Let Your Love Go
The soft hum of the Zephyr's engines helped everyone to relax. Davis breathed a sigh of relief gazing at the star filled night sky from the cockpit. He actually smiled without comment at Piper's gentle pat on his shoulder as she moved past monitoring all circuits in the command center. Coulson had spoken with them earlier, giving coordinates that he said would lead them to a safety house somewhere northern most tip of the Michigan, just where it stretched out into Lake Superior. The young pilot set the plane on auto and leaned back with a long stretch. It would be a few hours before they reached the destination. The fact that the location seemed to over water was not going to disrupt this bit of solace. If things calmed down enough May would take over and he could get some much needed sleep. But for now the clear sky, the functional cloaking program and that gentle engine buzz was enough.
xx
Jemma smiled as she took the stethoscope from her ears and rested it on her shoulders. Her patient was sleeping soundly and breathing normally, on her own. She pulled the blanket over Daisy and flicked off the overhead light. Immediately a soft blue glow illuminated the area. The doctor moved quietly across the small room and left leaving the door slightly ajar. She turned and stormed across the room.
"She's fine. Other than her present...condition," she evil-eyed May and Coulson, "she is perfectly nor…healthy." The young doctor amended her diagnosis with another narrow eyed look.
May breathed a sigh of relief. Coulson offered a thin smile. Neither offered an explanation. Jemma grit her teeth to hold her temper. She simply waited, hoping one or both would take the subtle hint.
Coulson let out a soft breath over his bottom lip. "We only want to do this once…so we'll need the entire team."
"I'm not leaving her alone." May snarled, protectively.
"Then bring them here." Coulson nodded, tapping the table with his index finger.
xx
Mack let out a 'wooo' sigh and ran a hand over his head. "That has to be…no...just one more act in this circus." It was hard to tell if he was amused or frustrated by the whole thing.
"Amazing," Fitz breathed, watching his friend sleep through the observation window. "And no record of any of his data…" He was disappointed.
"This doctor…this Lee…" Jemma started.
"Liu," Coulson corrected quietly.
Jemma let out a huff and continued. "You weren't even there when he…he…"
"Used that damn helmet to send her back," May finished with a harsh growl.
"Then you don't even know if that is her. They could have done anything with both of you already gone." Jemma growled back.
Coulson shook his head. "Liu was more interested in his theories than any funny stuff."
"You said she absorbed the quaking…isn't that enough?" Elena proposed.
Jemma shook her palm toward the softly lit room adjacent to theirs. "This…this is biologically impossible…it just cannot…it's practically ridiculous."
Fitz laughed under his breath. "After all we've seen in the last few months I don't know how anything could be impossible or ridiculous."
"They've been hopping back and forth like some kind of spaced out rabbits." Mack chuckled.
"Never knew who we were dealing with," Fitz agreed.
"And Dr. Liu managed to somehow track all of that movement." Coulson continued to explain. "Never got the chance to ask him how but the why of it has to do with that Everett person." He spoke directly to Fitz.
"Hugh? Hugh Everett?" Fitz was intrigued.
Coulson gave a small shrug. "Seems the guy worked with Liu."
"The man died in 1982. The technology didn't exist and from what you've described it certainly didn't exist there." Fitz argued.
"He claims they worked together when he was a young man, that Everett was his mentor and disappeared during some simulation experiment thing." Coulson retold Liu's story.
"The man graduated from Princeton in '55." Fitz shook his head. "He had some advanced theories but there was no way he could have experimented with anything at that point."
"They were experimenting there." May added. "This Everett guy made himself the guinea pig and disappeared. Liu figured he died doing it."
"You said yourself, time moves differently there." Elena reminded the young physicist.
"We all lived a lifetime in the blink of an eye in that hell, AIDA created." Mack snarled.
"But that's using twenty-first century technology," Fitz argued holding out a mittened hand. "Not to mention that bloody Darkhold blasphemy." He spat.
"Look, Fitz," Coulson meant to calm everyone. "We're not saying it was the same guy, just telling all of you what Liu claimed."
"And none of it is explaining that." Jemma cocked her head toward the patient in the next room.
"He said he'd been collecting HBM from both Daisy and Skye every time they moved back and forth, even created a midway point where they could stop between here and there." Coulson tried to explain to her.
"Weird place," May actually shivered. "I'll never use the term 'nowhere' without thinking of it."
"HBM?" Fitz wondered with a frown, "high bandwidth memory?"
Coulson shook his head. "Human Biological Material," he smiled. Then added, "I asked."
"D N A," Jemma nodded. "He was collecting their DNA?" She seemed appalled. "For what purpose?"
Coulson turned up one side of his mouth and shrugged. "Never got to that part."
"Probably some Radcliffe mojo had him building another hellbot." Mack grumbled. "Just what we need…" He shook his head. Elena wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
Fitz had paced across the room several times. He stopped and shook his head. "No…no, Mack…I don't think that was his plan…" He rubbed his bandaged hand on his chin. "He could have been collecting the data because Daisy and Skye were the only people able to move back and forth." He held up a hand before Coulson could protest. "Not like you and May," he nodded toward the woman. "They moved as separate beings, apart from avatars. He might have been attempting to ascertain the reason."
"He did say the data he collected was so similar it was almost impossible to tell who it belonged to and that he used it to create this helmet thing." Coulson added. "Said it would only work with Skye…"
"He meant to send a child as some untested experimental subject?" Jemma was livid.
May shook her head. "He claimed he planned to wait for her to grow up. He was pretty sure she'd be willing to work with him." Suddenly that did not sound like such a good idea. What if she didn't?
"That's why he said it would only work with Daisy…the HB…DNA thing." Coulson finished his statement.
"He explained all of this to all of you." Jemma was exasperated. Coulson and May nodded.
"Said she might be different if she took what he called this risk," Coulson let out in a sigh.
"Temporarily," May added.
Jemma set her hands on her hips. "Well I think we can dispense with 'might'." She let out a frustrated sigh, but seemed less agitated. "Just how temporary is this?" She and May glanced toward the next room.
"He wasn't sure." Coulson replied, rising and moving toward the door. He stopped and turned back to the group. "She could be back to her self by morning." He smiled hopefully.
"Or sometime after next Christmas," May snarled.
"How do you know it won't take years?" Jemma asked quietly.
"We don't," Coulson sighed. "But it doesn't matter. This is the new normal," he looked at Daisy sleeping peacefully on the opposite side of the small window. "Again," he sighed.
May slid her hand inside of his and rested her head on his shoulder. Mack motioned to Elena that they should leave. She smiled wistfully and stood to join him. They both nodded to Fitz-Simmons as they exited. Fitz patted Jemma's hand ignoring the slight sting in his own. He knew she would stay. Despite the young doctor's objections, she would not leave her patient.
xx
Davis set the plane down in a large field with no fear of being discovered. They'd scanned the area for miles and found no sign of life other than that considered to be wild. The cloaking remained while the team took time to inventory what they'd managed to salvage from what was left of the crumbling Playground. They also managed a quick meal and some much needed rest.
Mack theorized the integrity of the base was finally compromised leading to it dropping into the bowels of the city. It took with it every bit of tech, data, research and personal belongings they'd managed to accumulate over the years. Fitz located a lighthouse slightly more than a mile from their location. It looked to be vacant, but they'd check that tomorrow. Today was for resting and regrouping.
"Well," Jemma smiled. "There's no reason to keep you here any longer. I'd say you're fine."
Daisy sat at the end of the bed and stared down at her feet. "I don't feel so fine."
Jemma patted her knee. "You're just…different." She smiled. "You've been different before."
Daisy spread her hands wide. "Yeah? Not this different…this is just…too different different." She thrust out a hand and watched as a small glass of cotton swabs jiggled on the table a few feet away. "Damn," she snarled. "I don't even have my different."
Jemma stopped placing instruments in their place and smiled again. "You probably shouldn't use that kind of language for a bit, Daisy. It doesn't really fit your present…condition." She shrugged at the loss of a better way to describe it.
"He said it would be temporary," Daisy sulked. "I was hoping for super temporary."
"Yes, well we don't always get what we hope for, now do we." Jemma sounded much too patronizing.
Daisy narrowed her eyes in reply. Then went quiet, watching Jemma continue to tidy the room. "How do you think it will happen?" She spoke just above a whisper. "You think I'll just explode like Banner busting out of my clothes?" Her tone was a bit shaky.
Jemma put a hand to her mouth, unable to stifle the giggle. "All green and angry," she snickered, clawing at the air.
"S'not funny!" Daisy protested with a fine pout.
"Perhaps a fine shade of violet," Jemma could not resist teasing as she continued her work.
Daisy sent a wimpy shock wave knocking the tray Jemma held from her hand to the floor. It landed with a clang.
Jemma stood with her mouth agape for a second before turning on her friend. "Oh, that was just lovely." She scolded.
Daisy wobbled her head with a smarty-pants smile. Jemma stared until both broke into a fit of giggles.
"Well, there's no doubt it's you." Jemma grinned then turned serious. "But, I have no idea how it will happen. Perhaps it will be like terragenesis."
Daisy curled up her lip. "Damn! Not that chrysalis shit again….been there done that." She raised an eyebrow, "TWICE!" She finished, holding up two fingers.
Jemma pursed her lips. "Really, Daisy the language just doesn't work when you're…" she looked the girl up and down, "like this."
"Doesn't work for me either," May commented. She leaned against the doorframe with arms crossed over her chest. "You sound like a street smart delinquent." She raised her own eyebrow.
Daisy slid off the table and stood in front of the woman. "I'm not a child, May." She snarled.
"Maybe not in here," May tapped the girl's forehead. "But the rest of you?" She raised both brows and held up her palms.
Daisy sneered and planted her arms over her chest. Jemma snickered at the scene. May looked to her and then back to her very young daughter.
"I'm starting to understand Melinda's objections, so until you're about this big," she held a hand slightly above her head, "let's tone it down." Daisy let out a disgusted huff and plopped her arms over her chest with just a bit more emphasis. May smiled. "And while you're at it, you can lose the attitude."
"Why should I?" Daisy spoke before she could contain the thought. She wore defiance like armor. It had been her only defense all those years ago and it wormed its way out of wherever she had pushed it. It rarely worked, but if she refused to show fear all those bossy people usually backed away.
May tilted her head to one side and looked at the firm set of Daisy's jaw. She looked to Jemma who gave a tiny 'it's in your court now' look and bit her lip.
"Well," May spoke in her most quietly calm intimidating voice. She held up one finger, "one…because I am your mother and," she held up a second finger, "two…because a certain part of you anatomy will definitely be violet if it continues." She stood back and raised her brows. "Do I make myself clear?"
Daisy drew a breath and sucked in her bottom lip. A dozen smart remarks swirled in her head, but she bit that lip to keep them locked in place. Part of her head told her to calm down, take a breath and think…the other part wanted to scream, jump up and down and tell May she was a big, dumb…. She squeezed her eyes tight and shook her head to clear the crazy thoughts.
"No?" May questioned.
"Yes," Daisy answered. "You're clear. I get it."
But she didn't really and she knew it. She was close to tears, to just bursting out into a full bawling mess. Everything in her head was crashing into everything in her head. It didn't hurt but it made her want to just throw herself on the floor and throw some kind of wacko tantrum. She felt her breath coming faster and had to get away…far away.
"I'm sorry," she blurted out before dropping her arms, skirting around May and dashing from the room.
xx
Daisy sat at the edge of the plane's ramp, kicking at the high grass below it. She was impressed at the fact Dr. Liu's program had shrunk her clothes along with her body. She intended to mention that to Fitz just in case he had any more bright ideas. Well, that's not what she meant but that's what her thoughts said. It didn't help to shake it off. More and more those thoughts sounded more childish than she intended. And the thought of becoming a kid both inside and out terrified her. Daisy Johnson Skye Mary Sue Poots…was a rotten kid, a really rotten kid and she didn't want anyone to meet that version of her. The version that didn't fit, the version that rubbed everyone the wrong way and sent her back time and time, even if it was to protect her.
She didn't react when she felt the soft footsteps approaching. She quickly swiped the tears from her cheeks and drew a fast breath.
"Feeling better?" May asked, standing just a bit behind her.
She looked to the toes of the woman's boots, swallowed and nodded once.
"Mind if I sit?" May's voice was quiet and soft.
Daisy shook her head, cleared her throat and croaked, "n-no" hesitantly. She shuffled a bit to the right.
May slipped down beside her, folding her hands in her lap. She gazed out at the pastoral scene. It was a far cry from the snow covered landscape they'd escaped from hours ago. The sun was bright and warm and the field covered with a myriad of wild flowers. The only sound was the birds that more than likely were complaining about the strange machine that had invaded their paradise.
"Pretty," May remarked.
Daisy hadn't really noticed. First she was too mad and now…well, now she wasn't even sure. 'Pretty' wasn't something she'd ever heard May use unless it was 'pretty stupid' or 'pretty damn stupid'. She glanced over at the women without turning her head. May was just looking out at nothing.
"I'm sorry." Daisy swallowed.
"So you said," May replied. "Me too."
Daisy almost nodded then looked at the woman. "Huh? Wha…you…for wha…" she stumbled over her surprise.
May leaned forward and wrapped her hands around the lip of the ramp. She kicked her feet at the weeds and looked out over the field. She shrugged and spoke to the air. "I'm new at this mother stuff. Guess I'm not that good at it."
The pain in Daisy's chest was frightening. She took a few quick breaths. "I…I don't think your that bad."
"Thanks," May chuckled.
"Anyway," Daisy sighed. "I'm a pretty rotten kid. I'm not Skye…well, not the Skye from there." She tilted her head to the left as if there was another place to indicate.
"You look an awful lot like her." May smiled, still not looking at the girl. "Had Simmons fooled."
"Just on the outside, maybe." Daisy shrugged, ignoring the Simmons comment. "Skye was…well, she was cute and cuddly and just a good kid. I'm not her."
May gently butted the girl with her shoulder. "I think you're pretty cute." Daisy didn't react. May took a deep breath and turned taking one of the girl's hands in her own. "Look, I don't expect you to be Skye or anyone else for that matter. We're both going to have to make a few adjustments for a while."
Daisy stared at their hands. She remembered how Melinda and Skye's hands fit together so perfectly. Part of her felt a feeling that was unfamiliar but something she longed for so desperately it scared her. She wanted to pull away. It was better that way, make yourself unwanted and it doesn't hurt when they don't want you. Damn, where did that come from…she tried to tug her hand free but May held tightly.
"You can't…" Daisy started.
"Can't what?" May asked softly, taking the little girl's other hand and holding them both. Daisy shook her head, unable to answer. "Look at me, Daisy." She spoke again and again the child shook her head. May put one finger under Daisy's chin and turned her head lifting it to look her in the eye. "What can't I do?" She half whispered.
Daisy squeezed her eyes shut and felt the tears squish out and run down the outside of her cheeks. "Have a kid like I was…l-lo…" she shook her head again.
"Love you?" May smiled. "Oh, bao bei, it is too late for that. I've loved you forever, never stopped."
"You didn't know me." Daisy sniffled, relaxing her hands in May's. She stared at them rather than look May in the eye. "And now…now you're just stuck with me. You didn't want me like this…like the obnoxious kid I was." She drew a deep breath. "I was a street smart delinquent just like you said. I cheated and stole and used a lot worse words than damn and hell. I broke things on purpose and told people to f…"
"I get it." May stopped her before she could elaborate further. "I made a lot of mistakes too. Everyone does."
"They weren't mistakes." Daisy sniffed again then swiped her nose on her shoulder. "I did it on purpose. I wanted to be rotten. It was easier…it was…"
"Easier to built up those walls, to tell yourself you don't care at all?" May nodded. "You think I haven't?" She bent low to look Daisy in the eye but didn't really expect an answer.
"I just mess up everything…even…even you and Coulson…I'll just mess it up and…you'll both hate me…" She pulled harder and broke free, slipping off the ramp and running into the tall grass.
May was a step behind and twice as fast. She caught the child by one arm, spun her around and knelt in front of her. "It's not going to be like that this time Daisy." She took the girl by both arms. "It won't."
Daisy looked at May for the first time. "Why? Why would it?" She sobbed.
May looked into the child's eyes and felt her heart break. It broke for the little girl alone in an orphanage, the little girl returned time and time again, the little girl that never fit but starved for the love she'd been denied. It took her breath away and sent a burning chill through her being. She drew a breath, swallowed and forced a smile. "Because," her voice cracked. "Because this time you have me, you have me, Daisy." The tears rolled over her cheeks as she drew back the sob that threatened to escape.
Daisy looked into May's eyes. She said nothing, only looked and the wall she'd built so long ago crumbled. "Mom," she breathed as she fell forward into May's embrace. "You got me, too." She whispered into the hug.
The little girl stood back and placed her hands on May's shoulders. She sniffled a few times and sucked in her sobs. "I said you weren't that bad." She shook her head. "You're a really good mother…the best." She ducked her head for a bit and spoke quietly. "Even when you're all mad and yellin' at me for something. I'm sorry I got stole from you. I love you, Mom." She fell into May's embrace a second time.
May held the child close and kissed her temple. "Oh, bao bei, wo ai ni. I love you."
They stayed that way until both exhausted their tears then walked back to the ramp, hand in hand. Daisy looked up at the woman smiling at the fact that she always looked ten feet tall to her. She swung her hand to and fro, May did the same without question.
"So no swearing," Daisy remarked.
"None," May nodded.
They walked a few steps. "I guess beer is out." Daisy sighed.
"Absolutely," May shook the girl's hand gently.
"Curfew?" She questioned.
"Lights out by nine," May nodded. Daisy scowled.
"Computer?" She asked hopefully.
"Within limits," May agreed. Daisy pouted.
"Can I go with the team to check out the lighthouse tomorrow?" Daisy's brows rose with anticipation.
"Nope," May quipped then grinned as the little girl's shoulders fell. "But you can quarterback from command." Daisy smiled broadly. "With supervision," she finished. And the smile disappeared.
They reached the ramp and took a few steps before Daisy stopped and tugged at May's hand. She looked up at the woman, tilting her head just a bit to one side. "Would you really tan my hide?" She smiled.
May raised her brows and looked up for a moment, as if in thought. She tugged Daisy closer and smiled. "You really want to find out?"
xx
May stood at the door to Daisy's bunk watching her sleep. Coulson stepped behind, handing her a small glass of amber liquid. He smiled as he clinked his glass against hers, raised it a bit then drank. May took a sip then held it in both hands.
"Another day and no change," he smiled.
"I don't mind." May smiled.
"Motherhood growing on you?" Coulson grinned then leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently. "You wear it well."
May smiled. "I'd say, thank you Dad, but we both know you've been that kid's dad since the day you pulled her out of that van in that damn alley."
Coulson nodded, "touché." He clinked his glass against hers again. "But, I wouldn't mind giving her a little bit of a happy, if not quite normal, childhood." May furrowed her brow at his comment. "Hey, how many kids grow up surrounded by a team of spies?" May took a sip from her glass, raised a brow and nodded.
For a moment he was silent then added. "I don't mind being that little one's father for a bit either, sharing some of those Kodak moments."
May leaned back, resting her head against his chest. "Not going to be easy."
"Never is," Coulson smiled around another sip.
"She wants a computer." May grinned.
"Probably hack the Kremlin by Tuesday," he clucked.
"Wants to check out the light house with the team," she almost laughed.
"Sure there's a laptop around here somewhere," he laughed back.
They both turned at the sound of someone clearing their throat.
"Excuse me," Piper stammered. "I don't mean to intrude. I…a…I just wanted to give you this." She thrust an object toward May. "Grabbed what we could before we got out of the base. Figured you guys would be back so…" She trailed off. "It looked important just setting there on her bunk, so anyway…I…well I grabbed it."
May looked at the floppy little stuffed dog. "Thank you, Agent Piper." Coulson answered with enough of a hint to let the girl know she was dismissed. Piper gave a curt nod and left.
"This little guy's got quiet a story to tell." Coulson patted the toy's head.
"Some things are just meant to be," May smiled as she tucked it under Daisy's arm. The little girl breathed softly and hugged it closer. She bent and kissed her head.
"Always exactly where we're supposed to be, May, always."
