My dear little broccolis πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š

πŸ’š So remember that this pic is RATED M, and it is not only for the sexy times. Some dark moments will be approached in this story, and they can trigger some people. This is a fair warning to remind you that this story sets place in a dark world, which means it is bound to mountains dark themes.

Love, Mina πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š

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Chapter 54: Les Gondoles Γ  Venise (2,6K)

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πŸ’š FIRST OF ALL, my thoughts go to everyone across the world. This is a difficult time for us all, and I hope none of you or your closed ones is affected. I am not a doctor, nor a politician but don't fall into panic and just respect the security measures. Be as clean, if not cleaner than usual. Eat healthy food. And look after yourself and your loved ones. Stay indoors as much as possible, until we can do something about this terrible disease that is striking us all. Those are the times to look for one another and not be selfish. I know this sounds corny, but after seeing people buying 15 packs of toilet rolls and fighting for yet another, I just feel that we're missing out on what really matters. This virus doesn't discriminate and doesn't tire. We should fight against it, not against our peers for an extra pack of toilet rolls …

πŸ’š Anyway, enjoy this chapter and its fluffiness, because well, I enjoyed writing it, haha

πŸ’š By the way, Les Gondoles A Venise is actually a French song πŸ˜‰

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Christian's PoV

Their trip to Italy was so far Christian's favourite. Ana loved history, and just like she did in Paris and Tokyo, she made them go through all the historical places, barely giving them rest. it didn't seem to matter to her that she already came to Italy several times with her father, she seemed to enjoy it nonetheless as if it was her first time.

They had landed in Rome, and stayed there for only two days, up from dawn till dusk, visiting the old landmarks that witnessed the passage of time. Christian listened to Ana as she told him all about the history of each monument they visited and watched her being excited about the smallest thing, like throwing a coin in the Fountain of Trevi. But all those small things weren't what made Christian like this trip more than any other he had with Ana.

What made him like this particular holiday was how free he felt. For the first time, he did not check constantly if someone was behind him, tailing Ana and him. Mostly because he didn't care. Ana and he had been together for more than a year and a half, and most importantly, he was about to propose to the girl. In his mind, there was no way he would keep their relationship a secret after that. Whether it was from Raymond or the rest of the world, once they would be engaged, they would be an official item.

During his first morning in Italy, whilst still, in Rome, Christian took the design of the ring to a jeweller and asked for the ring to be ready for a week after. This was something he had thought a lot about. Ana loved romantic gestures, and she had told him more than once how much she liked the charm bracelet and how each charm had a particular meaning to them. Which was why Christian had decided that for their Italian trip, he would not buy her a charm, but simply give her the ring. After all, this was something she would keep on wearing, and he was sure that she would appreciate the significance of the gesture.

But still, that was not the issue of the moment.

After two days in Rome, Ana had expressed her desire to go to the Vatican and made Christian go to mess with her (to Christian's greatest displeasure). Though he respected her faith, he still had problems grasping the fact that she would rely blindly on a higher power that never gave her proof of Its existence. She marvelled at the splendour of the place and even tried to explain to Christian the different kind of Christianities, but she soon dropped the issue when she figured that Christian only listened to please her.

After a quick day at the Vatican, Ana had decided to settle in Venice for she knew the carnival would take place there. At the moment, they were in a gondola, holding hands while the gondolier was singing classical Italian music. Though Ana seemed mesmerised by watching the city and its old architecture, Christian on the other end could not take his eyes away from her. It was the first time he was seeing her so happy, and at this precise moment, he would do anything to keep her happy smile on her face.

Without really thinking about it, he leant forward and kissed her right behind her ear, making her flush and giggle, before she scooped closer to him and taught him a bit more about the history of Venice. She seemed particularly interested in one building and told Christian that her grandparents had had their honeymoon in Venice, and could remember how many stairs there was on the front of that building. She hoped to be able to tell the same tale to her own grandchildren.

When they got off the gondola, they were approached by an artist who spoke really fast Italian and showed them a picture of them. From what Christian gathered, the artist thought that they were such a beautiful couple that he couldn't not draw them. Of course, this made Christian roll his eyes - he could recognise a smooth talker when he saw one- but it made Ana swoon, and she paid for the drawing immediately.

The drawing was rather good and accurate, and Christian had to admit that the street artist had some talent. It was of the two of them in the gondola, Christian was looking at Ana as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world, and (to Christian's delight) the artist had perfectly well captured Ana's beautiful smile.

The rest of the day went rather smoothly, with the only hiccup to Christian being that Ana had dragged them to a costume shop for them to participate in the carnival the following day. This was actually one of those things Christian knew he only did for Ana's benefit. He doubted he would ever be that compliant to anyone else … or maybe their children when they would have some.

It was only in the middle of the night that something started to feel wrong to Christian. He was sleeping, but he could tell something was not right. Aware that he still did not have his full five hours of sleep, he stirred a little, reaching for Ana to go back to sleep. But the space next to him was empty. Before he could even register this information, he was up on his feet, reaching for his gun on the nightstand, and he saw a faint light coming from under the door leading to the next room.

With his gun still secured in his hand and ready to shoot, he noiselessly opened the door, only to find Ana sitting on the love seat, facing the window and watching blindly at the horizon. Without a word, he strode to her, hiding his gun in the back of his trousers and concerned by her sudden relocation. It was only when he called out for her name that Ana took notice of his presence, startled out of her sombre thoughts as she weakly smiled,

"Sorry, I did not mean to wake you up."

"Something wrong?" He asked as he knelt in front of her to be at her level. She turned her head, trying to escape his gaze, but when he rested his hands upon hers, she admitted

"I … it's just that … sometimes … I wonder how things would have gone if we had started our relationship differently."

This made Christian frown. He didn't like that she was questioning their relationship like that. Even though she had been the one who insisted for them to be in the closet, she still had wanted this relationship, she actually had been really scared that Christian wanted to end things when his parents came in the picture. So why was she questioning them like that all of the sudden? Especially when they had had such a great time together?

"I don't," Christian firmly affirmed. Ana's eyes gleamed with surprise and curiousness, and so he gently squeezed her hand before telling her,

"This allowed me to see a side of you that only I know of. I am sure that no one else but me knows those tiny little things about you. Like how you hide your worry with a smile, or how you twitch your nose when you want to cry, or even how you always sleep better on your left side. I don't think that even your father knows that about you.

And … as for me. You got to see me in a light no one else has ever seen me. I know that I am not the most expressing and demonstrative man out here, but you got to see something that only you saw. When you are not around, I am a much colder and sterner person. You are the only one who ever gets to see me without the mask, and I don't regret it for a second."

She smiled, but Christian could tell that her heart was not a hundred per cent in it. So he picked her up, and sat on the love seat, making her straddle him. then, he gently caressed her left cheek, waiting for her to look back at him, and when she did, it seemed that she wanted to say something. He kept on waiting when she finally asked,

"Would you quit your job for me?"

Though he kept his face unreadable, Christian had to admit that he was taken aback by this question. This was the one thing he had never expected of Ana. Maybe because she was Raymond's daughter, and therefore marked for life into this lifestyle, or maybe because she had told him many months ago that she wouldn't want him to quit his job for her.

And still, for a second he considered the possibility. He considered leaving this life he excelled at behind, just because she would have asked him to. He considered the nine to five honest job that would make him a pawn in the society. But there was one problem,

"I wouldn't, Ana. I like being who I am, I like the job, no matter the ups and the downs. This is who I am, no matter how much you wish it wasn't the case. And I know you want me to pretend otherwise, to pretend that I only do it because I have to, but I've always been honest to you. I like being in the position I am.

Moreover, me quitting the life wouldn't mean that you or our family would be any safer. On the contrary. No one would be able to protect us but ourselves. This job is not a regular job where you can hand your resignation and people forget about you. Once you've been in it, you're scarred for life. And it goes the same for you, because of who your father is."

He watched her look down, trying to hide her disappointment and her sadness. Christian scooped her closer to him and tried to make her see things his way by giving her a similar choice, "Would you chose me over your father?"

She looked at him with panic. This was obviously something that she had thought of several times, and a question that was still unanswered to her. And he couldn't blame her. Raymond was the only family she had left. Her mother and brother had died long ago, and over the last year, she had lost both her grandparents. Raymond was her only blood relative left.

"I would," He told her. He did not have the same connection to Raymond that she had. "Without hesitation, I would choose you over anyone. You are the most important thing in my life, Ana. I would rather lose Raymond than lose you. I would rather lose a friend a mentor, make myself a powerful enemy than lose you.."

She searched in his eyes, probably gauging his honesty and when she seemed satisfied by what she saw, she finally seemed to relax and she leant froward to kiss him on the lips. Christian eagerly responded, happy to have put her worries aside, though Jose's words echoed somewhere in his mind 'I don't think Ana would be convinced by anything you would say. She would be more of a gestures kind of girl'. So, had she been convinced by his words? And if not, what could he say to convince her?

But he was taken out of his thoughts by Ana wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder as she told him, "I'm sorry, I don't know what took over me."

"Don't. Even though I am not the most open person in the world, don't ever doubt that you can tell me whats on your mind."

Even though he could no longer see her face, he knew that she had just smiled, and she said,

"It's just that … I always worry that you're going to get killed. Which is weird, because I don't worry about Dad that much."

Though he didn't say a word, Christian didn't think it was weird. In truth, he thought it was normal. Ana grew up with that image of her father as a strong and powerful man. And even though she knew he was just a man, a part of her probably thought of her father as invincible.

And after all, even though Raymond had already been shot, Ana never actually knew about it, whereas she had seen Christian just after he came back from the dead. And even though he hid his scar with a tattoo, that did not erase the fear from her memory.

Without knowing how to reassure her, Christian simply held the girl he loved tighter in his arms. He strongly inhaled her scent, before reminding her,

"Me working a different job wouldn't prevent me from being possibly harmed, or killed. This is one of the things you cant control in life, and you shouldn't start worrying too much about it. Enjoy the moments you have, instead of living in the what ifs."

Ana leant back to look at him, and Christian witnessed with his own eyes how Ana passed from sad to happy in a split second. If there was something he missed from the beginning of their relationship was how Ana had not been able to conceal her emotions before. Now, she was a master at it.

"Why are we even talking about that? We're here on holiday to have a good time. Let's go back to bed. I want to be all rested tomorrow for the carnival."

She got up and Christian followed her back to their bed. But as she spooned against him, Christian's mind was racing. After the carnival, they would go back to Rome where he would pick up the ring, and then be able to propose to her.

He knew he was not going to do something extravagant like Ryan, no matter how much Suzie had appreciated the proposal. He thought of a romantic dinner back in New York, or casually leaving the ring for her to find it, but after their conversation, another way to propose popped in his mind. Something that would reassure Ana.

And still, even though he was sure of his feelings for Ana, even though he was sure that Ana would love the ring, he couldn't help but feel anxious about popping the question. Finally, he understood Ryan's nervousness when it had been his turn to propose.

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πŸ’šYour thoughts and opinions are always welcomedπŸ’š

πŸ’šSo, before anyone starts jumping on my throat, Christian's views on religion are ONLY his. He is a fictional character who doesn't believe. I myself am a religious person, and I do believe in God, but I know we live in a world where people don't and don't understand that concept. Christian is one of those people. I am not attacking or judging anyone, I am just reflecting on how Christian feels in this story.

~ Anyway, question time:

πŸ’šSo Christian is proposing next chapter. How do you think he's going to do it?

πŸ’š What do you think of Ana in this chapter?

πŸ’š And what do you think of Christian's words about Ana being his first choice? Do you believe him?

πŸ’š What do you think will happen next?

πŸ’šWhat was your favourite part?

Anyway, E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, everything else is mine.

Love, MinaπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š