Hello, ladies, here we are again. I have had a manic January, which started off with me making a tiny bit of a mistake on New Year's Eve with a guy I'd just met (like a that kind of mistake yikes), featured me getting drunk with my coworkers and snogging two random lads, and ended with me possibly having the wuhan coronavirus bc now im quite ill and my cough sounds like a sandblaster. I am now several seasons deep into the clone wars, which is? So? Good? Im trying to ignore my rapidly approaching A-Levels so bad that im literally going clubbing every week which tbh is me living my best life, clubbing is so fun. I hope this chapter goes the way I want it to, I'm trying to bring it all together now.

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Chapter 59

Percy XXXVII

I have made the right decision.

I have made the right decision.

Percy repeated it over and over in his head as the doors slammed shut behind him. He gripped the handle of his sword tightly, ignoring the startled looks from the demigods outside with a scowl. Waves of adrenaline tingled in his arms as he jumped the steps and headed straight back into the forest. The leaves crunched to dust under his feet, and he saw birds fly out of their nests away from him. He had made the right decision. He had a Goddess to kill. It was the only way to protect them, why didn't she see that-!

He lashed out with his sword without thinking, slicing a small tree in half in his anger.

Everything he'd done! She- they- it was like he was the bad guy here! He wasn't Luke! Luke betrayed them all. He had gone over to Kronos voluntarily. Percy- he hadn't had a choice about any of this!

He kicked a rock further into the woods, and the ground shook under his feet momentarily. The anger pooled in his gut shot up his throat, twisting his lips into a snarl. The deeper he got, the higher the trees stretched into the blue sky. They curved around him as he strode past. He could smell the smoke from further into the woods where the monster army lurked, from where apparently Octavian had burned down Thalia's tree. Thalia was going to be pissed about that.

She'd definitely take Annabeth's side over his. Her allegiance had always been clear. As would Piper, Jason and Leo. They'd known her longer than they'd known him. Hades, everyone at camp had, including Chiron and Clarisse. The Romans trusted Annabeth; she'd led them while he was in the Pit. He was no longer their Praetor either, so he'd lost Reyna too. So by extension, Hazel and Frank. Ironically, that probably only left Nico on his side, a resentful kid who had hated him for years and blamed him for the death of his sister.

He didn't need them, he told himself. He'd made it this far without them.

The rage washed down his arms again, barely even noticing that the forest around him grew quieter and darker with each step. He lashed out again, cutting through whatever blocked his path in blind anger.

"Now, what would the dryads say?" came a voice ahead of him, obscured by branches.

Percy sliced them off in one powerful stroke. The sword reacted well with the sheer power bubbling underneath his fingertips, like it was melting into his very being with each blow, and the momentum that forced tsunamis through brick walls with ease was now his to control in his strikes. It almost felt overwhelming. Beyond the tree, he could now see the owner of the voice he had heard.

Akhlys looked like a victim of famine: she had a dripping nose, sunken eyes, stringy grey hair matted to her head, and large amounts of dust covered her emaciated body. Bloody claw-marks streaked down her cheeks and they dripped blood on her tattered dress. Dark red lurked behind her filthy nails, and Percy suspected with revulsion that she had been the one to inflict such wounds on herself.

"You're Akhlys?" He levelled his sword at her pathetic face.

The woman nodded. Percy felt his lip curl into a nasty sneer.

"You're the second wave. You? Some minor Goddess covered in dirt?" he snorted humourlessly, "Gaia's scraping the bottom of the barrel."

He spun his sword in his hand. He was already making plans for what he was going to do after he killed her. He'd cut her head off, probably not give it to Annabeth though- even though a wave of vindictiveness told him to- and then he'd go straight for Gaia. Maybe go around, he thought, marching towards Akhlys, who hadn't moved, cut through the ranks at the back and fight his way through to her. It was unlikely he'd have any other demigods as backup but that didn't trouble him the way it might have done a year ago.

"Foolish boy." Akhlys whispered as he got closer. The dust quivered at their feet. Fog swirled around them with a sound like agonised wailing. "Minor goddess? I was old before the Titans were born. I was old when Gaea first woke. Misery is eternal. Existence is misery. I was born of the eldest ones - of Chaos and Night."

Percy felt an unfamiliar shiver suddenly crackle down his spine. Her voice was like nails grating against a chalkboard. Hearing Akhlys speak, he no longer found it strange that she had clawed her own cheeks. The goddess radiated pure pain. She had suffered. She knew suffering. She was suffering.

He blinked and glared at her to try and clear his head.

"Witch." he hissed, before realising something. "Wait, if you're Nyx's kid, aren't you supposed to be on my side?" He gestured vaguely to the tattoo on his arm, that twisted and moved on its own like smoke.

"Nyx is my mother," Akhlys confirmed, with a hand movement that could have been a gesture of respect, "But I am on the side of misery. Gaia will cause so much. I quite like the sound of that." she sighed, almost wistfully.

He narrowed his eyes. "You're sick."

"The world is sick." she replied, and Percy dimly registered how foggy the area around them was getting. "So many illnesses. So many wars without end. A thousand innocents die for each soldier. The rich gorge themselves on guilt while the poor scrape together what little dignity they have left. A vicious cycle. I am the creation and the cause, and they all scream in my head without end."

Percy raised his eyebrows and wrinkled his nose.

"Damn." he said, before shrugging, "Sucks to be you."

Akhlys turned that washed out and sunken gaze on him directly. Around the goddess, flowers bloomed in the dust—dark purple, orange, and red blossoms that smelled sickly sweet. Percy's head swam.

"You have your own fair share of pain as well, it seems."

"I'd hardly say it's fair."

"No one does. That's what makes it fair."

"You really enjoy this?" Percy snapped and gestured around him with his sword, wondering why he hadn't just killed her already. "You think this is all sunshine and rainbows?"

Beads of blood dripped off her jaw onto the leaves of the forest floor. Percy froze them to her face, but she didn't seem to care, or even notice. He narrowed his eyes further at her as she continued speaking, almost rapturously.

"War is exquisite. Hundreds of cries of agony all ringing out at the same time. You could all walk away unharmed, but it is in the nature of humans and immortals alike to stake their claim in misery for fleeting desires."

Someone ate their dictionary for breakfast, he thought.

"When you die, suffering won't stop, will it?" he said with doubt, raising his sword regardless.

"Misery is eternal." she replied. "It cannot be killed."

"Oh, I beg to differ."

"Then beg. It makes no difference."

Percy shrugged. "Not for you."

He raised his sword- why was it down again?- and pulled it back like a baseball bat. Oh, he was gonna enjoy this. Akhlys stared up at him. And she really stared at him. Hard. A shiver ran through him. It was like he was a book and she was flicking through the pages, walking across his grave unannounced. His hands trembled minutely.

"Do you know what happens after this for you?" Akhlys murmured, making no effort to fend off the demigod poised to kill in front of her.

Percy pulled a face. "What?"

"I've seen what happens. What will happen. I've felt it and I'll tell you. You kill Gaia. Scatter her. She doesn't rise for many more millennia. The Pit stays closed, her army is defeated, and you have her ichor spattered across your face. Along with the blood of the demigods opposing you. But you tell me, do your friends see you as a hero or a murderer?"

"A- what?" Percy felt thrown. "I don't know- I don't care. Shut up."

"You then hand over your sword to the Olympians. It is the most powerful weapon ever made. They know it can kill them, know you can kill them. Only one person left knows how to make it and he is also the only one who stands a chance in hand-to-hand combat. Do they destroy it, or turn it on the final threat to their existence?"

"Funny." he sniped. As if he had any intention of giving it up in the first place. He lifted his sword. Why hadn't he killed her yet? He could almost hear it slicing wetly through her neck. Could hear the sound of her head hit the ground.

"You return to your mother. She knows you're not the little boy she raised. She knows you murdered him. When you scream in your sleep in a language she doesn't recognise, does she come to comfort the shell of her dead son, or does she lock her bedroom door with mournful tears?"

Something in Percy's chest echoed, like a muffled shout into an abyss.

"I said shut up." he snarled at her.

"You can't hide from me." Akhlys said simply, the rasp of her voice prickling in his brain. "I know you better than anyone. I have suffered what you have right beside you. I have felt your fear, your hatred, your desperation to live and your desperation to die. I know how this ends."

Percy's arm shook. He waited for his temper to snap, waited for his vision to flood with red. For the burst of adrenaline that had fuelled most of his recent slaughters. But the anger that had kept him going was no longer boiling under his skin, but cold behind his eyes. His sword felt heavy in his hands, and suddenly the power flooding through him seemed a lot scarier than it had before. He felt small.

"You- you don't know anything." he snapped at her- and it was hollow, it was hollow anger that made everything around him seem artificial. "You don't-"

"Understand?" Akhlys ran her bony hand up his sword arm to his shoulder, a mockery of comfort leaving trails of cobwebs in its wake. His skin crawled. "I understand. Even more than you do yourself. You think if you can defeat Gaia, that you will have proved something to yourself. That you could defeat the God of the Pit if, or when, he comes looking for you. You think that you won't be so afraid anymore."

"I'm not-"

"You are. Terror leaves your breaths heaving against your ribs. You're a child in a war you didn't start and can't end. So aggressive. So defensive. So curled up in on yourself, like a wounded animal lashing out. You fear you've twisted yourself too far to go back but not far enough to win. But it's not about winning. All you want is comfort. To feel safe. To be protected. It is this that drives you insane in the end. But now… who would protect you? You've pushed away your friends-"

"That's not-." he snapped.

"-the rest of them fear you, think you have snapped. They don't trust you to watch their backs, lest you put your sword through them-"

"-no-" Percy tried to speak strongly, but his voice cracked. "No, they don't." he tried again, forcefully louder. His voice echoed firmly in their little clearing. Akhlys paid it no mind.

"You already know your father never wanted you, that he doesn't love you. You are the biggest mistake of his immortal life and he told you this when you were a child. 'An unforgivable mistake on his part', he said. He is sorry you were born. Yes, he once had a hero son, victor of the second Titan War, hailed as a champion of Olympus. He might have even felt pride. Now, he sees a son dripping in blood, victor of each and every battle he enters, hailed and feared as the Godkiller in the deepest parts of the Underworld. He feels something else, and it is not pride. Resignation, perhaps. He knows what he may have to do. Has seen this before. He was unsure if he would see it with you, may have even truly believed in you, but who can deny what is right in front of them?"

Percy didn't speak. He didn't know how to argue back. It… it wasn't as if his father had ever seemed entirely happy he existed. The white fog around the two of them was almost opaque now, a smoky void creeping across the forest floor. Akhlys still hadn't moved from her rock. Percy's limbs were heavy.

"He won't strike the final blow." Akhlys said, her nails scratching light lines up and down his forearm, up and down, up and down. It stung. "He can, and he would, but he won't. For your mother. For whom you could have been had you not fallen. Then, he'll visit her just the once after you're gone. She will slam the door in his face. She blames him. She blames you. She doesn't want to, but she can't help it. Her misery is a special kind; one of a parent who loses a child. There's no word for that, but a whole host of pains come with it. Especially for one who had to watch her child die twice."

Percy took a step back, and that one physical movement was enough to send a wave of fatigue through him. His trainer snapped a twig underfoot. The rest of the twigs left uncovered by the fog flickered into bones before his eyes, leaving him stood on hundreds of thousands of skeletons. He scrunched his eyes shut blearily.

"Stop this." he croaked, realising for the first time that the plants that had sprung up around them were emitting toxic fumes. Poisons. He could feel them burning acridly in his nose and lungs.

If the Goddess of misery could look gleeful, Percy guessed that would be what he could see in her torn face.

"You thought it would be easy. Minor Goddess." She made a noise like she was choking.

Maybe she was laughing.

"You thought that I would unveil a weapon of my own. I would be overpowered in combat, and you would land the final blow." she stated.

At this, she slid off her rock. She hobbled over to him, her face wincing as if she was walking with bare feet on broken glass. Percy's hand clenched thin air, and he saw with a pit in his stomach that it was empty. His sword lay on the floor, just out of reach from the trickles of poison that were eating away at the dead leaves on the ground with small hisses. It must have slid out of his hand. He knew he needed to pick it up, needed to fight. But he couldn't even get angry. Couldn't access any passion. Not even a sense of protectiveness.

"What have you done?" he whispered, his tongue heavy in his mouth, as if speaking took a monumental effort.

"Misery. All that you have ever felt and all that you have ever caused. You walked in here a ticking time bomb with all the misery you hold within. I need no physical weapon. Suffering cuts as deeply as a knife. Deeper."

The weigh on his shoulders and swimming in his head had him pressing a hand to the ground to steady himself, sank into a wobbling crouch.

He looked at the streams of poison around him. Streams. Water. He knew what he could do.

He could force her to her knees with her own ichor. She was a primordial, but less so- it would be easier with her. Gaia was a physical entity, the very Earth; misery was a very real but very intangible concept. He could funnel her own poisons into her mouth, nose, eyes, ears. Could fill up her sinuses and choke her to death, leaving her small, dusty body to rot in the woods.

But Percy had the misery of what felt like thousands of souls building up in him, pressing against his chest and numbing his limbs. It felt like it was blocking out everything. He couldn't even feel anger towards Akhlys. He was so drained. He fell backwards and landed in a sitting position. Access to any emotions at all beyond crippling and depressive lethargy had been cut off. He watched the poison consume a log like acid. Percy couldn't fight this. This wasn't something he could just stab his way through, and he distantly realised just how much he had underestimated the Goddess of Misery.

Akhlys sat on the ground by him.

"At the end, there's one last obstacle." she said. "The one thing that matters perhaps the most. You fight for each other, she fights for you, you fight for her. What happens when she decides that maybe you're the one she should be fighting instead?"

"I don't want to know." Percy whispered.

Akhlys sighed deeply next to him, as if she had just sunk into a hot bath. She must be enjoying this, he thought, and he wrapped his arms around his legs. He was so tired.

"She's the one to strike the final blow." Akhlys said. "You are consumed by hatred, your eyes and soul black as the night sky; only love could put an end to it for good. And she used to love you, she did. More than the moon and the stars themselves. She's the only one who doesn't blame you, not even a little."

Percy's breaths came in juddery. He held on tighter to his legs and rested his chin between his knees.

"She blames herself. You did all of this to save her, at the very start at least. Maybe if she had been with you, she thinks, things would be different. Whether that would mean that she would have gone feral as well, she doesn't know, but if the two of you were together, she thinks she might not have cared. But you weren't. So when she stabs you in the chest, you rip out her throat with your teeth."

Percy felt his eyes well up.

"Her funeral is big. She's the hero."

He felt like he couldn't move.

"Your body is quietly burnt by Hephaestus on Zeus' orders. No one objects. They wish they wanted to. You fell further than any demigod has ever fallen. No one breaks the news to your mother until Poseidon shows up a year later. But she knew. In her heart, she already knew that her little boy was long gone. Whatever crawled out of the Pit in his body wasn't him."

Percy's hands shook. He pressed his forehead into his knees.

"Your soul screams murder from the Fields of Punishment for the rest of eternity. Sometimes Hades and Persephone hear it from their palace. They flinch as they are reminded of the desperate young man who traded his morality for the life of the one he loved." Akhlys clawed hands came to rest on his wrists again. She traced vertical lines up and down.

"Do you want me to do it?" Her whisper made his body shake again.

It seemed like kindness, but Percy knew it was not. A choice was just more misery. Everything was just more misery.

"Murderer." Akhlys murmured in his ear, digging her nails in. "Godkiller. Executioner."

Even the brightly coloured poisonous plants had started to fade into grey.

"Give up, Percy Jackson." Akhlys soothed him, "Isn't death better than what awaits you?"

"I-" Percy tried.

A tear slipped down his cheek.

"Paws off, grandma!" bellowed a voice to his left as the last of Percy's vision faded.

There was an almighty scream in front of him, and everything snapped back into technicolour vision.
Percy blinked.

The birds cawed wildly, wings flapping madly through the trees, as Akhlys wailed again, staring in horror at the sword tip protruding from her chest. The sword yanked out a second later, and Percy closed his eyes as the familiar heat rushed over his face, the white light blinding behind his eyelids. Reality hit him like a slap in the face.

When he opened them again, he stared. He was sat on the ground of the forest. Without the Goddess around, the air seemed thinner, beams of light actually making it through the overhead canopy. Bugs dashed around. The fog and poison had disappeared, though the burn marks remained from where it had eaten into the leaves. Akhlys' empty body was slumped over. There was a fallen tree acting as a bridge across the charred floor.

It was probably how she had got across.

Annabeth was talking rapidly, wrapping something around one of his wrists. He didn't know what she was saying yet, but was content to just hear her voice. Her eyes met his. His nose stung.

"Percy?"

You rip out her throat with your teeth.

His eyes welled up again. She looked at him in alarm and dropped to her knees in front of him.

"Hey-" she said softly, resting her hand on his arm, and that was it for him.

His forehead hit her shoulder as her arms came up around him.

And he cried.

Great sobs wracked his body, but Annabeth held on like a lighthouse in a storm. Her hand came up to rub his back. He cried into his hands, clenching his eyes shut and just letting go. Wave after wave of misery flowed out of him. Holding onto her tightly with agitation, he was helpless to hold back his tears. He cried for what could have been, what could still be, and what was.

"It's alright." Annabeth murmured into his hair. "I knew you weren't okay. But whatever's going on, we can fix it. I'll help you fix it. You're not alone anymore."

Percy couldn't help but choke up at that even more. He was wrong, he was so wrong before- he needed her. He needed her so much. He held onto her waist, afraid to let go. She was warm, and her shirt smelled like paper and washing powder, making Percy lightheaded with familiarity. After a few minutes that could have been hours, Annabeth began talking quietly to him. Her hand was in his hair now, slowly running through it in calm motions. His cheeks felt drenched. He sniffed, his shoulders shivering. He hadn't cried like that since… well, since he had found out Annabeth had died, but before that? Before this quest? It felt like years. This had been long overdue.

"Hey, screw Akhlys." Annabeth said emphatically with tiny shakes, "Screw her. She's a psycho who scratches her own face up. Who are you gonna listen to, her or me?"

Percy held her tighter and kissed her shoulder.

"Good answer." she mumbled into his hair.

He breathed in the smell of her shampoo and almost cried again. Snuffling only a little bit, he very unwillingly pulled away from Annabeth, noting the twin wet blobs on her shirt with a hint of guilt. When he looked up, her gaze was full of concern and none of the anger that had been there earlier. He too felt distinctly calmer. The power under his skin had lulled. The anger in his chest felt a little further away. Percy did the one thing he didn't think even Gaia had anticipated him to do.

He broke down.

"Annabeth." he mumbled. "I'm so sorry."

Whatever she had been expecting, he clearly surprised her. She blinked, and he realised they were holding hands still.

"Percy-"

"I'm so sorry." he choked on his sob, another tear streaming down his face. "Please don't go. Please don't leave me alone."

"I've got you." she murmured fiercely, reaching forwards for a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around him, "I've got you, it's okay. I won't leave you. I'll never leave you."

"I don't want to fight." he spoke up, and he meant it more than anything, feeling drained of all the arrogance he had marched in here with, "I don't want us to fight. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to. I don't want to."

"Percy, slow down." Annabeth cupped his cheek. "It's alright, it's just you and me, breathe."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the blood." he continued regardless, "I should have but I was scared and I didn't- I don't- want to stop using it, or have everybody look at me like i- like I was- but I also don't wanna lose you-"

"No one else knows about it but us." she said, easing him out of her hug, rubbing her thumb over his hand. He sniffed hard.

He shook his head. "Too late. The whole of the Pit knows. Gaia knows. She'll tell everyone, tell the Gods-"

"Then we tell them first."

Percy shook his head without realising then stopped. He sighed, dropping his head down low. He wiped his cheeks roughly.

"I love you." he said. "I want to tell you everything but there are things I don't want anyone to know. There are things that I- and people- thoughts- and I don't even know how I feel any more about it all but it's not what you might want me to feel and I know there are things I should regret but I don't and-"

"Percy, breathe! How are you supposed to apologise to me if you keep going purple?"

Annabeth gripped him strongly and gave him a look. He stopped and breathed in and out deliberately. A very small smile made its way onto his face, but just for her. Only for her.

"There we go." she murmured. "And I love you too, you idiot."

As if she couldn't stop herself, she leant forwards and kissed him gently. His cheeks heated up. He rested his forehead on hers after.

"Did you hear any of what she said?" he asked.

"I heard her ask you if you wanted to do something." Annabeth said, a little uncertainly, "And then a couple bits after that. She started digging her nails into you and I might have lost it." she added sheepishly, but holding up his right arm as evidence, where Percy could see four livid scratches from elbow to wrist. They were bleeding sluggishly and stung. He frowned; he hadn't even felt it.

"You killed her." he realised.

Annabeth chewed her lip as she looked at the body behind them. "Yeah." she said in an odd voice, "Guess I did." She looked at him. "Some guy I know told me she was a pushover so I thought I'd come and test out his theory."

Percy smiled at her. "Maybe it only applies to you."

"Lucky me." Annabeth smiled back, before she looked back again. "It was weird. I didn't think it would be that-"

"Easy?" he asked.

She looked at him with dawning realisation. It was like she was seeing him in a new light. Percy nodded; he understood.

"How many- uh- no, actually yeah, I'll say it, let's just go for honesty here- how many Gods did you kill downstairs?" Annabeth asked.

Percy looked away. Apate, weird God guy who Percy actually thought might have been Moros, the God of Doom, Adaphagia and Eucleia- was that it? Were there anymore? He couldn't remember. He might have killed a few indirectly when he accidentally trashed the Pit. He didn't know.

"Four, I think." he said.

Annabeth raised her eyebrows. "Jeez."

Percy's throat was tight. "That's why- down in the Pit," he began, desperate to start getting things out, to stop feeling like he was the only one holding it all together, "They started calling me Godkiller. I dunno who started it- actually, no, it might have been Nyx. I don't know. But Gaia knows too. They all do."

"Godkiller." Annabeth ran a hand through her hair. Percy couldn't swallow the lump in his throat. "That's going to be- difficult, to say the least, to introduce without judgement from the Gods. They might take it a little personally."

"Mmm." Percy acknowledged with his head down. "And there's more. There's so much more. I want you to understand but I don't know how to- I- I don't even know where to begin."

"The start?"

He shook his head. "It wasn't too bad at the start. Well-" he choked a little- "As far as 'too bad' goes."

"How about you tell me something small? I want to understand. Like… like why you can't say the name of the Pit."

Oh-

"No." Percy shook his head instantly. "No that's not- that's probably the worst- there's a reason, Annabeth. And it's a big one. I can't- I don't want to think about that. For a while. Ever." A shudder ran through him.

Annabeth held up her hands in surrender. "Could Gaia at least use it against you?"

Percy bit his lip. "Yeah. Probably. Most likely. But- Annabeth- you can't imagine-" he trailed off, red-rimmed eyes large, trying to convey what he couldn't say.

She got it.

"Okay. Come on then. Hit me with the worst." she said, crossing her legs as if to brace herself for it, her grey eyes wide but wary. The trees creaked around them in a slight breeze, and he almost felt like he and Annabeth were fourteen again, lying on the summer grass together playing truth or dare.

"You don't want it." he replied. "I don't want to- unload all of this on you."

"Then tell me something small."

"Okay." he breathed. "Okay. I-" He had no clue where to start. This was about getting it out in the open. What had he never told anyone else? What was important but wasn't going to make Annabeth run for her life? He looked at her and caught the slight flicker of her glance over his scarred eye.

Oh.

There was… that.

"I got locked up a couple times," he said, vaguely waving his previously chained arm, which still displayed vivid red scars around the wrist. "Uh- they made me do this whole 'fight to the death' thing in this arena against a bunch of monsters. That's how I got this." he said, pointing at his eye. "Antaeus. He had a bit of a vendetta against me. Son-of-Poseidon-type beat. He was trying to kill me, and- well, he didn't- I just wasn't quick enough. But then I stabbed him in the neck, so I reckon we're even."

Her blonde hair shone in the sun, he observed.

"Okay." she nodded. Complete acceptance. Percy didn't deserve her.

"That's nowhere near the worst thing." he sighed. "Annabeth, I- I don't even feel bad about some things, but I know you will. I don't want-" he let his hands wave for a second aimlessly before letting them drop.

"Percy, I keep thinking about this, and I think you've been desensitised to it all. Post-traumatic stress. We- I should have expected this. It's basic psychology." she explained. She held his gaze strongly.

"You think I'm… under-reacting?" Percy screwed up his nose.

"I think you've been deprived of a normal reaction to compare your own to." she said, and Percy wondered how long this had been bouncing around in her head for. "It wasn't as if any of us were down there with you. Like… did anyone down there ever make you feel bad for stuff you did?"

Percy wracked his brain. "I don't know- they were all doing some pretty dodgy things of their own-"

"Exactly." Annabeth clicked. "Observation and imitation."

"So I what- went native?"

"Basically." Annabeth nodded with a sympathetic wince.

"Oh. Great. Am I cured now, Doctor Chase?" he smiled at her, and she grinned back.

"Shut up. I'm not diagnosing you, I'm just saying. You went all 'monkey see monkey do' in Tartarus and this is the result."

Percy flinched and Annabeth was quick with her apology.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." Percy sighed. "Fine. You asked. Okay, so- I don't know. I made friends with this dude called Damasen down there."

Annabeth raised her eyebrows. "The… Giant. The anti-Ares? Oh- does that mean he's nice then?"

"Yeah." Percy said.

"That's not bad."

"No. That's not all of it." Percy said, thinking about one certain event. He thought about it quite a lot. "We were in this one fight and he got hurt bad. Couldn't move bad. And I- I thought about leaving him alone in the middle of nowhere because he was slowing me down. That felt bad then and it feels bad now."

"But did you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"That's not bad either then."

"When he was killed, I tortured the cyclops that killed him to death with his own blood."

Annabeth's mouth made an 'o' shape. She nodded vaguely, eyebrows slowly raising.

"Oh." she said slowly.

"I don't regret that part though." he added, because he needed to get that out there. "He killed my friend."

"A cyclops killed a Giant?" Annabeth screwed up her nose suddenly, and of course, that's what she narrowed it down to.

Percy shrugged. "I thought it was weird too, but I think the rules up here aren't the same down there."

"Weird. Okay." she urged. "Keep going."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"I… I exploded a Goddess from the inside out. With her ichor. Boom." he added humourlessly, and winced at the wide eyed stare he met.

"Exploded her?"

"Yeah. She was trying to drag me off- I was hanging on to this stalactite- it was like a two hundred story drop- it's complicated- and she was hanging on to my leg."

"And that killed her? You said- you said you could kill them with your sword?"

Oh.

"And this way too. Like blood. But it's ichor. If you pull enough out of them, they just-"

"I get it." she said coldly, before rubbing a thumb in between her eyebrows. "Do you regret it?"

"No."

"Okay. Give me worse."

"Annabeth-"

"Come on. I don't like all this- stuff- between us. If we get it out, they can't use it against us."

Percy stared at her.

"How are you this calm about it now?" he said.

Annabeth looked down at her hands. "I'm not. But as soon as you walked out those doors, I wanted you to come back. I wanted to march right out there after you. It feels like all we've done for the past year is get separated. By Hera, by the Pit, by death- I don't want us to be on opposite sides anymore. I still feel pretty uncomfortable about this, and I don't think it's healthy for you, but I'm not letting you go through this alone, because that is exactly what Gaia wants. You've done that enough. And, so help me, I trust you. If you say you know what you're doing, I believe you. You're not getting out of this that easy, Seaweed Brain."

Percy kissed her softly. He rested his forehead against hers. He hoped he knew what he was doing too.

"I just want you with me. I don't know what answers you want from me, Wise Girl." Percy's hands were clenched and shoved tightly under his thighs, "It's just I-"

He cut himself off with a grim pause. Annabeth took hold of his hands instead, withdrawing them firmly.

"What I did- It wasn't just what I had to do. Some of it... a lot of it... it was what I wanted to do. I wanted to hurt them, to kill them. And if it was what I needed to do to survive as well, then great. Two birds with one stone." he said, breathing in and out slowly to bring himself back a little. "All those monsters down there, everything they've ever done to us, it was like- like karma, you know?"

Annabeth began to chew her lip, something she only did when she was thinking hard. Percy looked away, eyebrows furrowed, and glared at an innocent tree to take out his frustrations. Both their hands twisted in their grip but neither let go.

"I know what you see when I tell you stuff like this." he confessed quietly. "But all I see is me, on my own, just trying to survive and get even."

His voice came out quiet the next time he spoke.

"A lot of people down there wanted to hurt me, Annabeth. And some got lucky. I didn't. So when I got the chance to hurt them back..." he trailed off helplessly.

Annabeth didn't speak for a minute. "Keep going," she said eventually, "Tell me something you know I won't like."

Percy closed his eyes and scowled.

"You won't look at me the same." he said. "Annabeth, I know they seem all out of the blue to you, but when I say that I couldn't think of anything else to do, you know, odds are there wasn't a better option available. Or I didn't have you to think of a better way."

"I believe you." Annabeth said, and he looked her dead in the eye; she really trusted him.

Maybe he could do the same with this. He didn't know. For someone who claimed to have minimal regrets, it wasn't half hard for him to tell Annabeth about them.

"I… there's a lot of things."

"Reel them off for me then, rapid fire. Judgement free zone." She held up her hands like an oath.

"Annabeth I'm pretty sure over half of these are war crimes."

"I'm not gonna snitch on you."

He smiled at her before taking a deep breath. "Okay. But can we head back as we talk? I don't wanna be here anymore. And I might have forgotten to put on my armour."

"No problem." she snorted, and he caught her eyes flickering to Akhlys. "I don't wanna be here anymore either."

They stood up, and Percy offered out his hand to her. She looked at it for a beat, then reached up slowly and took it. Their fingers laced naturally.

"It doesn't feel like you're killing a God, does it?" he murmured.

"No." she replied quietly.

"That's what made it easy. It was just like another monster. Maybe that's why I don't feel bad."

"Maybe." she said.

Finding their way back wasn't hard; Annabeth had raised her eyebrows at path of destruction Percy had hacked through the trees, and he shrugged, a little sheepish. He let his thoughts run straight out of his mouth.

"I cut out a Titan's liver." he told her as they walked.

"Okay." she nodded. "Why?"

"This witch wanted it, and I needed her to get out of the Labyrinth."

"You were in the Labyrinth?"

"Yeah. I kind of caved the ceiling of the Pit in and climbed out. I thought I'd just pop out on to the surface or something, but no, big surprise."

"Makes sense though." she mused, before her brow furrowed and she gave him a look. "Caved in the ceiling?"

"Earthquake. Like Mt Saint Helens. No other choice." he said, before the ghost of a grin crept up his face. "I really left that place a mess."

"Good." She squeezed his hand.

"What else?" he thought aloud, still holding a couple things close to his chest. Like what happened to Koios. Like the Voice. Like the God of the Pit. He felt so much lighter telling her everything, but some stuff would have to wait. "Uh… I don't know. I threw Kampê in the Styx after I got the blessing, but I don't think I'll ever feel bad about that."

"You got the Achilles' curse back?"

"Briefly." he conceded.

"I didn't know you fought Kampê." Annabeth said, frowning, and Percy could tell she was thinking about the time the two of them had gone head to head with her; it hadn't gone well.

"I had a Titan, a Giant and the Maeonian Drakon on my side, Annabeth. Don't worry."

"Titan?"

Oh.

"Do you remember what I told you about that time Nico, Thalia and I fought Iapetus?"

"Vaguely. You threw him in the Lethe?"

"Yeah. Wiped his memory. I told him his name was Bob. Well, 'Bob' turned up downstairs, and I convinced him to fight with us for a bit. We lost him in the fight against Kampê."

"I'm sorry." Annabeth said tactfully.

"Me too."

Their shoulders bumped together instinctively.

"I convinced him to kill Hyperion." Percy remembered. It all felt like so long ago. He frowned. "He may not have really remembered who he was, but I made him kill his brother."

"Do you feel bad about it?"

Percy winced. "Not really. I could barely walk. If Hyperion had got to me before Bob got to him, I'd be done for."

She gave him a look that screamed 'Explain! Now!'.

"Uh- have you ever heard of the Arai?" he asked.

Annabeth pulled a face. "They're… spirits? Spirits of curses."

He nodded, grimacing. "Yeah. Nasty things. Kill one and if anyone's ever cursed you, they pass it on to you."

She gave him a wincing twitch of a smile. "How many did you kill?" she asked.

"Lost count," he returned guiltily. "Ten? I only got nine curses though, reckon one of them forgot, but they nearly got me. Broken leg, stabbed in the chest, concussion. Some people really weren't my biggest fans."

"Di Immortales, Percy." she sighed.

"Damasen saved me, I was fine. And we got Maia out of it too." he said, thinking fondly about the beast. "Hey, how did she-"

"She hitched a ride on Clarisse's ship." Annabeth reassured him. "Apparently a little scary to sleep near but ultimately not a problem. I heard her and Clarisse get along like a house on fire."

Percy frowned. "Drakon stealer." he grumbled. "That's not supposed to be part of the plan."

"What is the plan?" Annabeth asked him curiously, something she didn't ask him often.

"Kill Gaia." he said instantly. That would never change. A flicker of anger sparked back to life in his chest.

"What, like in combat? She doesn't seem to be the fighting type, Percy." Annabeth frowned. "She manipulates people to fight for her instead."

That was true. It seemed like all Gaia had done was throw enemy after enemy at him. Like a test.

"Then I'll catch her by surprise." he said slowly.

"Good one."

"No, I'm serious." he said, stopping her with wide eyes, as quite possibly the stupidest and most dangerous plan he had ever thought of started to build up in his mind. "And I think I know how to do it as well. And we've already got everything we need. Think about it. We already know what she wants. We know how she manipulates- she's the one who sent Akhlys and thinks that she has all of our fates planned out. We know what she expects. So we give her it."

Annabeth stared at him warily.

"She's done all of this, with one goal in mind. Well," he amended, "Two if you count the destruction of the earth, but that's irrelevant right now. She wants me."

He held her hands tightly and stared at her, hoping desperately that she would get what he left unspoken. With a twitch of her face, she gave him a questioning look, followed by a glare. One that said, 'If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, I think I'm going to kill you'. Percy gave her a tiny, apologetic nod of confirmation. Understanding flooded through her face and she swore out loud. If they were both twelve again, he'd be anticipating a punch to the arm any second now.

But Annabeth's eyes began to sparkle as they settled onto the same wavelength. It was a stupid plan, it was a laughable plan and their odds of failing with intensely fatal results were incredibly high.

But that just summed up every plan they'd ever made together.

The pair shared a mischievous look, and suddenly Percy felt months of pain lift off of him. It was like they had never been separated.

"Okay." Annabeth said, "So- let's give you to her."

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Okay clubbing was fine until I got spiked and no one, not even me, knows where I was for two hours after getting kicked out of the club, which was traumatic but nevertheless we move. I also kinda smashed kinda guessed my A-Level mocks, and I'm literally obsessed with star wars rn. Hot guy from work quit :( but we're going to the same party in march so who knows. I know this chapter is late, believe me I know, but yall,,, writing is hard. I gotta bust out 5k words of literature from literally nowhere and if I aint in the right mood, no force on earth can make me write. Idk who yallses favourite star wars character is but the love of my life's name starts with A and ends in nakin Skywalker. OH ALSO- I just planned out the final battle,,, the next three chapters,,, I'm shaking. If i can pull it off, it's gonna slap so fuckin hard. With big things like this, it's difficult to end it well, and this feels like a crazy way to tie it all together. Idk. If u don't like it pls be nice, i am trying rlly hard to tie everything up.