AS-Tracy: i can't go.

He delivers the news lying flat on his back on the floor, because that's just the posture appropriate to how disappointed he is, and how big a disappointment he's about to be. It's still early in the morning on Tracy Island, and not too much later in Seoul. Brandon might not be awake yet. Alan kind of hopes he isn't, but knows by now that with all the travel he does, Brandon doesn't exactly keep to a sensible sleep schedule, and whether or not he's asleep at any given hour is a roll of the dice.

He winces when he sees the colour of his text on the screen shade from translucency into opacity, as it's acknowledged as sent, received, and read by its recipient. He starts to hold his breath, waiting for the answer, but has to let it go, because it takes Brandon that long to respond.

BBBrrngr: man, wtf! unfair!

AS-Tracy: I'm sorry

He almost adds a little frowny face, time-honored, tried and tested expression of regret that it is, but at the last moment decides that it seems trite. Childish. He's twenty years old now, after all. Or, nearly, anyway.

BBBrrngr: omg is it cuz they're making you work?

BBBrrngr: ITS

BBBrrngr: UR

BBBrrngr: BIRTHDAY!

Only on this side of the International Date Line. And his family's been known to be a little bit fluid in their celebration of birthdays, sometimes honoring them according to the timezone of one's actual birth, if it allows everyone else that little bit of extra leeway to manage to be in the right place at the right time, for cake and candles and whatever presents get slipped under their family's embargo on gifts. So while it's already March 12, 2062 on Tracy Island—Kansas is still far enough behind that they can cheat it.

AS-Tracy: no that's not it

If he were working that might be better, but the truth is that none of them are working, and his birthday has nothing to do with the reason he can't go to Seoul. He can't go to Seoul because he has to go to Kansas—the whole family does. And they're pretending it's because it's his birthday, but Alan knows better. Their family needs an excuse to reconvene on neutral ground to discuss what John's taken to referring to as the "current state of affairs", and that has nothing to do with the fact that Alan's turning twenty.

BBBrrngr: why the hell then

AS-Tracy: we're going out to Kansas. kinda for my birthday, kinda for a family meeting. mostly the meeting.

BBBrrngr: omg cuz of ur brother and his gf amd the baby?

AS-Tracy: guess so. i dunno there's kind of a lot of crap going on. john's not talking to scott. dunno why. virgil's like SUPER depressed all of a sudden. also dunno why. kayo took off to do some GDF things, but when scott called the gdf they said they didn't ask for her, so we don't know where she really went or when she's coming back. and gordon wants everybody to come out to the farmhouse, so we're gonna go. leaving in like a couple hours.

BBBrrngr: TOTALLY sounds like a bitchin good bday party crew. lucky you. gonna be a rager.

The sarcasm isn't Brandon's usual style, and it stings, even if Alan knows that it's not directed at him, but at his family, for ruining his birthday.

AS-Tracy: yeah well "rager" might be a p good word for it. i dunno. everything's so mixed up right now. I don't know why I have to go, I don't wanna deal with all their BS. I wish I could just go to Seoul and hang out with you. it was gonna be so fun.

BBBrrngr: man D: D: D:

BBBrrngr: and im already here and now ur not coming

Brandon is a year and a half older than Alan is, and has no compunction about the perceived childishness of the average emoji. It doesn't make up for the fact that he won't be able to go, but there's a certain subtle gratification to how upset Brandon is that Alan won't be joining him in Seoul. There's also a not-so-subtle frustration on Alan's part that this whole thing had fallen through at absolutely the last minute, and he's just expected to roll with it.

AS-Tracy: i'm really really sorry, B

BBBrrngr: aw no don't be. it's ur b-day, don't say sorry for anything

BBBrrngr: i'm sorry ur family is being stupid

BBBrrngr: do u know if ur brother and his gf decided about the maybe baby?

AS-Tracy: nah. he hasn't really been in touch. I was up with John on TB5 for a few days and we kinda talked about it a bit and J says it's not really any of our business until it is.

BBBrrngr: fair nuff fair nuff

BBBrrngr: but if he wants a family meeting tho...

AS-Tracy: i mean he also said he has a surprise for all of us, soooooooo i dunno.

John had been the one to deliver Gordon's invitation to the family, along with the news that he would be down to the island in the next few hours, and that he'd already worked up a flight plan and an itinerary for their departure. He'd made passing mention of the "surprise" Gordon had promised, and when Alan had called back to ask him about it again privately, John had just shaken his head and said it probably wasn't what Alan thought it was. Alan hadn't known what he thought it was, and so he hadn't known what to make of that, and John, if he'd known or not, had regardless refused to elaborate.

It's all very stupid.

AS-Tracy: i really just don't know man. i don't know anything at all. is that how turning twenty just is? every year goes by and i think i'm finally gonna feel like a grownup but for real these days i don't know if i want that, if it's all gonna be stuff like this. i'm not ready for it.

BBBrrngr: kinda don't think any of this shit's on u, al. ur just along for the ride and its whatever.

BBBrrngr: also tho adults suck

BBBrrngr: don't be one

BBBrrngr: i'm not

AS-Tracy: lol no, I guess you're kind of not. I think maybe I kind of have to be, though.

BBBrrngr: nah. dont let em do that to u

BBBrrngr: listen if theres gonna be a baby then they're gonna NEED a fun uncle. ur fun brother is outta the running cuz he's gotta be their dad, so ur gonna have to step up ur game and make sure u stay fun

BBBrrngr: and i'm gonna get u out here and give u personal lessons in how to be fun because i think you maybe don't know how

AS-Tracy: i'm plenty fun.

BBBrrngr: sure bud.

The period on the end of the sentence stings. That's mean and it hurts Alan's feelings, but he pretends it doesn't. He pretends that lately he doesn't take literally everything Brandon says a little extra personally, and that that reality isn't one that keeps him up nights, sometimes. A sullen, still-childish, resentful little part of his soul has a smug little flash of satisfaction that he can't actually make it to Seoul, if Brandon Berringer thinks he isn't any fun anyway. Seconds tick by as he leaves Brandon spitefully on read, trying to formulate a response that will sting almost but not quite as much.

But before he can come up with anything appropriately scathing (Alan isn't especially good at scathing), Brandon starts to type. And without quite meaning to, Alan holds his breath again.

BBBrrngr: that wasn't really what i meant.

BBBrrngr: i dunno al, sometimes i just think u got too much to worry about. ur only 20. u don't even get to have ur birthday how you want. sometimes i just wanna like

BBBrrngr: steal u.

BBBrrngr: and then u could come hang with me and we'd do all the fun shit u don't get to do because of ur family and your rocketship and ur job and how u live on a stupid island and i've never even met u for real when were supposed to be friends

BBBrrngr: i don't have tons of friends and i know u don't either

BBBrrngr: augh i dunno. i'm being a jerk. sorry.

Alan would not strictly mind being stolen off the island right about now. He's lying on the floor of his bedroom in his pajamas, still painfully aware that he needs to get up and get dressed and then fly a Thunderbird across the monotony of the Pacific Ocean for a whole six hours.

AS-Tracy: well. you're not wrong, I guess.

BBBrrngr: i mean! i dont know if ur any fun because i haven't ever met u. that was supposed to be today.

BBBrrngr: but it's okay that it's not

BBBrrngr: and hey so i wasn't gonna do it when u were gonna be here, but since im here and ur not, if u want i can liveblog everything

BBBrrngr: no wait

BBBrrngr: not liveblog it, actually, just like for u, like a private stream or w/e

BBBrrngr: i know lots of cool places in seoul and this way i can still show u all of them so u know where to go when u do get to come

BBBrrngr: ill do it on my main channel but i'll put a password on it so ur the only one who can watch

BBBrrngr: for like a birthday present. k?

AS-Tracy: whoa

AS-Tracy: that would be awesome.

Alan is not a habitual viewer of Brandon's livestreams, and as far as he can tell, they both prefer it that way. He's long since learned that the aspect of himself that Brandon presents to his viewership is something of a persona, and that in private he's somewhat self-conscious about it. The unrelenting bombast with which Brandon Berringer seems to do everything when he's on camera is at least partially manufactured, though it is the genuine by-product of the zeal with which he moves through life in general. Alan wonders how different he'll be for an audience of one, especially when the audience is him.

BBBrrngr: yeah? ok if ur cool with it, then i'll get set up to do it when i head out from the hotel room :D

AS-Tracy: i'd really like that, man, thanks

BBBrrngr: hell yeah!

AS-Tracy: i don't know if i can watch the whole thing, but I'll watch as much as I can

BBBrrngr: lmao i dont xpect u to watch a whole like 10 hrs of me screwin around in seoul.

Alan refrains from informing Brandon that he absolutely would, because that's going to come across as a little too intense, and also not possible, when he has to get up and get dressed and go start Thunderbird 2's preflights—which after a week of sitting idle in the hangar will take an hour at least. Then, with Virgil still unfit to fly it himself, Alan has to be the one to pilot the great green monstrosity to the other side of the planet, along with the rest of the family, plus Grandma and minus Scott, who's decided to take himself, solo, in TB1. The entangled familial politics that informed that particular decision are lost on Alan, at least partially by choice.

AS-Tracy: I should probably go start getting ready.

BBBrrngr: yeah me too, now i gotta figure out my cameras and get some stuff set up over here. lemme know when ur around, k?

AS-Tracy: I will

BBBrrngr: cool. happy b-day, Al. hope im the first one who said it.

AS-Tracy: yeah, you are. thanks B 3

Alan's got reflexes like lightning, and behind a console (gaming or otherwise) he's been known to react to an evolving scenario in a way that takes him out of the territory of the proficient and into the realm of the prodigious. But his fingers freeze against the screen of his phone, and this time his breath catches in his chest, involuntary, the same way those two innocuous little characters had skittered out into reality, abruptly making true something Alan hasn't even completely admitted to himself. The beat of his heart behind his breastbone becomes something suddenly apparent throughout the rest of him, a staccato pulse that emphasizes just what exactly he's just done, and the absolutely disastrous consequences that might result.

There's a tiny, merciful, fraction of a second—unnoticeable to anyone whose reflexes aren't as finely honed Alan's—where the text on the screen is still translucent, unseen and unacknowledged. But they were in the middle of the conversation, and they were about to say goodbye, and so thousands of miles away (but fewer thousands than usual) Brandon still has his phone in his hand, and of course the message shades into solidity almost instantly.

BBBrrngr: ur welcome 3

And suddenly this might just be the best birthday ever.