When she opened the doors to her house, she prepared herself for the rush of footsteps of a five-year-old coming to greet her. Instead, she was met with the endless bitter silence and the soft creaks of the house.

It had been so long since she'd stepped foot inside it, but it was just how she left it. Brooke's toys scattered carelessly across the living room floor, by now Bea knew how to dance over the floor without stepping on any of them but Bucky stepped one foot in the room and clomped down on a barbie doll.

"-Sorry…" he winced, stepping inside the living room, his eyes travelling across the floor like it was a pit of lava. Quickly rushing to pick the toys up, Bea struggle to hold them in her arms as she threw them into the corner. This would be harder than she thought if he froze in fear every time he saw one of Brooke's toys.

"Sorry, you know me, I'm a mess," Beatrice chuckled nervously, "apparently Brooke inherited that from me too."

"How are you able to afford this place?" Bucky changed the subject and took a seat on the couch

She sat down beside him, a distance on the couch settled between them. "I got a job. Um – after I had Brooke, I started to think about the kids who hadn't just lost one parent, but the both of them and how I could help them… I couldn't help the Avengers anymore; the government had put a stop to that."

"Why did they do that?"

"Uh-" mental breakdowns. Delusions. Loss of sanity. He didn't need to hear about all of that now, "Just the Government being suspicious of me, you know… after all I was on the run with you before the whole snap thing."

"Yeah," Bucky's eyes nervously flickered around the room, "We're safe here, right?"

"I've been pretty much safe here for the past five years."

"Pretty much?"

Alex's voice whispered at the forefront of her mind. "A story for another time but no, Hydra has not attacked me or come knocking on my door if that's what you're really asking."

"I don't like being in the open like this."

"Buck – Steve helped get me this house. He wouldn't have let me and Brooke move in here if there was any chance we were in danger." She assured him.

He looked up quickly, "Steve's been there for you?"

"Yes," she smiled. Steve had been the most loyal, patient thoughtful person he could have been to her. No matter how many times they fought or argued, he always meant the best for her and Brooke. "You picked an excellent best friend and of course, he's Brooke's god father."

Aware she kept bringing up Brooke and forcing her name into the conversation, she bit her lip. She couldn't help it. She wanted him to respond to the mention of her name, to say something. Each time he deflected it and changed the conversation.

"So, you've been helping orphans?"

Masking her irritation, she plastered on a smile, "probably not orphans anymore come to think of it. Suppose all the work I've done over the past three years was for nothing since the parents are back. Work will be hell when I finally go back."

"Go back?" He asked, "Are we not going back to Wakanda?"

Wakanda was a safe place for her. A place she ran too when most scared. She didn't want to go backwards. Not when she's come so far. "Me and Brooke have a life here. I… I thought you'd want to stay here. In Brooklyn. It's one of the reasons I chose to live here."

"But you're a super soldier now, and I'm finally healthy and the brainwashing has been undone by Hydra," he added more eagerly, turning on the couch to face her fully. His hand found hers, "think of the good we can do. We can go on missions with Steve and- and I can fix everything I did with Hydra by actually helping people-"

Her finger slid up to press against his mouth. "No." She whispered softly, "Bucky… Hydra's finished. Fifteen made sure of that over the last five years… and… and we have a daughter; I can't be a part of that life anymore or risk putting her in danger. I only got the serum so I could bring back the tesseract, if I had the choice now, I'd get rid of it."

"but-"

"Steve has helped me for the past five years set up this life. A life or normality for Brooke. She has school here, friends… I-I can't take her out of that."

Something akin to hope seemed to fade from his eyes. She couldn't bare it.

He hadn't met her yet. If he had – if he did, then these words wouldn't be coming out of his mouth. He'd realise how happy she was here. How happy they all could be here. He'd want to protect her and not rush into fights just because there was one.

To escape his broken stare, she quickly offered him a drink and found this excuse to leave as ss fast as she could. Running into the kitchen, her hands shook as she turned the tap. The sound of flowing water dripped louder than her racing thoughts that tackled her mind – Did he not want the normal life with her? Why couldn't they have what they had in Wakanda but here.

"baby steps," She said to herself in a whisper. This was all new to him. It was all new to her! She just wanted him for one second to consider Brooke, or at least tell her how he was feeling about being a father.

Collecting two cups of water, she made her way back into the living room and found Bucky standing rigidly by the fireplace. In his hands clasped over a photo of Brooke. That day, Brooke had been caught unawares of the camera. She had no time to pose like she always did whenever she noticed a camera, but was laughing at something Steve had said.

Not wanting to distract him, she carefully placed the cups down but even the small clank the sound made against the wood, alarmed him and he instantly put the photo down.

"-Sorry. I was just looking."

"You don't have to apologise. She's your daughter too," She reminded him, trying not to push further. She was half tempted to run upstairs and get the photo albums and spread them in front of him. Not to mention all the paintings she'd made over her time in nursery. Or the birthday cards she'd written out over the past few years. Or her attempt at making a scrap book – no, she needed to stop. This was already too much for him.

She stood by him and looked at the photo herself, rocking back on forth on the balls of her feet, "we made a beautiful kid, didn't we?"

"Yeah, she's cute," he added unhelpfully, "looks like you."

"I see more of you. She has your eyes."

Bucky had nothing more to say and tore his eyes from the photo. She picked it up again and basically thrust it back into his hands, "You know. If you want to know more about her. Feel free to ask. I'm happy to answer-"

The frame was placed once again back on its spot on the dusty mantlepiece.

"Bea. What do you want me to say?" he asked tiredly, "you clearly want me to say something?"

"No. No I don't. I just…" how was she supposed to put this? "I would like you to tell me how you're at least feeling about this whole thing."

"I don't know. I'm scared as hell, babe. I don't know what I'm doing or what you're expecting of me. What role I'm supposed to play… what does being a dad even mean?"

Well, she wasn't sure either. She had a hard time even figuring out what being a mother was. Half the time it was screaming at her for doing something reckless, the other half was cuddles on the sofa whilst she read her a night-time story. There was no one way to describe being a parent. It was something you learn; she couldn't explain it to him. She considered the idea of maybe giving Steve a call. Whenever she was stumped of frustrated, he was her number one person to go too, and if anyone had been a key male role model in Brooke's life, it had been him. He would know-

But he was dealing with the other Bucky right now. She couldn't ask everything of him.

"I don't know," She shrugged uselessly, "We just figure it out I guess."

This wasn't the answer he was looking for. The colour drained from his face, and she saw at once the scared man who had shivered at the sight of Hydra. Attempting to move closer and stop whatever thoughts were racing through his mind, he jumped away.

"I think I just need to get out of here for a second."

"What?"

He scuttled towards the hallway where her front door was. Did- was he just going to go? What was happening?

"Bucky?"

He disappeared behind the doorframe and in a fleet of panic to keep him, tears swelled in her eyes as she cried, "Don't leave. Don't you dare leave. You always leave me!"

This stops him. Or at least stalls him, enough for Bea to rush to the door and put herself between him and it. Aware she was acting like a spoilt child, she'd witnessed Brooke acting like this on a few occasion - but in her defence - most of the time it worked for the girl to get what she wanted.

"Please don't go, Buck. We can stay and talk about it."

"Bea, half the time I don't mean to leave you, I never meant too. But right now, I need to get some air… you've just sprung this on me."

"I didn't mean to do that either… but would you rather I kept it from you?"

"No, of course not but I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this information."

"You don't have to do anything, Buck." She stressed, moving closer for a hug but his sudden twitch away made her realise that probably wasn't the best move, "look- you're right, I made you come here when all her toys and stuff are around the place, and I get that's overwhelming. Shall we just go for a walk? We can just talk about it…"

He nervously scanned the door like it was about to explode and rushed back inside her living room. She frowned, wondering what he was thinking and tempted to follow him, but a second later he came back with a coat and gloves.

It seemed pointless putting them on. As if anyone was going to care that the Winter Soldier was out and about when their loved ones had just returned to them – not to mention he helped return their loved ones to them. Both of them were still in their fighting gear, sweaty and ready for a shower, she didn't see how adding extra layers over his already thick clothes would help him in this heat. But – whatever made him comfortable. She had to remember he was five years behind her.

When he was ready, she led them out of the house and locked the door behind her. Bucky had never looked so relieved when the key clicked in the lock, hiding it's belonging from his eyes.

*~It started with Pizza~*

They found themselves walking the boardwalks of Coney Island. She thought the familiar sight might help him, but it was also the furthest place away from any street parties that seemed to be taking place on every corner. Families hugged one another. Neighbours shared their houses with strangers, smiling as they rejoiced that they were all alive. Children ran to greet their parents who had be missing for five years. She grabbed Bucky's arm particularly tightly after that and steered them away to the beach.

Now she was here, she couldn't help but stare up at the highest rollercoaster. A vision of riding it with Bucky. But not the Bucky beside her, the one from the 1940's. Younger. Less damaged. Care-free. If she wanted, he would have asked her to be his girl up there. It would have been a simpler time.

The joyous music emitting from the closest house was a hard reminder that this wasn't as joyous as she imagined. She hadn't considered that if Bucky came home, things wouldn't be perfect. They wouldn't instantly be a happy family.

"I just can't help but feel I've got no choice but to just be okay with all of this."

"You don't have to be okay," She reminded him softly. Getting him to talk about how he felt had taken her the whole walk and finally he was opening up.

"No, but I do. Five minutes ago everything was okay, we had our hut in Wakanda and we were settling down for a life there. Now, I've got no choice to accept I'm a father now. Bea – I didn't even factor kids into our life. I didn't want them."

"I wasn't ready either when I found out I was pregnant," Beatrice said, really trying to see his point but she couldn't help but feel he was rejecting Brooke before he even met her, "and that's not true, Bucky told me he wanted kids… I mean the past version of you."

Bucky scoffed, "Well we're not the same person exactly and that was before Hydra. What if I end up hurting her – there's been plenty of times I've accidently hurt you."

"Not since Shuri fixed you."

"How do we know for sure I'm fixed completely."

She stopped and stared at him blankly. A point needed to be made here so he couldn't use this as an excuse. "Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak-"

"Bea… what are you doing?"

"Proving a point," She shrugged, "you're not affected by Hydra anymore and I know you would never hurt her."

He searched around tiredly, even his shoulders slumped. Nothing about this situation was ideal. She wished they were joining in on the celebrations rather than feeling like she was mourning the loss of her life in Wakanda all over again.

"I've still got enemies," he offered and sighed in the wake of his words, "I'm a threat just being near her."

"Don't do that," She replied blankly, seeing through his walls, "you're coming up with excuses to dip and run."

"No, I'm not. I'm just telling you the truth."

"You've done that to me too many times. I know when you're trying to run away, but you're a dad now… you can't just hide from this anymore." Her words were sharp. Quite suddenly, she realised she was beginning to sound like Steve and cleared her throat to choke out the authoritative tone and replaced it with one much softer, "what I mean is… just take a breath and stop panicking. I'm not expecting you to know what you're doing with her, and me and Steve will be here to help. I'm not asking you to stay alone with her and expect for you to know how to cope. You don't even need to talk to her right away if you don't feel like it - though that may be hard. Brooke likes to talk."

"I just feel like I've woken up into a different life. You have a new job, a new house… a kid. So much has changed." She grabbed his hand. Used to the feel of the smooth flesh of the 1940's Bucky's hand, she was surprised when she felt the groove of metal, but clung to it tighter. It was proof that he was once again alive.

"Our situation might have changed but I'm still me, and we're still a family… it's just, got a little bigger since I last saw you." Doubt still resonated in his eyes. It was her duty to get rid of it. She leant closer, and practically whispered into his ear, "and Buck… there's no one in the world I trust more with Brooke than you."

If she had known that was all it would take to calm him, she would have said it hours ago. But Bucky walked more relaxed after that, and eventually his arm slid around her back and she was pulled closer. Able to enjoy the celebration of the day, she clung to him. Taking him in and smelling his familiar scent, even if it was musked in sweat and dirt.

Finally, after half an hour of mindless chatting about what had happened to her, he asked, "Go on then. Tell me about her…"

A/N I know you're all waiting for another reunion between Brooke and Bucky so I'll be uploaded that chapter tomorrow as a quarantine treat. Hope you're all doing okay. Please PM if you need someone to talk too :)