I do not own Star Wars in any capacity.
I'm sorry for the delay. I've had a lot of personal issues pop up in the last week, and it's made it impossible for me to focus.
Enjoy chapter 65!
As Ezra walked down the stone tunnel, the confidence that the Temple had imbued him with earlier was beginning to wane. It left Ezra filled with the same anxiety and uncertainty that had been plaguing him these last few days. He tried to keep his breathing even. He just had to stay focused.
But he didn't even know what he was going to be tested for. He wasn't sure even Kanan knew how this test was going to play out. All Ezra could do right now was to keep walking forward through his dimly lit tunnel. Where the light was coming from, he couldn't tell. Probably some mystical Force thing.
Eventually, the tunnel started to get darker. The rocky walls began to smooth out. Ezra frowned as he realized the material beneath his feet was no longer stone. It looked to be… durasteel?
Then there was a harrowing wail, making Ezra jump and spin around in search for the source. He couldn't find it, but it was followed by the sound of harsh sobbing. He could feel anguish and anger swirling around him. Ezra clutched at his chest from the rawness of the emotions as they scraped against him. He breathed evenly and reinforced his shields to keep them from completely overwhelming him.
The tunnel began to dissolve and eventually vanish, and Ezra's eyes widened as he realized he was standing on his relatives' ship. At first glance, he appeared to be alone save for the bitter sobs that echoed in the space. Then he turned toward the ramp, and he froze in horror.
His aunt and uncle were both kneeling on the ground with their backs facing were shaking as they sobbed, bent over a body. Sarah's body. Her gaze was lifeless as she stared at the ceiling, a large burn slash stretching across her torso.
Ezra slowly shook his head. No… No, she couldn't be dead. Even though he knew the Inquisitor was coming… would he really just kill her in cold blood? Just like that? It's not like she knew anything about being a Jedi…
Sarai suddenly turned, as if sensing him. Black make-up streaked harshly down her cheeks, her bloodshot eyes wide with a grief and anger. "You did this!" she screeched.
Ezra flinched and stepped back, cowering away from her. "N-No…" he whispered. There was nothing he could have done. He tried to warn her, he did!
Barnabas was suddenly on top of him. Ezra barely processed that he was pinned to the ground before he was punched across the face.
Ezra let out a pained yelp as he tried to crawl away, but his uncle was too heavy. Panic and horror tore through Ezra like wildfire as he was punched again, white lights flashing before his eyes. Old feelings of disgust and self-loathing were rising up in him.
You deserve this.
Bad boys need to be punished.
"NO!" Ezra cried out. That wasn't him. Not anymore.
His uncle was about to bring his fist down again when Ezra thrust his hand forward. Barnabas flew off of him and was pinned to the opposite wall. Sarai's eyes went wide before her expression twisted into one of maniacal rage. "You little…!"
Ezra flung his other hand out, pinning her to the wall next to her husband. He was gritting his teeth, pulling his lips back with a growl. "I am not a helpless kid anymore! What happened to Sarah is NOT MY FAULT!"
Something cracked, and Ezra was snapped out of his rage. The sickening cold had settled back in his stomach, and Ezra yanked himself back from the Force in horror. "I-I'm sorry, I - !"
His voice caught in his throat as he watched his relatives fall to the ground. Their eyes were glassy as they stared at Ezra in accusation. But he couldn't feel their hate in the Force. Not anymore. Their bodies were now just as still as their daughter's.
And standing between their bodies, staring at him with a mixture of horror and disgust… was Kanan.
All of the air was stolen from Ezra's lungs. He could feel his father's disgust through their bond, and it was like being stabbed in the heart. "K-Kanan…"
"What have you done?" Kanan asked in disbelief, as if he was hoping what laid before him wasn't real.
Ezra's blood was cold as he struggled to draw breath. "I… I…"
Kanan shook his head as his shoulders sagged. "After all this time, even with my training and my love… this is what you do with it?"
Hot tears started to fall down Ezra's cheeks as he looked helplessly between the broken bodies of his relatives and his father.
Kanan's lip curled into a sneer. "You've taken what I've taught you and turned it into something dark and repulsive." He let out a disgusted sigh. "You really can't do anything right… can you?"
Ezra stared down at his hands, his breath coming in short gasps. He had lashed out in anger and just killed his relatives. He had done what both Kanan and Master Nu had said was antithesis to being a Jedi. "I… I'm s-s-sorry…" he whimpered.
"You really think your apologies are going to make up for this?" Kanan said, his anger rising and prickling Ezra's mind like a thousand needles. He scoffed and looked away. "You were a waste of time."
His father turned and walked down the ramp of the ship, away from the grisly scene. A sob bubbled out of Ezra as he shook his head in denial. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't have kriffed up so badly that he would lose everything. He started to run after him. "K-Kanan, wait please…!"
He ran out the doorway only to find himself in complete darkness. He looked back but the ship and his relatives were gone. He spun around so quickly it made him dizzy, desperate to see anything. He groaned, pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead. What was going on? Where was he?
There was the hiss of a lightsaber, and he heard a cry of pain.
Ezra's head snapped up. "Kanan? Kanan?!"
He ran in the direction of the sound, only to find himself in an atrium made of stone. There were large columns down its length and a soaring ceiling.
The Temple. That's right! He was in the Temple on Lothal!
So what he saw before… it wasn't real? It was a vision? But if that was a vision, then where was Kanan?
There was a flash of red, and Ezra turned, his stomach dropping at the sight. "No…" he breathed in disbelief.
The Pau'an grinned as he looked down at Ezra. "I felt a disturbance in the Force the moment the Jedi decided to bring you here, padawan."
Kanan was behind him, gritting his teeth as he knelt on the ground and cradled his arm. As the Inquisitor spoke, he pushed himself to his feet and ignited his lightsaber. "Stay away from him!" he growled.
The Inquisitor exposed his pointed teeth. "Of course," he said cordially. Then he twisted around and swung his saber at Kanan. Kanan blocked and pushed it back, launching himself at the Inquisitor with a counter. The Inquisitor pushed it to the side, sliding along the length of Kanan's blade before Kanan twisted both his blade and himself away.
Ezra was frozen as he watched them exchange a flurry of blows. The Inquisitor was here. They had to get out, but Ezra turned and saw that the way in was still closed. How did the Inquisitor even get inside?
The Inquisitor swept his leg out and Kanan tripped, his body skiding against the stone ground.
Ezra grit his teeth and clenched his fists. He couldn't just stand here. With a yell, he ran forward, intent on tackling the Inquisitor.
The Pau'an thrust out his hand, and Ezra was stopped in his tracks. Something constricted around his neck, and Ezra choked as he was pulled into the air. He gasped and clawed at his neck, trying to relieve the pressure. Black spots danced across his vision as he kicked his legs, desperately trying to break free.
The pressure was suddenly gone, and Ezra fell to the ground in a heap, gasping and coughing. He could hear Kanan's yells and the clashing of blades as he fought the Inquisitor. Rubbing his neck, Ezra blinked away tears as he looked up. He had to help…!
Kanan and the Inquisitor had their blades locked together. Kanan's arms were shaking at the effort, and the Pau'an grinned. "It's time to end this."
The second blade of the Inquisitor's saber extended, and the blades began to spin. While Kanan managed to keep himself from getting hit, the constant barrage threw him off balance. The Inquisitor used this moment of weakness to thrust a hand forward and push him back. Kanan staggered to his knees, and he glared up at the Inquisitor with a scowl. He moved to stand…
… when the Inquisitor lunged forward and buried his saber into Kanan's chest.
Kanan's eyes went wide. The life slowly drained out of them. His hand went limp, and his saber fell and landed on the ground with a clatter. The threads of their bond frayed, unraveled, and finally snapped.
And all Ezra could do was let out a wordless scream.
The Inquisitor chuckled, turning toward Ezra. "Well that wasn't too difficult. Your turn."
The world tilted and swayed. Ezra was on his hands and knees. He stared down at the ground, his tears forming darkened spots on the dusty stone. The site of his bond with Kanan was pulsating with agony, an open wound that was weeping with despair.
Time... stretched... The Inquisitor couldn't be more than a few strides away, but the approaching cold was dulled and slow to grow. It was wholly insignificant to the yawning emptiness in the center of his chest. It cleaved him in two and wrapped around him like a blanket. The world went silent and fell away. All that remained was darkness and the sound of his own breathing.
In. Out.
In. Out.
And then the Force sang.
"The Force is energy. It's… well, it's everywhere. It's in every living thing. We're all connected and guided by it."
"Are you ready to die, boy? Or are you afraid to meet your demise?"
Ezra slowly sat back on his heels, looking up at the Inquisitor. The Force flowed through him, giving them a strength he had never before experienced. "No," he said quietly. He was afraid of failing himself and his family. He was afraid of losing Kanan. But he wasn't afraid to die.
The Inquisitor frowned at him, at his lack of fear. Then his lip curled into a snarl as he lifted his saber over his head.
Closing his eyes, Ezra let out a soft exhale. When people die, they aren't truly gone. They become one with the Cosmic Force. So if he really was going to die… at least he would be joining Kanan.
The Inquisitor let out a cry, and Ezra heard the lightsaber swing through the air.
But nothing happened.
Opening his eyes, Ezra saw that the Inquisitor was gone. He was staring into an empty atrium. Distantly, he was aware that he could still feel his bond with Kanan. It was quiet, but there nonetheless. He tucked his chin to his chest. Instead of being relieved, he was just drained.
A presence brushed against his mind. It was a soft touch. It wasn't Kanan. It was someone who felt… powerful.
"Big fears have you faced, young one."
It was the gravelly voice of an older man, with an accent Ezra didn't recognize. And yet, it felt oddly familiar. "Yes," Ezra replied with a whisper.
The voice hummed. "For what lies ahead, ready are you?"
It was a strange question. And yet, Ezra was confident in his answer. "I am."
"Come. See more clearly what you could not see before."
Ezra wrapped his arms around himself with a small frown. "W-Who are you?"
"A guide."
A golden light washed over him, and Ezra looked up to see a cloud of tiny lights gently floating around one another. Ezra's jaw dropped at the magical sight. He should be afraid - or at least wary - of this strange being, but instead he felt safe.
The cloud floated toward the doorway, and Ezra got up. He took a hesitant step forward. He knew he was meant to follow but there was still just a thread of fear. What if this was the wrong decision?
The lights hovered in front of him. It didn't speak, but Ezra could feel a warm tether beckoning him forward. It was like when Kanan would wrap his arm around his shoulder to reassure him.
Letting out a soft sigh, Ezra walked through the doorway and followed.
It was leading him down the same tunnel that he had walked down before. At least, he was pretty sure it was the same tunnel. But this time, the light got steadily brighter and brighter before it opened up to a small room with three doorways. The cloud stopped, and Ezra took a moment to look at each doorway. They all looked identical, leading into similar looking tunnels as the last. "W-Which way should I go?"
"The wrong question, that is."
Ezra huffed, his shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry, I don't understand." His arms tightened around his chest. "Kanan said I was going to be tested, but…" He felt bad for thinking like this, his voice lowering in shame. "He didn't even tell me what I was looking for."
"And your Master, tell you everything, must he?"
"I…" He looked up at the light cloud with a frown. "N-No."
"Your path, you must decide."
Ezra bit his lip. This was supposed to be some form of test, which meant he had to make his own decisions. This was what he wanted: to get stronger - better - so that Kanan didn't have to protect him anymore. And to prove that he could become a Jedi. So he let out an exhale and relaxed, letting the Force flow and guild him.
It was a gentle nudge, barely noticeable. But the direction was clear.
He looked at the center doorway, feeling confident. "Alright…" he breathed, walking forward. After what he had just seen, he knew he could face whatever else the Temple could possibly throw at him.
This tunnel didn't look any different, but it felt right. It was going down deeper into the planet until it evened out and opened into a dark room.
Ezra paused before walking in. The last time this happened, he had ended up on his relatives' ship. If this was something similar… he had to brace himself. He took a couple deep breaths, forcing his arms to go limp at his sides. He could do this. With a reaffirming nod, he stepped inside.
His eyes widened when he saw that it wasn't just a dark room. He was walking along a black platform. He wasn't even sure if it was made of stone. Lines of white light decorated the spherical chamber, great looping arcs that almost looked like galactic maps. Words were written out in a language he couldn't read. A pang of sadness echoed in his chest. Master Nu would have loved to have seen this.
"Tell me," the voice said, the cloud of lights floating to the middle of the room. "Why must you become Jedi?"
Ezra frowned slightly at the cloud. "I… I don't know. I'm Force-sensitive, and I see Kanan and the kind of Jedi he is, and… I want to be that."
"Ah. And what kind of Jedi is Kanan?"
Ezra thought about it for a moment. Immediately he thought back to the Spire. The way he fought and used the Force. "Kanan's strong. Powerful. H-He protects all of us."
"Ah. So power you seek?"
He could see their fear - feel it keenly in the Force - and it filled him with a sickly thrill.
Ezra cringed, wrapping his arms around himself again. That had been the most powerful he had ever felt. In those moments, there had been no fear or doubt. A part of him wanted to feel like that all the time. He hated being scared and uncertain. And with the Empire getting stronger, things were getting more dangerous and more uncertain all the time. They had even begun to ruin Lothal.
The voice hummed again, sounding grim. "Inside of you, much anger. Much fear."
He withered in on himself at that. The guide wasn't wrong. And he knew what he had done to his relatives was bad. Felt it in his very bones. But… "W-What's wrong with being angry?" Ezra asked exasperatedly. "After everything the Empire's done? I'm just tired of feeling helpless!"
"And that is why you must become Jedi? To fight your enemies?"
"Yes! Why shouldn't we fight the Empire? Make them suffer for everything they did to us, to the Jedi!"
The cloud seemed to contract on itself, the movement of the lights slowing slightly. Then there was a soft sigh. "Padawan... thousands of Jedi once there were. Then came war."
In his mind's eye, Ezra saw images flash before him. The sound of blaster fire and lightsabers filled his head for just a moment. Identical soldiers standing in rows… Ezra's eyes widened. He recognized them from Kanan's nightmares. The guide was talking about the Clone Wars.
"In our arrogance, join the conflict swiftly the Jedi did. Fear, anger, hate… Consumed by the Dark Side, the Jedi were."
Ezra bit his lip. He didn't know much about the Clone Wars. Kanan didn't talk about them. He just knew what happened at the end. The idea of Kanan being consumed by the Dark Side… It seemed absurd. "Is it really so wrong for us to fight? To protect our family?"
"Wrong?" The cloud expanded, the light dulling slightly. When the guide spoke again, it sounded sad. "A long time, fought I did. Consumed by fear I was. Though see it… I did not. A challenge life long it is not to bend fear into anger."
This guide… was a Jedi? Or had been. Either way, the message was the same: he couldn't fight from a position of fear. That was why he had lost control with his relatives. "Well, then how are we supposed to win if we don't fight back?"
"Win…" the voice said wistfully. "How Jedi choose to win, the question is."
Ezra looked down. He thought about everything Kanan had done for him. The life Kanan had saved Ezra from, the life he had given Ezra. He remembered the people Kanan and Hera had saved through their missions. He remembers how Zeb and Sabine had changed, not only after Kanan and Hera took them in, but as they carried out their missions to far off worlds and moons.
"We help people," he said quietly. "I-It's not just about protecting myself and my family." He looked up at the lights earnestly. "I-I want to help everybody! Because every time we save them, every time we give them supplies, I see how they feel!"
"Feel, yes. How?"
Ezra closed his eyes. He could see the faces of dozens of people in his memories, all with the same expression. The light in their eyes, like a spark being reignited by their renewed hope…
"Alive," Ezra whispered, feeling the Force singing around him. "They feel alive."
"Good. Good… Ahead of you a difficult path there is, Padawan. A Jedi you may yet be."
Ezra felt a gentle warmth on his face, like the early morning sun on Lothal. He opened his eyes and found himself standing in a starfield. The guide was gone, but a different glow drew his attention upward. A small silvery blue crystal was floating above him. It was calling to him. Singing in a way that was both familiar… yet not. As Ezra stepped forward, it began to float down towards him. He raised his hands towards it and the crystal settled in his hands.
His eyes widened as he looked down at it. It was a kyber crystal. He let out a shuddered giggle as he gripped it tightly in his palm. His eyes burned with tears, but this time it was from sharp relief and joy.
He did it. He passed.
The starfield fell away, and Ezra found himself in another tunnel. Or maybe it was the same one. Either way, he knew this was the way out. He kept his hands clenched to his as he walked along the length of the tunnel. It was only a minute before he could see the doorway. As he approached, the stone door rose and he saw Kanan kneeling on the other side.
Ezra smiled when he saw him. Kanan gave a small smile in return as he stood. "How are you?"
He sighed. It was hard to put into words how he felt. "Different… but the same."
Kanan gave a small chuckle. "Yeah, I know how you feel."
Ezra's cheeks hurt as his grin widened. He extended his arm and opened his hand. "I did get this."
Kanan's eyes widened in disbelief. "A kyber crystal? You found one here?"
"I-It's good, right? It means I passed."
"Yeah, of course it's good…" Kanan's smile faded as he stared at the crystal, sadness creeping up over their bond.
Ezra's smile melted away as well. "W-What's wrong?"
Before his panic could rise, Kanan knelt down in front of him. He gently grasped Ezra's hand and closed it back up around the crystal. He let out a shaky sigh. "Nothing's wrong, Ezra," he said quietly.
"Then why are you sad?"
Kanan glanced up at Ezra, and it was with a moment of shock that Ezra realized he was looking down at Kanan. They used to be eye level when Kanan knelt. He had gotten taller.
Then Kanan looked back down at Ezra's hand. "Getting your lightsaber crystal is a big step. I was… I was about your age when I got mine." Kanan sighed. "And things are getting worse now, just like they did when I was your age. But back then, there were ten thousand Jedi Knights protecting the galaxy. Now…"
Ezra nodded, his shoulders sagging. "There's just you and me."
Kanan nodded. "This Temple, the Force… it wants you to have this. It knows you're ready." A sad smile donned his face. "I know you're ready."
Warm pride and approval flowed through their bond, and it filled Ezra until he felt as if he was glowing as brightly as his - his - kyber crystal.
Standing back up, Kanan put a hand on Ezra's shoulder as they walked out. "C'mon, let's go back home."
Alright, now all that's left is the epilogue... I hope this chapter met your expectations.
Please leave a review to let me know what you thought!
