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CHAPTER Fifty one
"Fekking light duties." Muttered Rex, "kriffing medics!"
"I heard that Captain." Doctor Armedd answered back from his office, "it's an order and in this I outrank you. Light duties."
"Yes Sir." He grinned, having no intentions of sticking to that; he mused that medics appeared to be the same the galaxy over, and he included Ana in that. His thoughts went to her more and more, in fact she was there with him all the time, in the background; her voice in his head, her scent and touch remembered, all at odd times. Times when he needed it least. Sometimes when he needed it most; one of his reasons for being here.
He started walking again, he couldn't remember when he had actually stopped moving, and continued along the corridor debating what he could do that could be classed as 'light duties'. "Reports, I'll do some reports"; there was always paperwork to do, even in the Rebellion especially as it was becoming more and more organised. The Pathfinders results he could complete; he headed to what had been Wolffe's office; he commandeered it back
Eventually the light duties which irked him so much, but kept him busy for hours, had run out. Then he thought long and hard about Ana's appearance in Medbay after he came out of the Bacta therapy. She'd sat with him and nursed him much like she had on Seelos. He enjoyed her company but she had asked him for something he could not readily give, as he had so little of it left and yet….
The Ghost was in its normal slot on the base, he wandered over to catch up with the crew; he'd missed them. Striding up the ramp, he heard the bickering coming from the living area and smiled.
They were like a family, a large dysfunctional family; it was why he liked them, why he fit in.
Chopper shot down the ramp, beeping with his appendages swirling furiously; someone had upset him.
"You OK, Chop?" Rex asked, hands resting on his hips. The astromech continued to babble and shot off.
"Someone's in trouble." muttered Rex, as he continued to stride up the ramp. "Hey, Zeb how are you?" He greeted the Lasat with a slap on the back.
"Just fine Rex, what about you? I thought you were still in Bacta. We heard about the HALO drop."
"Not my finest moment, eh Zeb." The Lasat looked over Rex's shoulder, "Gregor and Wolffe not back yet?"
"Nope, still on Seelos but it sounds as if the Walker is coming along well. It'll be a useful addition, a mobile rebel station on Seelos. The Empire have started to gain a foothold there."
"Bet I know what Gregor will call it." Zeb grinned, he already had a name for it. "Joopa Station. What do you think Rex?"
"Ideal, I'll tell him."
"I miss the old geezer." Muttered Zeb.
"Hey less of the old. He wouldn't like it."
"You mean you don't like it?"
Rex shrugged.
"How's the lady friend?" Zeb knew as soon as he said it it was the wrong thing to say; the look on Rex's face told him so. "Sorry, didn't mean to pry but she was looking after you in Medbay. I just thought….sorry Rex."
"My fault. I pushed her away too many times."
"It didn't look like that when she was looking after you in the Bacta tank."
"She was there?" He had thought it was just afterwards and then she'd sort of just disappeared.
"Yeah, nearly all the time. Every time I looked in after you, she was there. Checking on you. Watching you."
A gaggle of voices disturbed their conversation; Hera launched herself at him. "Rex, you're recovered!" She pulled back quickly, her face and voice, returning to its professional Captain Syndulla state. "I'm glad you're back with us, Rex."
"I'm glad to be back."
"How's the training going?"
"They're a good bunch and they'll be an asset. Assuming they are used correctly, in the appropriate circumstances."
Hera nodded, "Things are moving quickly now, towards an Alliance, Rex; more and more people are joining us. It'll be just how Ahsoka, Organa and Mothma had originally planned all those years ago. She'd be proud of you Rex." He closed his eyes, the loss of Ahsoka was still raw with him, even after all these months. Perhaps it always would be.
He remembered what she had said to him when she first asked him to join her: "You do have a choice you know."
He came back to the friends he had first met at that time and who had steered him on this path; "Any missions due, nothing too strenuous?" He omitted the light duties order.
"Mykapo!" Sabine joined the conversation, "Rescue mission, you up for it?"
"Of course." He grinned, anything to get away from 'light duties'.
.
Rex had disappeared again, he had missed his check up with Doctor Armedd, who had come to her, to find out if she knew where he was. Of course, she didn't, she hadnt seen him since his treatment but she could make a guess. He'd said something about using Wolffe's old office; Ana thought he would head back there. There was a shortage of space on Atollon, rooms weren't left empty and unused for long.
Ana made her way there reluctantly, it had memories that she didn't particularly want to revisit; she wandered around the room examining closely everything in there, she had never really taken much notice of it when Wolffe used it. Flimzi sheets covered the walls in Rex's writing. She'd never actually seen him write them but assumed it was his; she could see in her minds eye, Rex writing the notes. A strong round hand, easily readable. It suited him.
There was a dent in the wall; she wasn't sure what could have made that until, inexplicably, she tried to fit her fist in it. The contours fit but a bigger fist made that dent. She rubbed her knuckles in sympathy.
The desk was tidy, sort of, there were obvious piles of flimzi and various datapads, holographs of maps; she didn't remember it being like that when Wolffe was here. It was ordered, in an untidy way. She absentmindedly tidied them, one item didn't fit in with the rest and she pulled it from under the pile of flimzis and stared at it.
She ran her fingers along the creases of the printed holo, remembering the day when it was taken, what they'd been doing, who had taken it.
Rex had kept it. She swallowed with difficulty, her mouth had gone quite dry.
.
Commander Sato was grateful his nephew was safe and Rex could appreciate that feeling. It also felt good to be a part of that feeling; 'warm and fuzzy' according to Gregor. He walked back to Wolffe's old office and opened the door; Ana was standing there and he saw what she had in her hand but realised she had not heard him.
"It's the first time I've been on a mission without you." he announced.
Ana started, he was right, she had not heard him open the door.
"I usually have it tucked under my armour, for luck." He explained.
All this time, he had her picture with him; she didn't know what to say. Rex pulled the door shut behind him.
"It always reminded me of what...who I was fighting for." He paused, his eyes had that faraway look she remembered him getting sometimes, on Seelos, when he was immersed in his memories. "Years ago, I told a brother that I believed in what I was fighting for and if we failed, then our children and their children would be forced to live under an evil I couldn't imagine." He breathed out a long breath. "Well, we failed Ana, we failed and are now living under that evil ourselves. We can't fail again."
He pulled off his chest armour and her scarf was there. It was dirty, ripped in places and faded but it was her scarf the one she had given him at the Cantina on Seelos. The memories of that night came flooding back to her.
"Rex…"
"I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry...can we start again?" Looking hopeful, she held her hand out, "My name's Ana, Ana Sant."
"Rex, just Rex."
.
Eventually, he had asked her about 'Ana's best.' She proudly gave him a guided tour of Fel's back room with the still and brewing equipment. He had to admit he was impressed with the efficiency of the whole operation and the results which he realised was due to Ana's recipes and special ingredients.
They had been sitting together, in the bar, for a while when she felt his arm slide around her waist. This time she did not want to push him away, but searched out his hand with hers. She wasn't sure he could still want her after how she had behaved previously; her memories of being callous, not appreciating his feelings plagued her. Sometimes she still felt damaged by her past. She knew he was.
"What now?" She asked, looking up to him.
Rex looked back at her and rested his forehead against hers; she couldn't move. "For once I don't have a plan. You've probably realised, I don't do relationships very well. Not really had that much experience with them."
She looked serious before she said, "My track record isn't good either, is it?"
He saw the deep breath she took and the odd look on her face, and he braced himself. There was something wrong.
"Rex …..I….."
"Yes?" He looked hopeful.
She couldn't do it; she couldn't tell him about her and Wolffe. She couldn't lose him this time; she accepted that she and Wolffe were over, were never really truly together, and that she ought to be with Rex. But she remembered again what Wolffe had said. What they had agreed and she knew she could not tell him. This was a new start that was too precious to waste, for both of them.
What he didn't know, wouldn't hurt him; it was her guilt that she would have to live with.
"Ana?"
"Sorry…l forgot what I was going to say." She muttered.
"It's the effect I have on you." Rex deadpanned.
It took a few seconds before she realised he was joking and smiled.
Kriff! I'm so Fekking nervous I'm making jokes.
Rex had pulled her close to him, the Agamar mission had changed him; he wasn't sure why. The HALO drop had changed him too. He finally had closure from the Clone Wars and he wanted to move on with his life.
"Ana, I want us back together, properly; I don't want to fight this war without you. I can't fight without you. I realise that now."
"I understand, and want to be with you."
"I know you said you needed time but …"
"Rex, I want to be with you now."
It finally dawned on him what she had said; what she had agreed to. He pulled her even closer.
"Are you sure?"
He saw the nodded agreement. "I'm sure."
"I've arranged some new quarters; if you're interested that is."
"I'd love to see them." She replied from his shoulder.
They made their way to his room; it wasn't big but it had its own fresher, and housed a table and two chairs, a small galley and two bunks which were quite wide. Wider than normal. She could work with this.
"How did you manage to get this?" She asked, he had respected her request for more time to a degree and she accepted that any more may no longer be in his remit to give. He looked older, a full, almost white beard now but he was still a muscular and strong man, just the thought of him gave her an ache in the pit of her stomach even now.
"Zeb says older geezers need more space." He replied heading towards her again; She sniggered at that and sidestepped him. " Zeb is very lucky, he's still alive."
"He's alright is Zeb." He moved with her.
They were facing each other now.
"How are you really, Rex?" She asked, looking up to him, after he had pulled her to him, encased her in his arms and planted a bruising kiss on her on her lips.
"Better now." He muttered from her neck region, "Besides, fighting, is what I was bred for." When he said that she could feel tears pricking her eyes, as she knew he meant fighting in a war. She pushed him away and stopped him
"I love you, Rex, you know that but...Rex. You only have to ask…. I'll follow you anywhere."
"I know. I have known since Seelos, which was why I left. I didn't want you embroiled in this war but here you are anyway. I was stupid, too stupid to realise what I had. What you meant to me, until recently." He looked at her, his eyes sorrowful. "But you need to know and accept me for what I am, a soldier and I will never stop fighting. It's what I was bred for."
"I know." She held onto him tight as he carried her to the bunk, laid her down, bracing himself above her, he stopped. "Are you ready for this?" He asked, suddenly looking uncertain and waited for her answer. Their previous familiarity had been lost. She looked up at him and framed his face with her hands, feeling the familiar beard between her fingers, before saying "What exactly are we talking about, the sex, here and now …...or more ...?"
He stared at her and she wondered for a second if she had pushed him too far, until he replied "More ...everything." and pinned her to the bunk with his body.
"I thought you were on light duties?" She asked as she came up for air.
"I have reclassified this as light duties, to be undertaken as required." Ana giggled, as he worked his way down her torso, paying particular attention to his favourite parts.
.
Their coupling had been quick and desperate on his part; she knew from what he said, he was wanting to forget, start afresh and now at last he slept.
And snored.
She had never heard him snore before. She watched him sleep, noting the changes that had occurred over the relatively short period of time thy had been apart, a few more wrinkles and his beard, it was white rather than the grey it had been when she was last with him.
The accelerated ageing. She could forgive the Kaminoans most things, except the Fekking continued accelerated ageing; she had more research to do on that, although if truth be told she felt out of her depth with it. She still needed to ask him about Ahsoka; he'd come into this fight at her behest and then Wolffe had said he couldn't forgive himself for not going with her, for not once disobeying her, before she died. She needed to know exactly what their relationship was, as he had never really said; she didn't really want to replace a dead partner, if he was still in love with her.
She knew, she had hurt Wolffe, she would never forgive herself for that. He was a good man, all three were but she realised that there was no one else for her, no one except Rex.
She'd think about it tomorrow, after all, tomorrow is another day; she slipped her left arm across his chest, feeling the familiar hairs and tracing the scars from the Nexu. It felt like a lifetime ago and finally she lapsed into a beautiful restful sleep; the best she'd had for months.
.
Rex was half laying on her now; they had both changed position in their sleep, woke up, talked more, made love again, regaining their knowledge of each other's bodies and both were now dozing in the aftermath of that, when the door started pinging and there were raised voices outside. Rex reluctantly moved off her and rose from the bunk; he yawned and stretched, his shoulder hurt nearly all the time now. Pulling his soft sleep pants on, and hopping on the way to the door, muttering to himself, he opened it; on the other side, he saw the young man "Ezra?" He asked, Ana was still in bed but had sat up at the sound of the conversation and was listening with interest.
So this was the young Jedi.
"Rex, are you Ok?" The young man was spluttering.
"Yes, Ezra, why?" Asked Rex, you could feel the patience in his tone, he had a lot of time for the young man.
"I felt something, you were hurt, and some other …..emotion."
Rex turned around and glanced at Ana, still in the bunk; now he looked a little pink around the ears. Ana smiled to herself, so it wasn't always her that blushed but she took the hint and slipped out of the bunk; she found her pants and Rex's t shirt and pulled them on. As she walked up she also heard a deep voice saying, "Sorry Rex, I tried to tell him you wouldn't be ready to do any practice this morning, heavy night an'all. Come on Kid."
Appearing from behind Rex and letting one hand rest on his back, she held out her right hand to the young man.
"Hi, I'm Ana, Rex's friend." She explained.
Ezra's eyes flicked from one to the other quickly before his mouth turned into a large O, matching his widened eyes, and he turned, looking accusingly at his large friend next to him.
A few seconds later he recovered his demeanour and stuck out his hand to shake hers.
