Chapter-9
'Pardon me' Nick interrupted Kayshor's tale of ambushing Tau scouts, 'but, if I am not wrong committing acts of depravity would draw you towards Slaneesh. And correct me if I am wrong but... fooling around with multiple women for twenty six hours straight must count as something' Kayshor scratched the back of his head,
'When you put it that way... yes it is but the process of copulating is normal for all races, if they had given in to their darkest desires say...uhm... torture me, I believe then their souls would be in peril, Besides most of them are much more senior and controlled in their emotions than me'
'Huh..never looked at it that way, but then again what we know of each other's races are from the worst kind and to add salt to that wound, the worst of both our races is normally the rule not the exception.' Nick realized he was about to enter another round of discussing morality and existential crisis.
The conversed for a another half an hour when they breached the subject of the biggest question in their Galaxy, is peace possible?. Nick held the opinion that it was an impossible dream if they took into account the vastness of the galaxy combined with growing tension between several races and the dickish behaviour of the Gods of Chaos, whereas Kayshor as old as he may have been was still undoubtedly naive so he argued that peace would be possible if they first fixed the giant butthole in the middle of the galaxy and plug it to weaken Chaos severely, then it would be much easier to start sorting things between the various races inhabiting the Galaxy. They talked for a while and Kayshor left saying that people would start getting suspicious if he was missing. As he walked out Nick only said one thing,
'Wish there were more people in the Galaxy kid, wish there were more'
'This much more impressive than I expected' Spartacus commended on the grey armoured figure smashing through a wall then obliterating targets on the other side faster than the blink of an eye with his rifle.
The figure kept running through the course vaulting over, sliding under and from time to time smashing through obstacles. Ramases was standing at the end of the course, the moment the soldier rounded the corner he drew on his psychic power and hurled a fireball at him, the fiery sphere evaporated just inches away from him and that did not stop Rameses from his onslaught, the armoured warrior dashed forward and the closer he got the more Rameses' attacks got weaker. A hundred and fifty, hundred and twenty, a hundred, Rameses looked at his hands, he tried summoning his power again but it didn't work he extended his hands, nothing. The grey armoured warrior rushed past the raised platform and then reached the end of the course, with a great leap, the warrior rang a bell hanging high up on a post.
'Assault course finished, test subject-01's score: All targets neutralized with minimum collateral damage, time: 3.17 minutes' Alaunus recorded on a data pad, he looked over at Rameses who had just entered the chamber alongside the aforementioned warrior,
'I am truly surprised I can stand being near him let alone so close, no offense of course'
'No offense Lor-….uh dang it, Sir Ramases' the warrior replied,
His face was rather plain, black hair, brown eyes and boyish features, if not for the cables protruding out from the back of his head he would not look out of the ordinary, he reached behind his head and rubbed at the skin near cables,
'Does it hurt boy?' Alaunus asked
'No Sir, just getting a tingling sensation Sir' the warrior replied still rubbing the back of his head
'Good, for the next few days if you feel anything at all, slight nausea, mood swings, headaches come and complain. Your body needs time to get used to the implants' Alaunus went back to working on his dataslate
'Actually the implants are wonderful in my opinion, when you were born I could barely stand being fifty feet away from the door of the lab, now all I feel is a tingling sensation, this armor truly allows him to control his null aura' Ramases slapped the youth on the pauldron of his armor.
'I agree sir, my nature as a Pariah would make me undesirable by many but with this…' he motioned at his unique helmet on the nearby table,
'I can have something close to a normal life, well as close as a eight foot tall genetically engineered soldier can have' he said with a smile.
The door to the room slid open and Alex entered, she was out of armor and was wearing something akin to a lab coat with her servo arms and mechandrites sticking out of her back, she walked over to the young soldier,
'Test subject-01, how are you feeling?, I regret not being able to attend your training session but I'm sure I can make time to watch it later, we have yet to give you a name,e as well' her voice dripping with weariness but she still managed to prattle her words
'Are you sure you're all right mam? You sound a bit tired'
Alex regarded his suggestion for a moment before sitting down on a nearby chair, she pushed her palms to her face and let out a sigh of exhaustion,
'I need to finish the modifications to you and your Brothers' armor Silencer, the new troop carriers need to have their flight systems calibrated, I need to finish the final touches on the Battle bots…'
Test subject-01 put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her in the eye,
'I may be young and I may still be learning mam but I know when someone is pushing themselves too far' his kind gesture was appreciated by Alex
'I know but I just feel like a piece of shit knowing that Nick is out there somewhere and may be fighting tooth and nail right now to survive I just….. I can't….. '
Alaunus stepped into the conversation,
'I believe you should get some rest Lady Alexandra, you won't be much help to Commander Nick if you drop dead from exhaustion'
'Some sleep would be best for now mam, when Sir Achilles is done training the more technologically inclined of my brothers I believe they will be able to pick up the slack'
Alex raised her eyebrow, 'If you think sleep will stop me from feeling like an asshole then it won't, for someone who picks up things as fast as you do… you are unbearably naive' The youth scratched his chin and was lost in thought for a moment, he face cracked into a smile
'Well mam, I was born yesterday'
Nick woke up to the sound of the doors sliding open, a team of Aspect warriors and load of Banshees walked in, one of the Banshees entered the room and put on a collar and a set of shackles on him, the Aspect warriors aimed their Shrukein rifles at him. The Banshees parted to reveal their Exarch walking up to him,
'I do not know for what reason the Farseer thinks it is wise to bring you onto our Craftworld, but it is not my place to question her'
She then attached a chain to him and yanked at it gesturing him to follow.
After mumbling to himself Nick got up and followed the Exarch, he was led out of the prison, strangely enough there were no other captives present now that he could take a good look at it, all the cells were empty other than there being some dried up stains on the floors, 'Hmm looks like blood but the real question is whose?' he thought to himself. He was marched through the many corridors of the ship before being led to a rather large elevator where the Farseer and a large number of Eldar were waiting, on her left was standing what looked like a chained and muffled up Aegeus ,
'Greetings Brother Aegeus how have the Eldar been treating you so far?' He asked in Astartes battle signs,
'They have treated me honorably enough except the part where they tortured me for information' the Eldar looked at the two of them in suspicion but otherwise did nothing,
'Do not fret Brother Aegeus this is only temporary, we will work out how to escape later. For now I ask you to swallow your pride and look defeated at first and then pretend to be friendly later'
'Are you sure the Eldar cannot understand us right now?'
Nick though about it for a moment, no doubt their mental fortifications and awareness of psychic attacks would have increased by now, what to do/, what to do? Then like a lightning bolt an idea came to his mind,
'Gosh I feel like a fa/tg/guy on Id4chan' He thought to himself,
'Spartacus… I know that you are not going to like this Idea but it is probably our best solution against mind-reading' Nick heard Spartacus groan through his wraithbone muzzle, some of the Eldar looked at him but after a moment they all turned away.
'I will probably regret this later Commander but go ahead'
'There is no way to put this gently so I'll just say it directly, since most of this Craftworld's population are females this crazy plan of mine just might work. Now if a female tries to read your mind just think of them in a sexual manner'
Spartacus let out a choke this time, now all the Eldar were staring at them, he could feel the Exarch entering his mind, 'Alright let's see if this works' he put his perverse 1d4chan neckbeard fanart to work, the Exarch's expressions were clear as she was not wearing a helmet, she let out a gasp and backed away in horror a second later that horror turned into anger as she threw her fist at his injured eye, it hurt him but not that much,
'FILTHY MONKIEGH! YOU DARE THINK OF ME THAT WAY, KHAINE WILL DEVOR YOUR SOUL' her punches were fast but not heavy hitting, the others tried to restrain her but she was too fast
'Gilmela! Restrain yourself, the knowledge this Monkiegh has is beyond useful to us.' The Farseer shouted but not actually doing anything
By this point the Exarch's eyes were filled with tears, her fist were lightning, Aegeus tried to help but the other Eldar were pulling at his chains not allowing him any movement, he continued to struggle against his bonds till one of the Aspect warriors ran his hand over his chains and he fell to the ground screaming in pain, the Exarch somersaulted in the air and brought down both of her feet on Nick's jaw, dislocating it causing him to scream in pain. But this maneuver cost her assault as her comrades basically dog piled her and restrained her.
'Let me go or by Asuryan I will kill you all' The Exarch shouted on the top of her lungs,
'Uhh..aat uawas ah yeahlly aahd aiideah' Nick spoke despite his jaw hanging like fruit from a tree, he reached for his lower jaw and pushed it back into place, 'Aaahgh… Aegeus would you please stop struggling you're suffering for no reason, I'm fine and my healing should kick in' he said using Astartes battle sign.
'What did you do Monkiegh?'
'Nothing Farseer, nothing other than defend my privacy'
The Farseer tried to read his mind but was met with the same type of resistance the Exarch encountered; she backed away in disgust,
'If the Seer council did not want to question you I would have struck you down long ago' she said striking him with the shaft of her spear
A few moments later
'This is the Monkiegh Farseer Ameria?' the Eldar sitting at what one would presume was the head of table spoke,
'Yes, this is indeed the one. This Monkiegh and his band have discovered a way to deal with Warpspawn, effectively'
One sitting at the far end spoke up, 'Pray tell, Farseer Ameria, how this barbarian's technology can help us without blowing us up in the process of activating it'
In a flash a Ameria threw something at the Farseer who had questioned her earlier, the Farseer caught it in the palm of her hand and looked it over, it was a small cubical object.
'And what is this Ameria?'
'Press the middle part down and hold it then you will see'
The Farseer pressed it down for a second, a few seconds passed, nothing happened, the Farseer had a smug smile on her face and was about to retort when her eyes widened and her ears perked up,
'Howww… Ho… How can this be? How… such pure warp energy'
The other Farseers in the chamber looked at her, some of the more bold ones went closer and approached the object, Nick was shocked had only one question in his mind: how did they recover it? It blew up and destroyed that daemon along with it… wait a minute
FLASHBACK
Nick looked at the stunned daemon in front of him; Ramases and his boys' new equipment mean that they could harness warp energy more freely which also meant that they could tap into the Emperor's personal juice, worship energy and using it for their own means in this case in particular it meant using a giant taser on the hermaphrodite Daemon.
'Nick here you get the honors of erasing this freak from existence, AND DON'T YOU EVER MAKE ME WORRIED LIKE THAT! ' Alex punched him on his left pauldron
'Jesus Christ Almighty! Okay Mom'
Nick pushed the middle of the "very cleverly" named "Black Box", the device hummed with power immediately, he slowly lowered it
'Ohh Nick here's an extra on…' a shrukien impacted against Nick's arm making him drop the Black Box just shy of one of the Daemon's arms, Alex immediately dropped her Box as well and grabbed her rifle and started shooting…
PRESENT DAY
'Well I really screwed the pooch on this one didn't I? At least it isn't the more dangerous version'
he said in English knowing very well that they wouldn't understand, in fact he was actually counting on it, no one would really know English in the Forty Second Millennium… except maybe the Perpetuals and the Emperor.
'This warp energy is pure it would be much like your Emperor's, tell us Monkiegh how did you do it?'
The Farseer whose name he learnt was Lusatia and was the equivalent of the Queen of Iybraesil if the way she held herself when she talked and the air she had around her was anything to go by, Nick stayed quite not wanting to give away secrets which were the results of collective research spanning over quite a few centuries, and the amount of work Achilles and Alex put in the tweaking and bug fixing had to be considered as well,
'Very well I am sure our greatest minds can figure it out, in the meantime if you want to ensure your comrade's survival than tell the council who you truly are' on cue Aegeus was led in with several Aspect warriors aiming their Shrukien rifles at his head, the Banshee Exarch from behavior had her sword on his neck, it's razor sharp edge cutting into the skin and causing a small trickle of blood to flow downwards.
Nick weighed his options, 'Can't tell them the truth, Can't tell them lies, since lying and manipulating seem to be hardwired into knife ear DNA, hmm… what to do?' Nick eyed the various Farseers seated in front of him, 90% seemed to be women,
'Why don't you troll them?' a voice spoke up,
'Great I'm going insane now, by the way "voice in my head" these sphess elves can smell a lie from a million light years away'
'Trolling does not necessarily mean lying'
'If I speak and tell you all I know will you spare my companion?' Aegeus shook his head from side to side and communicated using Astartes battle signs
'Commander you can't give them the Information, my life is insignificant compared to the Intel you've had access to'
'Don't worry Aegeus, just go along with what I say and don't act surprised…'
Aegeus continued to struggle, or he was pretending at least, his eyes were glaring at him and Nick could hear muffled words, 'Commander!... believe… turned your back… Traitor' as the attendents dragged Aegeus shouted, 'You'll thank me later!' hoping to sell the act and praying that the Eldar had bought it.
'Well I believe Farseer Ameria here... If that is her name, may have already told you of my name and titles, including my companions so I will skip that already if you wish'
'For the sake of the convenience of everyone present here human, it would be good if you state all those facts again'
Nick chuckled dryly before speaking 'Well my name is Nicholas Santa Clause, Father of Christmas, the celebration not the day itself. I am an Asian, my parents lived in… ' he was interrupted by the Farseer
'What is this Asian? You said you are an Asian, what exactly makes someone Asian?'
'Asians are a category of humans, Asians can complete calculations faster than the fastest Cogitators the Mechanicum has, and they were also known for their practical application of logic to problem ' Nick paused letting the Farseers sink this memeatic information in'
'Such were the mental capabilities of Asians that many jokes evolved around them, for an example; when the questions for a test were given out and the Asian kid is crying than you've really fucked up'
The council was immediately brought into a discussion; alliances were made, deals brokered, promises made, fulfilled and broken.
'At least they didn't learn of the biological weapons we had, boy oh boy would they be excited to use them to deny the Tyrannids Bio-mass, and by Bio-mass I mean Imperial worlds. I wonder how many human lives have been lost due to the Eldar not telling the Imperium about whatever problem was approaching and doing whatever they thought was correct. God if you are listening to my thoughts right now forgive me for harboring hate, I have to stand by my race even if they are the very monsters they had feared in the beginning'
Nick ran his thumb over his right eye 'This is the very thing that makes us humans special isn't it, carrying in on despite the odds'
'Why do I remember a stupid meme? but I can't remember the faces of the ones I love?'
'Because… that Eldar wench wiped the memories you held dear, I don't think Internet pop culture counts as that'
'Yeah buddy, fuck Jake Sully and James Cameron'
