Chapter Nine – Mother And Father
Luke was so lost in his own thoughts that he hardly seemed to feel the floor under his feet, see where he was going, or hear the murmur of the ship's engines or even his father's breathing as they both left the training room side by side. After their heart to heart moment, Vader had Luke demonstrate all the lightsaber drills he knew with one of the staff's, which was the same length as a lightsaber. But it almost felt silly practicing with a staff rather than the actual weapon. But Vader had reminded him that it was necessary, as it would not cause bad damage to him or Vader if he made a wrong move. So Luke had proceeded to demonstrate without any complaint.
The exercising had helped relieve Luke of all the excess energy which had been building up inside him. However, he was still flabbergasted at what he had accomplished. How in the past few years had he not been able to realize he was capable of anything like this? The meditation was so calm and relaxing. Reaching out from his own mind had been somewhat of a challenge but not too difficult. But then again this had only been the beginning of Vader's training. What was going to follow? Would it be much harder? Stronger? Powerful? Dangerous?
"Luke."
Luke jumped at Vader's voice and the sudden touch of his heavy hand on his shoulder. He realized with a glance to his right that he had almost walked right past the door to his quarters.
"I…I was…lost in thought."
"You must not be so distracted, son. You need to stay alert."
Luke sighed. "I'm sorry, Father, it's just what I did back there…I just…still can't get my head around it. I didn't know I could…"
His father led him into his quarters and once the door was closed behind them he gently pulled Luke round so he was standing right in front of him.
"I understand how this must feel for you, son. I felt the same when I began my training. Even though I was much younger than you are now, it was such a surreal experience for me also. Because your training started much later than it should have, you haven't had the time you needed to become accustomed to both the experience and the power itself."
That was easy enough to understand. And Luke thought back to when he had first began training with Ben and Yoda and how at those times he hadn't realized just how much he had been capable of and what it felt like. It might have been because of his self-doubts in his abilities.
When he had used the Force to help him destroy the Death Star, he remembered feeling overwhelmed, however at the same time he had been too focused on putting as much distance between his ship and the station before the thing would explode and possibly take him with it.
"In time, you will become more used to it. And by then it will feel more natural and real to you."
His father was probably right. In time he was sure to get used to this. Part of it already felt like it was a natural part of him; like another limb to his body. It was kind of like when he was in his X-Wing. When he was flying, the ship itself felt as though it became an extension of his own body.
"I understand, Father."
Vader patted his shoulder then let go. "I have a few matters to see to. It would be best for you to practice some more meditation."
"Thank you, Father." Vader departed to his quarters while Luke went through to his sitting room.
He seated himself on the leather sofa, kicked off his boots and twisted round to lay back completely on the sofa. He didn't feel sleepy, his body may have felt a little exhausted from all the exercise, but his mind was still widely awake that sleep would have been impossible at this point.
The memories of the dream he had had of his parents had been so vivid and it was unlike most dreams which you forget not long after waking up. And Luke was pleased that it was still fresh in his mind. He couldn't bear the thought of losing the memory of seeing his mother for the first time even though it had only been a memory. She had been so beautiful and so warm-hearted. What wouldn't he have given to have known her.
Luke closed his eyes replaying the image of her; her dazzling smile, sweet voice and graceful movements.
"Mother," he whispered into the silence. "I will help Father. Even if it kills me, I won't give up on him."
Speaking the declaration made the promise feel true and real. But the moment Luke had said the word "mother" he felt as though thousands of tiny spines were stabbing his heart. The few orphans he had met growing up had told him that they didn't miss their parents that bad because they had never known them. So they didn't know if they were worth missing. But Luke had always hidden his pain behind a mask similar to what they wore. He never forgot those endless nights where he cried himself to sleep. Longing for his mother and father.
That same pain came to him once again. Despite being reunited with his father, he still wished he could find his mother. Though he knew full well it would never happen because she was long gone. The memory of the dream he'd had of her the previous night made this feel worse. He longed to feel her loving touch, inhale her sweet scent and hear her melodic voice. It was much worse than the longing for water while dehydrated in the Tatooine desert.
Turning on his side so that he was facing the huge leather cushion, he closed his eyes and allowed the tears of so many years of pain to flow. He tucked his knees up and hugged them to his chest, fearful that he was going to break apart from the inside if he didn't hold onto something solid.
"Mother…Mother…Mother…" His voice was choked with his sobs of pain.
In his office, Vader suddenly froze as he felt Luke's pain ring like an alarm bell through the Force. He glanced back at the door which connected their rooms and concern consumed his emotions. He strode quickly to the door and flung it open with a swish of his hand.
Following the pained emotions through to the living room, he stopped in the doorway at the sight he found; Luke curled up on the leather sofa with his back to him, his lean body shaking with silent sobs and his choked voice repeating one word: "Mother…Mother…Mother…" Vader's heart surged.
Just like last night, his son no longer looked like the brave pilot who he had chased in the Death Star trench, nor did he look like the reckless boy who had stood up to him in their lightsaber duels. Now in this moment, Luke was a helpless lost boy crying out for his dead mother.
Vader lowered his helmeted head. Luke may not have known his mother, but he wanted her and was crying in grief as though he had known her before her death. The dream he had spoken of might have been more real than Luke had described. Maybe it had been so detailed that Luke was given a clear picture of what kind of woman his mother was like, what Padme was like.
Although it pained Vader to speak or even remember her, he knew he had to give Luke something. Anything to relieve his son of this internal pain. Stepping over, he knelt down by the sofa and gently placed his gloved hand on Luke's blond head. Reaching out to the Force he connected his mind with the boy's.
Luke felt trapped, broken and alone. Not just from the Durasteel walls of this Super Star Destroyer. He felt as though a rusty blade was carving his heart out from his chest in excruciating twists. Yet all he could do was call out for one of the two people he had longed for all his life. His mother. But the painful part was the knowledge that he knew his mother would not come. She was dead. She was gone and never coming back. He thought he could hear a door open behind him but he did not care who saw him. Nothing could ease this pain. Nothing.
Then he felt someone's hand touch his head and before he could turn round, he felt a shimmer of some kind of odd feeling run though his mind.
When he opened his eyes, they almost popped out with wonderment. He wasn't lying on the leather couch anymore in his quarters of the Executor. He was lying on his side in a carpet of rich, green grass. He sat up and looked round to see that he was in the middle of a vast meadow under a warm, radiant sun.
Quickly, he got to his feet and his jaw dropped as he took in the beautiful surroundings. The lush grasses were sprinkled with flowers of all colours and shapes. Beyond the borders, shining waterfalls spilled into a lake, and from this spot he could see many other lakes about the distant hills way out to the horizon. Looking up he saw white puffy clouds drifting across the shining blue sky. This truly was a place full of life and full of love, full of warmth and full of softness.
Closing his eyes, Luke breathed in, the fresh pure air filled him with a comfortable feeling. Instantly, he felt his grief and sadness fading away. Opening his eyes again he watched as the water fell into the lakes and kept asking himself why his aunt and uncle couldn't have lived on a world like this one. A world where he would feel soft grass under his feet, feel moisture in the cool air, breathe in the fresh nectar of flowers and a world with an abundance of water.
Whichever world this was Luke hoped he could find out its name and where this was. Then maybe he could find it one day. It had to be real because this felt too vivid to be a simple dream.
Behind him Luke heard an odd grunting sound and he turned and saw in the distance, a herd of curious looking creatures. They had four legs with huge bloated bodies and small heads. They were just grazing contentedly about the grass and seemed to be oblivious to the couple who were seated nearby by a picnic spread in the grass. Luke eyed the couple and moved closer to get a better look at them.
Once he was close enough to see their faces, his jaw dropped again because he recognized the young woman. It was Padme, his mother. Even though he had only seen her in a dream, hers was a face of beauty which could never be forgotten. Was this another vision of her past? It must have been because these visions were all too real. Putting those thoughts aside, he turned his eyes back to Padme.
She was wearing an exquisite yellow dress with pretty embroidered pink flowers and her hair hung in brown curls with two buns on either side of her head which reminded him of Leia's hair when he'd first met her, but Padme's were smaller.
Beside her sat a young man who looked near Luke's age. His golden brown hair was cropped short with a small thin braid hanging from behind his right ear. He was wearing a brown shirt and pants with a black leather vest. Luke could not help but wonder who the young man was. The closer he looked at him the more familiar he looked. Luke wondered, was this his father? Was this Anakin? It had to be due to his familiarity and the Jedi style of his clothing.
The dream he'd had of his parents must have been years before this time, because the Anakin in his other dream looked around nine and this young man was probably ten years older. If that was right, it seemed time had been very kind to Padme because she looked almost exactly the same as the Padme in his dream and hadn't aged at all. Holding onto this hope, he listened to the conversation they were having.
"You really don't like politicians do you?" she asked with a bit of anger in her voice but not too much.
"I like two or three," the young man replied, "But I'm not really sure about one of them." His smile was perfectly disarming and Padme seemed to be struggling not to look amused. But they both let out a quick laugh.
"I don't think the system works," Anakin continued, looking out into the distance, past Luke where he stood.
"Really?" Padme asked. "Well, how would you have it work?"
Anakin's expression suddenly became intense. "We need a system where the politicians sit down and discuss the problem, agree what's in the best interests of the people and then do it." He said it as though it was perfectly simple and logical.
"That's exactly what we do," was Padme's unhesitating reply. But Anakin looked doubtful to her answer. "The trouble is that the people don't always agree," she explained. "In fact they hardly ever do."
"Then they should be made to." Anakin's statement seemed to have caught Padme off guard a bit.
"By whom? Who's going to make them?" she asked.
"I don't know. Someone," Anakin answered unsurely.
"You?"
"Of course not me!"
"But Someone. Someone wise."
"Sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me," Padme answered, seeming to win the debate. She watched Anakin as a mischievous little grin began to spread across his handsome face.
"Well, if it works…" he told her calmly. She stared at him again and his face returned to his earlier severe look, but he could hold it for long, his mischievous grin once again spread across his whole face. Padme couldn't hold back her laughter.
"You're making fun of me!"
"Oh no," Anakin chuckled. "I'd be much too frightened to tease a senator." They both laughed together uncontrollably and Luke had to join in.
"You're so bad," she said, picking up a bit of fruit from the blanket, throwing it at him. When he caught it easily she threw another then another.
"You're always so serious," Anakin scolded and began juggling the fruit.
"I'm so serious?" she retorted. She grabbed another piece of fruit and threw it at Anakin. He caught it and seamlessly put it up with the others. Then another and another until too many went his way and he lost control, then tried futilely to get away from the dropping fruit. Padme was now laughing so hard she had to clutch her belly.
Her laughter was like music to Luke's ears. He could see why his father must have fallen in love with her. Because she was beautiful both outside and in and was steadfast with a great sense of humour.
Anakin sprung to his feet and ran over to the herd of creatures and began chasing a few of them in circles round the small sloped hills. Padme got to her feet too and watched the young man jump up and land on one of the creature's backs. She and even Luke let out joyful laughs as Anakin was pulling himself up from a sitting position. As the creature began running and bucking around in circles as Anakin was trying to stand on the creatures back. He almost did it but the lumbering creature bucked hard and the Jedi tumbled down to the grassy ground. Padme continued to howl with laughter, but then she and Luke realized that Anakin was laying very still.
Padme's face filled with fear and Luke's heart pounded. Quickly she rushed through the long green grass to his side.
"Ani! Ani! Are you alright?" She gently turned him over onto his back. His face was serene and still then unexpectedly he burst out laughing. "Oh!" Padme cried and she punched out at him.
He caught her hand and pulled her close and she willingly crashed onto him wrestling with fury. Anakin finally managed to roll her over and pin her, and Padme stopped struggling, seemingly aware of their proximity together as they rolled over and over in the grass laughing together until Padme had him pinned to the ground and was on top of him.
Luke was laughing too as he watched.
They finally let go and Padme rolled off him onto her back next to him. Anakin stood up smiling and offered her his hand and helped her to her feet. They looked hard into each other's eyes then hand in hand the walked calmly to another of the creatures. Carefully, Anakin climbed onto its back and pulled Padme on behind him. Luke watched as they rode away across the meadow, Padme's arms wrapped round his waist and her body press up against Anakin's as he steered the creature on its way.
Luke contemplated following them to see where they went, but before he could do anything the vision went black and he no longer felt himself standing. He was lying down again and the air was no longer fresh with the smell of the grass, water or the perfumed flowers. The air was now cold. He opened his eyes and the first thing he was aware of was the hand resting over his head then the familiar sound of his father's respirator. Turning slowly he knew that it was indeed Vader's hand and that he was kneeling at his side by the leather sofa which he was still lying on.
"Father…" he murmured through his drowsiness.
"Luke." Vader responded, his voice gentle.
Luke reached up to rub his eyes and felt the dried tears on his cheeks.
Then the memory of the vision came back and Luke sat up quickly and the large hand on his head came down to rest on his shoulder. He glanced at the leather gauntlet and suddenly understood.
"You showed me that vision. That was you and…mother, wasn't it?"
Vader lowered his gaze and nodded slowly. "It was." He spoke so quietly that if it hadn't been for the vocoder, his voice probably would not have been heard.
"I look so much like you do," Luke said, keeping his eyes fixed on Vader. But Vader shook his head, still not looking at him.
"Unfortunately I do not look anything like the man you saw. All that remains beneath this mask is nothing but a hideous carcass."
Luke was confused. "What do you mean? What happened?" A silence hung between them and Luke was certain he would not get an answer. It seemed to be one of those subjects that his Father would ignore. Yet he badly wanted to know.
Yet Vader didn't seem ready to relent so he changed the subject. "I could not watch you suffer like that, Luke. I had to show you something. I am not yet able to tell you the whole story yet. But you deserved to see something true about...her."
Luke felt as though his insides were warming up. Vader had shown him the vision to save him the pain of telling him. Because it was still too painful for himself to speak about it. So he did the best thing he could to comfort his son. He had shared a happy memory of himself and Padme. It was the best thing he could have given him in a moment where Luke had felt so lost and alone. He couldn't have asked for anything better from his father. The warm feeling was spreading all through his body and he felt tears of joy refilling his eyes. He placed his hand on his father's shoulder and when Vader lifted his head to face him, Luke gave him a warm smile through his tears. But before Vader could say anything, Luke did something he had wanted to do all his life. He threw himself forward and flung arms around his father's neck and hugged him tight. Clutching handfuls of his cape, he allowed his tears to fall freely. The armour was hard and uncomfortable but Luke didn't care because this was his father, and nothing could change that or the gratitude which now filled his entire being.
Unable to speak properly through his choked throat he whispered, "Father…I love you."
Vader was utterly frozen in complete shock. Luke was hugging him, his son was embracing him with love.
It was something he had not felt for over two decades. The last time he had been held in an embrace was when Padme had run to him from her ship on Mustafar right into his arms. Since then he had all but forgotten the warmth and happiness which came from the gesture. It seemed determined that after that day, he would never experience such a loving and caring gesture ever again for as long as he lived. Yet here was Luke, his son, holding him in his arms and the Force ringing with his love for him.
"Father…I love you." When the words left his son's lips Vader felt as though his world was coming down. Luke…loved…him? But how in Sith hell was this possible? After everything he had put him and his friends through. After all that, somehow, his son loved him. Vader could not think of what to say, his breathing was becoming uneven despite the life support continuing to feed him fresh lungfuls of air.
At a loss of what to say or do, Vader did something he thought he would never do. He raised his arms and shakily wrapped them round his son. One round his back holding him close, and the other burying itself into the sea of blond hair. Luke tightened his arms round Vader's neck despite that the armour must not have been comfortable for the boy, he held on as though Vader was a lifeline and buried his face in the shoulder plate. Vader closed his eyes and for the first time in years he felt a tear slide down his scarred cheek underneath the mask and his lips curl up into a smile of true happiness.
Author's Notes
Hello There Everyone! I know it's been over a year since the last update on this Fanfic, but so much happened last year that I was utterly unable to work on this new chapter. I had a load of family holidays and sadly a devastating tragedy with the death of a young member of my family. Tied in with all that I went through another awful case of Writers Block. I badly wanted to update before the end of the year but the last few months had been extremely busy with Christmas, my birthday, two engagements in my family and a Pantomime performance.
Last week was very special as I attended London Comic Con and met Ian McDiarmid (Emperor Palpatine), Femi Taylor (Oola) and all six of the Knights Of Ren. Not as busy as it was last time but just as Fantastic.
Anyway, thank you to my beta reader Carrie2sky for fixing the chapter to look right and thank you to all of you who have clicked "Favourite" and "Follow" and sent me all those reviews. Please continue to do so as it will help encourage me to continue on with more chapters.
May The Force Be With You
LouisaJane007 XXX
