It was only getting colder. Each breath she puffed out trying to keep her inner warmness, a smoke of air was visible. She was glad that Peggy had packed warmer clothes for her as Beatrice wasn't nearly prepared for the onslaught of winter as much as the men around her seemed to be.
"Here!" Dum Dum Dogan passed her something soft, "I made mittens for ya'"
This man was full of surprises. She quickly pulled them over her shivering hands and thanked him.
They'd been 'camping' for two months now. With every passing second, Bea felt as if she was getting further and further away from finding the tesseract… from seeing Brooke again.
She was hardly able to keep up with the missions Steve loaded onto them. If they weren't blowing up Hydra bases, they would be travelling to their next camp where another Hydra base was supposed to be – or contacting SSR headquarters (the radios never seemed to want to work. God, she missed phones), or a bloody film crew would join them on their escapades for a chance to film some propaganda. Bea would have to hide away on those days, realising that in sixty years time a young Bea would be sitting in history class watching these videos and see her own face popping up on the screen.
What the hell was happening to her life.
"We split up, teams of two if possible but we need someone to take the left side-"
"I'll do it," Bea said unbothered.
"Don't be so quick," Falsworth quirked an eyebrow, "Let us be chivalrous for once."
"It's the easiest side," she pointed out, "I can stick one of those bombs you made on the side and boom! Down it goes."
This wasn't like when she did missions for Hydra, the focus of Steve's missions was their safety. She was glad to just get out of camping and if she was alone, she had more chance she could focus on finding the tesseract – that's if it was here. Which it never was.
"Bucky will team up with you then," Steve nodded his head at his friend, "He'll cover you with a sniper."
Bucky nodded once, and Bea knew for sure she'd be safe.
Steve gave instructions to everyone else about their positions but Bea was suddenly distracted by Bucky tugging her arm.
"I'll just be waiting up on that ridge," he pointed. They stepped in line together, bidding the others good luck on their mission. "I'll have your back the whole time."
"I better not see you using that sniper to check me out," she winked.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
She threw a snowy rug over at him that they were supposed to carry with the sniper at all times in these climates, "Put this over you too. It'll keep you camouflaged."
He rolled his eyes at her mothering but she insisted it was only to keep him safe.
"just don't be too distracting," He said.
She turned around to look at him one more time but found he was already settled on the floor, looking through the scope of his sniper but his upper lip smirked as she faced him and she knew he was looking through it at her.
"Pervert," She uttered softly. His smirk widened.
The Hydra base was just a little further up. From what she'd heard from Steve, it wasn't a very active base – more used as a storage facility and all she had to do was place a bomb on one of the outer sides, set off the timer and flee before she got caught up in the explosion. It was unlikely Red Skull would be there with the tesseract, but she held out her wrist anyway and used Stark tech to scan the area for energy signals.
Other than the typical readings she got with Hydra weapons being stored there, nothing new appeared. Sighing, her arms flopped back to her sides in defeat. Would this mission ever end? Every time she thought she was done with Hydra, they were always there, even if they still only existed in the past.
A twist of wired fence enclosed the Hydra base like thorns reaching to the sky. Beatrice had come prepared. She pulled out a pair of pliers and clipped the wire away. Crawling on her belly underneath the gap she created, her clothes got crunches of dirt squished into the material.
The mellowed day offered little cover as she did a double skip to get to the edge of the base quicker.
A Hydra agent weighted down by his gun, came around the corner. Suddenly a fast whizz passed her ear. The ringing drummed. Expecting the fatal shot of a Hydra come. she winced –
Nothing happened. Waiting a second, she opened her eyes and saw the Hydra agent slammed against the base walls. Blood oozed from his head, and she came to the conclusion Bucky had dealt with it for her. Trying not to give his position away, Bea smiled to thank him.
Making sure no one else was coming, she pulled the wire-y looking bomb from her satchel. With no clue how to handle one, all she'd been instructed was to stick it on the wall and pull the red wire. Then, the countdown would begin.
Truth be told, actually holding it in her hands frightened her half to death. Her fingers shook handling the small item as she pinned it against the brick, praying that it wouldn't fall and accidentally implode but true to Mortia's word it stayed put.
Her hand hovered over the red wire, getting ready to run. She was told that there would be a two-minute countdown. Therefore, there was plenty of time to run back to Bucky and wait for the magic of explosions to happen.
This explosion would then send Hydra into chaos as guards would be sent to investigate and the rest of the Howling Commandos would make their way in. Her job was really the easiest bit. She just had to do it quickly.
She counted down from five. Breathing in deeply. Pushing back a chasm of all things that could go wrong in the back of her mind. She was setting off a literal bomb. She hadn't even done this when she was at Hydra-
All of a sudden, a shot rang out from behind her. She ducked. One hand rushed to protect her head. The other gripped the bomb tightly-
It was just Bucky. She thought when she hadn't been shot… but that didn't explain the pounding footsteps slapping against the mud getting louder by the-
Viciously, her feet were tackled underneath. fingers jerked from its place. She tried to hold on but instead slipped. The red wire clinking out of the place and the bomb gave a sizzled whirl and a loud ticking noise fizzled.
"Fuck no!" Beatrice cried. But she couldn't get up as someone lay on top of her.
Heaving to get up, the Hydra agent just threw her back down. His gloved hand reaching around the small of her neck. Suddenly squeezing. Tightening. She tried to clutch onto his hand. Tried to pull him off. But he was much too strong-
The bomb ticked madly. She wasn't sure how long it had been. But at this right second, she didn't care… she wanted air… she needed air. Her lungs tried to maintain what it could but his hands were so tight.
Her gun. Her gun was still at her side!
Wiggling her arms around. She found it impossible to move. Strapped down, she attempted to swallow down the panic… in these situations, it would be the panic that killed you. The Panic stopped the ability to think straight. The bomb ticked on. Maybe if she could reach the device on her wrist she could zap back to present time…
But she needed the tesseract!
Her legs thrashed around pointlessly, trying to aim for the back of the Hydra soldier laying on top of her. It was no good. He wouldn't budge. The energy she had was being kept in keeping her conscious. There wasn't enough force in her legs.
What was the point if she died here now?
In a last attempt, she used the sharp edges of her nails. Clawing at whatever she could reach. His hands. His arms... the adam's apple of his neck – he loosened only slightly.
It wasn't enough.
She was going to die…
As if by some miracle. His hand uncurled themselves from her neck. Her lungs expanded scooping in the delights of air it had been deprived from. She span on her side, spluttering. Chocking- something like the sound of pounding fists could be heard behind her. She couldn't concentrate. Her fingers gripped onto the grass in desperation to cling to something.
"BEA! BEATRICE!" Bucky's voice called and a hand was on her back, forcing her to roll over and face him.
"I-I… b-breathe…" chocked Beatrice. Shakily, reaching up and clawing at her own throat. She willed air to rush through it.
"Take a deep breath," Bucky's voice seemed to echo as if he was out of breath himself, "Just – give me your hand… I'll get us outta here. That bombs about to go off."
"I-I… I can stand," but her feet wobbled as she tried too and she had to rely on Bucky's arm.
"Come on."
"T-thanks… for coming," each word felt like someone trying to climb up her throat with grappling hooks.
"I tried to snipe him but I could have hit you. You scared me half to death" When they reached the fence he helped her down but Bea then noticed something missing around her waist – her satchel.
"W-W-ait!" She coughed, staggering up.
The satchel must have been dropped from her hands when the Hydra agent ran at her.
"Bea, the bombs going to go off any second. We've got to go…"
"The satchel!"
He kept a firm grip on her arm, preventing her from going any further, "It's just a satchel it can be replaced."
"Brooke's picture is in it!" She urged, tugging further but all her strength was lost and Bucky span her around and tried pushing her through the hole. She fought back, kicking out at him…
She couldn't lose that. It was all she had left. Months she'd been without her… Months! That picture was the most important thing to her. There wasn't any energy left in her to care about the tesseract in that moment. This small creased up photo of a smiling five-year-old was all she had.
Bucky managed to push Bea to the other side. Preventing her from climbing back through, she looked around for alternative methods. The satchel was just lying there. If he would let her run back, she could grab it within five seconds.
She started climbing the fence, forgetting the barbed wire that ran across the top of it.
"Don't be stupid!" Bucky scrambled through the hole himself and when he was on his feet, grabbed her around the waist and dragged her back, "you're going to get yourself killed!"
"Let go!" She screamed, probably alerting every Hydra agent that they were there, "that picture is irreplaceable."
"So are you," Bucky fought, "If you go back there then your daughter will lose her mother…just… stop… fighting me. OW!"
She had reached around and slapped his arm in an attempt to break free. It only made him grip on tighter
"BROOKE!" She wailed. Her throat ripped out a cry. Her arms thrashed about wildly until Bucky could no longer hold her and the two both crashed to the floor. Never giving up. She continued to resist his arms that snaked around her body like he was gripping onto her for dear life.
No sooner had they hit the grass did a spike of fire spit into the air. Sparks blemished the sky. The scream of an explosion echoed across as rocks were spat back. Beatrice felt the pinch of her arm as Bucky gripped her tightly. With one slight tug, he flipped her over so he lay on top of her. The debris washing over them like ash.
In the far distance, she could hear the gunfire of the rest of the Howling Commandos breaking into the compound.
"No… no… no…"
That was the only piece of Brooke she had on this earth. The only evidence that she existed.
Now it was nothing but a burnt piece of nothing. Ash. Just like her dad.
"Bea… I'm sorry," Bucky breathed, still on top of her, trying to hold her as she sobbed into his chest. Suddenly, breathing became difficult. Like the Hydra Agent's fingers were curled around her throat again.
"She's gone…"
"Hey," Bucky sharply shook his head and tugged at her chin to pull her eyes away from the smoking hole in the Hydra base. She couldn't even see where the satchel was anymore covered by all the debris, "She is not gone. She's very much alive at home in Brooklyn."
"She's in England," Bea stared unfocused. Her body turning an odd coldness and it wasn't the effect of the snowy air around her, "I took her there before I came here. I wanted her to be safe."
"Well there you go," Bucky nodded confidently, "She is safe. That picture isn't her. She's still safe. Okay?"
No. It wasn't okay. Nothing would be okay again.
"I'm never going to see her again…" Her heart did a double beat before stopping completely. The numb coldness twisting around that too.
"Don't say that," Bucky scolded sharply, "Don't ever say that. Of course you are."
"The tesseract. It's not here. It's never here. I'm never going to find it."
Her eyes must have drifted back over to the aftermath of the explosion as he pulled her back to look at him again.
"We will find it," he promised, "and nothing's going to happen to you."
She could feel their heartbeats pulsing together. In tune with each other. In a moment of their eyes searching one another, Bea found the promise she had been longing for in them. The promise that he would not let her die here in the 1940s without finding the tesseract. Not that he knew she was from any other time period and needed to get back.
Closing her eyes, she took shallow breaths. She hated lying to him most of all. But what else could she do? And now she had lost her picture of Brooke, she was more detached from the modern world she knew than ever before. She needed him.
Her lips quivered as she opened her eyes again, soaking in his features as he was so close to her. God, she missed him. Ever so suddenly her arms were around his neck and she wept into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
"Don't be sorry," He rested his head into the crook of her shoulders. She could feel his breath tickling her skin.
"I just want to go home so badly."
"I'm with you on that one," he pulled apart but they still remained close, "Just try not and get yourself blown up and maybe we'll make it back."
She scoffed out a laugh when he sent her a pleading look. "I think I can just about manage that."
The spray of bullets that rebounded in the distanced reminded them that today's mission wasn't over. Forcibly, she tore her eyes away from his but the bubble of butterflies, unfortunately, didn't disappear with it. She'd known this man for years and still her heart throbbed from being so close to him. Bucky seemed to get the hint too, as he rolled off of her and climbed up towards where his sniper still was. She wished he hadn't as she had to lay there for a moment longer to catch her breath.
She arched her back into the grass, mindful of the dirt now dusting her hair and lazily watched the clouds stroll by. A waft of smoke rising from the Hydra base clouded the air. She closed her eyes. The wind pricking cold spikes into her but it was a hard reminder that she was alive, she was here. And whilst she was alive, she could complete her mission and return to Brooke.
Frowning, she tried to remember every detail of the photograph. Goodness knows she'd opened it enough times to remember. Her brunette hair in mismatched scrunches and grin so wide you could see a few teeth missing. Brooke posed for the photo, her hands firmly on her hips displaying her perfect sass. Perhaps she didn't need the photo anymore with the image seared onto her memory.
Even with her eyes closed she felt a shadow block the sunlight still hinting through her lids. Her nose scrunched up as her moment of peace was ruined. She opened her eyes.
Bucky's hand was reaching out towards her.
"Come on," He urged, stretching his hand out to meet hers. He had his sniper pinned to his other arm, "better move closer to the action. Can't expect that punk, Steve, to survive without our help."
"Course not," She agreed wholeheartedly, accepting his hand as he heaved her up to her feet, "Thanks again."
"Don't mention it."
*~It started with Pizza~*
The celebrations following was short-lived as from the Hydra battlefield, Steve had to carry Falsworth out of there. His leg stripped with red blood. A bullet hole grazed in the centre of the wound. He had hobbled on Steve's shoulders until Beatrice had the sense to run and get the stretcher from the back of the truck.
"He'll be alright," Steve frowned with concern for his friend that night.
The camp loomed with misery instead of celebration. Falsworth's cries of pain echoing throughout the night. Dogan attempted to deal with his wounds by pouring alcohol on the surface. Falsworth screamed in agony, pleading for them not to take his leg and to contact his wife. Beatrice knew his leg would be fine – they had got to him quick enough and the bullet was already out – but it didn't make it any easier to watch.
Seeing him suffer, made her ever regret crying over a small picture that she had copies of back at home.
"He's going to be out of action for the next few weeks," said Mortia as he left his friends side to inform Steve on what was happening. Blood soaked his fingertips.
"You shouldn't be seeing this, doll," Dogan turned to Bea.
She rolled her eyes, "Because I'm a woman? Let's not mention the fact I've seen a lot more blood than all of you boys."
"Whilst Falsworth gets better, we should go back to Headquarters," Steve nodded surly, using his 'Captain' voice, Bea so rarely saw these days, "He can recover better there and we can update them on what our next move is."
"And you can see Peggy," Winked Beatrice, earning a laugh from around the group at Steve's expense.
His ears tinged a pink colour and he swallowed a nervous lump. Quickly, he interjected, "That's enough of that."
"When you next see her, perhaps you can actually apologise to her for kissing another woman." Irritating Steve was too fun. For too long he'd critised her for how she acted, now was her chance to get payback. Playfully, she poked a tongue out at him to make sure he knew she was joking. Steve rolled his eyes at her, sighing like an old grandpa scolding his granddaughter for disrespectful behaviour. It was with this thought that she was swiftly reminded that in this period she was the older one of the two, and her heart almost gave out on her.
"That's enough bullying Steve for one day," Bucky jabbed her arm, "come on, we've got to sort out your head."
"My head?" There was nothing wrong with her head? She frowned innocently, but Bucky pointed up and she touched the spot he pointed at. Wincing tightly, she felt the opening of a large gash slashed across her forehead. When had she done that?
In his hands, Bucky held a medkit. He tried to pull her to sit down.
"Falsworth literally got shot and you're really going to tend to me over this."
"And we've tended to him first. He's now fine." He pointed out rather obviously. "Now we can focus on you."
"Was your focus ever really off of her?" She heard Dogan laugh to himself from the other side of camp.
From the medkit he pulled a few wipes and a bandage. She carefully watched him pour his own flask of whiskey onto the back of the wipe. He opened the flask with his mouth and Beatrice had to dig her feet firmly in the ground, remembering all too well what that mouth could do – not now Bea!
"This might hurt."
"Please," Bea groaned, "I think I can handle – holy shit ow!"
He poured the alcohol-soaked rag straight onto her head. "I did warn you."
"You didn't have to do it that quickly!"
"I could have done it slowly and made the pain last longer? Look," He pulled the rag away and showed her the dried blood, "All clean now."
Before she could complain he inched closer and began to wrap the bandage around her head. She tried to stay still but winched every time he got too close to her wound. She was sure he was teasing her as each time she flinched away he would 'accidentally graze it' another five more times, a smirk struggling to stay off his face.
"Stop enjoying this. It hurts."
"You barely noticed it until I pointed it out."
She couldn't help but smile to herself. The close proximity. His steady breathes as he concentrated on tying the bandage up. A sliver of his tongue poking out between his teeth. He finished the knot. Every now and this his eyes travelling to her lips. She pretended she didn't notice, feeling the rush of a blush heat up. All of this was becoming all too familiar.
Most of the Howling commandos had headed off to bed. Steve stayed up to keep watch at the edge of camp, and the only man that could be considered in hearing distance of them was Falsworth as he fidgeted a sweat, painfully clutching onto his leg. He was in no state to listen (or care) on what they said to one another.
No sooner had she looked around camp to check they were alone did Bucky do the same thing, and there eyes locked on one another. Softly, his fingers reached to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. It was with his hand Bea still wasn't quite used to and when his fingers lightly stroked her cheek in circles, she hindered her own hand over it, carefully examining every inch of it from her touch.
"How are you doing since losing the picture?" Bucky asked a moment later, stilting the perfect silence ringing between them.
"I can hardly complain with Falsworth getting shot in the leg. It's only a picture, and it was my stupid fault for losing it. I shouldn't have put it in the satchel."
"You're far from stupid," he glared at her own assessment of herself, "I lost my family picture because I put it in my jacket and then a few months ago I had to run through water. It came out completely ruined. If I'd have left it in my satchel, I might still have it. There are no guarantees in this war. There's no time to beat yourself up over it."
She appreciated his attempt at consoling, and as usual he did a good job, but she couldn't deny the deep hole hindering in her heart making her feel like she'd just lost her daughter. Even if it was just a photo. No words could console her from that loss.
"I suppose we could always do what Steve does, and put a picture in a compass. Maybe we wouldn't lose it."
Bucky barked a laugh, "true. I don't know what that woman's done to him, but I've never seen him so hung up on someone."
Eighty years later and he would still be thinking about the same woman. "Can't blame him. Peggy is kinda perfect."
"If you say so." He side-eyed her.
Please. He was almost baiting her to challenge him. Putting on an innocent smile, she coyly asked, "Do you not think she's perfect too? She is very beautiful."
"I don't know but I know that I'm no longer comfortable answering this question."
She didn't blame him. Any man who had eyes would be attracted to Peggy. She was the definition of perfect. Her make up always done right no matter what time of the day she woke. Her hair curled in the 1940's perm that Beatrice always wished she knew how to do. She even walked confidently with a swagger to her hips.
In fact, Bea was most definitely a little bit in love with her.
For some reason, Bucky being attracted to her didn't flame up the usual aggression of jealousy. Not the type that she felt when she first arrived here and she saw him double glancing at a nurse. Perhaps it was because she knew Steve and Peggy were meant to be. Or maybe it was the way his eyes lingered on hers now.
Partially, over the ten years she'd known Bucky, there had always been a part of her that felt like he only loved her because she had been kind to him and if he had been a regular person, without the curse of Hydra, he wouldn't have looked at her twice. The final proof that, that had in fact been a lie resided in the glossy-eyed stare she was receiving from the man before her. Their hands tightly connected as he ran his thumb in circles around hers.
He was falling for her all over again. She knew it. As she had seen the similar stares he was giving her now back when she first met him. Then, she had denied what she had seen. Not understanding how the actual Winter Soldier could fall for someone like her, but there was no denying this.
She was tricking him. Making him believe they could possibly have a future together… oh, but how she wanted it. The temptation to stay, unclasp her time GPS strap and throw it in the next river they came across was enough to make her go crazy. She had already failed in getting the tesseract… failed her Bucky. Why couldn't she live this beautiful simple lie for the rest of her life…
Brooke. Brooke was why.
"I think I can think of a much more beautiful woman."
They'd moved closer together. Their connected hands tightly holding onto one another and she could feel his nerves rioting around his body as when she shuffled closer. Her heart jumped in delight at the small touch. Beating so fast she couldn't get a breath of air in.
Desperately, she decided she could live this lie for a little longer. Just a little.
The familiar feel of his lips met hers. She hadn't forgotten. You don't forget those types of things.
She'd been waiting for so long for this. Her fingers unleashing from his hands to grip tightly onto his coat. Pulling him as close as she could bring him. Five years of pent up frustration fuelled into the kiss. But it seemed he wasn't quite ready for that, as it was only when the kiss deepened did Bucky pull away. Offering her one or two pecks in the absence of her passion.
It took a moment for them to regain their senses. Bucky blinked back in shock. "I guess that means you feel the same?" Bucky frowned with seemingly permanent confusion, when they first pulled apart. It wasn't quite the facial expression she had been expecting after their 'first' kiss together.
"I guess." Her heart pounded in unison with the beat of panic charging through her head. What would this mean now?
Bucky pondered on this for a moment. His hands still laced around hers. Suspecting that was a good sign, she tried to stop uncomfortably squirming.
Finally, Bucky ducked his head shamefully.
That wasn't good.
"That wasn't very gentlemanly of me," he sighed with defeat as if he's just heard the news his puppy had died, "I… I could have at least invited you on a date first."
"A date?" Bea raised her eyebrows questioningly. Her eyes running around the forest surrounding them. Nothing but trees and Hydra agents on patrol existed around them, "Where could you have possibly have taken me which wouldn't have ended with one of us getting captured? I don't know what your idea of a date is but being taken hostage by Hydra isn't in my top ten ideal dates."
Bucky didn't offer her a response in a dialect form, but instead planted his lips on hers again. A short and sharp peck was all she really needed to cause a brilliant smile to stretch across her face.
"Go on a date with me," He urged. A new kind of excitement taking over him, "Back in Brooklyn. When the war's over. And we're back home. I want to take you to Coney Island and I'll ask you to be my girl at the top of the highest coaster."
My girl. She would say yes right here and then.
Though to be fair, if he'd asked her to marry her then and there, there would have been little to stop her.
A/N
Sofiarose613: I'm confident you'll be 'okay' with what I choose to do with Steve about going back in time. I say okay in quotation marks because really... none of us will ever be okay losing Steve. I cried like a baby in the cinema. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
SilverIce523: thank you so much for letting me know you enjoyed last chapter. I'm never too sure, it feels like it's been so long since I wrote Bucky and sometimes I think 'would he actually say that?'. I'm out of practise! lol. It's so hard to write a developing love story between two characters when one character already knows the other side completely so thank you for the review and glad you liked it!
Guest (Mm): I know the name change is a bit surprising but thank you for continuing to re-read the fic once again
