I was in the utter nothingness, so empty of everything that it wasn't even dark, perceiving nothing myself. Not a thought, not a wish or a worry was in my mind, because I had nothing. I was nothing.
And then suddenly, there was a noise. Music. Every instrument imaginable played at once- drums, harps, trumpets, voices, everything- all in harmony, producing long, beautiful notes. It was loud, absorbingly loud, but not painful. The music filled everything inside me, and then one gasp later, I burst into being.
I shone like starlight, beautiful, penetrating and formless, and my head filled with thoughts and observations as I looked up and down- I could see now. My eyes were inundated with sights of vast blackness and pinpricks of stars. The music kept playing, and my field of vision expanded as the darkness and stars rolled out into the ever-growing distance, spreading out like spilled vantablack peppered with quicksilver. Except for the music and the stars, I was alone. Or at least, I thought I was.
"Hello, little one," came a gentle, deep voice from behind me. I turned and saw a huge, mighty man kneeling down so he was eye-level with me. He had rosy cheeks and long, blonde hair that was tied into a braid with a beard to match, and amber eyes that shone like suns. Smiling tenderly, he stretched out a colossal, muscular arm so that I floated on the palm of his hand. "I am Tulkas."
I had no mouth to speak from, but the name echoed like a song, and filled me with joy. I shone a little brighter, and he knew I had understood.
"And you, you are my Vinyaten."
Vinyaten. From the music I was made, but now that I had a name, I was born, and as he spoke it, I exploded into my whole body, fully formed at last. I stood in his hand on two legs now as I watched up at him in wonder.
He looked at me lovingly and said my name again. "Vinyaten: the young thought. Indeed, you were one of my first thoughts. You will do much in your life, but there is a long way for you to go first, little Maia," he pointed a finger at me gently and chuckled. "But you will learn all you need from me."
I let out an excited laugh, leapt up and climbed onto his outstretched finger. Amused, he brought me close to his face.
"Tulkas," I said, smiling at him. My first word was the name of my Vala. He beamed at me and nodded, and I was so pleased he had found me.
"Already so bold and vigorous," he murmured with delight. "But you must also learn strength, speed, endurance. Are you ready?"
I nodded. I was born ready.
I jerked awake, saturated with sweat and panting heavily as I sat up, dragging air into my lungs.
"Rhodri?" Glorfindel said, the noise having startled him out of his slumber. "My goodness, you're wringing wet!" he exclaimed as he reached over and touched my hair. "That must have been a very vivid nightmare you were having."
"I don't think it was a nightmare," I murmured, wiping my face dry with my pyjama shirt. "It was a memory."
"Oh?"
I lay back down. "I can show you," was all I said.
Glorfindel nodded and sank back onto the pillow. I'm not sure why, but I pulled him tightly to me, wrapping my legs around his like I was trying to anchor him to me. It had all been so vivid that I worried he might be blown across the room from the force of my creation, and one glance later, he was me.
When the dream ended, Glorfindel was gasping for air, now drenched like I was.
"The Ainulindalë," he panted, saying nothing more as he looked over at me with wide eyes.
"Mmm," I nodded, more relaxed now. "Come, we should wash this sweat off before it gets into the sheets." I got up and ran a bath for the two of us.
"That was incredible," Glorfindel said as he lay floating in the water, his hair spread out around him like a golden halo. "To hear the song that made the world, the Valar… you," he added with a smile, rubbing his leg against me affectionately. I smiled back.
"Are you all right after seeing it, though?" I asked, scanning him cautiously. "I know it was very intense to experience."
"Oh, yes," he said serenely. "It tired me out a little, but I find this bath is having quite the rejuvenating effect. What do you suppose was the meaning of all that, anyway?"
"I don't know that there is much to be read into there," I said frankly, shrugging a little. "I just had a flash of a memory."
"You don't think it odd you're only getting this now?" he suggested.
"I can't think what hidden message there might be hidden in there," I said, frowning as I racked my brains for any indication that it was somehow imbued with a deeper meaning. "Not unless there's something to inform me of some sort of divine task, fantastical though that seems. So far though, the only thing it's really done is remind me of how fond Tulkas and I were of each other."
"It seems like he saw a lot of himself in you," Glorfindel commented. "Going by that dream, at least. I can see it somewhat, myself, when I think about how Tulkas was described. Vigorous, slow to anger, terribly impatient…" he chuckled a little.
I laughed. "Let's talk to Elrond about it today. He's good at divining dreams. Maybe he'll know something."
"You took the words right out of my mouth," he murmured.
"Oh, cool! I love this game. Okay, it's my turn now. Predict what I'm going to say next!" I sat up excitedly and grinned at him.
Glorfindel raised an eyebrow in amusement, sitting up too. "Very well. You are about to say, 'Glorfindel, you're absolutely right, there has never been a better time than now to get more cake.'"
My eyes widened. "Good god almighty, you cannot possibly be serious."
"Does this look like the face of someone who would jest about such matters?" he asked, spurred on by my doubt as he squared his jaw.
"Well, to be totally candid with you," I replied as I took his hand and pulled him toward me, "It looks like the face of someone who is completely and utterly irresistible."
The jokingly stubborn look on Glorfindel's face evaporated, replaced by a swoon as he glided through the water over to me.
"Four and a bit millennia of psychology and I still don't know how to withstand that face of yours when it wants something," I murmured as I drew him into a kiss. He sighed and sank into my arms, gently pressing back with his mouth.
"Now," I said as I broke the kiss, "show me the dimensions of the piece you want, and in ten minutes, I'll return with the payload."
He took his hands out of the water and shaped out something about the size of a small postcard. Nodding, I got up, wrung my hair out, and excused myself as I stepped out of the bath and put on some clothes.
When I arrived downstairs in the main corridor, I saw that it was entirely abandoned. Not a soul had decided to pull an all-nighter. Even the kitchen was devoid of people. Not that it really mattered, because it was still absolutely laden with food. Finding the bee sting cake, I cut off a wodge for Glorfindel, and another piece for myself, promptly leaving before I could be tempted with anything else.
Back in the walkway, I was surprised to find that I was, in fact, wrong. There was another soul awake. A soul that I wasn't even aware was in Imladris.
"Olórin!" I said happily, giving him a cheery wave.
"Oh, Rhodri! Hello!" he greeted me good-naturedly, waving back.
I balanced the cake plates in one hand as I pulled him into an embrace with my free arm.
"It's incredibly quiet here," he said, looking around the halls worriedly. "Where is everybody?"
"You just missed Glorfindel's eight thousandth conception day party. It finished a few hours ago now, and I believe the entire settlement has gone to bed."
"What are you still doing awake, then?" he raised an eyebrow at me.
"Ah, well, I had a funny night's sleep, you see, and that woke Glorfindel, and then he wanted cake, so here I am." I shrugged. "Actually, the cause of my odd night's sleep is something I'd like to get your opinion on a little later today, if you think you'll be available."
Looking interested now, Olórin nodded. "Certainly. Come and find me whenever you want. I expect to be in the library or Lord Elrond's study, when he eventually wakes. In the meantime, though, I won't keep you and Glorfindel from your cake," he gestured at the plates in my hand. "Am I to assume there is more of that delicious-looking creation in the kitchens?"
"You would be correct if you did," I said with a wink. "Well, for now, at least. Best be quick and grab what you want before Glorfindel does a magic disappearing act with it."
Waving goodbye, I strolled back upstairs and walked in to find Glorfindel back in bed, sound asleep. After wafting the cake under his nose and finding he didn't stir, I put the plates on his bedside table and crawled into bed, surprised to find that I was a little sleepy myself.
Upon waking, I felt revitalised again, and with a glance out the window I saw that it was about midday. Looking to my left, I saw Glorfindel lying on his side, watching me with a grin.
"Should we defy social mores and eat our cake in bed?" he asked, his eyes sparkling wickedly.
"Goodness, we're already wanted criminals in Gondor," I said in a tremulous voice. "Where will we go if Elrond puts out a warrant for our arrest here?"
"Mithlond, perhaps?"
I shrugged. "Sure, why not. We could even go west from there. Let them sort this damned ring business out on their own if they're going to evict us over cake."
"Quite right, beloved," he replied with a nod as he passed me my plate.
When we eventually departed the room, we ran into Elrond on the way.
"Ah, hello, you two!" he said with a warm smile. "All recovered after the party?"
"Just about, I'd say," I chuckled. "Have you run into Olórin yet?"
Elrond looked surprised. "No, actually. I only recently woke, myself. I was on my way to the dining hall to get some breakfast." He eyed us carefully for a moment. "I presume you two are going to do the same?"
"Oh, we already ate," Glorfindel said with a smile.
"Cake does not count as breakfast, Glorfindel," Elrond said smartly, fixing us with a pointed expression.
"H-how did yo-?" Glorfindel spluttered in disbelief.
"You have custard on your nose," he replied, cutting through his friend's astonished reply. With that, he tranquilly continued down the hall, his hands neatly folded behind his back.
After we both wiped our faces, we hurried after Elrond.
"Do you have any plans for the day, Elrond?" I asked as we caught up to him.
"Oh, the usual pile of paperwork awaits, but nothing especially urgent," Elrond answered. "I shall seek out Olórin as well, I imagine. Why do you ask?"
"I'd like your opinion on something that happened a few hours ago, if you have a spare block of time available," I requested.
He looked at me with interest. "Of course. Is everything all right?"
"Mmm, no problems. Let's take it after breakfast, yes?"
After we'd had our fill of food, we made for Elrond's study via the library to pick up Olórin. Inside Elrond's study, we all perched on the couch.
"So what is it you wish to discuss, then, Rhodri?" Elrond asked.
"Lean back in the sofa and have a look at this memory that came to me in my sleep last night," I said to him and Olórin. Glancing at each other in confusion, they both settled back, and as I opened my memory to them, they were under.
They emerged some few minutes later from my mind gasping and looking like they'd just come out of a violent storm.
"So that was where you and Tulkas were during the Ainulindalë," Olórin panted. "Such a long way away from the rest of us…"
"Breathtaking…" was all Elrond said for a short while.
The impatience grew in me as the interpretation I was angling for wasn't readily issued.
"What do you both make of this, then?"
Elrond and Olórin were jerked out of their contemplative, slightly exhausted reverie and looked at me vaguely. Olórin looked at Elrond, inviting him to speak first.
"If I could make a guess," Elrond began, "it could be a timely reminder."
"Of what?" I asked blankly.
"Of who you are and what you can do," he replied simply. "And who Tulkas is, too."
I frowned a little. I didn't care for cryptic answers at a time like this.
"Think about it, Rhodri," Elrond continued. "Tulkas was the one who came at the sign of strife, the only one able to restrain Morgoth. You did the same at Dol Guldur but with Sauron. Nobody else could have done that. He knows that now, and I do not doubt he fears it happening a second time. Whether you want to admit it or not, you can have an intimidating presence."
He looked at me frankly, and I failed to suppress a wince, surprisingly stung by Elrond's words. I wasn't made to be intimidating; I wasn't a bully. I was happy, zippy Rhodri, the early bird who doled out bear hugs like oxygen and enjoyed drawing comics about chickens. The two didn't fit together.
Ashamed, I looked down at my knees, aching sadly as I felt more of an alien than I ever had.
Glorfindel wrapped an arm around my waist and gently said, "You don't intimidate us."
I heard Elrond and Olórin agree firmly.
"Not at all," Olórin chimed in. "The other Valar were not intimidated by Tulkas, either. Morgoth, however…"
A surge of hope made me look up again. Had my self-imposed alien status been revoked?
Elrond smiled. "Not that Tulkas defeated Morgoth alone," he added quickly. "It was the work of a coordinated team, and we will work together in much the same way to stop Sauron in his tracks."
"Exactly what each of us has to do remains a mystery for now," Olórin advised, seeing my question before I could even ask it. "The best thing we can do is hone our skills, keep them practiced and ready for anything."
"Fascinating, though, that this came to you in a dream…" Elrond said, deeply intrigued.
"Yes, I thought that myself," Olórin concurred. "At a guess, I would assume that Tulkas and Irmo worked together for that to happen."
My ears pricked up a little. That was a happy thought. Maybe one day, I could learn from them both without risking Ilúvatar shipping me off to Blighty so their jejune squabbles would simmer down.
"So this is my alarm call," I murmured with interest.
"It would seem so," Olórin said, nodding.
"I hope this means I don't have to give up cake," I said to nobody in particular, twiddling my thumbs in agitation at the thought of engaging in such strict discipline.
"Gracious me, no," said Glorfindel in a loud, passionate voice. Elrond and Olórin looked at him in surprise. Glorfindel didn't notice, continuing with, "It's never going to be that desperate, Rhodri."
I smiled. "You always know the right thing to say."
"Incidentally, while we are all gathered here," Olórin hastily continued, knowing that there was no return from the rabbit hole once Glorfindel got his mental hooks onto the topic of baked goods, "I have some other news."
"Oh?" Glorfindel said, distracted but interested.
"Imladris will be receiving a new resident shortly."
Glorfindel and I jittered excitedly. Elrond, the guy who owned the place, said, "Oh, yes? Whom can we expect here?"
"A Mr. Bilbo Baggins," Olórin replied with a smile.
Our jaws all dropped. In another display of bad timing, Glorfindel and I had been out camping with little Estel in the Angle during Bilbo's first visit to Imladris, and so had still not had the pleasure of his acquaintance. That was a while ago, though- some 60 years, now.
"Bilbo Baggins?" Elrond repeated. "He is still-?" he stopped, not wanting to seem rude in his shock that Bilbo hadn't popped his clogs yet.
"Indeed he is," Olórin said, calmly glossing over Elrond's surprise. "He informed me of as much during my last visit with him some weeks ago."
"But he must be ancient by now, certainly by Hobbit standards," I said, less polite than my buddy. "How's he going to get here?"
"Ah, that is what was particularly intriguing," Olórin acknowledged with a nod. "It would seem that Mr. Baggins has been blessed with quite long-lasting youthfulness. He doesn't look or seem a day over sixty."
In synchrony, Glorfindel, Elrond, and I all raised an eyebrow. Olórin grunted in assent as he looked at us.
"Indeed," he murmured. "Bilbo will be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday just over a year from now, after which he will depart the Shire for Imladris. While I am there, I will be examining the magic ring he found a little more closely."
"Do that," Elrond mumbled nervously.
Olórin gave us a reassuring smile. "It is safe for now," he said patiently. "But soon we will all have to start making preparations."
§
It's awkward when a disaster is looming and you know you have to do something, but you're not sure what. Rarely is it a happy combination, because it usually ends in everybody running around like blue-arsed flies, flitting from thing to thing and getting precious little done in total.
The beauty of a disaster-mode Elrond, however, shone through at this particular hour of need. Though deep down he wasn't keen to give orders, he was a terrific leader, and gave specific instructions to every person to cover every possible need that might arise. This also helped not only in the development of specialists, but also quickly instilled the sense of normalcy that kept the society in Imladris ticking over. To be honest, I think it also helped keep Elrond's mind off Arwen's engagement to Aragorn, which seemed to have every indication of going ahead if Aragorn managed to pull off what Elrond asked of him.
Olórin was to go back to the Shire in due time, going on from there to Isengard to pay a courtesy call to Curumo. Well, not really a courtesy call. More like sticking his nose in to see what the bugger was up to. It was a brilliant idea, though I wondered to myself how Olórin could stand looking at Curumo's smug face without taking his staff to it.
The workloads for Elrond, Glorfindel, and me also skyrocketed accordingly. Our Happy Hours (among many other hours) were spent in the training courtyards now, and in the office, paperwork was being completed at record speed to make room for conferences that went late into the night.
Much as I willed myself to remember more of my time with Tulkas, nothing more came to me, awake or asleep, meaning I had to set up my own training regimen to build up what he'd mentioned. Strength, speed, endurance. Speed was something I hadn't tested out yet. Frankly, I was pleased I didn't set too high expectations for that one, because I think I would have been disappointed if I'd holding out for Clark Kent levels of zippiness.
What I found I was able to do, though, was match the pace of Glorfindel on his horse, even at full speed, without getting tired. That was handy, and certainly quicker than most bipeds.
Training otherwise didn't seem to do much for my abilities, oddly enough. I either could do something, or I couldn't, and seldom deviated too much from the baseline I started with. For example, after almost two years of intense training, Glorfindel and I went back to the place where I'd shifted that massive stone for a camping trip. Despite all my training, I still had to exert effort in lifting it, and at most, I was able to jog with it. Hardly what you'd call statistically significant improvement.
Truthfully, though, I didn't mind. The idea of unlimited power was hugely unappealing to me, and I was pleased to know what my limits were, lest I accidentally strain something and have to spend the War on Sauron in bed nursing a bad case of lumbago.
The day we returned to Imladris, spirited and hair ever so slightly bleached from all the sunlight, coincided with the arrival of another person. He was short, with a mop of wavy salt and pepper hair, and the top of his bare feet looked like someone had superglued a couple of shag pile carpets on there for a laugh.
Ah, but what a jolly little soul he was! He'd shown up with a bindle, a backpack, and a walking stick, and walked with the vim and vigour of someone a fraction of his age. He flashed us a huge, toothy grin as we all materialised in Elrond's courtyard at the same time.
"Hello, there!" he said in a cheerful voice, tipping his hat gently at us. To my surprise, the guy spoke Sindarin fluently.
"Hi there," I replied with a broad smile. "You must be Mr. Baggins!"
"That's me," he acknowledged. "Whom do I have the pleasure of greeting?"
"Rhodri's the name," I said as I shook his hand firmly.
"And I am Glorfindel," my spouse said, beaming at Bilbo and touching his hand to his chest. "It's so lovely to meet you at last. We would likely have met when you were last here, only we were away camping."
"Ah, indeed, yes, I recall Lord Elrond mentioning that," Bilbo said with a nod. "Ah! Speaking of which, the very man approaches!"
Elrond, who had a hint of dark shadows under his eyes, strolled over to us with a gentle, warm smile on his face. "Ah, excellent! Three eagerly anticipated guests arrive all at once!" he said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "Come, you must be exhausted. Let us sit in my study with a wine and you shall tell me all about your journeys."
Excited at the prospect of a Happy Hour that actually entailed sitting down and chatting rather than swinging blades around, we eagerly trotted along with Elrond and Bilbo.
Elrond took a seat in an armchair that was across from the couch that I perched on between Bilbo and Glorfindel. Bit by bit, each of us revealed parts of our time away (Glorfindel and I leaving out parts alluding to my Maia status).
Bilbo, it seemed, had come to Imladris via the Trollshaws, moving through the daylight only and taking shelter at the tops of huge trees (trolls, apparently, could not climb). He was quite the gifted storyteller, and had us absolutely enthralled with his account of even the minutiae of his travels. I felt comparatively prosaic (and I think Glorfindel did, too) as we recounted our days in the Angle- not that there was much to tell aside from how sunny it was.
"Oh, and we found these cool rocks," I added, having nearly forgotten to show them. The Ford of Bruinen was littered with pebbles of all shapes, patterns, and colours, worn smooth and shiny from the constant flow of the water. Glorfindel and I spent a few hours inspecting them with fascination and came with a small handful of our favourites. I crammed my hand into my robe's pocket, scooped the rocks out, and passed half to Elrond and half to Bilbo.
"These are very beautiful," Bilbo murmured as he gazed at them. Elrond nodded in agreement, flipping them over to inspect the obverse side.
I leaned over and pointed at one in Elrond's hand, a black one that had a white spot with a yellow centre. "That one there is our personal favourite. It was Glorfindel's job to find the nicest colours, and I had to find ones with the most interesting patterns. But we both agreed this one was most fun."
"It looks like it has a fried egg on it," Elrond remarked, brushing his thumb over the smooth surface.
"Precisely why we liked it," I replied with a grin.
At that moment, Bilbo, seized by a memory of something, began to tell us about some of the rocks he'd seen in the caves under the Mist Mountains, which had us enraptured for another while. I could have listened to the guy tell story after story for ages. The others, it seemed, shared the sentiment, because nobody made any effort to get a word in. Whenever Bilbo made a modest pause to allow others to speak, we simply asked him more questions in the hopes of getting another tale out of him, which he readily obliged.
This sequence went on until night had fallen and the dinner bell rang. We hadn't even thought to turn on a light, and we realised we were actually sitting in quite a dark room.
Agreeing that it was best to leave the conversation for now and get some food, we stood up, grabbing our bags, and left for the dining hall.
