side of his forehead before looking up, his eyes meeting a pair of greyish greens far away, near the front of the Quinjet.
Natasha smiled at the sight, knowing Steve would do anything in his power to make sure Tony was both comfortable, and safe. As she looked on, a thought crept into her mind, slowly taking root, grasping at her hand and squeezing it for reassurance. She figured that, when they returned, she owed Stark an apology for what she wrote in her report, and for what she said on the helicarrier.
Steve returned the smile and looked back down, once again, at the sleeping figure of Tony. He picked up their joined hands, kissing the back of Tony's hand, before resting his head on top of the other males. He took in the scent of the genius, a happy sigh escaping his lips as the smell of oil and grease wafted through the air into his nostrils. It reminded Steve of when he spent time with Tony in the workshop, sketching off to the side as he worked. He kept his eyes open as he didn't feel tired, wanting to be awake when they returned to the tower. He smiled, gears turning in his head, formulating a plan on how he would try to make Tony feel better.
Upon immediate arrival to the tower, Steve had taken the liberty to wake Tony up. The genius made some sounds of protest, but woke up shortly after. He stretched for a bit, enjoying the way his back popped, before looking up at the face of his blonde boyfriend, smiling a bit.
"We're home, honey," he returned a similar smile as he spoke. Tony nudged Steve's face with his, earning a small ounce of laughter from the super soldier before getting up, Steve following in pursuit. He walked the brunette out of the Quinjet and made their way to the roof of Avengers Tower. "You still up for talking?"
"Yea… Let me talk to Bruce first, I have something I need to tell him." Tony looked back at Steve, the smile still plastered on his face. "Honestly, I really think we should get a new place. The tower is nice and all, but it screams "home of the Avengers, please attack me."" Steve chuckled at Tony's choice of words. His smile turned into a lopsided grin, raising one eyebrow at the brunette, a sort of amused expression written on his face.
"You say the darndest things, honey." He reached for Tony's hand and held it, smiling when he squeezed back in response. His eyes darted to the geniuses lips, and un-subconsciously licked his own in response. "Can I kiss you?" The words darted out of his mouth. He so badly wanted to proceed with the display of affection, to feel those soft lips on his, to feel the sweet, fiery sensation across his lips every time they kissed, since it had become normal between them, but after the hit Tony took, Steve wanted to take precaution so he didn't set the man off.
"I think it's sweet that you're asking for permission, but I can assure you, that's the one thing you don't need to ask permission for. No matter what happens to me, or you, or between us, that's something you'll never need to ask permission for." Tony explained. Steve chuckled before placing a gentle, soft kiss on Tony's lips. When they pulled apart, Tony sighed happily, then said, "as much as I like kissing you, I need to go speak to Bruce. I'll see you in our room."
Steve raised both his eyebrows, shocked at the words Tony just spoke. Before he could utter a word, he was cut off by the genius.
"Yes, you heard me correctly. I said our room. Now go wait there and get changed, and then later we'll bring your shit- I mean, stuff to our room."
"Language," smirked Steve. Tony just shook his head and rolled his eyes, a soft chuckle promptly following in pursuit.
"Go you big blonde goofball," he said, pecking Steve's lips before he could leave. The blonde nodded and walked away from Tony, which unbeknownst to him, gave the genius a great view of his backside.
'Damn, that is America's ass right there.' Tony thought. He shook his head, casting away his inappropriate thought of his super soldier, and made his way into the tower to find Bruce.
He found the Doctor and fellow scienebro in his lab, face deep in holograms, littered around his face, suspended in the air, and the Scepter, lying in front of him. "Hey, Brucie-Bear." Bruce's head snapped upwards, his focus shifting away from the information cluttered around him, to look at Tony walking over to him. "Find anything neat and interesting about the Scepter?"
"Well from the scans JARVIS had given me," he pointed at one of the holographic screens in front of him, "there seems to be something within the Scepter. The exterior is the casing for what's inside." He looked over the information, and the schematics of the jewel. Tony made his way next to Banner and squinted intently, eyes scanning across the plethora of info, focusing in on something from the information in front of them.
"It's alien isn't it?" Bruce looked up at Tony, their eyes meeting, and a slow, conformational nod was given. Tony sighed, fingers running over the holographic information, filtering and flicking through each screen, eyes running over every inch of data, only stopping abruptly when he reached the end of the final screen. He scrubbed a hand up and down his face, walking away from the area to grab a tablet a few inches away, typing in a few algorithms on the device before he stopped, eyes looking back towards Bruce. "My god, this is something else," he whispered. He walked back over to the Doctor, typing in a few more commands before an orange, holographic, spherical shaped object appeared before him and Bruce.
"Tony?" Bruce questioned.
"I analyzed the information JARVIS had collected from the Scepter, and frankly speaking, it looks like word vomit. Now, I want you to think for a bit," he turned and looked at Banner, "this right here," he motioned at the orange orb, "is JARVIS. Now what's inside the scepter however," he pulled up another holographic model of a blue, much larger orb next to JARVIS, "this is what's inside that thing. Now just analyzing and plugging in a few algorithms, I think I wanna take this," he pointed at the blue orb, "and convert it into creating Ultron."
Bruce looked at Tony as if he was crazy, eyes widening a bit, looking between him and the blue orb.
"I thought Ultron was just a fantasy."
"Yesterday it was," Tony motioned to the blue orb once again, "this could be the key to creating Ultron. Hear me out, what if we applied this to the Iron Legion protocol-"
"That's a mad sized what if."
"-and we were to establish world peace. What if the world was safe. Come on work with me here Brucie-Bear. Don't you want to relax, and not have to worry about the next time you might turn green. Hell you wouldn't even have to worry about VERONICA."
Bruce rolled his eyes and pointed a finger at Tony. "Don't hate, I helped design VERONICA." The genius scoffed and placed a hand on his shoulder, a small smile on his face. Bruce sighed in return and shook his head. "So you're going for an artificial intelligence and you don't want to tell the team. You don't even want to tell Steve, of all people?"
Tony bit his lip as Banner pulled the guilt card. Yes it was wrong of him to not tell his boyfriend what he was up to, but it was for his own good. The image of his team, bodies scattered around the floor, blood pooling around their lifeless bodies, flashed back into his head. He swallowed the lump in his throat and regained his composure, nodding his head.
"We don't have time for a city hall debate. I see a suit of armor around the world, Dr Banner, and I want to do this to protect the team."
"That sounds like a cold world, Tony."
"I've seen colder," he shrugged, "the very vulnerable blue one, needs Ultron. Peace in our time. Imagine that." He smiled and patted Bruce on the shoulder, starting to make his way towards the elevator. "As much as I want to help, I got a hot super soldier waiting for me. We can work on this later buddy! Don't wait for me!" He turned around and yelled.
Bruce rolled his eyes and let the man leave, working on trying to go through the Ultron protocol, and uploading it's data to the blue orb.
When Tony reached the elevator, he was startled when it opened, considering he didn't get to press the button. Maria Hill had stepped out of the elevator, smiling at him. Another womanly figure, Dr. Helen Cho, accompanied her, taking her place next to Agent Hill.
"Hey there boss." Said Maria.
"Actually, Steve's the boss. I just pay for everything, and design everything, and make everyone look cooler," a cheeky grin on his face as he replied. Maria just shook her head, and Dr. Cho gave a small chuckle. "So how's Barton? Did he flat line? Did you pull the plug? If you did, why didn't you call me?"
"He's fine, Mr Stark," Dr. Cho replied, "he's gonna make a full recovery. It took awhile to regrow his cell tissue since I didn't have my cradle technology, but he's still one hundred percent Agent Barton."
"Well, that's good news I suppose. Is there anything else I should know about before I go?"
"As a matter of fact yes," Maria spoke this time, "I just spoke to Captain Rogers, and gave him information on the two enhanced individuals you guys encountered."
"Alright, so tell me about them." Tony crossed his arms over his chest, one eyebrow raised as he waited for the explanation.
"Their names are Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Twins. Experimented on by Strucker, orphaned at ten when a shell collapsed their apartment building," Tony bit his lip at that little bit of information as she continued, "and I told him about their abilities. He's got increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis. Her thing is neural electric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation."
"So basically he's fast and she's weird?" He put together logically.
"They don't call you a genius for nothing."
"Boosting my ego, I'd give you a raise if I were your boss, but sadly I'm not." That earned him a laugh from the two females, and he joined them with a laugh of his own. "Well at least we know more about them, and hopefully we can find them. Who knows what damage they can do." He trailed off before pushing a button to open the elevator, stepping inside then pushing another button that would take him to his room. "Oh before I forget, you're both coming to the party tonight right?"
"Do I look like a party person?" Dr. Cho said, a slight roll of her eyes. She looked back at him and added, "will Thor be there?" He chuckled at her and nodded his head before he disappeared behind the closing elevator doors.
He reached his room and saw the door was open. He walked in and was met with the sight of Steve dressed in a blue button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, shirt tucked into his black jeans, and hair neatly brushed. Tony bit his lip, eyeing the super soldier who was focused on his sketchbook. He didn't want to interrupt the sight, even if his pants were becoming a bit too tight in the front thanks to how good Steve looked in his outift, and just let Steve concentrate. The blonde looked up from his sketch, and smiled when he saw Tony.
"Hey, glad for you to finally grace me with your presence." He said, putting down the sketchbook.
"You should be glad, not many people get to be with the Tony Stark," he smirked, walking over to Steve and plopping down next to him. Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes, turning his head to look at Tony.
"You should be glad that people put up with you."
"You see that, Rogers," he put a hand over his Arc reactor, "that hurts, right here." Steve chuckled softly at Tony's silly attitude, before leaning over to kiss the glowing blue light emanating from his shirt.
"Does that feel better?" He smirked and saw the blush on Tony's face. The genius started to cough subtly, trying to regain his composure, as well as diminish the heat that took residence on his cheeks.
"Well considering nobody has ever done that, which makes you the first, then yes. I'd say that does feel better." He smiled and kissed Steve's cheek, taking his hand in his as the blonde smiled back. "Although I will say, I don't remember teaching you to be sassy," he pointed at Steve, which just ended up putting the blonde into a fit of laughter.
"Well when you've been asleep for as long as I have, and the world around you has changed drastically, you tend to pick up a few things." Tony shook his head and playfully pushed the super soldier, erupting a chorus of laughter from Steve, and the blondes own playful push back in response.
"What were you drawing in your picture book? Oh, wait, let me guess. Was it pretty flowers," he raised his eyebrows as he teased Steve. The super soldier snorted and grabbed his sketchbook, opening it to the page he doodled on earlier. Tony glanced and felt buttrflies violently flapping and fluttering their wings in his stomach, a small surge of warmth radiating just below the Arc Reactor and the left, where his heart was, coiling, grasping at the shrapnel as if to hold it so he may experience this warthm for however long he wants. His eyes glanced over the sketch of him and Steve, holding hands just a few hours ago, Tony resting his head on Steve's shoulder, face in the crook of his neck, and Steve resting his head on top of Tony's.
"I don't know if you remember much, but this was what happened on the Quinjet. I told the team to give you space when we got there, and they were more than happy to give it. It was just you and me, and I got to hold you like this. The situation was bad, but the moment we shared wasn't, and I thought I'd capture that." He explained.
"I absolutely love it, Steve." Tony Whispered, his voice going quiet for a bit. "I love your drawings so much." He squeezed his hand, eliciting a smile from Steve, who looked into Tony's caramel brown eyes, and placed a kiss on the bridge of his nose.
"Wanna talk about it now, honey?" Tony nodded his head, letting out a small wisp of breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He felt his nerves start to get the best of him, clawing at his neck, gripping his hand with such ferocity that he felt it were on fire, his body starting to shake a little bit at the mere thought of recollecting what he saw. A soft kiss on the back of his hand, and the slow, soothing feeling of fingers running through his hair, massaging his scalp, had calmed him down.
"God I don't deserve you," whispered Tony, eyes closed as he relaxed against Steve.
"Don't say that Tony."
"It's true, Steve." His eyes opened, and he removed his head from Steve's shoulder to look into those lovely, vibrant, caring blue eyes. "I don't deserve you, or this team, because I'm a murderer." His hands started to shake, prompting Steve to try his best to calm him down by rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I saw you all dead before me, and it was all my fault. I killed the team. I killed… You and I felt sick to my stomach."
"I'm right here, Tony. What you saw was created by Loki's Scepter."
"But what if it were true!" He stood up abruptly, and walked away from Steve, hands rubbing away the forming tears in his eyes. "What if in the future, I do kill you and the team? What will I do then? I'll be alone for the rest of my life, Steve. I don't want that…" He turned around and looked at the concerned face of his boyfriend, staring at him intently as he listened. "I'm scared to lose the people I value, and somehow Nat, the rest of the team, and especially you, have wormed your way into the little vault I keep locked inside of me, for special people to reside in. I don't want to hurt you or them."
Steve stood up slowly, walking over to Tony, and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close to his body. "You won't hurt us Tony, we're already starting to become a family, and that means no matter what we'll always be there for each other." He whispered those sweet, loving words into the genius's ear, and felt Tony wrap his arms around his neck, holding onto him for dear life, scared to lose the man he has become so close to.
"Spoken like a true soldier and bodyguard. How funny is that?" Steve smiled and placed gentle, soft kisses on Tony's forehead, rubbing his hand up and down his back, soothing and comforting the man he loved. Tony, head rested on Steve's shoulder, taking in the sweet, Vanilla scent of his super soldier, sighed happily.
"I do want to ask you something, Tony." Steve said. Tony gave a small hum in response, not breaking the contact between them, and Steve took this as permission to continue. "I wanna know exactly how you survived the drop into the ocean, and how exactly you knew that I was with Sam and where he lived."
Tony chuckled and broke from the embrace, sitting back on the bed, Steve following his motions and sat next to him. "JARVIS was the one who saved me, actually, he did most of the work. He took control of the suit while I was panicking. Water worked its way into my helmet, and I started to have a panic attack. JARVIS simply told me to breathe, and I listened. He detached one of the hands and I grabbed onto it, before I knew it, he was lifting me from under the rubble and we shot off into the sky." He played with Steve's fingers, a small smile on his face. "He brought me back to the tower, and it just so happened that Pepper was there with Bruce. Originally she was hoping to find me so we could talk about stuff for SI, but saw the state I was in and decided to just wait. I asked her and Bruce if either of them had seen you recently, and sadly they haven't. So I had JARVIS help me find you. He took me to an old nursing home, since that was the last time your face was seen on camera- and can you believe Aunt Peggy is still alive,' he rambled off topic.
"Tony, I was there. Natasha told me." He said.
"Oh, right. Anyways," Steve chuckled at him as he continued, "I asked the front desk lady if she saw anybody who was Tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes and gorgeous muscles. She said I had to be more specific, and so I just narrowed it down and asked if anybody had come to see Peggy Carter. That's when she told me she did in fact see you, and informed me that you were talking to a man named Sam Wilson. When I asked about him she said he wasn't in, but gave me a card with his address. And that basically concludes how I ended up in that exact location."
"Wow, and here I thought you were going to tell me you put a tracker on my shield." That earned Steve a laugh from Tony, shaking his head lightly.
"No, but I could if you wanted me to."
"No that won't be necessary. Thanks for telling me all of this, it means a lot." Steve leaned down and pecked Tony's lips. "Now we have a party we should be attending, don't want to keep everyone waiting." Steve stood up and walked towards the door. When he turned around, he saw Tony biting his lip, staring at him. "What's wrong?"
"Your ass looks so fucking nice in those jeans. You're making it hard for me to just forget about the party so I can keep you locked in this room with me and have my way with you." Steve blushed furiously and placed his hands behind his butt, trying to cover it from Tony's gaze. "No no no, don't do that. I absolutely love looking at your ass, it's amazing by the way." He added, standing up and making his way over to Steve, and pinching his butt.
"Tony," yelped Steve, face turning more red. The genius laughed at how red Steve's face was, and to ease up on the teasing, hei placed a small kiss on his cheek.
"Come on babe, we have guests to attend to." He led Steve out of the room, and happily held his hand in his, ready for an awesome night with his team.
However, what was supposed to be a great night for the residents of Avengers Tower, would soon turn out to be a nightmare that they weren't ready for.
Author's Note:
I have already finished part 2 and that will be up the next time I update, when will that be? It could be tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe even the next Friday. Just be on the lookout!
I accept any and all constructive criticism and positive feedback! Tell me how I am doing, and if you want to, by all means, go ahead and review, let me know what you think so far. We're getting closer and closer to the prologue scene, and that means closer and closer to the end of the story! Hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am. Stay safe, stay healthy, and I will see all of you next time!
