Rolling over to check the time, Amy sighs heavily in frustration as the bright red numbers tell her that sleep is overrated. It's 4:15 am on Christmas Eve and she is no closer to fixing her physical relationship with Sheldon than she was when he arrived in Paris 8 days ago. It's funny, she thinks to herself as she gets out of bed and goes to the window to look at the Eiffel Tower, her favorite Parisian landmark. Sheldon balked at physical intimacy any time she wanted it, but now that he wants it, she's the one dragging her feet.

It's not that she doesn't want to be intimate, it's... it's... well she can't quite put her finger on what happened earlier tonight, hence her being awake at 4am. After her mini freakout, Sheldon quickly retrieved one of her old sleeping gowns from her dresser and pulled it over her head. She's certain he didn't mean anything by the decision to offer her rhe frumpy old maid gown rather than his t-shirt, but to Amy, this gown represents everything that's wrong in their relationship. It simply isn't... sexy. Maybe, the problem is her, Amy decides. She doesn't feel sexy enough for Sheldon. Not after... no, she can't go there. Comparing herself to that blonde skank is only going to make her feel worse. Wondering if Sheldon fell asleep in front of the tv, Amy softly opens the bedroom door and glances out to the living room.

Sheldon is sitting at the kitchen table with only the light above the stove illuminating the room. He's carefully piping a line of white frosting along the edge of a piece of gingerbread before holding two pieces together to perfectly align them. Knowing better than to ruin the surprise, Amy quickly turns around and bumps the door, making it squeak on its hinges and alerting Sheldon to her presence.

"I was just wondering if you're coming to bed?" Amy wonders as Sheldon looks up at her.

"No. I'd only toss and turn and keep you awake," he explains before piping more frosting onto the outside edge of the gingerbread house.

"That makes two of us. May I join you?"

"Of course. I'm just constructing the houses. We'll need to wait until morning for us to decorate them."

"I've never decorated a gingerbread house," Amy admits before asking, "Is this a Cooper family tradition?"

"Yes, however, my mother would bake the gingerbread from scratch. We'd also decorate gingerbread men, sugar cookies... it was an entire day of baking and decorating," he fondly recalls. "I purchased the kits on impulse."

"I'm glad you did. This sounds like fun."

"Why can't you sleep?" he wonders.

"Same reasons as you. Are you... angry with me... about earlier today?"

"No, not angry. A little confused," he admits, "but not angry. You have the absolute right to change your mind at any time and for any reason while we are being intimate. I just... well, I never thought you would and I feel... rejected. I know..." he stops her by holding up his hand as she starts to speak, "after what I've done... and how long you waited for me to be ready to take that step with you, I have no right to feel this way."

"I wasn't going to say that. I was going to apologize to you."

"You do not owe me an apology or an explanation. I..." he sighs, "we knew this wasn't going to be easy. We're going to have setbacks. The important thing is that we keep trying."

"What if we can't fix it, Sheldon? Do we agree to a sexless relationship.? Do I agree to... let you have sexual relations with someone else?"

"Do you want that?" Sheldon wonders.

"No, of course not, but if I can no longer... be with you... I don't want to deny you that with someone else."

"Amy, listen to me, please," he begs as he reaches across the table to hold her hands, "it's a minor setback, that's all. I do not want to have coitus with anyone else. I will wait until you are ready and if... if you don't want to be intimate with me, then I will remain celibate. I'd have a very difficult time with you... having relations with other men... but if that's what you want... I will try my best to be okay with it."

"I don't want that, Sheldon. I think... I think I just expected this to be easier than it's turned out to be. You're right. It's just a minor setback. We'll keep trying."

"Good. Can I interest you in some G rated cuddling?" he wonders.

"I'd like that. Do you want to finish putting that together first?" she wonders.

"Okay," he agrees before squeezing her hands.

As Sheldon goes back to assembling the sides of the house, Amy has a sudden idea. Every good gingerbread house needs a chimeny. Rising, she turns around and opens the cupboard where she keeps her spices and tea. Quickly locating the bottle of cinnamon sticks, she opens it and removes two as Sheldon watches her with rapt attention.

"What's that for?" Sheldon wonders.

"Chimneys," she explains before questioning, "Is it stupid?"

"No. I think it's cute," he shares.

Working in silence, Sheldon finishes assembling the second gingerbread house while Amy attaches the cinnamon stick chimney to her house. Mission complete, Sheldon takes a moment to sit back and watch his girlfriend's mind at work as she slathers the roof with white frosting and uses a knife to smooth it out to resemble fresh fallen snow. It surprised him to learn that, as much as Amy loves Christmas, she had never assembled or decorated a gingerbread house. As Amy finishes the frosting and looks up, he smiles at her. Wordlessly, he reaches across the table and takes her hand, bringing it to his lips.

"Stop worrying. We're going to get through this," he tries to reassure her.

"How are you so certain?" Amy wonders.

"I'm not. I'm simply hoping that if I say it enough, it'll manifest itself."

"It's in my nature to worry, Sheldon, but I really want to fix this," Amy reassures.

"I know you do," he reassures as he goes to her. "I spoke with Meemaw earlier tonight. She told me that the problem is that I'm saying that I love you, but you don't actually feel it. I can only imagine how you must feel. I acted in a manner that destroyed any trust or respect from you."

"I... I'm not going to lie to you, Sheldon. I know you love me, here..." she pauses as she places his hand on her forehead, "but until I can feel it here..." she explains while placing their clasped hands over her heart, "I don't know how we can fix this."

"I am grateful, Amy, that you are giving me the opportunity to redeem myself. I am trying to prove through my conduct now that I love you and I am remorseful."

"I know you are, Sheldon, I know you are remorseful. I am giving this everything I can right now. I want to save us just as much as you do. I know It's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's certainly not as expedient as we would like..."

"I hope you know how much I want us to get beyond this ugly chapter of our relationship... our story," he softly questions.

"I know. I want that too."

"I'm just going to change into pajamas. Go get comfy. I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay," she replies.

Standing on her tiptoes, Amy softly kisses his cheek before going to turn out the kitchen lights and check that the door is locked while Sheldon goes to the bathroom. Snuggling under the blanket, she closes her eyes and attempts to relax as she waits for Sheldon. As he slides in under the blanket a few moments later, Amy smiles as he comments, "I've always loved how quickly your body heat warms up our bed."

"I hope you're not coming down with something. It's so unlike you to have the heat turned up past 70 degrees."

"I turned it down since I have you to keep me warm. Come here," he requests while stretching his arm out so she can snuggle into his side. Once she settles, Sheldon wonders, " are you sleepy?"

"Yeah. Were you hoping to push the boundaries on that G rating?"

"Yeah," he admits. "It's alright. Close your eyes," he whispers before leaving a lingering kiss on her forehead. Smiling as she drifts off to sleep, she hopes things will be more peaceful when they wake up.

What is that annoying sound, Amy wonders as she rolls onto her side and reaches for Sheldon. His side of the bed is cool beneath her fingers, signaling that he is most likely the culprit that woke her. Listening closer, she hears the electric whirring of a drill... no... a mixer, she decides as she gets out of bed.

"BAM!" a strange male voice echos through the kitchen as Sheldon turns off the mixer. The voice, Amy soon recalls, is that of famed chef Emeril Lagasse.

Realizing that Sheldon is watching a Youtube video, she laughs as Sheldon comments, "I don't think throwing the dough onto the counter is necessary, but I want this to be perfect. BAM!" he yells as he copies the video and flops the ball of dough down with such force that droplets splatter onto the microwave and backsplash of the wall. Looking over at Amy as she smiles and laughs, he can't help but to chuckle too.

"Good morning," Amy greets as she goes to Sheldon's side and stands on her tiptoes to softly kiss his cheek.

The bags under his eyes are a dead giveaway that he has been awake all night. He slowly turns towards her before leaning down to brush his lips against hers. For a fleeting moment, he allows her to see the worry and his pain hidden in the depths of his beautiful mind, before he turns away from her and resumes the Youtube video. It's not unusual for Sheldon to bake while he mulls over an equation or a more personal problem. What's unusual is his absolute silence, Amy worries. She decides she's not going to press him to talk to her about what's troubling him, at least for now. If she knows him as well as she believes, he'll come to her when he's ready.

"What are you making?" Amy wonders while reaching into the cupboard for her tea bags.

"Choux pastry for the croquembouche," Sheldon replies. "Here, I got it," he offers when Amy struggles to grasp the glass jar that has slid back on the shelf.

Wrapping his arms around Amy's waist, he waits until he feels her relax in his arms. Resting his mouth near her ear, he quietly murmurs to her, "what happened yesterday, it doesn't matter. Today is a new day."

"When did you reach that conclusion? The sheets were cool..."

"Just now as we kissed. I want to make Christmas special for you, Amy."

"You have. You are," she reassures.

"You said that your dad would alwys make latkes for Hannukah.I was able to find a deli nearby that sells them. If you want, we can go have breakfast there. If it's too much, we can stay in and I'll make anything you want."

"Let's go out," she decides.

"Okay," he agrees as he lets go of her. "The dough needs to rest for an hour. We should be back."

"Are we going to that cute little deli by the university?" Amy wonders as she rushes to the bedroom to get dressed.

"Yes " Sheldon confirms.

"They always have a line out the door. Unless we order it to go, we won't be back in an hour. How about I go get breakfast while you start baking Meemaw's cookies?"

"She'd never share the recipe with me," Sheldon pouts.

"You're not the only one with surprises today," Amy teases.

Reaching for the red tin sitting on the counter, Amy opens the lid and removes the three layers of parchment paper to reveal a notecard. Sheldon can see it contains a recipe, written in his Meemaw's perfect script.

"I can't believe she gave that to you. She doesn't give it out to anyone," Sheldon replies in awe.

"She said that if she were to give you the recipe, your diet would consist of only cookies and milk," Amy teases.

"An all-cookie diet. I could live like that," he happily sighs, knowing it's unrealistic.

"My very own Santa. If I poke your belly, will you exclaim ho ho ho?" Amy teases from the door way of the bedroom.

"Try it and find out," he challenges with a wink as she softly closes the door behind her.

Going to her dresser, Amy opens the top drawer and rumages through it while looking for her Harvard sweatshirt. Pulling up the black Batman tshirt, there's a thunk in the drawer as something falls out and hits the wood. Locating the black ring box, Amy sighs heavily as she opens the lid to reveal the gold clauddaugh ring that once belonged to Mary Cooper. She promised Sheldon she'd start wearing it once she is ready to take that next step in their relationship... marriage. Are they ready? Would an engagement solve their intimacy issues? Amy wonders as Sheldon knocks on the bedroom door.

"Are you decent?" he asks through the door.

"Just a second," Amy requests as she quickly hooks her bra and pulls the swearshirt over her head. "Okay."

"I decided that I want to come with you if that's alright?" he shyly asks while shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Of course. You're nervous. Did you think I'd say no?" she asks while going to him and pecking his lips.

"After last night, I determined there was a small probabilty," he admits.

"Silly. I love spending time with you, Sheldon. Last night was... well, I'm not really sure, to be honest," she admits.

"I wish... I wish I knew what to say... what to do..."

"Just be patient with me."

"Of course. Look out the window. It's snowing."

"Really?" Amy exclaims as she rushes to the window to lift the blinds. "I haven't played in the snow since my days at Harvard. Have you ever played in the snow?" she wonders.

"Do I seem like the type of person that enjoys spending time outdoors?" he quickly replies

"Good point."

Sensing he said the wrong thing as Amy turns to look out the window at the large fluffy flakes falling from the sky, Sheldon waits just a beat before embracing Amy in his arms. Softly resting his arms across her waist, he smiles before dropping a quick kiss on the crown of her head as Amy entwines their fingers.

"I'll concede that it is pretty," he murmurs.

"I'll take it," she replies.

"Neither of us slept well last night," he points out the obvious while caressing the back of her hand with his fingers. "After breakfast, would you like to take a nap?"

"Yeah," Amy admits as she starts to turn in his arms so she can locate her shoes.

"Hold on. I um... I have something I'd like to say."

"Oh?" she questions.

"It's nothing bad... at least I hope it's not taken as..." he heavily sighs. "I want to have sex, Amy. I think I've been pretty clear about that..."

"Sheldon," she interrupts with a heavy sigh, "don't pressure me."

"I'm not," he replies as she pulls out of his arms and sits on the edge of the bed.

"You are," she counters. "Now this becomes my fault. I'm rejecting you."

"I'm not saying this correctly and it's making you angry," he realizes as he sits next to her, leaving a noticable space between them.

"Try again," Amy encourages.

"My entire life, whether I knew it or not, I had been seeking out someone who understood me. I naively thought I only wanted to be understood on an intellectual level... but you understand me at a molecular level... you make love look effortless."

"Trust me, it's not."

"I know it's not effortless or easy. What I'm trying to say is... what I want with you... even more than sex... is this. Physical intimacy like at the window, emotional intimacy like this right now. I want spontanious kisses and cuddling on the couch while we watch tv, I want to cook dinner together or talk with you over tea. That, to me, is even more intimate than sex. That is what I want with you."

"We had that, Sheldon, before you..."

"We are not discussing that. This is about us... about how we move forward."

"Part of moving forward is overcoming the betrayl and insecurities associated with it."

"Insecurities? What..." he questions.

"It took a single droplet of water trailing between her breasts to make you cheat on me, Sheldon. My breasts are nowhere near as... 'perky."

"Your breasts also are not silicon," he points out.

"You're missing the point. I don't feel... sexy enough for you," she admits as she focuses on a small stain of red nail polish upon the worn laminate floor.

"Is that what happened last night? You thought I was comparing you to her?" he wonders.

"Not at first but... later... it was all I could think about."

"I see. At that moment I had only two concerns, calculating the appoximate amount of hot water available for our use and... not embarassing myself... by... prematurely ejaculating," he shyly admits as Amy tries not to laugh at his admission.

"I'm nervous too, Amy," he admits while taking her hand. "For the record, I love your breasts. I love how they fit perfectly into my hands, like they were molded just for me. I love how you arch your back and that cute sound that is somewhere between a moan and a purr..."

"I purr?" she giggles.

"Mmmhmm. It is a sound I find extremely erotic," he confesses. "You turn me on, Amy. I swear to you, I desire you in every way and that most definitely includes your body."

"I thought the sex would be the easy part. Birds do it, bees do it... hormonal teenagers do it. Why can't we?"

"What I did is unforgivable. It's as simple and as complex as that," Sheldon reasons while wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"We keep trying... and we keep talking through it."

"You have yourself a deal, Little Lady. I love you."

"I love you too. Thank you for trying to reassure me. It's... it's difficult right now."

"I know. I'll try to be as patient as you need me to be," he promises.

When metal is heated, one of two things will happen; it will either bond together, becoming even stronger, or it will become brittle and break apart. Sheldon has always thought of himself and Amy as The Shamy, a bonded pair, a matched set, ying and yang, two of a kind. He's realizing now that they are no longer The Shamy, but rather Sheldon and Amy, two seperate entities. That realization has been a long time coming he decides as he reaches for Amy's hand.

As she quickly turns her head to smile at him, he decides that he can't upset her any more today, on Christmas, her favorite holiday. They'll need to discuss if he should go home and let her finish out her European adventure in peace at some point, but today is not the day for that.

As they round the corner into the small yard, Amy hands him the bag containing their breakfast before fishing her keys out of her coat pocket.

"I haven't checked the mail in a few days," she explains.

Hearing a dog barking in the distance, Sheldon turns around to keep guard as Amy collects the mail. She never sees the snowball that hits her in the left butt cheek coming. Quickly turning around as Sheldon laughs at her look of indignition, he starts towards the stairs when a snowball hits him square in the back.

"You're going to regret ever starting a snowball fight with me," she warns.

"I've got the power of physics on my side," Sheldon smugly declares.

Quickly setting the bag of food on the snow covered patio table, Sheldon forms a small snowball and flicks his wrist, making it land at Amy's feet as she giggles at his pathetic attempt.

"That's all you got?" she mocks.

"That's all you got?" he sarcastically replies as yet another snowball hits him in the shoulder.

"You're in trouble, Little Lady," Sheldon warns.

Charging for her, Amy squeals as she quickly darts away from his grasp and is soon hit by a snowball in her shoulder. Three more follow in quick succession, hitting her square in the chest each time as she ducks behind a tree and quickly forms 5 snowballs. Peaking around the tree, she immediately gets pelted in the face with incoming fire.

"That was uncalled for!" she protests while wiping her glasses.

"Sorry, it went high."

"I thought 'the power of physics was on your side?" she teases.

"You can take a penalty shot," he offers while holding his hands up in surrender.

Inside her kitchen, Miss Esme looks out the window at the garden where Sheldon and Amy have been having a snowball fight. Smiling at their playfulness, she places a kitchen towel over her buns and leaves them to rise. The tension between the young couple seems to have resolved itself, she happily notices as Amy rubs a snowball in Sheldon's hair. Turning around as she hears footsteps, she smiles at her favorite customer, Dave Gibbs.

"Don't you ever take a day off?" Dave scolds.

"Christmas, well it is just another day, no? One day like the 364 before it."

"I'm sorry, Esme, I didn't mean any offense."

"Oh, I am not offended, David. Christmas is about finding joy; for me that is baking, for Amy and Sheldon, it is playing in the snow..." she explains as she again looks out the window.

"Truce?" Sheldon questions after Amy rubs the snowball into his hair.

"Deal," Amy agrees.

Gently placing his hands upon her rosy cheeks, Sheldon guides Amy's lips up to meet his. They have rules when it comes to public displays of affection. The Relationship Agreement explicitly states that in public, there shall only be one kiss lasting 2 Mississippi's maximum. As his lips meet hers, his only thought is what a stupid rule.

The pads of his fingers softly caress her cheek as they kiss, trailing their way down the curve of her neck before finally settling on her shoulder as Sheldon pulls her closer into his arms. She can feel the tension leaving his body as they kiss. Resting her arms around his shoulders, she plays with the small hairs at the nape of his neck as he teases her tongue with his own.

"They look happy. Have there been any more... noises?" Esme questions as she turns away from the window to give Sheldon and Amy privacy.

"No, I thought they may have gone on holiday," Dave confesses. "It looks like they may be putting on a show for your patrons though. Her bedroom is over the restaurant, correct?" Dave questions.

"Oui. Oh dear," Esme worries as she glances out the window.

Sheldon is resting his forehead against Amy's as they catch their collective breath. Gently, he brushes her hair away from her mouth before softly kissing her forehead.

Turning towards the dining room, Esme sees that it is filled to capacity. There are several youngsters with their families as well, Esme worries.

"Quick, invite them for breakfast," Esme pleads as she pushes Dave towards the door.

"They have takeout," he points out.

"Then come up with something. There are children present. They do not need to hear a mattress mambo!" Esme exclaims.

"It's not my place," Dave protests. "I have a feeling Amy's response to me asking her to snog now and shag later will be nothing less than a rightous bollocking off."

"It's freezing out here," Sheldon softly complains before pecking Amy's lips once again.

"Mmhmm," Amy agrees before Sheldon kisses her again.

"We can continue this upstairs?" Amy offers between said kisses.

Turning to grab the bag of food in one hand, Sheldon follows Amy into the doorway and up the stairs to the second floor. As she stops at her door to open it, he embraces her and trails kisses down her neck, distracting her from her goal of opening the door.

"Privacy," she warns while tilting her head to force Sheldon's hot lips away from her neck.

That is Amy's warning that he needs to slow down. Taking the hint, Sheldon softly kisses her cheek before putting just enough distance between them to be respectable in public. Turning her head to smile at Sheldon as he rests his hand on the small of her back, she cringes as she hears rapid footsteps along the creaky old stairs and Sheldon jerks his hand away as if scalded, quickly shoving it into his coat pocket as Dave appears.

"Merry Christmas," Dave wishes them as he beelines for his apartment.

"Merry Christmas," Amy replies as she opens the door and leads the way inside.

Closing the door, Sheldon takes the food containers to the counter and is happily surprised when he feels Amy wrap her arms around his waist.

"Is this alright?" she softly questions.

"Of course," he reassures. "Would you like my sausage?" Sheldon questions.

He's surprised by Amy's snort as she attempts to hold back her laughter at his unintentionally dirty question. Turning around, he silently raises an eyebrow, asking her what's so funny.

"Dirty mind," she explains.

"What's so dirty about asking if you wanted... oh. Um.. I didn't mean..."

"I know. I don't want to force anything simply because it's Christmas, but I'm not going to fight it either. Let's just... leave it up to fate... see what happens."

"Okay. Tell me immediately if it's too much?" he questions.

"I will. Um... we have condoms right? You purchased more?"

"I did. There are several stratigically hidden around the apartment," he reassures.

"Really? Where?" she questions.

"Well, in the kitchen, there's one hidden in your blackberry tea box; in the living room, I placed one in between the pages of your "French for Idiots" book, there is one in the DVD case for "Forrest Gump," and one in your backpack. In the bedroom, I hid several in my suitcase..." he explains, before being cut off by Amy's lips roughly crashing into his.

With an "mmph," Sheldon quickly regains his balance as he wraps his arms around Amy and takes control of the kiss, slowing it to a gentle but still passionate pace. He'll need to take his time with Amy in order to prevent another panic attack. For now, the bedroom is off limits. The kiss ends as quickly as it began, with Amy being the one to pull back. Breathless, she places her hand on Sheldon's cheek before pecking his lips again. Turning towards the food, she grabs one of the previously offered sausage links and tosses it onto her plate.

"I'm going to make toast. Would you like some?" Amy questions as Sheldon retrieves the milk from the fridge.

"Was that a euphenism?" Sheldon questions.

"Um, no," Amy replies as she gets the bread from the cupboard. "Please explain why you thought that?"

"Raj and Howard once had a discussion about euphenisms."

"Ah. I have never heard that one."

"I'm going to get a tray of puffs in the oven. Go ahead and eat," Sheldon explains as he removes his coat before turning on the sink to wash his hands.

She has to get the idea of surprising Sheldon by waking him up on Christmas morning with his mother's ring on her finger out of her mind, Amy quickly decides as she watches Sheldon move about the kitchen. Sure they love each other and marriage is definitely the end game, but they have several issues they still need to work through first. Rushing anything right now is reckless and ill advised. She's being silly, Amy decides. It's simply because it's Christmas Eve and she wants that romantic fairytale story to make Penny and Bernadette jealous. That's not a good reason to throw caution to the wind.

Sheldon makes quick work of forming the first batch of puffs and gets them in the oven before joining her on the couch. She hasn't touched her breakfast, he worries.

"Do you not like your food?" he questions while setting his plate next to hers.

"I was just waiting for you," she explains while picking up her plate.

"Oh. You didn't need to."

"I wanted to, Sheldon. Thank you for playing in the snow with me."

"You're welcome and I am sorry about the rogue snowball."

"I know. How many trays do you have left to bake?" she wonders.

"2 more. We also need to decorate the gingerbread houses, but I csn barely keep my eyes open," he admits between bites.

"You can have the bed. I'll take the couch," she offers.

"Oh. Um... did I..."

"No, no. You didn't do anything wrong, Sheldon, I promise.I just think it's wise if we don't share a bed right now."

"I don't understand," he admits.

"We're exhausted and emotional and... for me at least... well I'm... kissing you so intimately it... it did things to me..."

"Dirty things?" Sheldon huskily questions as he turns to look at her.

"Mmmhmm," she admits. When Sheldon smiles, she asks, "That makes you happy?"

"It's progress. That makes me happy," he confirms.


Thank you for your continued support!