Author's note: My apologies for the delay. I had to do a fair bit of re-writing in this chapter, hence why it took so long. I'd also like to apologise for totally forgetting to put a Psych Notes bit after the chapter Growing Pains to talk about panic attacks. I'll put that at the end of that chapter when I get a moment. Hope you good folks are all doing well, and if you're not, that's all right, too! Surviving is enough. :) Thanks as always for your comments, and drink ya water!
Under the guise of a quick camping trip, Elrond slipped out with Glorfindel and me a few days later to start the experiments I had planned. We headed to Rhudaur, a region north of the Trollshaws that was known for having absolutely sod-all of note there. I asked that we get away somewhere as boring as that because I didn't want anyone getting wind of the flapdoodle we were about to get up to.
Where we had chosen to set up was a lovely little spot. It was situated on a small lake, the land flat for almost as far as the eye could see. The only things around us were a few clusters of trees and a handful of stones and boulders, ranging from the size of a garden decoration to as big as a house. It was the perfect playground for tests of strength.
"Now," I pondered aloud after we had set up our tent. "Should we go for a swim, or do we start experimenting?" I eyed the water longingly as it glittered invitingly in the afternoon sun.
"Experimenting," Elrond and Glorfindel firmly said in chorus. Glorfindel and I looked at Elrond in surprise. It wasn't often that he got this keen for something.
"The Great Oz has spoken," I declared, and with that, they followed me as I walked over to a collection of rocks of various sizes.
I stood there quietly for a moment, wondering where to start and how to go about doing this. Glorfindel, in the meantime, took off his outer robe and went to a solid-looking hunk of granite a little larger than a microwave.
"Ah, a control group," I said. "Excellent idea."
We watched on as he bent down, clutched it, and with some strain, he picked it up, lifted it above his head, walked around in a circle with it, and put it back on the ground. The rock would have been some 350 kilograms, about 100 kilograms more than the world's strongest man had been recorded to lift, so even getting it off the ground was extremely impressive.
"Damn!" I said, giving him The Nod. Glorfindel beamed and strolled back over to us.
"Your turn, Elrond," he said, his cheeks pleasantly rosy.
"Oh, I'm not here to test my own strength," Elrond said, waving a hand quickly. "I wanted to watch Rhodri throw large things around."
"Are you sure you don't want to try?" Glorfindel pressed, clearly interested in seeing Elrond's limits.
"Am I to interpret that as a request?" Elrond asked, to which Glorfindel nodded fervently.
"Very well, let me see…" he strode over to the same rock and picked it up with a similar amount of difficulty as his predecessor. Not to be outdone, he threw it a little as he let go, letting out a grunt as he did.
"Hey, hey, watch it!" I said with a laugh. "You'll make a chasm in the earth if you keep that sort of thing up."
With a breathless chuckle, Elrond made a gesture inviting me to pick up the rock myself. I loped over and, remembering my workplace health and safety rules of lifting, bent at the knees, making my rear end stick out like I was trying to moon someone. A giggle came from Elrond, and Glorfindel was suspiciously silent, but I was not to be swayed.
"If you knew the first thing about looking after your back, you'd be doing the same thing, Mr. Peredhel," I barked at Elrond. I clasped my hands on the sides of this rock and braced myself, preparing for a little strain myself.
That was a foolish thing to do, though, because in bracing myself I had spring-loaded my muscles, and the moment I exerted force in lifting the stone, it flew up and clocked me under the jaw with a noisy thud. Suddenly in pain, I panicked and let go of the rock, after which it landed on my foot. A loud stream of incoherent profanities came out of me as Elrond (fully aware of my hardiness and self-healing capabilities), now howled with laughter. Glorfindel at least had the grace to gasp a little and ask if I was all right.
"A bit sore, but otherwise fine, thanks," I said off-handedly. I tilted the stone and shifted my totalled foot out from underneath it, straining a moment as I felt the bones piece back together. Turning back to my travelling companions, I gave a withering look before rolling my eyes and bending down again. This time, I was much more careful about not bracing myself, and in a second, I had the stone sitting in one hand, tossing and catching it casually like it was a deck of cards. I put the rock down carefully where I'd found it and went back to Glorfindel and Elrond, who were exchanging wide-eyed glances.
"Well, that was useless," I said, dissatisfied. "Let's take it up a few notches, shall we? How about that really big one? In for a penny, in for a pound, after all…"
I strolled over to the house-sized boulder, which sat by the cluster of trees where we had pitched our tent.
"Hey," I shouted, "How about I put this over by the lake there and we can dive off it into the water?"
"Do it! Do it!" Glorfindel yelled excitedly. Elrond nodded fervently.
I looked up at the rock. It was a huge, broad monolith of a thing, craggy, with a wide base. The perfect diving platform, in other words, and more than a suitable challenge. At a guess, it would have weighed about 300 tons, which was a positively ridiculous jump in difficulty. Still, I was determined to give it a try.
I bent down, still looking ridiculous as I positioned myself safely, but this time I didn't hear any cackling from Elrond. With a loud grunt, I went as hard as I could and heaved the rock over my head. I slowly walked it toward the water and, straining all the while, lowered it gently onto the ground. Panting a little, I went over to where my thunderstruck companions stood and said, "Well, I think that's about my limit, to be honest with you. Want to go swimming?"
Glorfindel and Elrond's mouths were moving, but no sound emerged.
"I'll take that as a yes," I said with a laugh and jogged over to the tent to get my swimsuit on, my body as refreshed as if I hadn't just hauled something the size of a house around.
Eventually, I was joined in the water, where we splashed and dove like a trio of fools until well into the evening. I was floating on my back and admiring the stars when Glorfindel said, "What about testing what you got from Irmo?"
I absent-mindedly swirled my hand around in the water, making a small whirlpool. "I'm honestly not sure how to do that in a way that is considered ethical that will actually reveal what I'm able to do."
"Oh?" Elrond asked.
"What's the problem?" Glorfindel added.
"You already know my principle that I don't enter the minds of others," I said as I bounced nervously on my toes. "I don't want to get into that sort of invasion of privacy with anyone, but I can't exactly perform the experiment on myself."
"You're more than welcome to read my thoughts," Glorfindel said with a smile. "Delve as deep as you like."
"I'm not sure how accurate of an answer that would give us, seeing as we're bound," I returned pensively. "But we can give it a try, I suppose. Think of something and try your best to stop me from accessing it."
I grimaced and shook my head; I hated, hated, hated the idea of doing this. A hand touched my arm. I looked up and saw Glorfindel looking at me with a gentle smile.
"It's all right, I promise," he said, nodding reassuringly. "Go ahead."
I took a deep breath, let it out, and steeled myself before I glanced at his forehead. In my mind's eye, I penetrated through his head and ended up in something like a huge, opulent lobby, well-lit and filled with a soft humming sound. Ghostly, formless vignettes calmly milled around, with nothing to do and nowhere to be. At a guess, they were Glorfindel's memories, because in the split second I looked at them, scenes were playing out on them, like films being projected onto small smoke screens. The serenity was occasionally disturbed as other spectres zoomed around quickly, mutating from shape to shape- letters became animals, which turned into people, numbers, objects. I decided they must have been thoughts, ricocheting off the walls and, occasionally, the memories in their zippy excitement.
So this is what the inside of a mind is like, I mused to myself in surprise.
Something shot across the room and into a transparent chest, which slammed shut and locked itself with a loud click. I realised that this was the thing I was meant to dig out, but I couldn't help feeling confused. What was the point of locking it, of even putting anything in the chest in the first place if said chest couldn't even initially keep it secret? I could see that it was a memory. I looked at the lock, and it broke. The lid to the chest flew open and in that moment, I knew the memory was mine.
As if transferred by wi-fi straight to me, I could see the memory play out as though it were unfolding in my own head, even though it was floating around the forum that was the interior of Glorfindel's mind. It was the day we sunbaked on that huge black rock en route to the Grey Havens and I unknowingly serenaded Glorfindel. From what I could tell, I was Glorfindel, seeing all from his perspective.
A gentle warmth spread to Glorfindel's--and, by extension, my fingertips as he lay there, watching myself obliviously playing the guitar and warbling away like the blithely unaware fool that I was. Memory Rhodri turned around when she stopped singing and looked at him, her cheeks suddenly reddening. She made a rather obvious attempt to save face by saying, "A penny for your thoughts, my sunsh-" before stopping mid-sentence, now completely scarlet.
I sensed a wild fluttering in Glorfindel's stomach. His face grew warm as he sat up now, a smile stretching from ear to ear. Foolish Rhodri went to slide off the rock, and I could feel Glorfindel's mouth go dry upon realising his window of opportunity had presented itself. His heart was at risk of absconding via his throat now as he threw caution to the wind and said, "I don't know if this helps, Rhodri, but I was so thrilled the day you told me you weren't interested in Gil-Galad."
With that, the memory came to an end, and I quickly left the inside of his head. I had to take a second to readjust myself to my surroundings, finding myself rather discombobulated.
"So, Rhodri," Glorfindel said after I shook my head a little. "How did it go?"
"It was odd," I answered slowly. "Whatever you did to try and conceal it didn't work. It was contained in a transparent box, and I was able to break into it effortlessly."
"Are you certain you found the correct thing?" checked Elrond.
"Were you attempting to hide the memory of me playing the guitar on the black rock as we journeyed to the Grey Havens?" I asked Glorfindel, carefully avoiding any mention of romantic overtones.
He nodded. "The very same," he replied with a warm smile.
"Could you feel me penetrate your mind?" I enquired curiously.
Glorfindel cocked his head to the side as he considered my question. "A little, but not much," he said after a moment.
"Hmm," I flicked the surface of the water absent-mindedly. "I'll need to find someone my fëa isn't tethered to and try getting into their head as well, just to be certain this isn't because we're married," I mused. "I might try and see if Bregedúr will let me have a go the next time she's visiting."
"Or," suggested Elrond, "you could try on me, if you like."
I looked at Elrond in surprise. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking him. If he wasn't willing to try therapy, I figured that was a pretty reliable indicator that he in no way wanted me getting a look-in at his mind.
"Are you sure about this?" I said cautiously. "I'm happy to try on someone else when we get back to Imladris."
"Quite, yes," he replied with a small smile. "I would ask that you do not avail yourself of anything of a nature you would not be willing to make accessible to me yourself, though."
"A more than fair deal, I think," I concurred with a nod.
"In which case, please go ahead," he said with an inviting gesture toward his brain.
If I had felt uneasy about penetrating Glorfindel's mind, it was nothing compared to what I was feeling as I went to do the same to Elrond. I would have rather had my teeth pulled sans anaesthesia. Not wanting to drag this out, I took a deep breath and in a flash, I was inside Elrond's head, which looked remarkably like the library in Imladris. Memories and thoughts moved slower in here, but at the same time, they were still more chaotic. Thoughts bumped into memories far more often, and I got the impression it was painful, because both parties were sent reeling before they eventually drew to a halt. Nothing seemed to be hidden from me. Worried, I kept my eyes to the ground, afraid to look up in case I was indeed able to access anything without trying.
"Where is it, Elrond?" I felt myself ask. Something guided my vision to a box a few metres away. Another see-through chest, it seemed, containing another memory. As soon as I looked at it, the chest burst open, and I received the memory: Elrond was sitting on his balcony, one leg crossed over the other, wearing those magnificent purple overalls. I could feel him fighting to keep a straight face as Celebrían, Glorfindel, Bregedúr and I all burst through the door, covered in dirt and wearing our own overalls.
"Who wants wine?" he asked, the rapidly emerging smile threatening to take over his entire face now as he watched all of us stare at him in disbelief. And then, suddenly, I felt a joyful laugh escape him as we onlookers collectively lost our shit, wildly cheering and slapping him on the back. His elation filled me as he beamed, savouring the moment so intensely that he practically glowed.
A fraction of a second later, the memory ended, and I saw myself out of there as quickly as possible, keen not to linger.
"So, Rhodri," I heard Elrond say as he and Glorfindel came back into view, "how was that?"
"The same as with Glorfindel, assuming you were trying to obscure the memory of when we saw you in your overalls for the first time." I watched his face, awaiting his answer.
Elrond smiled and nodded. "Indeed," he said. "I also could barely feel your presence in my head."
I hummed contemplatively. "That's very interesting," I said under my breath.
A shudder passed over me. "I hated that," I murmured. "With any luck, I'll never need to use it."
"It could be very advantageous in finding out once and for all what is in Curumo's mind, though," suggested Glorfindel as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Elrond nodded in agreement.
"Mmm, that's part of the reason I wanted to test it out before the next White Council, actually," I confirmed.
"And the rest of the reason?" Elrond asked.
"Guilt and curiosity," I replied with a grin and a shrug. "Seems kind of immoral to not exercise powers for good right now, and even more so to not even bother finding out what power one has at one's disposal in the first place."
Elrond and Glorfindel shrugged and nodded, my response apparently legit.
We emerged from the water shortly after, keen to warm up by the fire before bed, and when the flames had died down to glowing embers, Elrond retired to the tent.
"Are you feeling brave enough to access a memory or two more?" Glorfindel asked me, the gentle incandescence of the fading fire lighting up half his smile. "I think you might find them amusing."
I shifted uneasily. "I'd rather not have to search for them," I replied.
"No need for that," he said with a small laugh. "They're immediately available."
After a moment, I gingerly nodded.
"You'll like it, I promise," Glorfindel assured me, and as we locked eyes, I was in the memory straight away.
Glorfindel appeared to be sitting on Elrond's balcony with him, the sun still high in the sky. It must have been morning or midday in the summer, judging by the dense, green foliage on the trees the balcony looked out over. Elrond had been staring out at a small spider web on the balustrade for far longer than was needed to glean any useful information about it.
"You seem preoccupied, mellon-nîn," Glorfindel said affably, watching him with interest.
"Mmm…" Elrond replied. "I would like your thoughts on something I've had on my mind, Glorfindel. It has been nagging at me for weeks now."
"Tell me about it?" Glorfindel offered.
Elrond nodded. "But we must keep it between us for now," he said quickly. "Not a word to anyone of this, yes?"
"Of course," Glorfindel promised, his curiosity building up in me now.
Elrond glanced around furtively and then leaned a little toward Glorfindel, as though worried the birds might overhear.
I felt a laugh come up in Glorfindel's throat as he observed Elrond's almost comical attempt at secrecy. He leaned in as well for effect.
"It's about Gil-Galad and Rhodri," he whispered.
Glorfindel wrinkled his brow in confusion as he tried to ignore the lurch his stomach made. "What about them?"
"Have you not noticed anything unusual between the two of them of late?" Elrond said, looking taken aback.
"Well, they have been spending time together now and then," said Glorfindel with a shrug that belied a feeling of growing unease.
"They have been spending every spare minute together these last few months, Glorfindel," Elrond said pointedly, raising his eyebrows at him now. "They must be courting, and judging by the way they are so close through the day, I would hazard a guess that they are very intent on each other."
I felt Glorfindel's heart sink. He sat quietly, racking his brains for recent outward signs that Gil-Galad and I were keen for each other, but nothing seemed to come to mind. Blindsided and crestfallen, he let out a soft sigh.
"I see," he said quietly, attempting to sound pensive as he gazed out at the trees.
"They would make a very interesting pair, I think," Elrond continued, none the wiser to his friend's distress. "Gil-Galad could use some humour in his life, I think, though it would be a terrible shame to lose Rhodri if they were to marry. I shall try to broach it to her today over Happy Hour, I think." Elrond nodded at his own decision.
"Mmm," Glorfindel said noncommittally, not taking his eyes off the view as he tried to block out what Elrond was saying.
Elrond grew a little impatient as the silence that followed stretched out, and eventually said, "Well, Glorfindel? What do you have to say about all this? Glorfindel?" He waved a little to get his companion's attention.
Reluctantly, Glorfindel tore his eyes from the scenery and faced Elrond.
"If it is the case," Glorfindel murmured, "I hope he is good to her."
Elrond frowned. "Is everything all right? You are acting very out of-" his own sentence died mid-way as a look of realisation softened his face. "Glorfindel, do you- are you-" he skipped over the verb, "with Rhodri?" He watched him carefully, scrutinising his face for any sign of an answer.
I felt Glorfindel's stomach lurch again before he looked back out at the view, giving a sad nod and saying nothing more.
"Oh, Glorfindel," Elrond said gently as he got up and moved his chair right beside him. He put an arm around Glorfindel's shoulder and gave him a small squeeze. "I had no idea. I am sorry."
Glorfindel shrugged a little with his free shoulder. "The heart wants what it wants," he said simply. "Her happiness is what counts here, and I will always treasure our friendship." He forced a smile as I felt a heaviness begin to grow in his chest.
Elrond peered at his friend with concern, presumably racking his brains for comforting words and finding none.
Glorfindel stood up slowly, the chair scraping a little as he rose. "I think I need a walk," he announced.
"Would you like company?" Elrond offered cautiously.
Glorfindel shook his head with a soft smile. "No, but thank you, Elrond. I'll see you this evening." With that, he headed out, leaving a slightly flustered Elrond sitting alone.
The memory stopped there, and I had absolutely no idea what to do. I wanted to squeeze Glorfindel to me as tightly as I could and make all sorts of huge and grand declarations of my undying adoration to him. Before I could break the contact, though, another memory came up.
The weighty feeling in my chest returned as Glorfindel gently strolled through the corridor to the dining hall. It was dark outside, and I presumed Glorfindel had returned from that walk. He saw Elrond and me coming from the other direction, Elrond looking thoroughly amused as he walked beside a worried-looking Rhodri. Glorfindel's heart skipped a beat as he slowly came
over to us, a small smile reflexively turning up his face.
Elrond smiled at me, then looked over at Glorfindel with a twinkle in his eye and laughed, saying, "I believe congratulations are in order."
"Oh my god, Elrond, no they are not," I said quickly, almost snapping my neck from the force as I turned to look at Glorfindel. I seemed clearly under the impression Elrond was winding me up.
Still chortling to himself, Elrond disappeared into the dining hall.
"Is everything all right?" Glorfindel asked, the heaviness in his chest replaced with a churning stomach now.
"Magnificent, thank you," I replied. "You have been misinformed."
I felt his entire torso threaten to depart from the rest of him as an almost-frantic me started explaining.
"You may have been told there is something going on between Gil-Galad and me in a romantic sense. If this is the case, let me assure you any such statements are grossly inaccurate," I said emphatically, gesticulating forcefully with every second word. "There is nothing, nor has there ever been anything of that nature between us. And it's not going to happen in the future, either, I'll tell you that now."
I perceived an effervescent mixture of happiness and relief that built up rapidly and came out of Glorfindel as an uncontrollable laugh, loud and sparkling.
"So no wedding for you and Gil-Galad, is that right?" he asked as he attempted to wrangle his mirth into submission.
"That's absolutely right. No wedding whatsoever," a resolute me replied, shaking my head hard. "Better as a friend, for sure."
The cheery mood emboldened Glorfindel enough to probe a little further, and he said, "None whatsoever? You don't want to marry at all?"
He watched me carefully as I said, "Oh, someday I wouldn't mind." I added as a quick after thought, "Just not to Gil-Galad," and laughed.
I noticed another thrill of hopeful excitement pass through Glorfindel that took some stamina to suppress, but he managed to keep it under wraps as he smiled and nodded.
"Perfectly fair," Glorfindel acknowledged. "Shall we go and eat our bodyweight in food, then?"
With a smile and a thumbs-up from me, we walked into the dining hall together, both of us with a much more lively, cheerful gait now.
As everything went dark, I snapped back into my own perspective and looked at my spouse in total incredulity.
"That congratulations was for you!" I gasped, laughing wildly as Glorfindel watched me with a blushing grin.
"It would seem so, yes," he replied, quite decently aglow now.
"All these years, I thought Elrond was just being a shit-stirrer," I said, shaking my head. "Well, he is a shit-stirrer, but he's absolved himself on that occasion, at least," I conceded to myself after a moment.
I looked up at Glorfindel quickly. "Let me make it manifestly clear," I said to him, putting both hands on his shoulders, "That I am beyond ecstatic to be yours. Cannot overstate it." I crawled into his lap and grabbed him tightly. "Thank you so much for taking pity on my obliviousness and dropping extremely obvious hints."
Glorfindel snorted as he snuggled me into him. "Be assured that I'm equally as delighted to be yours," he murmured with a giggle. "And even more delighted, perhaps, that you're actually aware of that." He burst out laughing at his own joke, and cackled even harder as I groaned.
