A/N: So sorry for another long wait! Real life has not been leaving room in my head to get into the minds of these characters, so I've been rather uninspired. I'll try not to leave you waiting so long next time, but regardless… I promise you I am not abandoning this story!
Thank you as always for reading, and an extra big thanks to those who take a minute to review! I love hearing from you!
Chapter 45
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2016 | 11:15 AM | FOUR
I am standing in the alley behind our apartment building. Why I followed Uriah and Tris this far, I cannot explain. I am barely avoiding a slimy-looking puddle on the wet, cracked asphalt beneath my feet, forcing me too close to the nearly overflowing dumpster. Thank God it's winter; the odor is pungent enough now. In the summer, Zeke and I always fought about who should take out the trash, because the heat ripens everyone's refuse to a stench that is unbearable.
It started with Uriah bouncing around the apartment, bragging to Tris that he found the answer to their problem and it wouldn't cost them a dime. Uriah camping out on the couch is already annoying me. I was hoping that Tris and I could fall right back into our usual morning routine, reading together on the couch, but that wasn't possible with Uriah sleeping in on his day off.
As we followed Uriah down the stairwell, Tris told me that she and Uriah had discussed the roommate situation yesterday, but didn't agree on a solution. I hold myself back from suggesting that there is plenty of room for her in my queen-sized bed. That is an invitation that would not go over well. Maybe one day… but not yet.
Uriah's intention becomes clear when, grinning, he proudly points to his left. Next to him, propped up against the fence, is what appears to be the makings of a bunk bed. I can only shake my head. I have often joked that Zeke must have been dropped on his head as a baby. Then I met Uriah and decided that the problem must be something genetic.
"Hell, no," Tris spits. I watch her cross her arms over her chest and level a glare in Uriah's direction.
Uriah's excited smile and outstretched arm both begin falling. "But Triiis," he whines, "why?"
"Where do I even start?" she scoffs. She opens her mouth, then after a long wordless moment, snaps it shut and looks to me with wide eyes.
"The wood is splintering on the frame," I point out. "Those mattresses have been out in the rain, they'll mold. And they don't look very clean."
"They're just a little stained," Uriah protests, startling as a rat skitters out from behind the propped mattresses. "Won't even see it, even when you're changing the sheets, once it's got a mattress cover."
"Uriah, it's disgusting." Tris tiptoes around the slimy puddle and covers her hand with her coat sleeve before tipping the top mattress to show the one beneath. "This one looks like someone was murdered on it. And― oh my god!" Tris shrieks and jumps back, narrowly missing the mystery puddle. "Uriah, there is something moving in there."
A full-body shudder visibly runs through Tris before she leaps around the puddle and back to my side. Meanwhile, Uriah is teasing her about being dramatic while he starts toward the disgusting bed.
"What was it?" I ask Tris quietly, tuning Uriah out.
"My best guess is, a rat's nest," she says, face twisted in disgust.
In the background Uriah's chatter suddenly stops. He lets out a girly squeak and I hear his shoes scrape at the pavement. He turns around to face us and I swear his face is a couple of shades paler than usual.
"Okay… we'll figure something else out," Uriah quickly agrees. Then he speed walks around us and out of the alleyway, leaving Tris and me to follow.
Tris and I look at each other and start laughing. I am relieved at the sound; it's the first time I have heard her laugh since she got home from Whistler. I have found myself watching her when she thinks no one is looking, trying to make sure she's okay. She and Uriah are so close, I know this break-up can't be easy.
Tris shakes her head as, in unison, we turn and start toward the mouth of the alleyway. Unbidden, my hand moves to guide her by the small of her back; just in time, I stop myself from touching her. But it's close enough that she feels my proximity, and Tris glances over her shoulder, looking confused when nothing is there.
I clear my throat. "Are you going to Zeke's party tonight?" I ask, hoping to distract her.
"That's the plan," she shrugs. "You?"
"Yeah," I tell her. "Zeke has a New Year's Eve party every year. It will be a lot more fun this time, knowing that I am not the one who will have to clean up the next day."
"I bet it will," Tris chuckles. We climb the stairs to the apartment, side by side. She glances at me. "Do you think my bike will be safe parked on the street by Zeke's place overnight? By midnight, I probably won't be in any condition to ride it home."
"Probably as safe as it is in the lot here," I answer. "You're not riding with Uriah?"
"Oh, no, he has a date." She sounds so nonchalant, and her face gives away no emotion.
"Already?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. I was hurt when I learned she had moved on so quickly with Uriah, but that had been months later; Uriah and Tris broke up only two days ago. Suddenly I want, more than ever before, to punch Uriah in the face. I take a calming breath in order to keep my voice even. "Is he taking her to the party?"
Tris nods and does not slow her pace, striding toward the apartment door. I grab her wrist and stop her.
"Are you sure you're okay? I can't believe he―" I look away and shake my head. "Why not go to a movie or something instead? I'd bail on the party and go with you if you wanted."
"Four, I'm fine," she gives me a pointed look, "so long as people stop making such a big deal about this."
I don't believe her, but there is no point in arguing. It will only make her more determined to go. "If you're sure."
"I am." The words are clipped, and she stares straight forward, her lips pressed into a thin, straight line. Then she looks me in the eyes, then down to her arm that I am still tightly holding, and back up to my eyes.
I release her arm and nod in surrender. "Sorry," I say. "Well, in that case… I was going to walk to Zeke's tonight. You should walk with me, it's not too far." I find myself holding my breath as I wait for her to answer. I keep getting the feeling that she is carrying this tension with her; she is stretched tight like a rubber band and I want to keep an eye on her in case it snaps.
Tris bites her lip. She glances up at my face but her gaze skirts mine, eyes not making contact. I find myself holding my breath until she gives in and says, "Yeah, sure, I guess we could walk together."
It's not the enthusiasm I would have hoped for, but it's a yes nonetheless.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2016 | 9:20 PM | TRIS
Zeke's party is already crowded when we arrive, with bass thumping loud enough to reverberate in my chest and discarded beer bottles already littering every flat surface. I separate from Four as soon as we are in the door and make a beeline for the kitchen to make myself a drink, then join in on the game of Jenga that is taking place at Zeke's round kitchen table. Most of them are strangers. The only person I know in this group is Lynn, and I slip into a gap between her and a tall guy in his early twenties. He is attractive, with olive skin, wavy dark hair and a defined jawline. He introduces himself as Brad and makes no attempt to hide it when he checks me out.
While waiting for my first turn, I sip at my rum and coke and quickly evaluate the Jenga tower. The second level from the bottom is down to one center brick. Each time someone removes a brick, the structure wobbles dangerously.
Across the room I see Four, a pair of scantily clad girls crowding into his bubble of personal space, obviously flirting with him. One of them gestures with her hands as she talks. But instead of looking at the person speaking to him, he has locked eyes with mine. I feel that guy Brad's hand on my arm and just catch Four's eyes hardening before I look away.
"Your turn, Tris," Brad tells me, just as Lynn kicks me in the leg to get my attention back on the game. I scowl at her and she just shrugs. Brad's hand is still on my arm, so I scoot a little closer to Lynn so it will drop.
I take my time selecting a piece to remove from the tower. Just as I am pulling it out, I hear a familiar voice rumbling behind me. It startles me and a moment later the whole tower is crashing down. I spin around, leveling a glare at Four, who is bumping fists with Brad.
"You startled me and now I lost, Four!" I complain. Four smirks at me. All I can do is roll my eyes before I throw back the rest of my drink ― the penalty for losing the game.
"What are you having, Tris?" Brad asks me. "I'm headed to the kitchen."
"Rum and coke," I say, smiling sweetly at him and ignoring the expressionless mask on Four's face. Lynn disappears from next to me, too, as I begin to stack the bricks up to reset the game. Four silently helps me. Lynn returns first, then Brad, who reaches past Four to hand me my drink. The game is starting when I realize that Four has managed to position himself as a buffer between Brad and me, like he's trying to be my chaperone. I glower down into my cup.
After the game ends, Four goes to get another beer and I drift into the crowded living room while he's gone. I wander along the edge of the room, smiling at Christina when she waves at me while still dancing with Will.
An arm settles heavily across my shoulders.
"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" a voice slurs near my ear. I turn my head to smile at Zeke, who now seems to be using me as an armrest. His eyes are bright and glassy and a grin stretches wide across his face.
I laugh. "Great party," I compliment.
Zeke tips an invisible hat with his free hand. "Thank you, madame," he says in a terrible accent that is somewhere between Irish and Australian.
I laugh. "Do you actually know all these people?"
"'Course not. I invite people, and they bring people, who bring even more people."
I shake my head. "I would hate having so many strangers in my house."
"That why you guys haven't had a party since you moved here?"
I shrug. "Never thought about it. But now that you mention it, I do prefer to let someone else get their house trashed."
"So does Shauna," he admits. "I just annoy her about it 'til she gives in."
"Guess I've got a better immunity to the Pedrad charm."
Zeke smiles, but then his face falls to an unusually serious expression. "Uriah told me you guys decided to be just friends."
"Mm-hmm," I confirm.
He eyes me, sceptical of my stoic non-reaction. "Are you okay?"
"Fine," I say, too quickly, but he doesn't show any sign that he notices. "But it's awkward since we share a room."
"Well," Zeke smirks, "there's an easy solution to that. I'm sure Four would love for you to move in with him."
"Zeke!" I smack his arm. "God. You and Uriah need to stop with that. Speaking of beds, did Uriah tell you he tried to dumpster dive for a bunk bed?"
"He's always wanted a bunk bed," Zeke reminisces. "Wait, so it all worked out, then?"
I shake my head. "I said dumpster dive, Zeke. Literally dumpster diving. For a bed." I launch into a narrative of this morning's trip into the alley, which soon has Zeke throwing his head back in laughter and using me not just as an armrest, but to partially support his weight and steady himself.
Zeke is just quieting down when I spot Four just across the room. His face is impassive to the brunette hanging off his arm. Her dress is about two sizes too small and she is tall, nearly matching his height in her high heels. Zeke follows my gaze. "He can be so awkward sometimes," he chuckles. "Not that I need to tell you." The girl is practically pressing her fake boobs up against him. "But it looks like he won't have any trouble finding someone to kiss at midnight."
The idea of Four kissing that slut makes me feel sick. But I don't think that will happen. Four doesn't just look awkward… he looks uncomfortable.
I smile politely at Zeke and empty my plastic cup in one gulp. "I gotta go get another drink."
Zeke nods. "Yeah, hurry up. You're nowhere near drunk enough."
I laugh. Zeke gives me a quick squeeze and lets his arm drop from my shoulders. I weave through the crowded room toward Four, trying to think up the best way to save Four from the party's biggest skank. I'm just being a good friend. That sharp twinge of discomfort in my stomach is just the alcohol. Definitely not jealousy, there's no way I would get jealous about Four; that's all in the past. After I rescue him from the bimbo, I'll find a snack and then I'll feel better.
The girl has a drink in her hand, making for an easy opportunity to get this chick to go away. When I'm just feet away, I intentionally bump into a passing guest, tripping forward and into the girl... knocking into her drink and causing it to tip right down into her cleavage.
Little miss look-at-my-boobs slowly turns, her face a picture of shock and quickly rising anger. You would think I dumped a whole bucket of the stuff over her head, not spilled a bit down her front. "Look what you did!" she screeches.
"I'm so sorry," I gush, putting on my best face of innocence and apology. "I tripped! Look, I'm sure Zeke has some club soda or something, let's just-"
"This dress is silk! This isn't going to come out. Eugh!" The girl looks furious and her voice has gone this whiny, nasal high pitched tone. I see Four cringe and as soon as the girl looks down again I wink at him. The corner of his lip twitches as he holds back his amusement.
The girl scurries off to clean herself up. When she is out of earshot, Four drops the facade and begins to chuckle. "Thanks for that. I told her I wasn't interested but she was...persistent," he says, scratching the back of his neck. I feel something inside me warm up, and a smug sort of satisfaction, at hearing him confirm that he wasn't interested in her. Like that stab a few minutes ago which was decidedly not jealousy.
I shrug. "Don't mention it." I turn and start toward the nearby kitchen; I can see Christina and Will in there snacking from a bag of Doritos. But Four follows me, taking a few steps to catch up. I am in the doorway when his fingers wrap around my arm and he stops me, coming to stand in front of me. I turn and raise my eyebrows.
Four just stares at me for a moment, brow furrowed. "You know I'm not interested in girls like that, don't you?"
I swallow. "It's none of my business, Four."
"Yes it is."
My lips part and now it's my turn to just stare. I am drowning in those deep blue eyes, eyes that are trying to tell me so much. Drowning in a sea of desire and devotion and love, in all the things I keep locked away in memories of Tobias that I try never to take out. I just stare, and he stares back.
"Four and Tris," a voice sing-songs, breaking us from our reverie. I snap to attention, and when I turn my head, there is Christina wearing a sly grin. Her eyes raise to look at something above our heads. "Look where you're standing."
I look up and barely hold back my groan of indignation. There, directly above Four and me, a sprig of mistletoe hangs in the doorway. I try to sidestep back into the living room but Christina lunges forward to hold me in place. "Nuh-uh," she demands in a tone that leaves no room for argument. "You have to kiss!" I scowl at her and ignore the quiet huff coming from Four. "Oh, come on, Tris. Don't be a grinch. It's a holiday tradition!"
"It's not Christmas. It's New Years," I protest.
"Potato, po-tah-toe. Stop being a baby and kiss him already."
I try to engage her in a stare down, but Four has had enough. Before I know what is happening, he slides his hand into my hair, cupping the curve of my skull, and presses his lips against mine.
I don't kiss back at first, fighting against the feelings bubbling up inside of me, but he doesn't give up. I don't want to feel this way for Four, but want quickly turns to need and I can't help myself. I kiss back... I savor his lips against mine, that full bottom lip plump and mostly soft but just a tiny bit chapped. My hands are moving on their own, first to his cheek, then sliding down to rest on his chest while his hand slowly slides from my hair down my neck and back. He pulls me a little closer and I am ready for us to deepen the kiss when he pulls slowly away and drops his hands, stepping back.
I stand there, lips parted, feeling almost in shock. Four steps back and buries his hands in his pockets. His face is tinged with pink, right up to the tips of his ears. If the heat in my cheeks is anything to go by, I'm sure I'm blushing just as hotly. I clear my throat, my eyes darting around the room to look anywhere else but at Four. I finally settle on Christina's face, wide-eyed and jaw dropped.
"And you didn't want to kiss him," she mutters, cocking an eyebrow.
I look around and find that Christina is not the only one staring at us. Will is smirking, Shauna appears to be somewhere between happy and shocked, and that guy Brad from the Jenga game is scowling.
This is not what I wanted tonight. I wanted to escape, like I did at that first party I went to with Uriah, the one where I took on the carefree persona of Tris. Things aren't supposed to be so complicated for Tris, this wasn't supposed to happen. All of my feelings for my first love were supposed to be buried with the name Beatrice.
"I'm just gonna..." I start, but I trail off and swallow, having no idea what excuse to give. I can't think over all the thoughts swimming in my head and the creeping panic building in my chest. I just want to run away from Four, and from these gawking people, and even from myself and these stupid feelings that keep cropping back up.
So, without explanation, I turn and push my way between people and disappear into the crowd.
