A/N: A big thanks to SirenBanshee. You are one amazing beta!

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The next day after lunch, Kylo felt trepidation and nerves flutter in his stomach as he made his way to the training hall. He'd informed Rey of his decision to reconnect Burman the evening before, and she knew to warn the Force-sensitive children for any abrupt movements in the Force. She'd wished him good luck that morning while trying to hide her worries. He had still been able to see them though, in the way she had looked at him and in how her kiss had lingered just a bit longer.

Upon arrival, Kylo saw that two Guards were already stationed out in the hallway. Phasma, as usual, was walking next to him.

"Nobody is to enter," Kylo said. "Not even you. You remember what happened when I reconnected Ember. I'm hoping the meditation training Burman has had will prevent such destruction, but I have no way of knowing."

"I understand, sir," Phasma answered.

Kylo nodded and opened the door.

"Sir?" Phasma spoke up.

"Yes?"

"Don't die in there."

That surprised a snort out of Kylo. "Not planning to," he answered before walking into the training room.

Burman was already there, pacing back and forth but snapping out of it as soon as Kylo entered.

"Supreme Leader," Burman greeted with a bow.

Kylo nodded in response. "I assume Ember has explained how the process went when this was first discussed?" he asked.

"Yes, she has."

"Relay to me what you remember of her explanation so I can fill in any gaps."

Burman gathered his thoughts before answering. "She said that you had to rifle through her memories from back then and that you then, somehow, found where the connection with the Force got severed. She told us she has no idea of what happened after, only that she nearly got sucked into what she calls 'a maelstrom of sorts' and that she destroyed an entire training room."

"I see," Kylo said, mindlessly summoning a bunch of cushions for them to sit on. "I will, indeed, have to review some of your memories. They will strictly remain between you and me. Nothing of what I see will ever leave this room."

He waited for Burman to nod before he continued.

"The reason why I need to see those memories is, as Ember mentioned, because I need to find the moment where you lost your connection with the Force." They settled down on the cushions. "In a moment, I will touch your temple and enter your mind. Do not fight me. If you do, it will hurt and I won't be able to prevent that. I need you to think about the last time you can remember using the Force, if you can at all, and we'll start from there."

"I don't have that many memories from Base Z," Burman said.

Kylo worried his lips. "They'll resurface when we start looking for them. I'm afraid it will be highly uncomfortable for you. It is, however, necessary."

Burman drew his shoulders back. "I understand, sir."

"Before we start with the memories, I'll take a minute to get a feel of your mind so I will be able to detect changes. When I say so, actively think back to any memory you have from Base Z and I'll guide you through the rest."

"Yes, sir."

Kylo drew a deep breath and reached for Burman's temple. Immediately, he could feel the tension radiating off of him so Kylo was careful as he sunk into the man's mind.

It wasn't what he had expected, even though he wasn't entirely sure what it was that he had been expecting. Burman's mind felt like one of the old forests he had visited on untouched planets. Mighty trees and a perpetual murkiness that comes only with the absence of light. It felt solid but it had a sense of danger that Kylo simply couldn't place. Something similar to being watched. He wondered where Burman's care was within this place. The gentleness he'd witnessed on occasion.

Refocusing on his task, Kylo reached out to the space between memories to see if he could find the Force. He had little hope, but he felt like he should try anyway. As expected, his search turned up empty.

"Start a memory," he said.

What turned up was a rather generic memory: one of Burman training close combat against a droid. Kylo watched for a bit as Burman's strength actually managed to dent it.

"Impressive," Kylo muttered.

A pleased feeling was all the answer he got, but it was enough. The Burman in the memory was obviously not a new recruit. Kylo guessed him about 16. He searched the memory for a trace of the Force, but it would have surprised him if he'd found it. At the age and level memory-Burman was, any sign of the Force would have led to his death. The odds of it still being there were near non-existent.

"We need to go further back," Kylo said.

"I'm not sure what I can show you," Burman answered.

"I can pull up the memories but it will not be a pleasant experience."

"I can deal with it."

"I will stop if you tell me to," Kylo said, before following Burman's trail of memories into his past. "Memories are always connected," Kylo explained, "whether we actively remember them or not."

He kept quickly skipping through them until he found one right at the beginning of Burman's stay at Base Z. It was a seemingly innocent memory, with a young Burman sitting on the bed of one of those small single-person rooms, if not for the pillow floating slightly above the duvet.

Burman gasped. "I- I don't remember this. Well, I do now, but I didn't before. How? How is that possible?"

"Do you remember ever having used the Force?" Kylo asked.

There was a moment of silence and a couple of flashes of memory Kylo couldn't really make sense of. "I think so," Burman finally answered, "but they're really old memories."

"Then how come you weren't more surprised when I made my intentions clear?"

Burman shrugged. "I always felt that there was something missing. At least you gave me an answer to that."

Kylo decided not to continue that train of thought and to recommence his search.

"Right," he said. "I need to move forward in time again."

It was like searching for a needle in a haystack. Where Ember had been able to help him by offering up memories of her own, Burman had suppressed so much that he could do nothing but allow Kylo to search. They kept jumping back and forth in the timeline and with each new memory, Kylo could feel Burman's distress and pain rise. A few times, Kylo contemplated if they should stop, but decided against it. Better to get it over and done with.

There was something odd about Burman's memories though. Kylo was looking for a specific moment in time where Burman's connection with the Force had snapped, but he was starting to think that that may not have happened. With every memory closer to that point, where the Force was still present, its presence had somewhat faded. Like it was slowly sizzling out.

It was clear that the young Burman had been someone who liked to please others. He'd craved his caretaker's praise so much, it was almost painful to witness. He hardly ever did anything wrong and, when he did, he suffered immensely under the consequences. Not as much under the isolation, but mostly under the disappointment.

And throughout the memories, slowly but steadily, the presence of the Force diminished. And with it, some of Burman's identity. Where Base Z was meant to create warriors that cared little for anything, Burman started caring little for himself, but much for others, up to the point where he would put anybody above himself. It made him perfect for bodyguard duties, which was what the majority of his missions had been about.

Kylo was thinking about these revelations, watching a memory of Burman listlessly eating soup while worrying about a small reprimand he'd gotten during training, when it finally happened. The barely-there presence of the Force disappeared as if it were blown out by a breeze. There was nothing remarkable about the memory. Nothing changed in the way young Burman was eating his soup. He didn't even twitch. But, just like that, he'd lost the Force.

"Huh," Kylo mumbled, staring at the scene in front of him. "Can you restart the memory?" he asked Burman.

Kylo studied the young Burman with renewed interest, watching and waiting for something to change. However, just as before, the Force simply disappeared.

"Again," Kylo asked.

He sat down across from the child, trying to keep eye contact. But there, too, nothing changed. It confused him. Remembering how he'd connected with the Force in Ember's mind, he thought maybe he would get ahead if he tried to enter child Burman's mind.

"You need to focus on your meditation," Kylo said. "This is the memory I need. However, I'm not sure how to go about it yet, which means things may suddenly start happening. Whatever happens, you breathe through it and allow it to happen. Don't cling to it. Don't fight it. Just let it happen."

"Yes, sir."

Kylo waited until he was sure Burman had centered himself, before taking a deep breath and reaching for young Burman's temple. He'd expected to be drawn in but instead he could hear the boy's thoughts.

"Why did I do that? I should not have done that. I know better. I really do. Stupid. Stupid. I'm not good enough. I have to be better. I have to do better. It's my own fault. Why did I not use my common sense? I'm an idiot. I will do better. I will. I should jus-"

Kylo flinched away as if burned. He stared at young Burman, wide-eyed, before abruptly getting up and starting to pace. He knew those thoughts. He knew them because they were his own, yet not, because they were Burman's. They hit too close to home and he didn't know how to deal with it.

"Sir?" Burman ventured. "Did it not work?"

"I-" Kylo coughed when his voice didn't fully comply. "It neither worked nor failed," he managed to say. "The result was just…unexpected."

He was glad Burman didn't comment any further as he fought to keep his emotions under control. It had caught him off-guard. He focussed on his breathing, trying to regain a semblance of control. When he finally calmed down, he wondered about what to do next.

What had caused the Force to disappear?

Still pacing, he worried his lips. The memory came to an end and Kylo mindlessly mumbled 'Again', so Burman reset it. Kylo was only half focussed on the scene he now almost knew by heart but still marked the moment where he'd touched young Burman's temple. He also marked the moment when he'd pulled out again and realised that, in between, the connection with the Force had been broken.

Kylo abruptly stopped and stared at young Burman when realisation hit him. The Force had diminished and diminished due to Burman's incessant need to please his caretakers. The constant push to do better and the breakdown of his resilience had led to the Force being slowly suppressed and severed.

He needed to convince young Burman that he was thinking wrong.

He needed to convince a child of something that Kylo himself didn't believe in. What Rey had been telling him about how Snoke's treatment had affected him, Kylo could now see echoed in young Burman's thoughts.

By telling young Burman he was wrong, Kylo was also saying the same to his younger self.

He didn't know if he truly believed it.

He didn't know if he was ready for that.

All he knew was that his own past was the only thing standing between Burman and the Force.