Chapter 9
Oldish- I low key love Tim too! I was sitting here at work, trying to get this chapter started when what do I hear from the other room? The Outsiders. Guess this chapter will be delayed a little bit. I just can't help myself. Ya'll can thank my shift partner for this one.
(Pony)
"Soda, do you have bees inside you?"
Soda stopped pacing mid-step and blinked at me. "Wha- What Ponyboy?"
"Do you have bees inside of you? Is that why you can't sit still?"
He stayed looking at me, eyebrows drawing together to make little frown lines that crossed his forehead. The lines didn't suit him. He was meant to look happy all the time.
"Kid's out of it." Tim spoke, breaking the silence from where he leaned by the door. A burning cigarette dangled from his lips. If the light wasn't so good I could have mistaken him for Dally.
Soda glanced at him, dipping his head just a little in acknowledgment.
I wasn't out of it. I didn't think. Well, maybe I was a little confused, but it seemed real important that I ask Soda about the bees right then, when he was pacing the room and barely containing his pent up energy. Maybe I hadn't asked him right. I don't know, my thoughts were all mixed up. But I wanted to know if that's how he felt the thrumming inside of him too.
The bed dipped as Sodapop sat down, resting his hand on my leg. His eyes were soft and shiny when he looked at me.
He sighed. "No, Pony, I ain't got bees inside of me."
He was sad, I could tell.
I had the feeling he was sad because of me. But I didn't know what I had done to make him that way. Maybe it was cause I'd asked him about the bees.
The corner of his mouth twitched as he tried halfheartedly to smile, but the gesture didn't wipe away the pained expression in his eyes.
He sounded defeated. The way he looked at me, I could almost feel his heart squeezin' painfully in his chest.
"You should go to sleep now Ponyboy." Soda's hand lightly patted my leg as he spoke.
"I'm not tired," I argued, trying to suppress the yawn that escaped at the most inconvenient time. So much for fooling him.
He laughed. "Yeah, I can see that. Go to sleep, Pone. Darry will be here soon, and he wants to see you awake today."
Wasn't it early for Darry to be off? Maybe it wasn't. Maybe my time was messed up too. Maybe I was just too tired to think straight.
I hadn't seen Darry in a couple of days. Not because he hadn't been here after work, but cause I'd slept the whole time he was here and he'd refused to wake me.
I yawned again. "I don't want to sleep anymore, Soda. All I do is sleep."
"Yeah, and the doctor said that's normal and good for your head." He gently rapped my forehead, laughing as my eyes crossed when I tried to watch his hand coming all the way in. "Go to sleep so you can be awake when Darry gets here. Don't you leave me by myself again, okay? I got something important to tell you later."
I wondered what it was, but I was too tired to stay awake and find out.
I yawned again, knowing I'd be out as soon as I closed my eyes. "Okay, Soda, I'll try real hard…" but I couldn't even finish the words before I was asleep.
(Soda)
"I'll try real hard…"
His words reminded me of those he'd spoken in a hazy sleep the night before.
"I tried to fight back, Soda. I swear I did."
Glory Pony, it ain't your fault this happened. It's mine. You're breaking my heart kid.
I stared at his face for just a moment more. He had always looked young, but it was especially obvious when he was sleeping. He looked so innocent. So childlike.
A shuffling sound made me look towards the door, and I remembered that Tim was waiting for me to talk to him.
He was watching us with a strange look in his eyes. They flicked back and forth from Pony to me.
"He still gets confused when he gets tired." I waved my hand towards Ponyboy. For some reason I felt the need to apologize for him.
"He must be tired all the time, then. Kid's been out of it since I got here." He pulled a pack of smokes from his pocket and lit a new one. I didn't know what to say, and after a minute he shrugged and knocked a bit of ash to the floor.
Leave it to Tim to state the obvious.
Pony wasn't himself. We all saw it. But we pretended it wasn't happening.
"The doc said it will get better." Probably, I told myself. The doc said it will probably get better, with time and rest.
The way he slanted his eyes told me he didn't believe me, but he nodded and pulled on his cigarette again, leaning his head back against the wall and letting the smoke curl around him.
He really did look like a hood. But he hadn't hesitated to come when I said I needed help.
His eyes drilled into mine, and I was suddenly glad that this hood was on our side.
"So, what's the plan, Curtis?"
(Pony)
Sometimes I get caught in that place between sleep and being awake. I'm not fully asleep, but I still have odd, hazy dreams while hearing people talk around me.
I suppose that's what was happening now, cause I could hear bits of people talking through the haze but I couldn't answer them. The words twisted in and out of my mind, filtered through dreams of the gang and a never-ending walk to see a Paul Newman movie. Every time I thought I was close to catchin' up with them, they'd turn a corner and I'd be left behind.
I tried to focus on the words and wake up. I wanted to pull myself out of the haze, was tired of sleeping, but it was like trying to catch the gang, every time I got close somethin' pulled me back into the darkness.
A familiar voice said something that I couldn't understand, but I had the feeling it was something important.
Soda's voice filtered through the dark and I grasped at it, hoping he could help pull me back to the surface.
"…I want him, Tim. Not you, not Curly, not the gang. Me…"
He was angry. Why was he angry? Each word was bitten short and I could picture him, muscles tense, standing like he was ready to spring. I knew his hands would curl into fists at his side, and his normally soft eyes would be sharp and dangerous.
It didn't happen often, but I knew an angry Soda was a dangerous one. I needed to wake up, to calm him down.
The familiar voice answered him, and I finally recognized it as Tim Shepard's. It was low, angry, threatening.
"Just give me his name, Sodapop. I will find him."
Their voices faded then, and the darkness threatened to overtake me once again. I fought it, trying to focus on Soda's words. I needed to know what was happening.
His voice was distant, but I heard enough to make my blood run cold.
"…James Clark. A little taller than me. Same build. Blonde hair and blue eyes."
I could almost feel Tim nod, then he said, "You know what it could cost you. Are you willing to risk it?"
I desperately wanted to hear Soda's answer. I wanted to tell him that fighting wasn't worth it, that I just needed him with me...that it wasn't his fault. But I couldn't fight the pull of the dream, and the rest of their conversation was lost to me.
A door slammed, but I wasn't ready to be awake yet, so I ignored it and kept my eyes closed. Soda must've been sitting next to me, cause I felt him shift as he harshly whispered. "Don't slam the door!"
Just like home.
"Sorry." Two Bit answered. But he was loud and didn't sound very sorry.
"Kid still sleepin'? Don't he ever wake up?" I knew the voice as Steve's. I wished he would shut up and let me sleep some more instead of coming in here and bothering me when I didn't feel good. It was his fault I was sick anyway. He should be more considerate.
"He was up earlier," Soda spoke, "but he was talking all funny. Asking me if I had bees inside me or something."
"Oh." Steve and Two Bit spoke at once and I could feel the air in the room deflate with their voices.
Oh yeah, the bees. That had upset Sodapop, I remembered. But there had been something else too. Something that had happened after that. Something I'd forgotten. It seemed important, and for a minute I struggled to remember. But the memory hung just on the edge of my mind, and I couldn't grasp it. That seemed to have happened a lot since I'd first waked up, so I gave up trying to remember what it was that had happened. I was still tired, and decided I could just fall back to sleep. I was almost there when Two Bit's voice broke the silence.
"Darry back from court yet?"
From court?
I was fully awake in an instant.
"Darry went to court?"
Sodapop jumped at the sound of my voice and turned away from Two Bit and Steve.
"You awake now Pone? How you feeling?"
I shrugged off the dull headache that seemed to always be there now. "I'm fine. Darry went to court? What for?"
Soda glanced to Two Bit and Steve before turning to look back at me. "That's what I was gonna tell you. Remember I said I had to tell you something important?"
I nodded. Surprisingly, I did remember.
"He went for our custody hearing."
Why hadn't they told me before? Why did they wait until it was happening? What was happening?
Oh God, I couldn't go back.
Not now.
Not after I'd been back with my brothers.
"You don't think they'll send us back, do ya Soda?" I could feel the tears beginning to sting my eyes, so I blinked them away before Steve or Two Bit could see. "They'll send us home for sure, right?"
"Oh, Pony…" He was reaching for me, pulling me to his chest when the door opened.
It was Darry, and he was crying.
