Okay, so WOW!
I'm back!
This coronavirus thing has thrown so much out of whack. So sorry that it's taken so long, faithful followers and reviewers!
I've been struggling with mental health the past couple months, so I really had to take a break from writing and pretty much everything to deal with that because it was so hard and taking up so much of my life. I'm still deep in the recovery process, but it's going well and I'm back to writing!
One interesting fact, though: a lot of my experiences with terrible anxiety attacks I've put into Bucky's panic attack in the last chapter. I updated it based on that knowledge a couple weeks ago and I think it really packs a punch. It's also super personal as well.
Responding to some reviews!
Squeegee Beckinhime: Awww, thank you so much! I appreciate it :D
Guest: Thanks for your compliments! I'll spend a really long time on descriptions sometimes xD
Hopefully I'll have more time to write now that we're all cooped up at home!
Man, I'm excited for this change in Tony...
Enjoy, y'all!
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Avengers movies, the Marvel franchise, or any of the characters. That all belongs to Marvel Studios. Everything to Marvel Studios. Any added dialogue, plots, or characters are mine, but nothing else. I don't own it.
Chapter Fifty-Six - Taking Care In Hiding
"I'm trying to get into character– stop bugging me."
Bucky growls. "Fine. Keep me updated."
I grumble under my breath, low enough that Bucky can't hear me. "Gotta get upstairs. How'm I gonna get upstairs? Elevators, he said?"
"There should be an elevator at the end of this floor if I remember correctly."
Yep.
I'm proud of myself. Found a way to get away from Barnes once and for all.
I can't get distracted by him. I've got a mission to complete and Barnes'll only get in my way.
I lift my arm and deaden the comms line. The static in my ears fades.
I scoff. Take that, Barnes. You can't try to make amends now. We've got our missions, but we're doing this separately.
I adjust my mask and shift the positions of the HYDRA gear. Heat suffocates me and I clear my throat. "Gods, the humidity's so high that it's choking me." The baggy pants puff around knee-high boots. Underneath the fabric, sweat trickles down my legs.
I haven't wet my pants. I'm just sweating. A lot.
I scan my current outfit.
And rightly so. This thing is so thick that if someone filled my clothes with air, I'd be saying hello to space.
The halls prove absent, my backup gun unused.
Ten minutes. No agents to fight.
Twenty. Thirty.
Still no one.
My footsteps click on the floor. I narrow my eyes as I turn a corner. The agents… I can't find any of them. Danger crawls down my spine.
Time drawls forward. I make so many rights and lefts that by the end of my patience, I can't recall how long it's been.
Did I make a left before? Or a right?
Come on, Barnes, why couldn't you have given me an address to Rumlow's office? Is it that hard?
I twist my back and it creates sound akin to bursting popcorn.
The end of this floor, Barnes? How long is this floor anyways? I'm getting bored.
I scrunch up my face and raise a gloved hand to remove my goggles.
At least this peace and quiet can give me some time to myself. This place is a wasteland. Does HYDRA have housekeeping? Or…maids? Someone to clean up? I should hope so, otherwise–
"Agent!"
I whirl around, almost tripping over my massive boots.
A HYDRA operative pokes his head around the corner, his beady eyes narrowed. "You lost?"
I clear my throat. Curses stream into my brain. I don't know how to be an HYDRA agent. That's Bucky's thing, not mine. "Uh, of course, sir."
This gets me a quirked eyebrow. "Elevators are this way, agent." He jerks his head opposite the way I'd been heading.
"No, I meant that I'm not lost. I know exactly where I'm going, sir. Confused you there, didn't I, Sprite-package? This heat's gettin' to me, I'll bet." I throw him a peace sign. I'm struggling. Help.
The agent shakes his head and ducks into a separate hallway. "I'll see you at the mandatory meeting then."
My stomach clenches and I inch behind him. Meeting? Crap, didn't know that. "Right behind you, sir. I considered skipping it, but…" I chuckle, scratching the back of my neck, "y'know how Mr. Boss Man is…"
His only response is a tsk with clenched fists.
I find enough sense in me to keep my mouth shut as I follow him.
He pivots around a corner and at the end of the hallway gleam two sets of mechanical sliding doors. As we approach, they loom over us like sentient robots, glaring from some high shadowed peak. They ripple silver in the flare of the agent's flashlight.
The HYDRA grunt stuffs the flashlight in a pouch and steps off to the elevator's side. He faces a slab of tech drilled into the concrete and taps the surface with a finger. The screen boots up with a handprint scanner and blue veins trickle around the device, much like a loading signal.
A rush of cold overtakes my mind. Handprint scanner. Barnes couldn't have mentioned that particular detail? The river of curses in my conscious grows to an ocean.
The agent slides off his glove and presses his beefy hand against the screen. In response, the technology blinks green and swipes to an audio sensor. A voice prompts him to state his full name.
"Gavin Slatley."
The word confirmed hovers on the screen and the elevator creaks open.
I nod to him as he shuffles into the entryway. I'll wait til he leaves. I'll wait til he leaves.
But he doesn't leave. He pauses. He turns. He gestures to the monitor. "Go ahead."
My mouth runs dry and I swallow. Hard. I find myself consulting the one person I'd never think to get help from.
What would Barnes do? What would Barnes do?
For a split second, I actually miss him. Maybe a little.
Really?
"Come on, agent. It's your turn."
Jolted from my thoughts, I take a few shaky steps toward the monitor. "Of course, of course. Technology is confusing, isn't it? I don't quite know how to work these things sometimes." I squat down and tilt my head to the side, pretending to examine the device. "Could you give me a rundown? A tutorial, perhaps?"
The agent– Gavin– squints and leans forward. He fumbles with his flashlight and a beam of luminescence pummels me in the face.
I recoil. "You son of a b– !"
"A comm." He frowns. "You've got a comm in your ear. Are you…?"
My knees lock and I lick my lips. "Y'know, Gavin, sir, we gotta keep in contact with Mr. Rumlow, don't we? He needs to be able to talk to us."
Gavin glares and rips something from his belt. "THIS," he taps a walkie-talkie, "is how we stay in touch. Or a headset in our helmets. Radio. Anything but a comm. Comms are for undercover ops and things of that sort."
"Well…" I shrug. "I found some of these yesterday and I thought I'd try them. They work great, let me tell you. I should– I mean, you should– Everyone's gotta try these sometimes, y'know what I'm saying, Gavin?" Perspiration leaks from every pore on my body. Oh, I'm dead. I'm so dead.
Gavin holds the walkie-talkie to his mouth. "Sir, we've got a potential breach– ."
I lunge forward and crack my fist into his face. An elbow to the stomach and the back of his head knock him out. He crumples to the ground with a clang way too loud for secrecy. I drag him out of the elevator and pass through the entrance.
The doors slide into each other and lock in place.
I rip my mask and goggles off and slump against the wall, deflating with a huge sigh.
I made it. I actually made it.
The labeled floor buttons beg for attention.
Floor Number One, the current location.
Floor Number Two.
Floor Number Three.
Sectors A, B, C, D, and E, the latter of which has a keyhole beside the letter and a caption reading: RESTRICTED - HIGH AUTHORITY ACCESS.
But which sector contains Rumlow's office?
I open the comms connection. "Barnes?"
A blast of static explodes in my ear. "Gods, Tony, where were you…?" His thin, feverish voice trembles with pain.
"I, um…" Pursing my lips, I discover that the reason for our lack of connection is harder to admit than I think. "I turned my comm off."
Bucky moans. "Of course you did. You didn't want to be distracted by your parents' murderer, so you shut it off. That's so you, Tony."
I huff. "No, I didn't do that!" The lie stings on my tongue.
"Okay, that's not true and you know it. You…" he inhales, sharp and raspy, "you hate me and make no attempt to hide it…" He trails off with a whimper.
I grit my teeth. Why do I feel bad? I shouldn't be feeling guilty. This is the Winter Soldier we're talking about. Not some sad puppy begging at my feet. "Hey, hey, what's going on? You sound like a dying candy cane, jackrabbit."
A few labored breaths follow my statement.
Barnes means nothing to me. He means absolutely nothing to me.
Always.
Right.
Right?
I can't answer my own question.
"Barnes, you with me?"
"You think, maybe, you could…hurry your own mission up a little?"
I snap to attention, however, not from annoyance, and the persistent thought repeats. Barnes means nothing to me. I push it away. "What? Why?"
Bucky exhales, shaking. "I'm-I'm so sorry, Tony…"
The weakness vibrating from his apology carries the likeness of a mewling, wounded kitten.
Barnes means absolutely nothing to me.
I open my mouth to make a joke and nothing comes out.
Insults and levity don't feel appropriate anymore.
Is it because…we might be leaning toward…
Friends?
I shake my head.
Of course not. Totally false.
Right?
"Bucky, what's wrong?"
A pause. "Wait…you just called me– ."
"Yep. Don't let it go to your head. Tell me what's wrong or I'm blasting through this entire base to squeeze it out of you."
Bucky shifts his position. "Tony…the GSW…it's badly infected."
I freeze in place. "Hang on, what? Infected?"
"Y-yeah…" Bucky barely whispers the word. "I've had a fever for…a good couple hours…" He slurs to a stop.
I bark through the speaker. "No, Barnes! Stay with me!"
"I'm-I'm here…just tired…"
"Listen to me, Barnes. I'll find out the day HYDRA plans to attack Headquarters, and that's it. What's the sector that Rumlow's office is in? It goes from A to E."
"It's usually…high up, but not all the way. Try…D…"
"Thanks, jackrabbit. In the meantime, try as hard as you can to get to Rogers and Romanoff's cell. I'll come see you after I'm done, got it?"
"'Kay…"
"Good. Don't die on me, Barnes. I'll be there as quick as I can." I end our communication line and yank myself to my feet.
A nagging thought pushes against my mind, one that I can't ignore, and it catches me off guard.
Dang it, Barnes… Forget the things I've said before… I really do need you…
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Intentional repetition... WOOOO!
All righty y'all, I'm going to bed now xD I've spent too much time writing tonight, haha! Goodnight!
Read and review! Thanks for sticking around the past couple months!
