Mike gave him the short version when he asked:
"She said she did not want to put you into the position to have to decide between her – and the new alliances, and the president. Not when she wasn't certain what she was hiding from you. Not before she had figured out the layers. She said that moment in the car, driving home, the three of us –"
Tom twitched impatiently. He'd been there.
"-that was the nudge she'd needed to apply logic to the situation and figure out her own uncle's involvement."
"Mate, none of this is new, or unexpected. But something more must have happened. She was distraught over her uncle, but also… she mentioned Rachel."
Mike gave him a look that spoke of unease: "I thought that was done with."
"I thought so too."
Mike lifted his shoulders. "Think something changed for her – down in Arkansas, with… what happened?"
The commodore spread his finger uncomfortably. "No, not in that way, I didn't read her that way. Scared, haunted, yes, textbook about physical contact after an attempted rape, but she was already coming out of that."
Mike frowned, his expression…
Tom thrust out his chin a little: "Not being dismissive here, Mike. She's the most self-reflected, analytic mind I have yet seen. She might be angry at me, but this… she was trying for me to get angry, to let her go. To get something between us."
"So then what is between you two. Darien. Rachel – she brought her up. I still think Arkansas might have something to do with it all… but… the children? Should I ask Mhari? She missed Alvi most acutely. Maybe she has an idea…"
The tall girl tilted her head in exactly her father's way, making Tom smile inwardly. "From what I saw, I mean when I was there, everything was fine. She was happy with us." She hesitated for a fraction, then pressed her lips together.
Mike hadn't noticed. "Any idea where she might go?"
Mhari brightened. "Yes. She even asked if we had went there while she was gone. There is a music school on the southern border of the town." She screwed her face up at her father's rising brows. "There's rooms with instruments and all. Drums. Most are locked, but she can break locks. That's where she might go…"
"You think? Good brain, girl. Wonder where you got it from…"
Mike grinned at his daughter's expression.
At some point Mhari suddenly stood before him, alone, eyes serious. "You should talk to Ashley."
"Oh?"
"Something's been bothering her."
"Concerning?"
Mhari visibly refrained from rolling her eyes, turned and skipped away.
"Mike, that girl of yours is your spitting image."
The other man scoffed. "She's beautiful."
That surprised a grin out of the commodore. "She is. Your beauty is maybe more on the inside…"
Ashley was watching her with an expression the young woman could not fathom.
"What are you doing here?"
"I…"
"This should be Mum and Dad's room. You have no right to be here."
"Ashley?"
"You are not her!"
"I know that, Ash, I don't…
"I saw you that first night. Dad went upstairs."
"…?"
"He looked sad. He was worried for you when you were gone. I thought he would be sleeping downstairs now that you're back."
"Look, I've been gone for a long while. We've got a lot of things to figure out…"
"But you didn't. you don't. he's unhappy, I can tell. You're back, and he's unhappy. I've seen the way he looks at you."
"Things happened… there hasn't been time…"
"He said he wanted you to be a part of his life, of our life!"
"Gods, child!"
"I'm not a child! I'm his daughter!"
"That's not what I meant! Ashley, please!"
"Ashley. While I appreciate you looking out for me, there is a lot you don't yet know about what happened to Alviarin in that place. She's been hurt in more ways than you can imagine. And no – it's her story to tell. I think I might have hurt her, too, in my role of commodore."
His daughter's face darkened. She wanted to argue.
"I'm only, hear me, only asking you to question before judging. You saw a few looks, a few expressions. You would understand a lot more if you asked her what was going on. And Ash, just because I told you guys that she means a lot to me, doesn't mean that things can't develop gradually! You understand that, don't you?"
"But you said…" she tilted her head.
"Look, it's a weird world for both of us, and there's you guys to consider, too. Alvi's conflicted about Mum. Never think she would want to take her place..l. take her memory…" words failed the commodore.
"I think I know this, dad. She herself… said something once, about memory…"
Tom wiped a hand over his face. Ashley's thoughtful expression brought him back to the subject at hand.
"And now this happened to her, and she has to work through it in her own way. We've all got to give this to her."
"How do you mean?"
"Things like this, her abduction, her relationship with the professor and his… friends… this is when we get to know each other better. How she reacts, how we – how I can help her get through it all. And still…"
"And still?"
"And still there's so much to do to get some kind of life back."
"Dad?"
"Yeah, monkey?"
"I'm sorry. I think I was mostly surprised. It was a shock…"
"To see her in my room?"
He smiled a little, mind running ahead.
"Think she'll be ok?"
The children didn't know about their … altercation of this morning. They didn't know the young woman had left, and him not all that certain she'd honour the promise he'd forced from her. They didn't know about their father's inner turmoil, the helpless frustration, the cruel self-doubt calling up all the little and big actions he wasn't too proud of concerning the Elf.
"I hope so, monkey."
