A/N: To LexieLou-The first thing I want to say is I'm sorry about your brother. I saw where you said the anniversary of his death just passed.

I know you've asked about the Weechester story a couple of times and I haven't answered you yet. I'm sorry about that. I haven't been ignoring you, but my brain's been so scattered with everything going on that I just haven't really thought about it. I am still planning to do it, but with everything going on right now, I just don't want to start anything new. That story will probably be a summer project, so it will still be a while on that one yet.

As far as your question about Keep Your Perspective-no, Natalie doesn't know she's adopted. I think she's got enough to deal with, being sick and unable to function like a normal kid, without bringing that into the mix too. I'm not planning to write in where she'd be told, but I would imagine her parents would tell her when they figured she was old enough to find out-maybe her late teens or so.

As far as this chapter goes, I know the ending is sort of cheesy and lame given what just happened a chapter ago. I know that Kayla just getting over what happened to her isn't very realistic. That's not what I'm intending to portray here. She will still struggle with this, but she's starting to realize that things don't always turn out the way you dream them. Hope that makes sense.

I hope everyone's staying safe and healthy.

Kayla stared at Todd, her mouth at first failing to work. She could never have kids again? She'd always dreamed of having another baby. Kayla had always pictured herself having three children-one boy, one girl, and what Kayla secretly referred to as a 'wild card' kid. Kayla had seen how happy it made her mother to still have a kid at home to take care of after Kayla had left for college, and Kayla had wanted the same for herself.

All that was over. Kayla knew, in her mind, that raising another kid wasn't completely out of the cards. She spent her days trying to convince other people to adopt and foster children that weren't their own. There were children whose need for a home was all they thought about, day in and day out. And while Kayla had always considered adopting or fostering, she wanted one more biological child.

"Why?" was all Kayla could choke out by way of explanation.

"Why?" Todd asked.

"What…what happened? Why can't I have any more kids?" Kayla asked.

Todd looked to Sam again, and Kayla finally snapped.

"I'm getting real sick of you two looking at each other like that!" she yelled. "Tell me what the hell happened to me, right now, or the second I'm up out of this bed, I'm packing up my children and moving out!"

"Okay, sweetie. I'm sorry. I'll tell you, just please lay back down." Todd begged. "Please."

"No. Tell me first."

"Fine." Todd swallowed and broke the news. "The doctor removed the mass. It was still inside your uterus. But they couldn't control the bleeding. Your blood pressure kept dropping, and you actually flatlined once."

"So what did they do?" Kayla asked.

"You had to have a hysterectomy." Todd said. "There was no other choice…"

Kayla's mental fog was beginning to clear, and she realized with a growing horror what exactly Todd was saying. "You gave them permission to do that?"

Sam, who'd been watching Todd struggle to deliver the news, finally stepped in. "Honey, he didn't have a choice."

"And you didn't stop him?" Kayla asked. She'd never felt more betrayed. "Neither of you had the right to make that decision without talking to me first."

"Kay, we couldn't talk to you." Sam said. "You were unconscious and dying, honey. Todd had about three seconds to make the choice."

"Babe, please hear me out." Todd begged. "I was thinking of Sammie and Jessie…"

"Get out." Kayla said bitterly. "Both of you get out. Now."

"Kay…" Sam tried.

"GET OUT!" Kayla tried to grab her pillow and throw it at them, but another jolt of pain flared up and she let out a groan.

"Kayla…"

"I said get out. Get out now. Both of you." Kayla said.

A deep part of her knew that her anger was irrational. She knew that Todd would never have made that type of decision without consulting her unless her life was in immediate danger. She could see it in his face. He was in almost as much pain about it as she was. Sam was the same. He wouldn't have allowed this if there was a chance that anything else would work. But all she could see was her own shattered dream.

"I want my kids."

"Baby, it's after midnight…"

"I don't care. I want my kids here. Now." Kayla said.

"Okay. Okay. Tayler has them. I'll go get them and bring them back…"

Kayla recovered a little of her senses. "No. Don't wake them up. Just bring them in the morning."

"We'll do that." Todd said. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to see either of you right now. Just leave."

Kayla tried to avoid looking at either of their faces. She turned and stared out the window. Once she heard the door to the hospital room close, Kayla started crying softly. She was suddenly overcome with something she hadn't felt in full force in years.

Grief.

She wanted all the people in her life she couldn't have anymore. Bobby. John. Dean. Her mother. Her sister. Her grandmother. Leslie. The dreams she'd been having lately of Leslie as a toddler, running around the front yard of Bobby's house chasing a ball with various family members chasing after him, was no longer a source of comfort for her, but instead a source of deep pain.

Kayla must have fallen asleep, because what felt like a few seconds later, there was someone gently shaking her awake.

"Kay. Wake up, baby."

Kayla moaned and pulled her blanket up tighter against her. "No."

"Wake up, grumpy baby."

Grumpy baby, Kayla thought. Only one person had ever called her that before. Kayla opened her eyes and turned over.

"Mommy?"

Jess smiled. "You haven't called me that in years."

"What? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." Jess said. "I do that a lot."

"You do?"

Jess nodded. "Yep. We all do."

"All? Who's all?"

"Me. Your grandma. Bobby. Your grandpa. Mary."

"Where are they?" Kayla asked. "Can I see them now?"

"Sorry, honey. Only one of us at a time." Jess said.

"Why?" Kayla asked. "Mommy, please. I need you guys."

"Shh." Jess said. "Come here, baby."

"I can't."

"Trust me, honey. Sit up."

Kayla cautiously attempted to sit up, amazed when there was no pain. "What…? This is a dream, isn't it?"

"It's as real as you need it to be."

Kayla smiled and took her place next to Jess. She leaned into her mom's side, amazed at how familiar it still felt, even though Jess had been gone almost a decade. The two sat together in silence for a few minutes, before Jess began to wipe away the tears Kayla was crying again.

"Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I miss you so much." Kayla said. "Why'd you have to go?"

"I miss you too." Jess said. "I want every day to be here with you and your father."

"He's not the same person." Kayla told Jess. "He hasn't been ever since…"

"I know." Jess answered. "I know he's not. But you've helped bring him back."

"I haven't done anything important for him." Kayla said. "Nothing he wouldn't have done for me."

"That's my whole point, Kayla." Jess said. "You may not see it, but you've held all of us together in some way. Not just me and your father, but your sister, your uncle, your grandmother, Bobby. We would've fallen apart without you."

"I feel like I'm falling apart now."

"I know. That's why I'm here."

"Can you stay?"

"Until you wake up, I can." Jess said.

"Mom? Do you watch?"

"Watch?"

"Me." Kayla explained. "Do you watch everything?"

"I know what's going on." Jess said.

"They really didn't have a choice, did they?"

Jess nodded sadly. "Todd was telling the truth. The doctors couldn't stop your bleeding, and the only thing they could think to do was take out the source of it. He wasn't trying to hurt you on purpose."

"I know." Kayla said. "It just feels…"

"I can only imagine how this feels. But think about something. Think about all that you've been through in your life and how much you've overcome. This will pass too."

Kayla smiled. "How'd you know I needed to hear that?"

"Mommy knows." Jess said with a smile. "And I'll tell you something else. That dream you have sometimes? With Leslie running around the yard? It's not a dream."

"What do you mean?"

"It's sort of a picture. From me to you."

"It's real?"

"That's right. He's quite the playful little one. Just like someone else was when they were his age."

"Can I see him?"

"Look beside you."

Kayla turned to her other side and gasped. There sat a little boy, maybe four or five years old, with shoulder length brown hair and hazel eyes. He was grinning and missing a tooth, and had a hand in his mouth. Kayla was struck by how similar he looked to baby pictures she'd seen of Sam. She swallowed.

"Leslie?"

The little boy nodded. "Hi, Mommy."

Kayla laughed and grabbed him. "Hi, my baby." Still holding him close, Kayla asked, "Why isn't he older?"

"It's a long story. Just enjoy this." Jess said. "We don't have long."

"I miss you so much." Kayla said to Leslie, kissing his hair.

"I miss you too, Mommy."

"I'm sorry." Kayla said. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

"I'm okay, Mommy. Me and Nana has a good time up there."

"You do?" Kayla asked.

"Yeah. We do." Leslie answered. "I can't wait for you and Daddy to be there."

"Which better not be for a long, long time." Jess said.

Kayla nodded. "Got it, Mom."

"Mom?"

Kayla shuddered. She was somehow back in bed. This time, though, when she turned, there was pain again. It wasn't Jess and Leslie there with her; it was Todd, Sam, Samantha, and Jessie.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

Kayla turned around. "Hey, Sammie."

"Hey, Mom. Are you okay?" An anxious Samantha asked.

"Help me sit up, baby." Once she was propped back up onto her bed, Kayla pulled Sammie and Jessie to her for a tight hug. "I love you both so much, you know that?"

"We know, Mom. You okay?" Twelve-year-old Jessie asked.

"I'm just fine." Kayla turned towards Sam and Todd, both of whom were still looking guilty. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Getting mad at you last night. This wasn't your fault." Kayla said. "Both of you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, baby." Todd said. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

Kayla took a deep breath before answering. "Better. We can talk more later." She finally released Sammie and Jessie, then nodded and said, more to herself than anyone else, "Everything's perfect just the way it is."