Dr. Kaplan entered his office and removed his coat. He shook the wetness off before hanging it to dry. His receptionist handed him a stack of folders and a cup of coffee. He looked at the pile – his patients for the day. It was going to be a full one.
He picked up the folder on top. Jane Rizzoli. She was his first appointment. He enjoyed starting his day with Jane and she was actually coming in to his office yet again because the weather was too damp and blustery. She had suggested the park promising to provide an umbrella or the passenger's seat of her car hoping he would agree instead he replied to her text with 'LOL, nice try' and told her he would see her at eight inside his office. He had been quite accommodating to her schedule and her choices of locations over the months. But today, however, she would just have to humor him. Sitting in the sunshine was one thing. This weather though uncharacteristic for this time of year was quite another.
Jane had been a steady visitor for a few months now. She had impressed him. Surprised him even. When they started this, he told her she would need to put in the work and she had. Without fail, she had done everything he had asked of her to do. She would grumble and complain but week in and week out she did it. Kaplan was quite proud of her.
He had seen her off and on for over a decade but this time had been different. Losing control in front of her children had scared her to the point she felt compelled to call him. Jane had gone through so much during her career with BPD. He followed the news, as did most of Boston so he knew some of the details but there was so much more to it so it wasn't surprising she had suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. What was surprising is that it hadn't happened to this extent before now.
That car accident was the catalyst that pushed her over the edge. Despite all the times she had been hurt, her life or the lives of her loved ones had been in danger, it was a car accident – something that happened every day – that sent her reeling. It had left her feeling less than invincible and scared and that is where he came in – to help her cope with those feelings and get back to taking no prisoners in life.
Jane had worked homicide for years and had seen so much that the majority of the citizens of Boston would never know. She gave everything she had. Was considered to be the best of the best but still somehow that accident drove home how fragile life was in a way her previous daily reality had not. Being lost for days, afraid you would never see the people you loved the most had done her in to the point she struggled to be the strong, fearless person she was known to be. That she believed herself to be.
Kaplan had asked Jane why she did what she did. She had shrugged.
"I'm good at it," she replied.
Jane didn't actually use a lot of words during much of their time together so he incorporated sessions with Maura as part of Jane's treatment plan. He was trying to understand his patient so he could better help her because although she was the one to reach out, it was sometimes hard to reach her.
He asked Maura the same question.
"From a child, Jane was a defender," Maura started. The images of a young Jane Rizzoli brought a smile to her face.
"Right and wrong meant the world to her and she wanted things in life to be fair. She felt there should be a level playing field and if there wasn't one then she should do whatever she could to make that so. I know how that sounds," she replied chuckling. "But it is true. My wife blames Saturday morning cartoons but I believe it is simply who she is. She was born to help people and she does that without expecting anything in return. Some would argue that she does get some form of satisfaction from it and that is true to a small degree but it isn't why she puts herself in harms way day in and day out.
"She has a desire to protect the defenseless, the innocent. She wants to speak for those who cannot or will not speak for themselves. It may sound trite but she really does want justice. She lives and breathes that desire."
"You're her biggest fan," he responded admiringly.
"One of many," she replied blushing. Kaplan doubted there was a bigger fan of Jane Rizzoli than Maura Isles.
He asked Jane if she thought she was a hero.
"No. I just do my job."
"Which you are good at?"
"Yeah," she replied shrugging.
He asked Maura if she thought Jane was a hero.
"Yes, I do. Without a doubt she is, although Jane doesn't believe she is. She abhors the use of the word to describe her. My wife is extremely humble. She believes that every day she goes out to do what she is paid to do. But no one is paid to do what she does the way she does it. She has saved countless lives in ways she didn't have to but this is her calling. So over and over she answers the call. When people are in danger, Jane doesn't wait for the outcome. She creates it."
He asked Jane why she felt such a huge responsibility to protect her family.
"It's my job."
Maura's response of course was more in depth.
"Jane feels responsible for everyone and everything. Since an early age she has been the one to make sure everything and everyone is as they should be. With our family, she believes it falls on her to make sure we are taken care of and are safe."
Kaplan asked Jane if she felt Maura could take care of herself.
"Hell yeah she can," Jane replied offended he would ask such a question.
"Maura is one of the strongest people I know. She is smart, brilliant, caring. She could do anything in this world and has. She has written books, best selling books while saving lives. She could be anything in this world but she continues to help us search for the truth. Because of her, we have solved homicides that no other agency would have ever been able to solve.
"She has endured being kidnapped more than once. Held at gunpoint. Almost raped and killed but she still pushes forward. Still gives. Still wants to help. She doesn't allow the bad to slow her down."
"But you worry about her?"
"Of course," she answered hoping he realized what a stupid question that was. "I love her. I don't want anything to happen to her."
"Or your children?"
"Or my children," she answered.
"But she is the strongest person you know?"
"Yeah."
"But you don't trust her?"
"What the hell? Why would you say that? Of course, I trust her. I trust her with my life," she spat out angrily. "I lean on Maura a lot, Doc. She is that which keeps me steady. Sometimes I think I lean too much and I don't want her to break."
"But she is the strongest person you know."
"Yes."
"And she hasn't broken yet?"
"No but everyone has their breaking point. No one can be expected to shoulder the world every day and not let it get to them sometimes. If she did break, I would understand. I would be there. I would carry the load," she replied passionately.
"If that is true, then why can't you allow her to do that for you?" Kaplan watched her. He watched the wheels turn. Jane smirked. She had allowed him to lead her down this path.
"I…I don't have an answer for that."
"The load gets heavy, Jane. Even for the strongest of us. It's okay when we need a little help." She nodded.
Throughout their sessions, Kaplan could see that Jane was still dealing with Agent Lee's death, which had hit her hard. He had suggested she return to the scene of the accident, which she did with Maura by her side. Frankie and Nina had gone with them for support. Jane had winced when they asked if they could. She didn't want to breakdown and appear weak in front of her little brother and his wife but Kaplan had strongly suggested that weak was really not knowing when to accept support. So she relented.
Frankie and Nina stood back as Jane and Maura walked to the edge. It was steep. The rock the car hit was massive. In her mind, she heard the sound of the car hitting the rock. She remembered how out of control she felt when they went airborne. Maura held her hand tightly as Jane relived the moments. She could see that there was nothing she could have done to save him or get them out.
"Even on a good day," Maura pointed out as she wrapped her arms around Jane's waist holding her against her, "You would have had difficulty climbing up this ravine. With your injuries, it was impossible but you kept them alive, Jane and I am so proud of you."
Jane had lost ground after the visit to the accident site and Maura had suggested to Kaplan that Jane's former partner might be able to help move her beyond this current point. As Maura had explained it, Korsak had been with Jane for years and he knew her. Maura believed that Jane needed to know that it was okay that she was still here and she felt that only Vince could help her get there. Kaplan had taken Maura's suggestion and asked Jane if she would be okay with Vince joining them. She had nodded. If Maura thought it was a good idea then she would do it.
Without hesitation, Korsak had attended the next two sessions. Kaplan needed her to see that she had made a difference in this world and that although the loss of Agent Lee was tragic and the guilt she felt was normal, she wasn't responsible and she couldn't change the outcome.
It was that second session with Korsak that brought Jane to tears but not for the reason Kaplan thought it would.
They had finished rehashing their careers together with Vince reassuring Jane it was all worth it then he took her hands in his and looked her straight in the eyes, "You survived the accident Jane and that is a good thing. I don't know why you did but I for one am glad about it. So are Maura and your children and so many others. I don't know why he didn't and you did but he wouldn't want you to feel guilty about that."
Kaplan had initially thought Korsak was referring to Agent Lee but he was wrong.
"Jane, Frost would want you to be here. He'd want you here for Maura and the kids. He wouldn't want you to feel guilty about surviving that car accident when he didn't survive his."
Jane had looked at him. Shocked. Surprised. Pained. The tears came and Jane allowed Korsak to hold her while she wept with the realization washing over her that she hadn't truly dealt with all the emotion and guilt behind losing Barry. Kaplan had noticed from their interaction that Vince was more like a father to Jane and she needed this validation. Korsak gave her permission to be okay with being a survivor and Kaplan noticed a turn in their sessions. He had written in his session notes that Maura knew her wife well. When he finished his entries, he chuckled and thought that just maybe Dr. Isles could do his job better than he could when it came to her wife.
With their weekly sessions, Jane doing her homework and Maura's guidance and support, they had successfully made strides. Jane still had trouble acknowledging her heroics but she was in a good place.
He picked up the phone.
"Sergeant Rizzoli is here."
"Send her in."
Jane knocked then opened the door slowly.
"Hey Doc."
"Jane. Come in."
Jane took her normal seat with a direct view of the door.
"Can't believe you let a little rain scare you off," she kidded.
"I'm a delicate creature, Jane," he replied laughing.
"Thanks for seeing me early. I was able to get my mother-in-law to sit with Maura while I came."
"I'm glad it worked out." She nodded.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Tired," she answered honestly. "Newborns are a young person's game."
"You aren't that old," he replied shaking his head.
"Maybe not in human years but in wear and tear on the body years times four kids and a dog I'm getting up there." He laughed.
"How is Maura?" he asked.
"Maura is good. Every day she is getting stronger. Says I am babying her," Jane answered remembering the conversation this morning before Constance arrived to sit with her.
"I don't need a babysitter, Jane," Maura said offended that Jane didn't believe she could take care of herself and their child.
"She's your mom. It isn't babysitting. It's parenting," Jane replied trying to make it sound lighthearted.
"Jane." Jane could hear the irritation in her voice. She grabbed her jacket when she heard the doorbell.
"Got to go."
"Are you?" he asked.
"Maybe…a little." He had been worried about his star patient when the situation with Maura occurred a few weeks ago. He thought this might cause her to regress but he was happy to find she hadn't. She had utilized the skills they had been working on and allowed herself to be supported. That was a big step for Jane.
"Her mother was more for my peace of mind," Jane admitted, "than for Maura."
"I know," he replied happy she was able to acknowledge that.
