Internal conflicts

Lapelled

Existential crisis

His mind

A battlefield of emotions

Beliefs

Presumptions

Assumptions

His own philosophies

Clashing

With newfound views

Courtesy of a certain fire queen.

No doubt

Like a painter

She had colored him

Influenced

Changed.

Yellow and green

Bright and powerful

Sharp contrasts

To his monotony

And from a dead shell

He gained a bit more

Color.

She had taught him

Regardless

As the saying goes

There is lesson to be learned

Even from fools

Wisdom sprouts.

Indeed

He was mistaken.

She was certainly more perceptive

Than one would assume.

She showed him

How to find

Satisfaction

In the smallest joys.

Taught him

How to be

Sympathetic

To speak

With kind words.

From her

A powerful doctrine

A dogma

That he held

In high respect.

We always have a choice.

But now, even that statement.

Dangerous

Self-destructive.

By the same logic, she had chosen to destroy herself.

What am I doing, poking holes at idealist beliefs?

His cynicism certainly knew no bounds.

Acerbic criticism

All this

A wretched

Underhanded

Method.

If one would think.

People die. For attention.

Literally. Figuratively.

Indeed

What did I expect?

A Riajuu is a creature

That fed off

Attention.

Ego is always craving praise.

Dark humour.

You get more flowers

On your funeral

Than all of the flowers

Combined

In your entire life.

Source: me.

A man is loved the most

At the moment of his death.

Why?

Because when you are gone

Out of the way

No longer a hindrance

You are no longer

A pain in the ass.

Of course, your death will still be painful for your loved ones.

Such is cynicism.

He hated himself for it.

Did he?

But hate

Is acceptance

Of a grim truth

And thus

He loved himself.

Irony

Brimming with hypocrisy

The reason

Why he

Will never deserve

The privilege

Of friendship

And the ideal

Of

Love.

This is why

I am a loner

An outcast

Opposer of youth

The terrorist

Blowing up

Illusions and façades

Shoving reality

Down their throats.

The cynic. In the flesh.

The monster.

Of logic.

He had long forgotten

Disparaged

The vital reminder.

When fighting monsters

Do not become one.

To him

He was upset

Infuriated

In grief.

Through his own dead eyes

He saw

A pathetic move

Leading to the downfall

Execution

Of the monarchy

Social hierarchy overturned

Suicide attempt

A final gambit

Of the fire queen

That will make

Or break

Her empire.

Dots connect

She had lunged forward

That evening

In front of an audience

To reveal

Who is the antagonist

In the play.

But this is all

A bold calculation.

If he had miscalculated

Missed calculation

Results

Lethal.

He was sad.

Yes, a contradicting statement.

The cold cynic, sad?

Only those who have a heart can feel sadness.

How rich.

But as he drew closer to her

Brushing blonde hair aside

Wipe away

Traces of tears

On an ethereal face

Caressing her cheeks

And he planted

A kiss

On her forehead

With what sincerity

He had left.

A certain sage

Traipsed in his mind.

For the blonde fire queen

Was simply another

Nice girl.

And that is why

He must be compassionate

With her.

It is always difficult to love.

With it

Comes pain

Suffering

A long journey

Provoked by self-interests

Temptations

Human nature.

I was a coward.

Cowards survive a thousand times.

A hero, only once.

But that is it.

Genuine?

To simply survive cannot suffice.

I wanted to live.

Up until now

All I did

Survive

Evade

Run.

A hero will save her.

There was none.

So

Become one.

He nuzzled against her silken hair

And from the corner of his eyes

Though his gaze

Dead

A teardrop

The second time

Since the last time.

Because the cynic

Learned the biggest lesson

From the fire queen

Which is

To love.

Because he had learned to love her.

And because

He had learned to love her

He was saddened

Because he did not want

To lose her.

They say

Only fools

Know how to

Truly love.

If cynicism is the bitter wisdom

A pill he reluctantly swallowed

He would have to try

To love

Even if

He knew

It was priming

Another time bomb

Because nothing

Lasts forever.

And so he wept.

He who loves to a fault

Loves the fault as well.