Part 7: The Grove

Chapter 47: To Discover Oneself

Just gonna keep on uploading these suckers over to here.

I don't own Pokémon.


Earlier

"So, who's that, uhm, skywisp with the crazy metal rod?"

"Metal rod? The one that looks like a lightning bolt? Her name's Alli. She's been with us the whole time. I'm surprised you haven't met her – she knows everybody."

"Is she nice? She's kind of cute, but I always see her either by herself or with Arcadia."

"Nice? No clue. I don't really know a thing about Alli, other than her having to do with the Circle kids. I can't doubt the girl. Arcadia trusts her, so I should, too, but... 's hard to say with things the way they are now."

"Mmh, there are a lot of Flux and violent Pokémon coming to town. Don't they have somewhere better to be? Why can't they keep to themselves?

"'Cause we got the resources and they got junk. Delta Meadow aside, I've actually been worried about the outsiders, too. Ever since Secany left us, a lotta folks haven't felt safe here. When you keep to yourself and happen to be a little more capable than the rest of us, like Alli, it just doesn't feel right."

"Capable? Do you... not trust Alli?"

"I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is, I just don't feel like WE'RE in capable hands anymore. We depended on Secany and Rayse to teach us how to use our powers as Pokémon. Even though Rayse is still in Autumnridge, she's... so moody now. Heh, reminds me of my daughter. Noticed that? Rayse doesn't talk to anybody. It's like she's hung up on something."

"And she doesn't wanna teach us anything..."

"See, yeah. And neither Alli nor Charley, for that matter, can do it. They're skywisps, not Pokémon. The more time we sit around chewing the fat and asking stupid questions, the more time we give the outsiders to come in and take this all away."

"So we need a leader?"

"Something to that nature. More than anything else, we need security."

"Hmm... I think you're right, but we also need communication. I'm... I'm gonna go talk to Alli."

"...Up to you. Just be careful. I heard she's dangerous when cranky."

"Uhm, like you, Doc?"

"Don't flatter me, Flicker... Anyway, go have fun. I'll check back with you when I hear word from Charley."

"Gotcha~!"

Alli

Phone in hand, I scrolled through various messages, miscellaneous pictures, and all the like. I used the touchscreen about as well as I could with nothing but the thumb on my opposing hand. Didn't really have fingers other than the thumb, but it never bothered me until I tried to type something in. It wasn't impossible, but it took a lot longer than it needed to.

I did this just because I could. I scrolled through memories because, for some reason, I still had a signal on this thing, and I could charge it whenever I wanted. Myself. I didn't even need an electrical outlet. Whenever it was about to die, I could just as easily plug the tip of my tail into the thing and have it charge back up. Cute, right? Might'a been better if I couldn't, 'cause I hated having to see all the emojis sent to me from friends that weren't around to make 'em anymore. I hated seeing selfies. I hated reading blogs about cheer leading affairs. I hated reading poems; but, in spite of that, I was obsessed with it.

I couldn't believe he called me...

He... he did that. Fucking HIM. How, I thought...

No, I've been over this. Just let it go. Cadi told me to let it go, and I'll do that. It's not important. I don't care.

I took a deep breath, tossed this electric brick down to the bed of towels and blankets all around me. I grimaced and bit my bottom lip when I noticed a loud clang. My head swerved so quickly to the source of the noise that I took a slap of black hair to my face – that and I'd forgotten about my fangs, so biting down on my lip kind of hurt like a bitch.

"Oh, piss..." I sighed. The phone struck my re-bar. I did sort of leave that laying around. Yeah, that thing – the stick of metal that I liked to bash heads with whenever I needed to.

I brushed the phone aside and picked up the cold, warped metal bar. It was brown with rust, slightly cleaner at each of the ends, and... happened to be shaped like a bolt of lightning. 'Guess I had too much fun, I thought. Surprised they didn't ban me from coming back here with how much damage I could put out, but hey, their call. Whoever 'they' were.

"Nah, no one's in charge here." I shook my head, smirking without much reason. I set the 'lightning rod' back down on my messy blanket mattress. Hurt a lot less to touch than a certain Cross, but it was heavier.

I lay back, basking in the feeling of safety, a rarity today – and today couldn't even end. Were I not hanging around in my overly accommodating, dirty gray tent, I would've been staring right up at a red sky, black clouds sleepily drifting by like sad ghosts. Somewhere, accentuating it all with some mysterious cross between beauty and chaos, an incomplete sun shined, broken apart like uneven slices of a pie. It didn't give off warmth. I didn't feel like anything. It never went away and made room for the moon. It just sat on the horizon like a tyrant on his throne that no one had the power to overtake.

I closed my eyes, happily letting the weight from time spent without sleep cover up my view of the sagging fabric of the tent. It was getting harder and harder to tell when the right time to sleep was. Was it now? Would I have been risking too much if I slept just for a few hours? What if other people were asleep and no one was here to keep an eye on things? Not like I did a great job at that. Why'd I even care all that much?

I just... wanted some shuteye, even if it wasn't sleep. It was shuteye.

I found a fold somewhere in the pile of blankets and towels that made up, well, the floor of the tent. I grabbed it with one hand, pulled it high, and squirmed toward it, worming my snout into the cave of cloth and fluff. I crawled in, just a little bit deeper, until maybe just a few centimeters of my tail were sticking out. In there, I curled up, hidden away from the cold. My nose was touching up against some other part of my body – I didn't know what. Might've been my belly somewhere. I had a whole lot of belly, and I wasn't even fat.

I breathed into the soft fabric. The breath was noisy and puffy. It felt great against my nose. I couldn't go outside for a few minutes without quickly regretting the decision because my scales couldn't cope with the chilliness, but...

I didn't really wanna waste any time sleeping... Not really.

I did stay there for a few minutes, thought about the day I changed and how naive I was to think I was ever gonna turn back, and then just bit on a blanket because it felt like a thing I had to do. Obligatory, maybe. Somewhere along the line, I pulled my head out of the cavernous cloth. I was met with a set of clothes – red and black, with a touch of yellow cloth print. My letterman's jacket, my backpack, and a brown pouch fashioned out of a denim pocket and a leather overcoat. Two layers to it – kept stuff secure, like my phone and other collectibles that I fancied. It came with a couple straps tight enough to fit my slender form – one across my waist and one along my back, as to hold my 'lightning rod'. Kinda made me look like a weeb, but it was some damn fine craftsmanship for Pokémon. Or, did it come from that sky continent? Couldn't remember. Didn't really give a care, either!

Someone called me. I reacted sluggishly, merely shooting my eyes to the zipped up fold of my tent.

"Alli? Is Alli home? Or do I have the wrong tent...? Uhm." she called for me. That voice was... fluffy. I sniffed. Couldn't get a good scent. I flicked my tongue out quickly. The scents came to me more clearly, like a runny nose'd been solved in a second.

Smelled like a watery perfume, lily pads, lavender...

"You're in the right place," I answered without much expression. I didn't ever mean to sound like a deadbeat, but it was getting harder and harder to help. "Do you need something?"

"Ermm...~ So, Alli, uhm..." the girl hesitated. Why so shy, I thought? Shyness shouldn't have been a quality around here. Just say something. Say anything. Although, waiting around for a shy girl to speak up brought some interest to my tent. I'd almost considered opening it. But, nah, she figured out what she wanted to say, all in that slow, tranquil voice. "May I, uhm, speak with you? Please?"

"Sure. Be right out." I answered again. Still didn't carry a lot of emotion with it. That wasn't to say that I didn't want to come out. It just meant I had to get my hair figured out... eh, no biggie – I could just whip it up into a quick ponytail. I prodded around for a hair tie somewhere in the mess, found one, fixed it around my mid-back-length hair, tied it up a few times, and finally fashioned my yellow star-shaped clip right in the center. Hard to believe this thing was on my tail back when I was a Pokémon. Now it was an accessory. Damn if it didn't make me look nice.

Ugh.

I followed the tent entrance's zipper along its arch shape, pushed the opening flap forward, and darted out of there, throwing myself about four feet off the ground and reaching into the air with both arms. Flying around after a lounge always felt swell, but the chill of the air hit me so fast that I wanted to dive right back inside.

Oh hey, it was that floppy-eared bunny gal, Flicker. I saw her standing by, her white furry hands politely at her waistline, one folded over the other.

"Hi. What's up?" I plainly asked. Always casual with people around the Grove – I couldn't ever understand this girl's idea of formality, but I wasn't complaining. She was a nice person, and looked pretty on top of that. Had a little red dress and heels crafted for her by the same person who made my pouch.

"Hello! How are you?" she asked. I blinked.

"I'm... decent? H-how're you?" I replied.

"I'm well! Thank you for asking!" she giggled. This wasn't the sort of thing I had in mind for a conversation. I hadn't actually spoke to someone other than Cadi in so long that I'd forgotten what manners were. Cadi and I were already close enough to skip all that handshake-proper bullshit, but good on Flicker for remembering social etiquette.

"Well, er, is somethin' the matter? Y'said ya needed to speak with me?" I said, pushing our chat forward.

Her tail, longer than my whole body, raised high, slowly swept from one side to the other. Something about the way her bright red eyes shifted to the same side gave me a peculiar 'spot' of unrest at the tip of my tail. It was sensitive down there. 'Bout as much so as my tongue.

"Have you by chance heard anything about Atti?" she finally asked, eyes flicking back to mine.

I sighed through my nose and looked away from her, eyes set on the giant husk of a tree trunk towering in the center of the Grove, its numerous arms all reaching off in different directions.

"That kid," I said with some disquiet. "He's not been himself. Like most of us."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." she agreed.

"Last I heard," I started, thinking back. "Was that he'd turned into a different Pokémon. Diancie. No explanation for it, but that doctor Young guy thinks he's got it figured out. Uh, that's all I really know. What, did Atti go missing again?"

"Uh-huh, he did. Uhm, she did? See, I dunno... Before Secany left, she called Atti 'Diancie', the 'Royal Pink Princess'."

"Yeah? Huh. Never paid attention to anything those Champion chicks said. 'Guess I should start. So is Atti's disappearance tied to the new title? Uhh, sounds like the wrong thing to call a, what, ten-year-old boy? I wouldn't want people callin' me that..."

Flicker smiled at the comment, shrugging like she had no opinion on the matter. Her arms went to her sides.

"I think it's very possible," she claimed. "And... mm, do you know Charley?"

"The only other skywisp in the Grove..." I nodded. I crossed my arms and bobbed my head to the side. Sobering thought.

"'Guess so~? Okay, great! When she was a human doctor, she was Atti's dad. Charley Setschur."

"I remember that." I said blankly, urging her on. Didn't really know where we were headed, but okay.

"Uhm, yes, she's... looking for Atti. That girl with the bat – uh, Paige? – let a lot of people know what happened. I guess Charley and Young were planning a mission together, but this came up, and now... Now Charley's gotta save her son." she explained.

Why the hell didn't I hear about this? My tent was next to Cadi's, and we weren't THAT far from the center of activity here at the Grove. Ugh, maybe I really was lounging around too much – y'know, gettin' lazy. All I wanted to do nowadays was sleep, beat up training dummies, and chat with Cadi about... magic 'n shit.

Could'a been distracted with that phone call earlier, too.

"I owe it to somebody, at the very least..." Flicker began. Something was different about this, though. Whereas she'd been a smiling bundle of blue cotton candy a sec ago, her voice became sharper, her cheeks smaller as her mouth shrank into a frown. "...to say I was there for Atti."

"'S that right?" I watched the dramatic bunny, skeptical. Hell, her hands even balled up into fists. She didn't do a great job at conveying the anger though, bringing her hands slightly forward and up. Made her look like a little kid.

"M-maybe you could, erm, say I'm quite fond of Atti's brother?" she added, obligatorily blushing. I felt my brow furrow – wasn't even aware I had eyebrows. "He helped me get back on my feet when I was so scared."

"That's... nice," I hesitated. She was talking about a guy who wouldn't know chivalry if it shoved itself up his ass, so pardon me for the disbelief. Actually, were we thinking about the same dude? "You mean, Bryan? That guy helped you or... something?"

"Yes! Bryan..." she cooed dreamily. "He told me that, so long as we were together, he felt so happy. I felt it too. It was so nice! Someone actually cared about me like that..."

She may have forgotten I was here, 'cause I was just kinda staring at her, doing my hardest not to look... disgusted. Hey, to each their own. Bryan might've had a good side, or maybe the Wave changed him. Hah, something positive could've come out of this whole nightmare!

"I haven't heard from Bryan at all. The last time I saw him, it was raining..." I tried to remember. Things got strangely unclear when I tried to remember when it was I saw Bryan last. Whenever I tried to recall our last conversation, I could only think back to a few things Xima taught me about Gamma and the Flux. Maybe it was connected somehow.

"Are you two friends?" she asked, folding her paws together once again. The question was so kiddy, like she didn't even know how to show jealousy.

"Uhh... He..." I rubbed the back of my head. My stomach churned. "We're acquainted?"

"Oh, okay. I wonder who you were before you transformed into that skywisp. You're so cute! Did you go to Metedia High?"

I didn't answer that, but it told me something I didn't know. Flicker knew Metedia High. I'd assumed she came straight out of that research facility over the hills, but I could'a been wrong.

"I'd... rather not say. I'm just Alli." I smiled awkwardly.

"Well, Alli, it's nice to finally talk with you. If you ever need somebody to talk to, my tent is set up right near the creek just on the other side of the Grove." she instructed, standing aside and motioning with one arm to a spot beyond the tree. I looked ahead. There were loads of tents along the creek. I never cared to go over there very much. Too crowded.

"Yeah..." I said, paying little attention to Flicker or wherever she was pointing.

I thought about Bryan in that moment, how his mud eyes always got big whenever he spoke, 'cause he was overexcited to say something stupid. I thought back to how he came to school with a fresh buzz-cut every week. He talked about basketball with Nick, 'cause I guess that was one of the interests they shared. Other than that, he was just loud and annoying, 'n sometimes, when he had bad days, he was even worse, 'cause I guess those days made me appreciate the hyperactive shithead he was.

God, how did he win over someone like Flicker? She was so out of his league that I was almost ashamed of her. Wrong of me to judge though.

"Hey," I said to her. Her mouth got tiny again. I was still looking off in the direction of her tent. "Y'said you owe Bryan."

"Mmh?"

"Let's go find Atti." I told her. Simple. Didn't think it through, but I was proud of how simple it sounded.

"Wha... U-uhm, it's okay – you don't have to, uhm... Charley said she can take care of Atti." Flicker kindly refused. Not directly, of course, but she had her way of avoiding anything that sound like rejection.

"Charley's the only one who does anything around here. I-" I froze so quickly I nearly hiccuped. I sighed, shrugged, and looked at one of my hands, of which the scales went from a bright blue to a hard jet black. "I wanna try to be a bit more like her. I think I can start by helping her find her son. You and me. We'll both get something out of it, and even if we don't succeed, we tried.

But, hey, I don't think I can hide in a tent anymore. I keep falling asleep, and... I gotta not do that. I wanna fly around like I've never done before. If I'm gonna be a skywisp, then dammit, I want to see the sky!

All I've ever REALLY done for the Grove is keep the baddies away. I know what I'm capable of, but I got a lot to learn, 'n I'm just not learning anything anymore."

I took a breath, put one hand on where my waist would be, and gave Flicker a tired glance.

"I know we just met – y'know, 'for real' – and its hasty to be all like, 'oh, come with me on a journey to save our friends!'," I spoke mockingly, making the pitch of my voice lower and more articulate. "But, I can't stick around here too long. I get claustrophobic. Maybe that's how Atti feels. That's why she leaves. We can talk to her, try 'n understand what she's thinking.

Who knows? We might even find Bryan along the way."

Or Cruce...

I almost said that out loud.

"You really feel that way? W-we might find Bryan?" she perked up. Tch, she totally glazed over everything else that I said, didn't she? 'Guess that was why those two clicked. Thick as syrup.

"Anything's possible." I said.

"I... suppose so," she exclaimed. Her tail swooshed back and forth and she lit up with a charming smile. It did seem like she was happy to hear me open up, too. Might've been a faulty assumption. "I'll have to talk with Young on the matter, but if you'd allow me to accompany you, uhm, that sounds marvelous!"

"Cool, cool. Meet up with me at the tree's entrance once you're good to go. If y'can't come, just let me know anyway," I said, putting a hand on the opposing shoulder and rolling it with the arm bent. I did the same for the other shoulder. That one hurt. The first roll sent a few spikes of pain through the shoulder. "Sound good?"

"Of course!" she obliged.

"'Kay, gimme fifteen minutes tops." I notified her.

"Will do, and I'll be as quick as I can. Thank you, Alli! Hehe, this is so thrilling~!" she bowed lightly, just leaning forward at a little angle. I grinned at it like I was royalty or something – I didn't like feeling that way, but Flicker had some personality to her. If I had to give one word to her name, it would've been 'sparkly'. Maybe that was her nickname from now on.

Well, she wasted no time bolting off to the other end of the Grove. I stayed there and watched her trot along, just to get some extra reference for where her tent was. Couple'o big tents down by the creek! With someone all glamorous and pretty like her, she must've had one of the larger ones. After entertaining myself by watching her run in her heels, I returned to my tent.

I spent some time fastening my pouch to my body. Since I was almost literally a snake, I had set it to its tightest availability. This thing was made for skywisps, too, so I might've been long and little when paired up with other wisps. Dunno if that made me attractive or ugly. Also couldn't give a shit! The brown leather was already a contrast to most of my colors. With the pouch seated by my side and a set of convenient clips and straps at my back, I gathered together my two top necessities: phone and iron beating stick. I tossed the phone up, caught it with the other hand, and then holstered it into the pouch like a revolver, 'cause I was so awesome. The lightning rod took more care, however. I had to blindly reach back and secure it so that it didn't come loose from any movement I made. The straps were designed in such a manner than allowed me to pull the bar out from its top without it getting caught on its own 'sheath', while also braced enough to sit there while I flew.

Since I wanted to get all this out of the way, I was scrambly. Getting ready didn't mean dolling up for a date or sitting in front of a mirror doing my hair. I only let Cadi do my hair anyway, and if anyone else touched it then they were already dead on their ass. For me, getting ready meant something more like my football days. Pad up, warm-up, legwork, hut hut, sit side by side with ACDC's Thunderstruck screeching over a coach yelling into your face with spit flying at'cha. Rugby had all that, too, sans a lot of the pads. I took a minute to recall the hot days in the locker rooms, sweat-drenched shirts flooding the dirt-in-cracks tiled floor, the metallic scent of the rusty, cracked lockers reminding us that those pieces of shit never opened or closed right – made us mad enough to slam 'em and tug 'em so that they actually did their jobs, then went on to remind US to do OUR jobs out there.

Then I looked at the floor of my tent, and, well... I tried to imagine it was the floor of a locker room. My letterman's jacket was there, but it filled a lot more space than it should've. Couldn't even fit me anymore. I looked at it and remembered, Emelina cheered me as I ran. Girl shouted my name and screamed for joy when I did my thing. Told everything she saw to Patty 'n made sure no one else forgot about it. Fucking loved that girl.

And all that bullshit Dad always said to me about what I was doing wrong 'n how I could never join any police force if I kept up some attitude that I had around him. We walked Eta together in the woods one day with his sloppy-suited detective friend and joked that our dog had more police experience than I ever would. Haha. I laughed. Then I fought back the urge to punch Dad in the side, 'cause he would've moved off to the side, grabbed my arm, held me in place, and lectured me – 'too bad, boy. Too bad.'

Couldn't forget that bumble-mouth muscle-head Cruce and all of our benching sessions. Had a good time with him. Liked to just lay there with the weight lined up with my eyes, arms lazily hanging off the side of the bench. 'You ougtha try 'n lift that', I told myself. One day, he said those words to me after we lay there silent for so long. So I did. 'Good on ya, Sanders', he told me, like he was one of my teammates. I couldn't even be mad at the guy for that. He tried so hard to be cool. Really, he tried. No matter what he did to make himself look like a hardass, he had that squishy cousin pulling him in for candy-scented hugs every minute.

That's all Al, but Al's not here anymore.

He's not okay, and no one is.

"Why'd I say that to him?" I asked myself. "What'd I do that for? It could've been so easy. We could've met up here... and... I'unno.

Maybe I'd be going with him to find Atti and Bryan instead. Maybe I wouldn't have to make new friends. Maybe I'd still be Al.

I don't know," I paused, collecting myself, pinching the zipper of the tent's entrance and waiting for a moment. The front was already open. "I don't know."

I shook my head, stirring the thoughts away into a less intense flavor in my head, then pulled myself out of the ten, zipped up, and dropped by a few yards next door to Cadi's big white tent, all shiny and clean somehow. I didn't see any shapes through the near-translucent fabric. She might not've been around. That was fine. She had Nick's phone, so I could always text her, provided I remembered to charge it up for her. Eh, if not, Doc Young could do the same as me. A lot of us could.

Weird, though. I floated outside her tent contemplating where she might've been. A walk, maybe? Not the best idea given all the outcasts and crazies looting whatever they could around town, but Cadi was strong enough to defend herself. She had one of those Symbi things. Moreover, I think she WAS one of those Symbi things. Never was quite clear on that, but so long as she could bring out a magical laser-beam staff, I gathered not a whole lot of Pokémon or wisps or whatnot wanted to mess with her, myself included.

I checked right back behind me, spinning around just to make sure I wasn't being a blind idiot who didn't see the painfully obvious half-human, half-Pokémon lady walking around. But, then, we did get another one of those – uh, sirens. That butterfly chick. Former John. Poor Joel. He didn't like her – didn't much care that his best friend got replaced by someone who acted like Ericka. On the other hand, Ericka freaking loved her, so there was that. Everyone had their problems.

What am I even doing? I'm just floating here...

Well, Flicker wasn't by the tree. Maybe she was having trouble convincing Young that she could take care of herself. I never questioned the relationship they had. They showed up to the Grove with it, and I only learned about it through Cadi. 'Parently Young was awesome! I wasn't aware.

"Psst..."

I thought to go and hang out by the entryway to the tree. Some Pokémon were around there, and I never felt too comfortable around any of the Pokémon here, 'cept maybe Atti and VC, but they were just kids. I stretched my arms out again, both crossed behind my head. I reached down as far as my hands went and pressed my ponytail to my back.

"Pssst!"

Maybe I should've just sucked it up and went over there. If anyone gave me a look, I could give it right back. No one ever said shit to me, but they liked to talk behind my back 'cause I wasn't a Pokémon. I had to sleep with that in mind. It wasn't the best for bedtime company, but at least Cadi was right here... u-usually.

"PSSST!"

Was somebody making a noise at me? I turned around and looked at the white fabric, but there wasn't anything to it save a bumpy foundation and evidence of Cadi's fur having gotten caught in the zipper. Lucky for me, the worst I had to worry about was hair. Could'a done without that though. Yeesh...

"PBBLTTHT!"

Okay, that was just a mouth fart.

"Yo, I hear you," I said, tempted to laugh. "You don't HAVE to be hidden. The people here aren't gonna shoot you."

To my surprise, the next person I saw come into view came from around an abandoned pile of debris that I liked going through and making trinkets out of – 'guess it wasn't so abandoned. I was told it was dirty, but hey, I had no room for it! Well, anyway, it seemed a decent enough hiding spot. She was a Pokémon. Walked on four legs, had a pretty small tail when put up against Flicker's beast, and smelled strongly of burnt nectar – Gamma. Gamma had that smell, and wherever that smell went, someone bright and shiny came with it. Here she was, cloaked in a reddish pink robe with a hood, two holes left open for her tall ears. She had to've had the cloak made for her, 'cause it didn't look designed for a human. She crept forward, prowling like a cat on the hunt, her ears down.

I knew who that was. Those blushy cheeks? Those ocean blue eyes? Her ribbons were hidden away in the cloak, but the bow under her chin was poking out.

"Holy shit, it's Rayse." I said, devoid of expression.

"Nnn! Sssshhhh!" she panicked, raising a paw to her lips as if to shush me.

"Y-... you don't... need to be-"

She waved the paw in front of her lips back and forth, then forwards and backwards, as if to lead me to her. I stared until she started backing up herself, then I followed. Honestly had no idea what I was getting into. We got behind the pile of junk. I came down to her level so that I wasn't hovering above the pile for everyone to see.

"Why're we being hidey?" I asked her. She was standing completely still, but frozen in a manner than made her appear like she was still creeping.

"Okay, soooo," she stood up, her ears going high. "I heard you wanna go do things outside the Grove."

"You heard I—what? So you were eavesdropping?"

"N'aw, I was just listening to your conversation with Flicker."

I looked at her with my mouth hanging open.

"Th-... Yes! Eavesdropping!"

"But look! You wanna go out there now?!" she asked. Jeez, her voice was... like skittish, almost. It fit how she looked before she put on that cloak.

"Uh, yeah? Why?"

"If you go, the Grove won't be very protected. Pokémon may start to panic."

"I'm just a skywisp. I don't serve any... function to protect the Grove. I CAN do that, but I've never done it before." I disclaimed.

"Yeeesszzz you have! Don't be crayfish! Did ya know you're so good that even Secany trusts you to protect everybody? That's not an easy win. No siree ma'am~."

"Is that why she left us?" I asked, without intending to sound bitter about it.

"She...!" Rayse stopped, mouth open like mine, showing her dull fangs. "Bleh. Maybe... I don't really know, Alli. I'm so worried about her, but she told me to stay here and NOT do the worry thing, so that the residents don't worry either. Imagine what would happen if everyone found out that both Secany AND Rayse just left them?"

"So did you... end up staying?"

"Negatory~," she sang proudly. "Instead, like a baaad girl, I went around Autumnridge searching for clues about the... uh..."

"The what? What's'a matter?" I asked. She came close to me, leaned in to my left cheek, and whispered.

"Crossblade."

"Ah..." I nodded, as she moved back. "I don't think the secrecy is necessary. And, why the Crossblade?"

"You didn't know?" she started. A lot like Flicker's burst of seriousness, I could tell Rayse was swinging into the same sort of mood. "I'm a victim, Alli. I have it, too. I've been told that you're the same way."

"Who told you that?"

"An eevee named Kat. Secany's... 'other'."

Kat... right. I hadn't totally forgotten about her, but she liked dark places, so... I never knew where to look for her in the Grove. Maybe in the big tree.

"While I was out looking for my brother Vay," she began again. "I came across signs of Crossblade wielders. I don't know if you can sense it since you're not a Champion, but there's... kinda like different smells of Gamma, and we can tell them all apart. The Crossblade's Gamma smells almost like Flux. It's so metal-y and yucky. It's also the only smell that makes my no-no get all ow-ow..."

"Your... 'no-no'?"

"My nosie~," she clarified, hanging her head low and poking her nose with her paw, all while looking at me. "Which I've been training ever since we got back to the Grove~. Now, I don't know a lot of people who can use the Crossblade, so these scents I'm that finding have to be our 'others'. I know that I have an 'other' out there. Two of 'em. Two 'Rayses' that I've never ever seen."

"Two 'others'..." I said to myself. There was a time that happened to me. It was with Xima. "Xima."

"Xima?" Rayse peeped.

"Xima knows a lot about the Crossblade, but ever since that disaster at the hospital, I haven't seen her around," I remembered. "And she doesn't strike me as the type of person you can just search for, like your brother or Atti."

"Mmmph...~" Rayse whined. It was a cute sound that ended in a loud huff through her nose. "I'm a busy sylveon today, 'specially since today never ends. Okay, how's about we team up, yeah? You and me?"

"You wanna come with Flicker and I?" I queried.

"Can't~! Would love to come with you and that fwoofy Fwicker, but can't, 'cause I got a Fluxy eevee that needs saving. While I'm at it, I'll put my nose high and low and sniff out any more signs of the Crossblade. I know I said you shouldn't go out now, but maybes... juuuust maybes it's a good plan. Atti's becoming a Champion, too. Secany would want her safe, and so do I. I sure wish I could be in a bunch'a spots at once. Maybe finding the other 'Rayses' would help me! Ooh! I totes-McGoats gotta do that~!

"Heh, a'ight," I grinned. "How can we keep in touch?"

"Well, er, I tried learning how to use one of those phone thingies. It's... a process-in-progress! Just meet me here again whenever you get done doing your business. If I'm not here, just make believe that I am until I'm actually there."

"That might not help your cover, Rayse," I told her, hands on my hips. "But I'll try. And what goal are we working towards?"

"If... mm..." she breathed, her tone so relaxed I expected her to sit on her haunches. "I want to be rid of this horrible thing. I never want to have to go through that kind of misery again. How do you feel?"

"How do I feel? Um, when I summoned the Crossblade for the first time, I didn't feel a lot of pain. It still hurt, but Xima said I was a special case. Er, I think."

"Uh-huh? For me, it was the most painful thing I could remember. I don't remember everything about myself though," she told me, walking by in the direction of the treeline away from the Grove. I watched her as she went. She stopped, turned back, and smiled to me. "I wanna remember all that I can, so I can feel like a real person again...! But..."

Rayse frowned, the negative curvature of her lips and cheeks such an unwelcome sight to the contours of her short-muzzled face. She had a face that wanted to smile naturally.

"I just can't. There's too much to worry about."

"We'll tackle it little by little," I said, lightly pumping at the air with a fist. Something for encouragement, I thought. "I'll let Arcadia know about whatever we find out."

"Hrmm, okay! Just make sure it stays between us three. FOREVER~! 'Kay thanks bye!" she skipped away, wriggling a pair of ribbons out to form a heart shape between them. She was aiming at me with it the whole way back, and then she kind of disappeared behind some trees.

"Whatever you say, Rayse..." I grinned, seeing her off. Something about the way she talked reminded me a lot of – well, if y'put Emelina and Topher together, that may have made someone like Rayse. One of the weirdest girls I've met, but she wasn't from this world. Glad we could see eye-to-eye!

I had a partner to come back to and a partner to leave with. I didn't feel confident in either of them as reliable allies, but they were friendly enough to keep my spirits up and that was all that should've mattered. Speaking of whom, I noticed a particular blue bunny lady staring back at me when I looked over to the tree. Must've looked like I was talking to myself. Looking to save face, I gave her a short wave and lay my belly over the ground, dashing onward to group up with my companion. Flicker was good to go, and I was, too, more or less.

Alright, here we go...

Primary objective: locate and rescue Atti and Bryan. Seems like Flicker picked up some info from Paige, so I'll have to rely on her for any locational details.

Secondary objective: Find out anything I can about the Crossblade and Xima. Report what I find back to Rayse and Cadi.

Tertiary objective: Get ahold of Cadi. Don't know where she's at, but she better come back without scrapes and bruises on her. She's too pretty for that.

Chevron

I looked in the mirror.

I was on the counter top. I was tiny, even standing at my tallest. I had to stand on four legs now because my joints and bones didn't agree too well to the notion of standing high. I had a little more control over what I could do up in the air. Everywhere I looked, I felt minuscule. The mirror felt like a mural, the toilet like an emperor's throne, the ceiling lights yards and yards away. Just looking down from the counter appeared as a death drop, but I had such a small center of gravity that I could fall from a three story building and be fine. Obviously.

I didn't smile or frown or laugh or whinge because of what I saw. The person – the shaymin in its sky forme that I saw in the mirror didn't bug me at all, because that person wasn't me. What bugged me the most was not knowing WHY that shaymin in the mirror wasn't me. The green-eyed reindeer-canine thing with the big ears and the green, spiky hair – who was that?

These lights were buzzing so loudly that I couldn't think. I had to get out of here. I had to go back to the Quiet Room. I couldn't hide in here forever. They were already suspicious about how I acted around Jirachi and Willow. I was... so soft. I didn't even punish them. I didn't punish Laura either. I think that was why she hid away from me. She loved it when I scolded her, hit her, made her cry...

I looked at the stubby paws that kept me standing, put one of them up to the mirror. I pressed into it and the shaymin on the other side pressed back. He did everything that I did and I couldn't understand why it felt wrong. I dared not say anything aloud for fear of records. I wasn't stupid enough to believe that there wasn't some form of audio surveillance in the vents around here.

I blinked a few times.

I let 'em off so easy...

I shook my head, stared into the sink, and sighed.

Jirachi... Vay...

Those names shouldn't mean jack-all to me, but I...

I got so much blood on my hands. I've killed so many people.

I'm not this... I'm not a shaymin, but the longer I mess around with these Champion-folk – no, with Gamma, the more I want to forget that I was ever a human, because...

I closed my eyes, pressed both rows of teeth together, and threw my head as low as it could go.

My human life ended long before the Wave began.

I've been trying too hard to get myself one of those... Symbis. I've never been able to do it, and I think I'm starting to understand why.

I belong to Element Gamma Laza. I must be... a Champion...

Otherwise, I must have the Crossblade. That... pain-scented thing.

...Or both...

I took a deep, soothing breath. All this, and I still felt wrong. I felt like I knew nothing – like I didn't have the answer to my confusion nor was I ever to have any kind of answer.

I'm a stranger to my own body. I'm thinking things, saying things, doing things, while Chevron is watching me, screaming at me to do something else. Something other. Is this what it feels like to change? REALLY change?

And if I have the Crossblade, is there a Chevron out there like that? An-... Another Felix?

"I'm..." a prisoner, I thought. I was trapped here.

Five loud, squishy pounds on the metallic, black-trim door made me jump into the air and take flight. I slowly drifted down while I listened to the owner of said knocks.

"Chevvy? What's'a matter? Did you eat something weird? I'm supposed to be the one who does that," Winston exclaimed. That freak surgeon scared me so much that I swallowed my heart back into place. I let out a squeaky, pathetic cough. "Or are you 'thinking' again?"

"What?" I cleared my throat in an attempt to sound gruff. "Too busy not giving a shit."

"Liar!"

"Man, just give me time, alright? I gotta get this body figured out before I do anything serious. Kaiser's not in the mood to hear about us goofin' off."

Go away... Go away!

"Why d'you think I'm here telling you to hurry your tiny tail up? Doc Kaiser wants to see you."

"'Bout what?!"

"Those two people you melted? I dunno! Something about Agent Eagle!"

"I already stuck that in somebody. Just... give me another minute and I'll be out. Okay? Go... go play with Laura or something."

"Hmmmm..." he stopped. He didn't say anything after that. I listened for his heavy, wet footsteps. They didn't pick up until half a minute after we'd stopped talking, which meant he was listening in. Creepy fella.

Winston...

Ever since Sam bailed out of Delta Meadow, I'd expected Wes to tag along. Now it looked like I was going to be the one leaving this lost cause before him.

Shame I couldn't find out more, but the longer I research Gamma, the more I want to remember doing just that... for a different cause. Not Delta Meadow, but... for Pokémon.

Dammit... I know this is for the better. I know I should change, but it feels like something a defeatist would do.

No. I'm wrong. A defeatist has a choice.

I don't have a choice. I have Gamma. Because of that, I... I'm...

I'm Shaymin.