"Have any of you seen Midoriya?" Jiro asked, looking around, before turning to Iida, "I haven't seen him since classes ended."

"He's probably in his room." Uraraka sighed, "He's been down for the past week.. He hasn't even eaten for the past few days... I was thinking of asking if he wants to attend the movie night... but knowing him, he'd probably say no."

"I'll go ask! Mina, set up the movie!" Hagakure grinned and ran up the stairs. She knocked on Midoriya's door, and waited for a response, but got none. She pushed open the door anyways, finding Midoriya staring at the worksheet Aizawa had given out.

"Hey, Midoriya, we're going to watch movies all the way until midnight, cause there's no school tomorrow!" Hagakure spoke up, "Want to join us? Kirishima and Bakuogu are making popcorn; there's cheese, salty, and caramel! And -"

Midoriya looked up at Hagakure, before he shook his head, going back to his worksheet. She glanced at Reiko, who was sitting on Midoriya's desk, looking at her almost apologetically, and then at Ryuto, who was perched on Midoriya's shoulder and nuzzling him, before she turned her attention back to Midoriya.

"Come on, please?" The invisible girl whined, almost begging, "Just try it once, you'll enjoy it, I promise!"

Midoriya resolutely shook his head again, before he shifted his posture slightly away from Hagakure, a clear indication that he didn't want to talk, and he wasn't going to at all.

Hagakure turned away from his door dejectedly, "Alright then, Midoriya. Good night. But if you change you mind and decide to join us halfway through, we'll welcome you anytime."

She closed the door gently, missing how Midoriya turned around, looking at her in confusion.


"You know, Deku? Falling off the roof of a building? What a farce. I know the truth."

"Did you really think that taking a swan dive off the roof would make you get a quirk?"

"Never! Forget it! Izuku's my son and I'll protect him with my life! I don't care what you say! He's not useless and he'll never be! He's just a child! Leave him alone!"

"It's too late … I'm sorry… please… get out of here, hurry…Remember… it's not your fault… you're not worthless… and you'll never be. Go be… the hero… that we all believed that you could be…"

"Do you think the heroes care about you? Do you think they really want to do it? Do they really want to save a useless, quirkless child?"

Midoriya jolted up, startling Reiko and Ryuto who were nuzzled up against him. It was the same thing, the same nightmare, the same memories, playing over and over incessantly, melding together in endless cacophony of discordant images and sounds, the violent, grating waveforms constantly repeating in his head. The noise… it wouldn't stop. He remembered all the squeaking, the screeching, the screaming, the concrete and metal falling around him, and the hushed voices of people talking, but he couldn't understand a word they were saying.

He remembered the fire, all the pain, all the blood. He remembered his skull cracking, his spine splintering, being thrown and smashed into the ground again and again. He remembered the sharp metallic edge of Toga's knife tearing through his skin and into his gut, his skin peeling off, disintegrating bit by bit, decaying into nothing.

He remembered everything.

What is the meaning, the purpose, to all of this?

The room began to crinkle, crumpling around him, closing in on him, the air around him dissipating before it reaches even reaches his lungs. He blinked, trying to calm his racing heart, breathing heavily as he slowly curled up into a ball, trembling.

There must be a way out. There has to be a way out, there is always a way out. Midoriya looked around, scanning his room, trying to find a way to escape. He harshly bit his lip, and clenched his fists tightly, his fingernails digging into his palm, the pain giving him a short respite from the voice that echoed within his mind. He staggered to his feet, swiping his UA identity card off the table, and grabbed the handle of his door.

Reiko purred worriedly, curling up around Ryuto, but Midoriya turned around, his dull emerald eyes glinting in the moonlight, like the shards of the broken glass that littered the ground when the green haired boy picked up Rikaru's cold, dying body.

"Stay. Take care of Ryuto. Don't come after me."


Midoriya swiped his student ID card, gaining access to one of the gyms quite a fair distance away from the student dorms. It was already past curfew, and he was supposed to be in Heights Alliance, but at this point, he was past caring.

You make me sick. What on earth are you trying to prove? That you're useful? That you're still worth something?

Midoriya didn't even bother responding.

Remember, they died because of you, you worthless child.

The gym was cleared of any equipment, but he knew that the punching bags were kept in the storage closet. It was locked, but that didn't do much to hinder Midoriya; the green haired boy just pulled out two paper clips out of his pocket, and started fiddling with the lock on the door.

You're quirkless and useless. How on earth you even managed to get into UA's General Education course, I don't even know.

It didn't take too much effort for him to unlock the door, and Midoriya pushed it open. He immediately dragged the punching bag out to the center of the gym, before he stared at it.

There was fire. The familiar screams of pain. The horrible scent of burning human flesh and gasoline.

There was silence. No sounds at all, just the pounding of his heart against his ribcage.

You'll never amount to anything, you weak, worthless, pathetic Deku.

And Midoriya growled under his breath, and lashed out, his fist meeting the leather surface of the punching bag.

The punching bag barely moved.


"I think trying to force Midoriya to participate in the Provisional Licence Exam now... it's not a good idea." Aizawa stated, as he tried to type on his laptop, "He hasn't been himself, I think it's too early for him."

"I'm not saying we should force Izuku to participate. It's up to him whether he wants to participate or not." Nezu replied, "And you already know what the Hero Commission plans to do..."

"Are you going to tell him?" Aizawa quietly asked, and there was silence on the other end, until Nezu spoke up again.

"No. It would just put unnecessary stress on him at this point in time."

"But in the state he's in right now... I don't think he'll be able to perform well in the exams. I'm just worried... he just seems lost and dazed and he's not acting like himself. He'll -"

"Hey! Eraserhead! Your student is at Gym Zeta! Go scold them!"

Aizawa frowned, muttering, "Seriously? At this time? What in the world... who is it?"

"That's weird. I thought everyone would be asleep by now." Nezu muttered over the phone, "Hold on... let me check the facility's security doors? Wait... it's Izuku's card?"

"What is he doing there? At this time?" Aizawa muttered, "How did he even get out and all the way across the campus? How did he even know about Gym Zeta? We have never been there before. I'll go get him back, you just stay in your office."

"No, Aizawa. You already told me that he seems uncomfortable around the teachers... I don't think you going after him will help him." Nezu replied grimly, "I'll go after him, don't worry too much."

"He is breaking the rules. Are you going to punish him?" Aizawa asked, and he heard Nezu sigh from the other side of the phone call.

"Depending on the reason. But I think it's more serious than we think. Remember, Izuku isn't the type to do something like this without a good reason. Something must be bothering him for him to blatantly break the rules like this."

"Alright then. You know him the best. I trust your judgement." Aizawa nodded, "Make sure he's okay, alright?"


The lights of the gym were on, and Nezu's ears perked up when he heard the metallic clink of metal on metal, the familiar sound of the punching bag squeaking as it swung from its metal chain. He quickened his footsteps, careful not to make any sounds at all, and peeked into the gym.

He saw Midoriya let out a desperate, gut wrenching shriek, before practically throwing himself against the punching bag, losing his balance once again, before the punching bag swung back, smacking him in the face and sending him sprawling.

Midoriya winced, and tried to push himself up, before his arms gave way and Midoriya crashed into the ground.

Nezu rushed inside, taking note of the blood staining Midoriya's knuckles, and the punching bag, and worriedly knelt down in front of the downed boy.

"Izuku... what's wrong?" Nezu asked, as Midoriya shakily tried to get up again, managing to push himself to his knees, his face in shadows cast by his fluffy green hair.

Midoriya was shaking.

"Izuku?" Nezu reached out hesitantly, not really sure what to do to help Midoriya calm down, "Izuku, are you okay?"

"...Why am I so weak?"

Midoriya's voice was so quiet, Nezu nearly missed what he had said.

Nezu blinked, trying to process the words that just came out of Midoriya's mouth.

"Everyone else is getting stronger and stronger, but I'm still stuck here. Why am I so weak, so helpless, so pathetic? Why am I being bothered by things that happened years ago?" Midoriya stammered, his voice wavering, "Why was I the one that ended All Might? If I had been stronger... the heroes wouldn't have to come and save me...then that wouldn't have happened... then my classmates wouldn't have to come and try to save me... they wouldn't have to risk their lives for someone as useless as me..."

Nezu leaned forward, cradelling Midoriya's bruised and bloody knuckles gently, as the green haired boy shook.

"Eraserhead got hurt... almost died...because I wasn't good enough to figure out where and when the League's second attempt on UA would be... The students almost got hurt... then there was the school camp... if I hadn't been kidnapped by villains, the heroes wouldn't have to waste time trying to find and save me... I know they just saved me because of public knowledge of the attack and it would look bad on the Hero Commission if they didn't save me, and for information about the League... but why did the others come?! Why did my classmates come?! They could have gotten hurt... they almost died when the building came crashing down on us... why did they risk their lives to come for me!? Why would they even want to save someone like me?"

Nezu gently pulled the green haired boy in for a hug, letting Midoriya lean against his chest.

He thought that the heroes just saved him for information?

"Everyone close to me gets hurt. My parents, Rikaru, all my classmates, Reiko... Even pros like Eraserhead and All Might!" Midoriya faintly wailed, his breaths coming in fast as he tried to breathe, "Even if I try not to think about it, it comes to mind unexpectedly! Mama and Papa died because of me, Rikaru died because of me, and the Symbol of Peace died because of me! Eraserhead... the other pros like Kamui Woods, Edgeshot, Ingenium, Gang Orca, Best Jeanist, all the civilians caught up in the attack... Shinsou, Iida, Yaoyorozu, Todoroki and Uraraka... they all got hurt because of me! They could have all died because of me!"

He was trembling like a leaf in a tornado, and Nezu placed his head on Midoriya's shoulder, trying to do his best to calm his pup. He didn't know who on earth Rikaru was, but they must be pretty important to Midoriya to be affecting him like this.

"Japan is a mess, more villains are popping out left and right, because of the fall of All Might. All Might tried to keep his other form a secret, but now, everyone knows about his condition, and the villains are taking advantage of it. Because of me. Because I'm weak." Midoriya hoarsely stammered out, "I'm useless, I'm worthless! I killed the Symbol of Peace! I did this!"

He's been carrying this with him the whole time... he's been worrying about it... thinking about it...

Nezu tightened his grip around Midoriya, slowly running his paw through Midoriya's green fluffy hair, his heart clenching.

"I don't know what to do. I can't help anyone. I can't save anyone. I can't understand anyone. I can't talk to my classmates, I can't even look my teachers in the eye. And now, I can't even fight. That was the only thing I was good at, and I can't even do it anymore. I can't do anything right at all, all I do is just cause more trouble and pain for everyone else."

His voice was empty, hollow, like he had given up.

"I'm tired... of trying to fight. I can't be a hero."

Nezu gently nuzzled Midoriya, "You were more heroic than everyone else, Izuku. No matter what, you kept on fighting, to protect your classmates, to protect Kota, to protect Reiko and Ryuto. Everything you did, it was for someone else, never for yourself. All Might would have to retire sooner or later; it was better than he went out with a bang, taking down one of Japan's most notorious and powerful villains. None of this was your fault, Izuku. You're digging and scraping, desperately trying to do something that you think that is expected of you, to prove yourself."

The principal noted as Midoriya clenched his fists, shaking even more violently, and continued, "But you've already proven yourself, time and time again. You're taking on a burden that's much too heavy for anyone your age to take, alone; a burden that even most heroes now won't be able to carry. You've sacrificed so much for everyone else, everything, in fact, asking for nothing in return. Everyone, even heroes, fall down sometimes. But that doesn't mean that they are weak or useless. They get up, and try again. That's what makes them strong, that's what truly makes them true heroes."

Nezu leaned back, gently placing his paw on Midoriya's cheek, looking at the boy in the eye. His gaze was dim, but in that vacant void, Nezu could see all the guilt, the sorrow, the sadness, his pain, his broken sense of self worth, everything that Midoriya was hiding behind a mask, a facade that was slowly breaking apart.

"No matter what has happened, no matter how many times villains have hurt you, no matter how you peers have mocked and bullied you, no matter how much people put you down, I've only seen you get back up. It's okay to be scared; it's only natural, after everything you've been through. But you're not weak, not useless, and you'll never be worthless. You did your best to help everyone around you. You're already a hero, Izuku."

But his burned eyes could no longer see any color, as Nezu coaxed the green haired boy to his feet and to the bathroom in the gym, washing off the blood on his hands before wrapping them up in bandages from the first aid kit. He followed blindly, wordlessly, as Nezu led him back to UA's main building, back to the principal's office.

His body collapsed weakly on the couch in the principal's office, and all he heard was the echo inside his head.

There is no meaning, there is no purpose.

There is no escape.

You can't run away from yourself, Deku.