CHAPTER Fifty Two

The room and bed were familiar, comforting even but the man with her, with the helmet, she didn't know him.

She didn't want him there.

Fear permeated through her body, as sweat drenched her.

He started to remove the helmet.

No! Please no!

She felt the blade in her hand. She knew what she had to do and why.

For Rex.

The vibroblade buzzed and the man's head rose at the sound.

No, that was wrong.

It didn't happen like that.

It wasn't him.

She saw Wolffe's eyes open wide in shock.

"No." She shouted, in denial.

Suddenly she was awake, sitting up, skin slick with sweat and heart pounding; it was a few seconds before she remembered exactly where she was and who was with her. She checked on Rex, he was still sleeping. Rising from the bed, she padded over to the fresher. It was chilly in the small room and she shivered in response, goosebumps creeping up her arms. Leaning against the bowl she looked at herself in the mirror; Her hair was messed up, curls going in all directions. She pulled them down, tidying them by habit and splashed water on her face, finally looking in the mirror again, she stood and stared.

How long she stared into the mirror, she didn't know but she did know that she didn't really like the person in the reflection there. She had hurt someone who didn't deserve it, was keeping a secret from the man she loved and regretted both constantly.

She felt the light touch of his hands, as they rested on the swell of her hips, pulling her back towards him, "Are you ok, Cyar'ika?" He propped his chin on her shoulder, "You were missing. A bad dream?"

She took a deep breath and roused herself, "No. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Come on then, back to bed; you'll get cold standing here." He tugged at her and gently guided her back to the bed. She wrapped herself around him.

Lying there, holding her, he felt there was something desperate in her needing to be held like that. He listened till her breathing became steady, ensuring she was asleep; keeping watch over her, protectively. It was the least he could do; this had been her third disturbed night in a row. He needed to speak to Wolffe; he and Gregor had returned a couple of days earlier and he also wanted to get an update on Joopa Station. It's capabilities, when it'd be fully functional; being mobile it would be useful addition on gathering intel. He also needed to see Wolffe about what had happened to Ana; she had definitely had some bad dreams, he had heard her, felt her move. He knew the telltale signs of nightmares when he heard them; his brothers had had them often enough, as had he over the years. He still did and she was there for him.

He would be there for her.

He finally let himself sleep, arms wrapped around her.

.

"You took her on a relief mission?" Rex was fuming, "And she saw murdered children. What the haran kind of relief mission was it?"

"It upset her, Rex, it upset everyone."

"I am not talking about just anyone, its Ana."

Wolffe took a step back, he felt guilty enough himself, he should have been better prepared. "The most recent intel we had, did not indicate anything other than a need for a mission to deliver supplies and medical aid. Just another routine humanitarian mission to relieve a starving town and treat the population for any health problems. Ana was an ideal match for it." he was justifying his actions as much to himself as to Rex.

"Not when there were Fekking dead babies and children there."

"We didn't know until we arrived and saw the state of the town."

"Upset, of course she was Fekking upset. Did she tell you why?"

"No. I thought…"

"She's had kids, Wolffe, babies…..who died."

Wolfe was silent for a few seconds, processing that information, before he replied, "I didn't know, she never said." His jaw muscles flexed, "She was with the bodies for a while, as we had to immobilise the booby trap."

"What the…." Rex took a deep breath. "She was in a kriffing booby trapped building?"

Wolffe nodded, "We got her out ok. We had Sallon with us, he got her out."

"Sallon, he's Fekking dini'la."

"He's a good Demolitions expert."

Rex stood there breathing hard; he wanted to knock Wolffe over but Ana would not appreciate that; she had explained to Rex how helpful Wolffe and Gregor had been to her, when he had been absent. She was grateful to them; it was the least he expected of his brothers.

"She's not going again." He asserted, this was what he had been afraid of.

"You going to tell her?" Wolffe enquired.

"Yes."

Wolffe's eyebrow quirked. "Okay." He wasn't confident about Rex's chances on that.

.

Rex had bided his time before telling her but it still didn't go well; he was now staring at an empty space of crumpled sheets in the bunk, where she should have been lying with him. They had acquired the habit of talking for long periods in bed, at night, behind closed doors. He let off steam, she complained. It had become their way of coping.

Now she was gone.

He replayed the conversation in his head.

"It's not safe on those missions."

"It's not safe anywhere."

"I don't want you hurt."

"I don't want you, hurt. Yet you go out every time they ask you to and volunteer for more, when you are not supposed to."

He winced.

"and every time you go you risk your life. I may not be able to fight like you but I can help and I need to be able to do that."

"I was bred to fight."

"Perhaps I was meant to be here as well. You chose this fight. I chose to help this fight. I cannot imagine ever not having enough to eat or not being able to get medical treatment, when I need it or my family needs it. No one should have to face that Rex."

"You're still not going."

It was at that point that he knew he had lost the argument because he had ordered her not to go. He had treated her just like a member of one of his squads.

But She wasn't that; she was more.

And she was gone.

.

Ana stormed down the corridor, shawl flying like wings behind her, she wished she had put something thicker on, it was chilly but at least she had remembered her boots. She wasn't sure where she was going but eventually ended up at the bar and Fel was re-stocking.

"Brandy?" He asked as he pulled a bottle from behind the makeshift bar. She nodded, it was the real thing. He poured a small measure for her which she immediately drank in one.

"Another?" He asked before pouring; she nodded again but this one she sipped.

"A lady should never drink alone." Advice offered by a soft voice appearing next to her. She turned to see a young man with a goatee and visor covering his eyes; she knew immediately who it was, Rex had spoken of him as a friend but this was Kanan, a Jedi. She suddenly worried what he thought of her.

"I can't actually read minds. But it doesn't take that to see that you're upset. Can I help?"

"No." she shook her head.

"Sure? Sometimes it helps to talk."

He nodded at Fel, who produced another small glass of Brandy, which he sipped.

"Yours was pretty near this, apart from the after burn."

"That wasn't my fault, that was Fel's still."

Fel muttered something indiscernible from behind the bar.

He chuckled.

"Rex?"

"Yes."

"I can sense that he cares deeply for you, that he wants to protect you."

"I understand that but…"

"But?"

"He wants to wrap me in cotton wool and thats not me. I can't fight but I can do something; but Rex doesn't even want me to do that. What I've been doing ….here...It's the first time in years that I felt any kind of ...self worth. Self respect. If I stopped or left I would lose that."

"Do you want to lose Rex?"

"No. Do you think he would…..?"

"He is used to getting his own way."

They sat in silence finishing their drinks; Ana preoccupied with her thoughts.

"I think you need to talk to him again, to sort this out." He tried a force nudge, he shouldn't really but Rex was his friend and he wanted to help.

"I do, I need to talk to him…"

She stopped and looked at the Jedi and shook her head, "did you just try and put that suggestion in my head?"

It had backfired on him, "Sorry; I'm out of practice."

"Hmm...part of me agreed with what you said and the other part thought that I was dreaming all this."

"Is that how it feels?"

"That's how it felt to me." She paused, a frown brought her eyebrows down together, "Were you ever in school, looking out of the window and daydreaming until the tutor asked you a question?"

He nodded.

"Well, it felt like that, weird. But you're right I do need to talk to him, my temper got the better of me again." She slid off the the tall stool.

"Good luck. He's a good man."

Looking at her he couldn't imagine her having a temper but he had felt it bubbling under the surface.

Rex may have his hands full at times.

He nodded back at Fel for a refill.

.

When she arrived back at their quarters Rex was in the fresher; she sat on the bunk waiting for him, going through what she would say. He finally came out towelling his head and beard dry; he stopped when he saw her.

"You okay now?"

She nodded.

"We okay now?"

She nodded, "I spoke with Kanan." and studied Rex, the only reaction was a raised eyebrow. "I've never met a Jedi before. He said I should talk to you."

"We should talk."

"What do you want to know?"

"You could explain to me what happened. On that planet, the massacre."

The green eyes bored into his soul, she may not have the force but sometimes it felt like it. she sighed before she let go and what happened came out.

"It was my first relief mission. It was supposed to be straightforward. Deliver supplies, provide medical treatment, only basic stuff, but when we got there, you could tell something bad had happened …just by the smell…."

By the time she'd finished, his arms were wrapped around her, to help control the shaking. He hated seeing her like this, someone would pay, and wasn't Wolffe.

.

The hangar deck was empty for once, save for a few mechanics, Rex, Ana and a tall dishevelled looking man, standing some distance apart from them.

"I need to go." Rex had received his instructions from Draven, and it concerned his old friend again.

"Is that him, the one you brought from …..wherever?"

Rex turned and looked at the tall figure, in the long shabby coat.

"Yes, that's him." Rex sighed. "He was an idealistic hot head, running with the Onderon Resistance, during the Clone Wars; that was when I first met him. I helped train him and his sister, with the help of Ahsoka, and Generals Skywalker and Kenobi." Rex had this far away look in his eyes and Ana now knew he was remembering his old friends; she wouldn't disturb him. He shook himself out of it after a few seconds, he always did, he knew it didn't pay to dwell on it.

"His sister was killed in that conflict and he was never the same after that. He always said that the better one of the two was lost that day. He's tried to make up for it since but….some times he goes a little too far. He no longer appears to have boundaries."

"Another casualty of war."

He nodded, "Command aren't too fond of him at the moment." Rex smiled, his half smile; "I have to go now."

"I know." She pulled him down to her, "If he's that bad you'll have to rein him in a bit."

"Easier said than done; I trained him and he's learned more since then."

"Just be careful then."

Rex did the pulling now as he kissed her deeply; this leaving, became harder and harder each time. They touched foreheads one last time.

Saw Gerrera watched the couple kiss goodbye and waited for his old friend Rex to cross the Hangar; he'd seen him once or twice in the aftermath of the Clone Wars but never for long and now he'd finally joined the Rebellion. The part least likely to succeed according to Saw.

"So you're finally in this for the long haul?."

"Yep, Saw, old friend. The Empire are getting a little bit too close for comfort so I decided on some pre emptive strikes."

Garrera laughed in that husky, slightly maniacal way that he now had and clapped Rex on the back.

"You're with the wrong people though. You should be with me and my little gang; now we'd really make a difference. You've already met some of them. The latest recruit may even surprise you."

"Like I said before, I'm ok where I am, thanks old friend." Rex glanced backwards.

"You wouldn't be able to do that, though; it's not a good idea." He said as he nodded towards Ana as she headed for the Medbay.

"Pardon?" Asked Rex looking a little surprised that he would actually comment on, what was his personal life and none of his business.

"Partaking of the wares on offer."

Rex took a deep breath before saying, "That's Ana and she is not just a passing fancy."

"Whoa, Whoa Rex, no offence meant, although I hadn't had you tagged as the settling down type."

"Neither had I, Saw, but she blindsided me, saved my life and helped me in other ways. I appreciate my life more now, Saw; now that I have someone to live and fight for."

"They may be mutually exclusive, Rex."

"She knows I am a soldier and I will always be fighting, and she's accepted that."

"Has she?"

"Yes, she has, Saw, she does."

"Whatever makes you happy Rex but don't let her kill you."

They walked on ahead for a couple of minutes until they reached Saw's ship that was berthed at the end of the line.

"Come see what I have, Rex and let me know what you think."

They walked along to the briefing room in silence.

.

"It's a bit of a reach from the Intel you have." Rex studied the notes on the hologram. "All this builds into some super weapon, out there, currently being constructed by the Empire." he sounded sceptical.

"It's there I can tell, it may be in pieces at the moment, part here, part there; but they have to put it together somewhere and I intend to find out. And it's big. Rumour has it, that it's a planet killer."

"Pah!" Rex was still not convinced.

"This is why I want to look at Geonosis."

"You know the rules Saw; you can head up one of our teams but it has to be comprised of our men."

"And like I said before, if it gets the job done. I'll do it, I'm with you Rex."

Saw smiled.