Chapter Nine: How You Get the Girl
"Remind her how it used to be with pictures in frames and kisses on cheeks."
"We've got work to do, Evans."
Despite the sparkly puffy paint sticking out of the front pocket of her bag, Mary has a serious game face. It's the same one she had on the first day of the semester when she outlined her ambitious plans for the yearbook in great detail. The one that tells Lily that she's completely committed and won't take any excuses.
Clearly, she doesn't take her position as Campaign Manager lightly.
That is how Lily finds herself on her stomach in the living room, surrounded by posterboard, markers, paint, and about half of the craft store that Mary insisted they needed if they were going to run a decent campaign. The trip made a significant dent in her savings account and required sneaking out to borrow the car before Petunia could notice, but Mary says it will be worth it. Sacrifices are necessary if she wants to win.
And Lily definitely wants to win.
"Do we need a slogan or something? Hope? Change? Make Prom Evans Again?" Lily makes a face and shakes her head. "Scratch that. Nothing to do with Petunia or… you know."
"No, absolutely no Petunia. God, Lily. Do you want people to vote for you?" She shakes her head. "What about something like…" Mary hunches over her poster board, completely blocking Lily's view. "This!"
Be A Smart Cookie! Vote Evans For Prom Queen!
Lily looks at her friend, not bothering to hide her skepticism. "We're going to win by… reminding everyone that I'm a nerd?"
"No, Lily. For someone so smart, you can be so dumb. Cookies." Mary points excitedly toward a spot - drawing, she realizes - that Lily assumed was an accident. "We can hang these all over the school. Well, better versions than this one. Then, we can hand out cookies that have 'Evans for Prom Queen' written on them, or maybe 'Potter and Evans.' Whatever you prefer. The point is, the key to the average high schooler's vote is their stomach."
"I guess you're right," Lily answers, tilting her head as if that will make Mary's drawing look more like what she claims it is. "They'll remember our names when casting a ballot, at least. We have to put James' name on too. I mean…" Lily studies the poster to avoid looking directly at Mary. "He won't hurt the votes. Plus, he said 'Vote Potter and Evans' at the party. Don't we need consistent messaging?"
"You're right," agrees Mary, nodding seriously. "He should have his name on them too. Besides, it's going to be the two of you making these cookies. Everyone knows I can't bake. Remember when I almost set our entire Home Ec class on fire?"
"Remember when you almost set me on fire in Honors Chemistry?" Lily counters, grabbing a few markers from their stash. Not that her favorite school subject makes her a better baker. "But your point is taken. I'll get James to help with the cookies. How many posters do you think we need?"
"Probably several for each hallway. We also have to remember that Hannah Holiday is running, and we need to overshadow the shit out of her posters." Mary sits up straight, looking around like a drill sergeant over her troops. "This is not enough. Definitely not enough. We need to make another run to the craft store after we finish these."
"How much do we need?" Lily pushes herself up and looks desperately around the room. "Wall to wall posters? A sky writer? I don't think my summer job at the ice cream shop is going to cover that."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm sure James would be more than willing to chip in. Maybe Petunia has some poster board left over from when she ran?"
"Hell no. We're not taking anything from Petunia."
"I don't know what I just walked in on, but I better not catch either one of you in my room."
Petunia stands in the door frame, eyes narrowed and hands on her hips. Lily sits up, tugging her shirt down and pushing snacks under the coffee table. "I'm not going anywhere near it," she answers. "We're fine on our own."
"Fine on your own doing what?" Petunia's eyes sweep over the poster boards quickly. They widen when they land on the one in front of Mary. "What is all this?"
"Oh, Lily and James -"
"School project," Lily cuts across Mary, leaning on her hand to hide Mary's sign.
"That doesn't look like a school project," counters Petunia suspiciously. "Do you think I'm stupid?"
"Now that you mention it -"
"They're campaign signs," Mary says without looking at Petunia. She tugs her draft poster from under Lily's hand and flattens it out in front of her. "For Lily and James."
Lily refuses to look at her sister during the heavy pause.
"And what, may I ask, are you campaigning for? The last time I checked, yearbook didn't select their editor this way."
"Would you let it go already? You know Mary's editor. Unlike you, I have friends to be happy for when they do something impressive." Lily knows the pitch of her voice was rising, as it almost always does when her sister is involved, but she can't help it. Petunia knows how to get the reaction she wants, and Lily hasn't learned how to stop giving it to her yet.
"It's for Prom Court," Mary says simply, assessing her sign like it is more pressing and interesting than the other two girls in the room. Based on how many of these kinds of fights she has witnessed, it probably is. "Lily's going to be Prom Queen."
A silence follows in which Lily can see Petunia stop breathing. In which the world stops turning and turns its full attention to their cluttered living room. In which she can count the seconds in her head between Petunia's last breath and her next outburst, which she knows is coming.
"Prom Queen?" Petunia says, the words coming out slightly haggard, as though they hurt. "You - you can't be Prom Queen. It's not going to happen. It's not possible."
"Taking Holiday's party as a sample, I'd say our preliminary polling isn't looking too bad. We're going to need a full campaign to get us to election day, of course." Mary shrugs and cracks a smile, "But I like our odds."
Mary's brilliant like this. She's able to think quickly enough to be smooth on her delivery and throw Petunia off, since she won't give the reaction she wants. How she can keep her tone so mild is a mystery to Lily.
"'Preliminary polling' aside, you're not popular enough to win something like this," says Petunia, fueling the fire in Lily's chest. "You have no idea all that goes into pulling off a successful prom campaign."
She feels the initial wave of annoyance make way for something else. Looking at her sister, Lily's chest swells with wounded pride.
Why is winning impossible for her?
"Well, not to be rude, but you don't know what goes into it either," adds Mary. "I mean, you lost. So, technically, you have no idea what it takes to successfully run a prom campaign."
"I didn't lose," spits Petunia, her fists clenched. "I was runner up."
This is ground where Lily can rest her feet. This is where she can feel strong enough to say something back. "Mary didn't take your picture for the Prom Queen spot in the yearbook last year, Tuney, so that means you lost."
"Runner up isn't losing!" shouts Petunia. "It's more than you're going to get! I may not have been in your grade, but I know enough about Hannah Holiday to know she's got the popularity to back her. You won't have a chance! All you're asking for is to be humiliated in front of your entire senior class!"
But Hannah doesn't have something, Lily wants to say.
She may be popular and throw parties and have been preparing for this since kindergarten, but she doesn't have what makes Lily think that she actually has a shot of doing this.
She doesn't have James.
"It won't be humiliating when James and I show you our crowns. It won't be humiliating when I do what you couldn't."
"Don't get your hopes up," says Petunia, turning and walking away. She's halfway up the stairs when she calls back down. "I'd hate to see them crushed!"
Instead of screaming, which she'd like to do, Lily throws herself back on the floor and stares at the ceiling. She refuses to cry, even when the corners of her eyes start to feel hot. "Am I completely fooling myself?"
"Nah," Mary dismisses immediately, already bent over a new posterboard and back to work. "I don't take advice from losers."
By Monday, in a feat Lily would never have thought possible, Mary manages to have at least one poster proclaiming 'Potter and Evans for Prom Court!' in every hallway with senior classes. A few people have even tapped Lily on the shoulder, expressing their intention to mark their names on the ballot.
"We'll have to start another phase soon," Mary says as they head to their second period class. "The posters are good, but we have to make sure people remember when they have to pick who goes up for a vote. We need something that will make it impossible to forget about you."
"The look on Hannah's face when James made an impromptu campaign speech at her party?"
"Old news," Mary dismisses. "I can give you the fourteenth off, Evans, but then it's back to work. Prom Queens don't get elected without some sacrifice and hard work."
Lily searches her brain unsuccessfully for any reason why Mary would give her a break in their extensive campaign schedule. "Why the fourteenth?"
Clearly, this was a ridiculous question. Mary actually stops in the middle of the hallway, ignores the few people behind them who squawk in protest, and shoots her a disbelieving stare. "Valentine's Day? With your boyfriend?"
Her cheeks flush when Lily realizes that she hadn't even thought of the holiday. People are going to be expecting them to do something, aren't they? How could she forget about? Why hadn't they talked about this?
"Oh." She tries to get them walking again so Mary doesn't have time to dwell. "Yeah. I mean, of course. Valentine's Day."
"Oh my god, Lily, don't tell me you've forgotten! It's this weekend! It's your first Valentine's Day with a boyfriend!"
"I didn't forget," she replies, though she knows that's a lie. "I… didn't think about the significance." Lily nods, as if this resolves everything, but then stops again in the middle of the hallway. "Wait. It's going to be a real Valentine's Day."
"Of course it's going to be a real Valentine's Day," huffs Mary, dragging Lily towards the lockers to avoid being trampled by several freshmen. "You know the whole chocolate, sappy cards, and flowers type of thing that neither one of us had any reason to participate in up till now? Please tell me you got James something."
"Uh… Not exactly." Lily winds a finger in her hair and gives her friend a half-smile that she hopes is charmingly sheepish. "What does someone even get their boyfriend on their first Valentine's Day?"
"How am I supposed to know? What do you think James is getting you?"
"Um. I don't know. Chocolate?"
"Ugh, you two are useless. Has he mentioned Valentine's Day?"
"No. But neither have I," she admits, though that was already obvious. "Do high schoolers even take that stuff seriously?"
"You have to get him something," says Mary, looking thoughtful as she twists her blonde hair around her finger. "I mean, he's your boyfriend, but he's also James. He's kind of a goof. I doubt he's going to take this too seriously. You could get him something funny."
"Right. Something funny… Like, over the top? Silly?"
"Something like… oh my god." Mary's eyes brighten, and she claps her hands in excitement. "Wait, I've got it! I know the perfect thing!"
"Well, what do you think?"
Sirius blinks at him once. Twice. Then once more.
"It's… a pocket knife?"
"Yeah!"
"For Valentine's Day?"
"Of course it's for Valentine's Day," says James cheerfully, as though Sirius gets it. Which he doesn't, obviously.
How could he know that something so small is symbolic to his relationship with Lily? That before all of this - the falling out, the coming back together, the fake relationship that acts like a band aid over it all - they were best friends. That James, even years later, knows all of Lily's little quirks because of that chunk of time when they were just a boy and a girl whose whole world was simply each other. That sometimes, late at night and inside his own head, James needs reminding that this - their relationship, their friendship - didn't start out as fake.
He clings to the little LE + JP that's carved into the tree at their childhood playground for comfort. It's proof enough to him that this gigantic mess he's gotten himself and his heart into has the possibility to end as something very, very real again.
"I mean - you've known Lily longer than me," sighs Sirius. "If you're certain she'll like it, I'm not going to question your judgement. This time, at least."
James' grin doesn't falter when his best friend doesn't seem impressed with his gift, because Sirius is back to calling her Lily again. He isn't sure when it happened exactly, but sometime between Sirius' drunken rage at them during Holiday's party and the next school day, things changed. He couldn't believe his eyes when he spotted Lily and Sirius walking together to their designated lunch table the other day. Happily together. Not nearly killing each other at all.
That has to be a sign that this is real.
"She'll love it," says James, mostly to himself. He knows she'll get why it's so important without him having to explain it. Even without their initials inscribed on the smooth surface of the knife, she'll know what it means. He tucks the little blue knife into its silk carrying case and hands it to Sirius. "But I've got to keep it hidden for a bit longer. Do you mind keeping it in your room? I don't want her to find it in mine."
"Girls do have a tendency to snoop."
James snorts. "Says the guy who got caught trying on his boyfriend's cardigans when he thought he was sleeping."
"I didn't - how did you - Remus told you that!"
"Of course he did. I'm planning on leading with that story in my best man's speech at your wedding." James gives his friend a wink and half smirk while throwing on his nearest jacket. "Now, keep that thing safe. For the love of god, don't lose it. I'm trusting you."
"I won't lose it. I'm not completely hopeless," says Sirius, sounding offended. "Where are you going, anyway?"
"To Lily's," James calls over his shoulder, already heading out his front door. Sirius' heavy-booted footsteps are close behind him. "She asked for my help baking cookies to campaign for Prom."
"You guys are quite the domestic couple, aren't you? Bring me some back!"
"Will do," says James, saluting him as he leaps down his front stairs.
"Oh, and I'll have you know - I look damn good in a cardigan!"
James laughs, loud and full, and everything feels right. Just as it should be. He has his best mate, and he has Lily.
He lets his good mood carry him to her front door, letting himself in without bothering to ring the doorbell because, fake or not, they're there again. That familiar space of comfort where he's welcome and wanted and expected. That happy little place where he's a constant in her life, and he doesn't want it to ever change.
"Honey!" he calls out in his best 1950's television husband voice. "I'm home!"
"Thank God." Lily's voice floats from the kitchen, followed shortly by the sight of her in the doorway. Her jeans have flour on the front, and her hair is tied up in a high, messy bun. There's a smudge of flour by her temple, where she probably tried to push her hair back. James wonders if she wound her hair around her finger like she does when she's unsure. "Pinterest might have made me a little too ambitious."
"You? Too ambitious? That's impossible." He's teasing her in a way that used to be natural and normal to them. In a way that almost makes him forget about the fake in front of his boyfriend title. "Anything I can do to help?"
"Mary said we shouldn't use a box mix, so I tried to look up something. I thought, 'it can't be much harder than Chem, right? I'm good at that.' I told Mary I could handle it. So, I went on Pinterest, but all of the recipes must be designed by professionals or people with way too much time on their hands, because I can't even..." She throws her arms out to show whatever destruction he's bound to find. "I guess you can see for yourself. I'm a cookie failure."
"I'm sure it's not that bad," says James, following her into the kitchen before stopping abruptly. "Oh god - yeah. Okay, you weren't lying. It's pretty bad."
James is surprised more flour isn't covering Lily with the sheer amount spread over her kitchen counters. There are chocolate chips spilling onto the floor from a brutally torn open bag that never stood a chance and several mixing bowls filled with something too runny to be considered cookie dough.
"I don't know what happened. They're just cookies." Lily attempts to sweep up the chocolate chips on the counter with her hand, but they don't want to return to the torn bag. "Is it cheating if we ask your mom for help?"
"It's okay, it's okay," he answers, attempting to calm her. She's frazzled. Adorably so. "But I don't think we need my mom's help, actually."
"Well, I don't know what else to do. My mom's working overtime again, and Petunia would never -" Her eyes go wide. Lily covers her mouth with her hand, leaving another streak of flour across her cheek. "Petunia's going to murder me if she comes home to this."
"Petunia's not going to murder you, because I know what we're going to do. You're going to start cleaning up what you can, and I'm -" I'm going to blow one of my biggest secrets and make you see how pathetic I really am when it comes to you. "I'm going to start us a fresh batch of cookie dough."
Her hands drop to her side. "Are you sure? I remember when you almost blew up the lab in eighth grade Physical Science, and they didn't give us anything stronger than a bunsen burner."
James rolls his eyes. "You're misremembering. That was clearly Sirius." It wasn't.
She casts a desperate glance around the kitchen. "I could see if I have anything in my bank account so we could order something? As long as we don't tell Mary they're store bought."
"I'm not going to blow up your kitchen, Evans. I know what I'm doing."
"If you're sure…" She doesn't look entirely sure herself, but she still turns to find a washcloth in a drawer by the sink. After running the cloth under water, she starts scrubbing away the worst of the flour.
James sighs, finding one of the only clean mixing bowls left on the counter and eyeing the ingredients Lily already laid out wearily. It's not that he really minds Lily knowing that he bakes.
It's more of the fact that he only bakes for her. He isn't sure how she'll take it. If she'll be able to tell behind it all how not fake his feelings for her really are and if it'll scare her this early into everything.
"Did you want anything particular? Sugar? Chocolate chip? Both?"
She reaches up on her tiptoes to grab the roll of paper towels on the top of her fridge, and a bit of skin is exposed on her midriff when her shirt raises with her stretch. He feels his cheeks warm, so he tries to turn his back to her.
"I'd honestly take just about anything right now," she answers, looking over at him.
"Sugar would be easy to decorate." She's back on flat feet again and he feels like he can breathe easier.
"Sugar, then, since those are my favorite at Christmas. Do you know whatever your mom adds to them that makes them melt in your mouth?" She pushes her hair back again and manages to stay relatively flour-free.
"Yeah, I think I know." He measures out extra butter, tossing it into the bowl. "We could always make a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough for ourselves, chill it, and eat it later tonight? Like when we were kids? We could watch a movie or something. If you want to."
"Yeah." She offers a small smile and - he swears - a bit of warmth touches her cheeks. "That sounds great. Really great."
"Your mom working late tonight?"
Her smile drops. "It feels like she always is now. I mean, I get it. Petunia's taking community college classes, and next year I'll be…" Her cheeks definitely color this time. "I mean, they need her, so she gets a lot of overtime."
James doesn't miss the way Lily avoids the subject of college. It isn't something that they've talked about, really. He isn't sure where she's planning to go after high school, though he's seen college brochures in her room. The same ones that sit on his nightstand.
It fuels his hope that this could all work, the fact that they may be going to the same college in a few months. He has to let it. The alternative is that this all falls apart. That he's reminded of it everytime he sees her on campus or, even worse, they never see each other again.
"She works really hard, your mom," he says before changing the subject because he can tell she's desperate for it. "Do you want to help me make these? It looks less like a bomb went off now."
"Do you trust me not to mess it up?"
He grins. "You'll do fine. Measure out a teaspoon of the vanilla extract, grab an egg, and get yourself over here, Evans."
She does as he says and joins him by the counter, bumping her hip against his for good measure. "When did you learn your way around a kitchen, Potter?"
"Oh, you know -" He gestures vaguely, trailing off. "Do you have an electric mixer? It'd be easier than using a spoon."
"Um. Maybe?" She flashes him a smile that's too cute to be fair.
"Try the cabinet over the oven. That's where your mom usually keeps the can opener and stuff. It might be in there."
She pauses to give him a funny look but does it anyway. Lily goes onto her toes again, and James thinks this girl really might be the end of him. "I'm not sure I can…"
"Oh, I've got it," he says, feeling rather stupid. Lily is so much shorter than him, and he shouldn't have expected her to be able to reach so high.
The feeling of wanting to scold himself goes away almost immediately when he reaches over her head, grabs the mixer, and realizes on the way down that he's effectively trapped her between himself and the oven. At some point, she must have turned to ask for help. They're standing nearly nose to nose, her hands grasping the oven handle behind her.
It would be so easy, he thinks. So easy to dip his head down to kiss her, to use a hand at her jawline to tilt her face just so to give him better access.
His head is spinning. He feels as though he can't move, as though he's rooted to the spot.
Move, you idiot! The voice inside his head sounds slightly like Sirius, which is concerning that his subconscious would take on such a form. Move or kiss her! Or do both at the same time!
Then the front door opens and shuts with force. "Is that - ?" His question is cut off with a dramatic sigh coming from the hallway outside the kitchen.
Petunia is home.
Lily is suddenly even closer to him. Her arms are around his shoulders. She's on her toes to try to match his height. Her mouth is dangerously close to his. He can smell that mix of apple shampoo and a hint of vanilla that belongs to her. They're touching in a thousand places.
And Lily is kissing him.
It takes his mind ten seconds to catch up with what is happening, but, thankfully, his body goes into autopilot mode the moment her lips touch his and knows what to do. As if it's always known what to do when it comes to kissing Lily.
When time starts to flow normally for him again, he realizes that they're trading a series of open-mouthed kisses between them, chasing each other whenever one has to break away for a breath. James, feeling as though his heart is about to beat right out of his chest, cautiously brushes his tongue against hers. He wants, just once, to know how it feels to do it.
He wonders if he let his teenage boy desires betray him when she goes tense for a split second against him.
Then, he feels her sigh against his mouth, happily. He thinks he might have done something right, and he knows he has when he feels her tongue slip into his mouth.
He positively groans.
This... this is good. This is more than good. This whole tongue thing. He could get used to -
"Oh my god," a voice groans behind them, clearly disgusted. "Get a freaking room!"
Ah, Petunia. She's found them.
Lily is gone far too soon since any separation is too soon. James is fairly certain he could kiss Lily Evans forever.
"We have a room, Tuney." Her arms stay around him, but she looks past his shoulder at her sister. James selfishly hopes her heart is beating half as fast as his. "The kitchen. The one we're in. Can't you go to your room and leave us alone?"
"The kitchen is public domain, Lily, god!" Petunia grabs a grape soda from the fridge and slams the door.
"So much for public domain when you're being disgusting with -"
"At least clean up the flour mess you made. Mom works too hard to clean up after you!"
James' brow furrows at Petunia's retreating back. "Flour mess? Oh!"
Apparently, they caused the entire bag of flour to go toppling off the counter during their… carelessness. It's dusted across the kitchen floor and looks like snow. James realizes hazily that they've shifted downward somehow, no longer near the oven. There's a trail of flour handprints leading down the kitchen counter. James doesn't remember how they got there.
Lily sighs. "I should…" She sinks to flat feet and glances around the kitchen. James wonders if she's intentionally trying to avoid his gaze. "I'll clean up?"
"Yeah, yeah," he says, taking a step back from her and raking a hand through his hair. "I'll - I'll get these cookies in the oven?"
She nods, but it takes five seconds for them to stop looking at one another and get back to work. In those five seconds, James thinks of asking Lily if she'd rather nix the cookies and just make out.
Instead, they spend the rest of the time in the kitchen working in silence.
James' stomach is hurting, though it's not from a stomach bug. If it were, the sight of the pink and purple frosted sugar cookies that spell out "Potter and Evans" he is currently carrying to the school cafeteria would have made him queasy. This sort of stomach ache feels more like knots being twisted in his abdomen. Like nerves causing his stomach acid to bubble uncontrollably.
He and Lily had agreed that they were the type of couple who kiss.
They had written it down.
Hell, they had kissed on it.
So why does last night's kiss feel so different? Why does it feel like he's crossed a line?
Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that there were tongues involved this time. Maybe he startled her. Maybe Lily didn't like being kissed with tongues. Maybe he had jumped the gun and ruined this whole thing, all because he couldn't get his stupid teenage boy hormones under control.
Lily had sat on the other end of the couch while they were watching Pretty in Pink afterward.
"Potter!"
Ah, Mary. Just the sound of her voice sends James' overly panicked thoughts to a screeching halt. It's a talent of hers, he muses, as he watches her stalk towards him.
"Macdonald!"
"Where have you been?"
"History?"
She yanks the cookies from him and inspects them before giving what James assumes is an approving sort of nod. "Class let out ten minutes ago! Lily's been sitting at the cookie booth waiting for you. We've already missed ten minutes of lunch, Potter. That's ten minutes worth of cookie campaigning, gone!"
James huffs. "It's a bit hard, you know, carting around my backpack as well as these cookies."
"Oh, forgive me. I forgot how hard it is for you to multitask," she says, rolling her eyes. "Look, I'm not managing a losing campaign here. You got that? Get in there, and use your obnoxiously charming face to push cookies!"
"My face is not obnoxiously charming!"
"Yeah, yeah," Mary says, pushing him along with such force he stumbles a bit and makes a little oof sound. "Hurry and find Lily! I got you a table toward the back of the cafeteria. Benjy was with her when I left. He's as obnoxiously tall as you are charming, so you should be able to spot him."
"Fenwick?"
James can't help the jealousy that starts to prickle up his spine at the mention of Fenwick being near Lily. He doesn't want to be that type of guy, that jealous boyfriend type. Lily's allowed to have guy friends.
It never bothered him when she would read in her treehouse with Remus for hours when they were in middle school. It didn't even bother him last week when he came home after a Saturday morning run to find Lily already in his basement, playing video games with Sirius.
So why does he want to rip Fenwick's windpipe out when he sees him standing next to Lily, making her laugh?
"Hey," James says, a little too gruffly for his own liking. Fenwick is obnoxiously tall. The bastard. "Sorry I'm late."
"Potter," Fenwick greets, not unkindly. He smiles at James like he actually is happy to see him. Like he actually likes him. Like James doesn't remember that one time in eighth grade when he kissed the love of his life, goddammit.
"Hey," Lily echoes, moving down the bench to make room for him. "Did Mary find you? She's been a little… panicked."
"She practically hunted me down," James groans, sitting as close to Lily as possible without coming off as territorial or weird. "I think my head is still spinning from her shoving me around."
"That Mary. Her tactics are a bit… scary, but I think I kind of like them," says Fenwick, grinning like a fool.
"She gets results, that one," Lily adds. She turns to James, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Did the cookies survive the trip and Mary?"
"I guarded them with my life. If they're the least bit crumbled, it's Mary's fault. They were in perfect condition before I got here."
Fenwick peers over the tupperware, practically looming. "They look good to me," he says, cheerfully. "Mind if I'm your first customer?"
"That depends," Lily answers, grinning. "Who are you voting for Prom Court?"
"You, of course, and not just because Mary will throttle me if I don't."
It takes everything within James not to roll his eyes. He's afraid they'll get stuck that way, like his mother always threatens, if he does.
"Spread the word about these, would you?" asks James, handing Fenwick a cookie and hoping his real intention of getting him the fuck away from the table isn't showing.
It lands successfully, apparently, as Fenwick takes the cookie and salutes them before taking a bite and walking off.
Lily returns his salute and looks back at James. She hesitates, just for a split second and just long enough for him to notice, before bumping her shoulder against his. "How was class?"
"It was good," he says with a shrug. Maybe it's because he's so wound up by Fenwick's retreating figure and feeling like a despicable boy. Or maybe it's the fact that last night is still bothering him, and he simply has no tact. Either way, James can't stop himself from blurting out, "Are we okay?"
"Yeah," she replies automatically, almost defensively. Lily twists her fingers in her hair, like she used to when she was nervous. Which she wasn't around him, back when they were best friends. "I mean, I'm okay. I think we're okay. I thought… Was I too much? I know Petunia makes me so weird, and I could have totally crossed a line. I didn't mean to… to…"
"No, no! God, no. You're never too much," he sputters. His face feels incredibly hot. Why do they keep the cafeteria so damn hot? "I mean - I thought, if anything, I may have been too much, considering I did the - the tongue thing."
Bless Lily Evans and her inability to hide a blush.
"No. It wasn't too much. It was…" She shakes her head. "It was -"
"What's this?"
Lily's head snaps in the direction of the new voice. "Hi, Hannah." Her cheeks are still pink when she attempts a smile that he knows enough to know is fake. "Did you want a cookie? Vote Potter and Evans for Prom Court!"
Hannah's icy blue eyes narrow and she tosses her perfectly curled hair over her shoulder with a huff. "I've already had my carbs for the day."
"That's a shame," answers James, picking up one of his own cookies and taking a bite. "Lily and I made these ourselves and they're delicious. Aren't they, darling?"
Lily catches on quickly, scooting closer to him on the bench and adopting his sickeningly sweet tone. "Only you did most of it, darling. You know how useless I am in the kitchen." She takes the cookie from him and also takes a bite.
That smile isn't fake.
"Delicious," she agrees. "Just like your mom's at -"
James freezes, watching something like realization flash across her features as she looks at the cookie in her hand. He's nearly certain she's figured him out, but before he can know for sure, Holiday cuts them off, as is her method of madness.
"I hope you know that sugar cookies won't help you win that crown," she says smugly. She crosses her arms and smirks. "Nice try, though."
"Do you think we should have made chocolate chip instead?" Lily answers, looking away from James as if nothing monumental happened between them. "Either way, we've locked some votes in already. I look forward to seeing your campaign strategy. Want to take one for later, in case you change your mind?"
Holiday says nothing. Instead, her nostrils flare in annoyance, and she spins on her heels - her hair whipping around almost violently - and marches back to her table.
James grins. "I think we've got her vote."
"Right next to Petunia's, I bet."
"Oh, definitely. Our two biggest supporters."
"Mary will have to sign them up for our next campaign fundraiser," she says. Lily still has their shared cookie in her hand, and she looks down at it, considering for a moment. "These are amazing, by the way. Much better than anything I could have done. Obviously." She glances up at him, looking thoughtful and a little amused. "When did you become such a good baker?"
"Oh, um," James starts, his voice cracking. Which is unfortunate. He's fairly certain he's already gone through puberty. "I picked up a few things here and there. Watching mom and all."
She shifts beside him, making him wonder if she's figured it out. If she knows what he's done and how far gone he is for her. Lily has always been too clever to keep much from her. "Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the year."
James opens his mouth, and he's ready to say a million things.
He wants to ask her if she knows - really knows - that he makes the cookies for her every year. If she knows all of the things he does for her and all of the things he wants to do for her. Does she even know how much she means to him for him to do that?
He wants to tell her that Christmas Eve is also his favorite day of the year. That he can't imagine a life where they don't spend Christmas Eve together every year.
He wants to say that he's terrified of what life is going to look like after high school, when they won't just be a house apart any longer.
He wants to ask if please, please can they make this not so fake. Can they please stay together like this for the rest of however long she wants him and let it be real?
But he doesn't get a chance to say anything, because a freshman girl comes up to them, bashfully asking for a cookie. He watches Lily's prom mask take over her features as she hands one to the girl with a campaign smile.
And he feels his mouth go too dry to speak.
