I do not own Star Wars in any capacity.

Enjoy chapter 62!


When the Ghost exited hyperspace, they were only twenty kilometers from the station. Around it were three identical transport ships, along with two TIE fighter carriers. Kanan was sitting in the dorsal turret as Hera let the Ghost glide closer. "Which one's our target?" Kanan asked.

"Intel didn't give us that much," Hera said over the comm, sounding frustrated. "Now what?"

Kanan pursed his lips. "One moment." He closed his eyes and extended his hand to reach out. The crystals would resonate with the Force, which should make them easy to locate. He let out a soft sigh, following the melodic hum of the kyber. With how loudly the crystals were singing, there had to be at least a tonne.

There.

"About thirty degrees starboard," Kanan said, opening his eyes. "The center transport."

"You sure?"

Kanan smirked. "I'm sure."

"Alright. Cover me from those TIEs."

Kanan grinned as he grabbed the turret controls and sat at the ready. It's been a while since he and Hera had done a mission completely on their own. They were a seamless team when they worked together like this. Kanan always found it exhilarating.

Hera increased the Ghost's speed as she took an attack vector. As she did, the TIEs were released from their carriers and swarmed to attack them. Kanan started to fire from the turret, destroying one TIE in the initial barrage before they scattered. Between himself and Hera shooting the nose gun, they should be able to keep them occupied until Hera got close enough to destroy the kyber.

Unfortunately the TIEs weren't their only problem. The other transport ships were also firing upon the Ghost, trying to stall for time as the kyber ship turned and prepared to jump into hyperspace.

With the intense barrage of plasma bolts, Hera had to pull up from her initial approach. Kanan was doing his best to take out the TIEs, taking them out one by one, but there were a lot of them.

The Ghost pitched backward as Hera evaded the counterattack. She fired off the nose, taking out another TIE herself. "You need to get those TIEs off my back before I can make another run!"

"Working on it~!" Kanan said with feigned lightness. There were only two more circling the Ghost, but Hera was right. The shields couldn't take constant fire from those fighters and the turrets on the transports. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the center ship was more than halfway turned toward the local hyperspace route. They had to work fast.

Pausing in his fire, Kanan breathed evenly and closed his eyes. Even with the kyber loudly singing in the Force, it wasn't enough to completely overwhelm the natural flows and ebbs around him.

Left, up…

He moved the turret fluidly along the waves of the Force, following its guidance before pressing the trigger. He felt more than saw one of the TIEs get hit and explode off the Ghost's portside bow.

Right, flick down…

And a moment later the last TIE was gone. Grinning in satisfaction, Kanan hit the comm. "Alright, Spectre Two, you're in the clear. I'll cover you on our approach."

"Copy that, Spectre One."

The Ghost swiveled up and twisted, once again taking an attack vector towards the center transport. Kanan grit his teeth as he alternated fire between the two dummy transports. His heart was pounding in his ears as he saw the center ship's engines begin to glow. "C'mon, Hera…" he murmured under his breath. They could do this. They were so close.

Two missiles were launched from the bow of the Ghost. Hera didn't even wait to see if they hit their mark before she pulled up and started a hasty retreat. Because if her aim had been true…

There was a flash of blinding green light before the Ghost was rocked by the initial shockwave. The transport containing the kyber had collapsed in on itself, and the following explosion ripped through the other transports and the science station. Kanan could feel the Ghost's engines straining as Hera pushed it hard, the destructive wave of the kyber explosion slowly gaining on them.

Then, the wave mere meters from the Ghost's stern, Hera made it to the hyperspace lane and jumped to safety.

Kanan gave an almost deranged giggle as he sagged in his seat, staring out at the blue swirl of hyperspace. They did it. And it actually all went as planned. With a satisfied sigh, he started to climb down out of the turret.

He could see their fear - feel it keenly in the Force - and it filled him with a sickly thrill.

Kanan let out a strangled gasp as a spear of ice plunged through his head. He lost his grip on the ladder and fell to the floor with a loud clang, curling on his side and clutching his head with a moan. The icy cold seemed to spread through him, not unlike when the Inquisitor was near, but that was impossible…

"Kanan?!" There was a warm hand on his shoulder. "Kanan, what's wrong?!"

"I… I-I feel…" He searched for the source of the pain, of the cold hate flooding his senses. Was this some kind of attack? No, it couldn't be. There was no way the Inquisitor could attack his mind directly like this. He would have to have some sort of direct connection.

Kanan choked as he realized where this was coming from. His bond.

Shoring up his mental defenses, he sat up with a groan. Hera snaked an arm around his back, helping support him. "What happened?" she asked urgently.

"Ezra…" he breathed, his body shaking as if he had just walked through a snowstorm. "W-We have to get back. Now."


Ezra didn't know what was worse: seeing the ship again, or seeing PA-32 rolling back and forth in front of the ramp. Echoes of his childhood, of his relatives dragging him onto this ship in an effort to sell him, of PA-32 making sure Ezra didn't move, didn't speak… It was flooding his senses, but they didn't make him afraid. Not this time. All he could feel was this burn in the center of his chest. It was some sort of need that had consumed him ever since he realized that Sarah was here.

With his fists clenched at his sides, he marched straight up to the ship, to PA-32. The droid paused in her pacing as she noticed Ezra coming closer. "Hello, sir. Can I help you?"

Polite. Courteous towards him, something that had never happened when he had been a kid. It made the burn in his chest flare, and he snarled as he reached out towards PA-32, his hand clawed as he focused on her central processor and squeezed.

Sparks flew out as her processor was crushed, a high pitched whine coming from PA-32's chassis as she deactivated and slumped.

"Ezra, what are you doing?!"

He ignored her, easily tossing the broken droid aside with a wave of his hand. He marched on, up the ramp and into the darkened ship.

He stopped just as he stepped inside, his stomach clenching even tighter as he looked around the setting of his nightmares. Even with most of the lights powered down, he could easily see the main cabin as he remembered it. Some of the furniture was different, but it was still the pristine high end furnishings that his aunt always insisted on having. A sturdy wooden table was in the center. A table Ezra had been pinned to and beaten on over and over again…

"I think we should go."

There was a soft touch on his arm and Ezra yanked back from it with a hiss. "No," he growled. "I'm not done."

He was pretty sure the other two were protesting but Ezra refused to hear them. The burn was only getting hotter with every memory of pain and fear that flashed before his eyes. He refused to leave until his past burned to ash.

He took another couple steps forward and looked down. Right where he remembered it. The hatch. The faintly visible square that outlined the lid was so small. It was hard to imagine that he could have ever fit in there. His body tense and shaking uncontrollably, he slowly knelt down next to it. With a shuddering sigh, he grabbed the latch and yanked it open.

It was empty. Because of course it was. Ezra gazed intently into the durasteel box, his eyes beginning to burn as he remembered the first time he ever saw Kanan. He had been kneeling here, just like Ezra was now. What must have gone through his mind when he found Ezra, tiny and beaten, tucked away in this prison?

Something grabbed his arm and yanked him away. He was suddenly facing her, her eyes wide with confusion and fear. "I don't know what's going on with you, but we can't stay here!"

Ezra pushed her back with strength he didn't know he had. "I have to do this. I have to be here, I have to face this…!"

"Face what? Your parents?"

"My parents are dead!" Ezra spat. "They were traitors to the Empire and executed when I was a baby." Hot tears were streaming down his cheeks, and he didn't know why. "I'm a useless, dirty backwater freak, and I deserved it! I deserved it, I-I deserved it…!" His voice was haggard and strained as he twisted his hands into his hair. His entire mind was aflame with chaos.

Strong hands gripped his arms, and this time he didn't try to pull away. "We're leaving. Now."

Ezra was blinking rapidly, trying to clear his vision as he gulped for air. This was a mistake. He risked the entire mission to be standing right here, and it was a mistake.

"What is going on here?"

The voice cut through the havoc of mind, and suddenly all was quiet. The tears stopped. His shaking was gone. The burn had diminished into a dull coal. He felt nothing - heard nothing but the ring of that woman's voice - as he slowly looked up.

She was wearing an impossibly intricate dress. One that she had probably never worn before and never would again. She had a pistol aimed at him (them), and Ezra's vision blurred slightly as he was taken back in time. The stranger's (Kanan's) arms were warm as they held him tightly...

"What could you possibly want with this… filth?"

But this time she wasn't alone. He was standing right behind her. His hair was lighter and his belly bigger. His dark blue eyes were filled with confusion and anger as he looked over his wife's shoulder. "It can't be…" he breathed.

Her eyes suddenly focused on him, and they widened in recognition. Her lip turned up in a sneer. "It's you," she spat.

The words washed over Ezra like a gentle breeze blowing over an ember, making it glow with heat.

"I'm so sorry," Sabine said quickly, her hand bruising Ezra's arm. "I-I think we're on the wrong ship…"

At the very periphery of his vision, Ezra could see Chopper's antenna slowly turning. He was trying to contact someone. The knowledge was utterly useless to Ezra though, as he was still completely and utterly numb.

"I'm not interested in your lies," Sarai sneered, taking a couple steps into the ship and closer to them. Sabine pulled Ezra back, Chopper rolling with them. "Not only have you destroyed my property and trespassed onto my ship, but you track in this filth. I should shoot you right where you stand!" Sarai's arm straightened, the pistol aimed directly at Sabine…

The coal in Ezra's chest suddenly exploded.

"NO!" he screamed, thrusting his arm out and pushing them back with all his will. The pistol went flying out of Sarai's hand, and they both hit the wall of the ship with two loud thuds. But their bodies didn't slump to the floor like Sarah's had. His arm still outstretched, he kept them pinned. He could see their fear - feel it keenly in the Force - and it filled him with a sickly thrill. It fueled the fire inside of him, burning so hot it turned icy cold.

His teeth were clenched and his lips pulled back in a snarl. "This is what it's like to be afraid! The things you did to me… You ripped me part over and over again!"

They were both struggling against his hold. "Let us go, you - !"

"Shut up!" Ezra pushed harder, cutting them off and leaving them gasping for air. Their fear turned to terror, and Ezra couldn't help but laugh as it fed the icy fire. "I'm going to make sure you can't hurt me or anyone else ever again!"

He was about to push again - to let the fire swell and crush them into oblivion - when he felt himself weaken suddenly. He faltered in confusion as the Force rapidly became more and more muffled until there was nothing but the ice inside of him.

Sarai and Barnabas fell to the ground in unconscious heaps. Standing between their bodies at the entrance of the ship was a terrified looking teenager. A yellow reptile - Sal, Ezra dimly remembered - was perched on her shoulder, with its tail wrapped around her ribs. "E… Ezra?"

Ezra could only stare at her. While her parents looked mostly unchanged, she was almost unrecognizable. Sarah had always seemed so big and looming to him. But looking at her now, she was somehow so small. Still bigger than him maybe, but she was shorter than Sabine. Her features were softer than Ezra remembered, and the way she was looking at him… it was like she was actually seeing him.

Sarah was trembling as she looked down at the bodies of her parents. "W-W-What are you d-doing here…?"

Ezra opened his mouth to respond but found his voice was swallowed up by the cold still burning in his chest. His gaze went unfocused as he realized he didn't have an answer to that question.

Sabine walked up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We need to get out of here," she said urgently.

Sarah looked at Sabine. "Ria… y-you know him?"

"Sarah, you need to let us leave. Please."

Sarah just nodded, still shaking as she stepped to the side.

Sabine pushed Ezra forward, and Ezra meekly let her guide him to the door. He just felt cold and empty and lost. It was taking all his willpower to not just crumple to his knees.

"Wait."

They were standing right in front of his cousin now, who looked conflicted as she stared down at Ezra. For some reason, he couldn't sense her actual emotions. He couldn't really sense anything.

"I…" Sarah looked away, putting a hand on the creature as if it gave her some comfort. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "F-For everything we did to you."

Her voice tugged on Ezra's chest, creating a sliver of warmth in the icy emptiness. He wasn't sure if he believed her. He had no way of knowing she was being genuine. But it did give him his voice back. "You have to leave the Academy."

She frowned and looked back at him. "What do you mean 'leave'?"

Ezra didn't know if she would believe him, but he had to try. "I… I think you're like me. And the officers know."

To his surprise, she immediately looked down, her grip on the creature tightening. "I know," she breathed. She looked back at her parents, who were still out cold. "But they don't."

Ezra's heart skipped a beat at the quiet admission. Ezra had always been scum in their eyes, even before they knew he had the Force. But she was their precious child, so if they knew, they wouldn't hurt her like they hurt him… right?

"I'll be fine," Sarah said, her voice only quivering slightly. "I've always been a good liar."

Ezra swallowed down the nausea that statement evoked. He had to warn her. "An Imperial called the Inquisitor is coming here in a few days. If you're still here when he arrives… he'll kill you."

Her eyes widened. "How can you know?"

"Because he tried to kill me."

Her expression went lax as she understood, her gaze hardening in determination. "Okay," she replied quietly. "I'll figure it out."

There was a small moan behind them, and Sabine yanked on his arm and pulled him down the ramp. "We have to leave. Now."

Ezra let her drag him away. There was nothing else he could do now. As Chopper led them out of the hanger and away from the Academy, the Force grew and wrapped around him once again, but it wasn't enough to penetrate the icy hollowness in his chest.

Just as they were making their way out of the Imperial buildings, Ezra's knees suddenly buckled as he collapsed to the ground with a moan.

"Ezra?!" Sabine still had a grip on his arm and was trying to pull back up. "Ezra, get up! We can't just sit here!"

Ezra couldn't respond, the cold sinking into his bones and making him weak. What was wrong with him? What had just happened? He was rocking back and forth slightly, his arms wrapped around himself as he tried to make sense of things.

He heard Chopper roll up and say something about Zeb. That he was… on his way?

"Okay," Sabine said, sounding less panicked. "But we should still keep moving." She moved Ezra's arm over her shoulders and pulled him up.

Ezra blinked sluggish at her as he somehow got his feet underneath him. "I-I'm sorry…" he murmured.

"Just keep walking," she said, her voice clipped.

He winced slightly at her tone but managed to obey. Just one foot in front of the other. Try not to think about how cold he was…

He lowered his shields just enough to reach out and feel his bond with Kanan. At the moment, it was the only source of warmth he could find. I'm sorry, he thought, although he didn't broadcast it to his father. He didn't want Kanan to know what he had just done. Not yet. For right now, Ezra was going to settle into the numbing cold and just… drift.


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