A/N: Many thanks to akismusicbox for helping me beta Sho's journey! I am learning so much writing this and having an absolute blast. Sho is having... less of a blast... but... but that's his job? FUWA FUWA FUWA - despite the meaning of the Japanese word, this boy was not made for fluff.

Thanks for the reads and reviews! Every single one makes my day! Especially the spastic ones bc yo I feel you, ya spazz. Persie loves you all!

Chasing Glory

Second late night show in a row - Sho wasn't sure what Americans found so captivating about them; the hosts asked similar questions and it was still just him and the one guy playing off each other. Maybe it was the host's red hair? This one did have a jazz band that played riffs after jokes. He missed the slightly psychotic beat of talk shows back home.

But damn, his live show at the end had been surreal. His name was being screamed by Americans. He could feel it; that tension between singer and audience where he held their hearts in the palm of his hand and they were begging, craving, demanding that he fill them with his voice. He cracked his neck, waiting for the elevator to finish its long ascent to the penthouse afterparty.

To think he could step off stage and lose it all so easily.

The elevator doors opened to a scene full of noise and light and life. He shoved any morbid thoughts to the back of his mind. This was where he belonged, in the center of it all. A stranger turned at his entrance and hollered "Eyyyy," handing him a beer. He slammed it open on a nearby table, earning a chorus of "f yeahs" and "fo sho's." He chugged it, tossing it at an already overflowing trash can. He didn't even know what "fo sho" meant, but it was his tag now, and he loved it. He high fived random people, twisting through the crowd.

A teen wearing sunglasses despite the dimness inside, his phone screen glowing as he talked animatedly at it grabbed him around the shoulders and pressed his forehead to Sho's, bouncing and hollering "Fo sho! Fo sho!" Sho went with it, laughing and chanting, making a total ass of himself. The phone screen filled with hearts and blue thumbs, the colorful haze almost completely blocking out their faces. He watched as comments in English poured in, faster than he could read, the sheer volume of influence in the moment coursing through his veins.

This was the opposite of his chains. This was his on-stage freedom, reaching out and connecting on his own power. He waved at the screen, smiling broadly at the pitter-patter of emojis floating up it.

"How do I set one of these up?" he asked the boy, shouting to be heard over the din.

"Just click Live, man!" He threw Sho a weird look and pointed at the button near the top of his page. "Click Live and the world can watch!"

Sho opened his own newsfeed, thumb hovering over the Live button.

"Hell yeah man, first Live!" The teen angled his phone camera at Sho, fist pumping the air while watching his selfie be smothered in laughing smiley faces.

Sho clicked. The screen timed up gray, then flashed to his face with Sunglasses Dude streaming by his side. Sho grinned, boyish excitement flooding his features.

"Hey, world," he said. "It's Sho!"

Sho sat on his bed cross legged the next morning in his favorite white tee and a pair of gray sweats. His hair was growing out annoyingly; he felt like he had a nervous tic, sweeping his bangs to the side every thirty seconds as he tried to write. His phone lay on the bed next to him.

New Message

To: Koga

Subject: yawn

—so tired. are you sleeping? went to a party last night. they didn't even have strawberry flavored drinks. Waste Of Time

He tapped out a rhythm with his pencil, humming the syncopated beats for a bridge lyric set. His phone screen went dark against the white sheets, snagging his peripheral view. An idea swept across his features. He scooped up his phone and opened social media.

Sho buried his head in his pillow before the Live started, poking out playfully when he started to feel the vibrations of incoming comments. Hearts and laughing faces flooded his screen. He looked ridiculous with his bed head and almost reached up to try and pat it down. But this was his window out— the reminder of who he was, who he wanted to be- and he needed it to be real. Or at least as real as he could make it for them. He left the hair, smiling sheepishly at the front camera.

"Good morning… hope you are well."

Today was the music video shoot. He was desperate to tell them, to put his voice into the mad story and take control of his version. He propped his chin up with the pillow, making a yawning face before starting.

"Today is the first day of our shoot for a new video," he paused, reading comments. "Thanks everyone, yes I am looking forward to you seeing it. I have a special guest too; I think you will remember him. We are working together on the video, so I definitely want you to be watching for it!" He waved, thanking everyone again, finally taking a moment to run his hand through his hair with a side comment on waking up already looking ready for a punk rock show. One last smile and he signed off, falling back on the bed with a whumph. He sounded like a K-Pop wuss. He cocked his head and made bunny ears with his fingers, grimacing sarcastically at his ceiling. "Hey, it's Sho, O.M.G. so kawaii!" How was he supposed to talk normally on these videos without being half-drunk? He rolled over, burying his face in his pillow and blindly patting the covers for where he'd flung his phone.

New Message

To: Koga

Subject: Work blah

—on the way to work. you better not slack

Shoko came into his dressing room, armed with her schedule book and phone as usual. She found him mid-costuming, his hairstylist busy back-combing to make the spiked style over his shoulders more intense. He glared at her from under the low fringe, leather gloves creaking as he clenched his hands tight.

Shoko blew up at her own bangs, one of her classic gestures of frustration. "Why are you being so difficult, Sho?"

"Method acting," he said.

She huffed at him, coming to sit in the chair next to him. "You really don't want to do this, do you?"

Sho shrugged, his face blank. He wanted to vomit it all out into her lap right there, but the consequences to his reputation of ever admitting that he had been forced by Reino of all people gnawed at him.

"He's been so thoughtful about the offer; I couldn't refuse him," she spun her chair to face Sho, forcing him to school his features. "He said he wants to do whatever he can to help your career as an apology for the way he acted." The hairdresser's comb made soft scritching sounds as she brushed, his dark eyeliner stark beneath the bulb lights. He raised his hand to touch the lines; the hairdresser gently pushed it down and away. Shoko was still talking.

"He's a model now, too— we might be able to grab some photos while he's on set and use them for extra publicity." Model. Stand there and stare ominously while everyone else works. Suits him perfectly. "Oh come on, please," she finished, patting his leg. "Would texting Koga help this awful funk you're in?"

Sho jerked back like he'd been shot. The hairdresser squeaked in confusion, her comb tangled in his hair.

"No-" He paused, searching for words. "I already- It's fine, I shared on Live today that we had a guest for the video. It's fine." His words felt like defeat, but maybe that was just the syrupy-sweet tone he'd had in the Live wearing on him still. He rubbed his fingers together, watching the movement closely. If he could pull this off- if he could rip the control of this video back from Reino and stamp it with his own brand of magic-

His eyes lit with determination, watching himself closely in the mirror.

No ifs.

This was already his.

I'll see you for the afterparty

Sho slammed the door of the taxi. Riding home with Shoko was not an option. He should find a different manager. Or no manager. How hard could it be, keeping his schedule?

Never mind. He didn't want more work.

It had gone exactly as he wanted. A lapse when Reino slid the chains around him, his thumb pressing in on one of the bruises hidden beneath layers of costume, not to cause pain - just to make sure he remembered. He'd felt his heart rate rocket and had earned an NG when he closed his eyes to hide the panic.

There was a reason he had requested leather gloves be added to the costume for both of them. Going in he knew he had a shield, that his skin couldn't be touched. It ate at him that even so he'd been weak enough to flinch beneath the mindgames.

I'll see you for the afterparty

Sno sneered. He'd go to the hotel tonight- no more running and hiding in cold dressing rooms, he would not be chased out of his own home. But he'd be damned if he showed up in any state resembling sobriety. The taxi pulled up outside the closest bar. He didn't even care what the name was; it was loud, bright, and seething with life. He tossed a twenty at the driver and stepped out, his hands sliding into the pockets of his black skull-printed jacket.

Five shots later and Sho found himself standing on a chair in the corner, a makeshift stage with his new friends surrounding him, egging him on to perform. A hand held a bright yellow shot up to him; he tossed it back with a shout, thrusting the empty glass up to the ceiling. He felt wild and reckless - anything could happen and it would go exactly like he wanted. He started to sing, stepping from one chair to another, grabbing a beer from a waitress's tray and holding it high as he swayed to his own sound. The bar crowd throbbed around him, clapping and dancing. A man leaped up onto the chair behind him, busting out a beatbox layer for his vocals. Somehow they were hugging, holding on to each other high above the crowd, his rhythm piercingly loud in Sho's ear as he sang Chocolate for the people.

He could make anywhere a stage. He could make anyone his fans. He was fire and sound and song, and this city was going to burn with it.

New Message

To: Koga

Subject: askghajsjd

-i can't evern tell u y aren't u hereeeeeeeeeeeeee lmao ur missin it ass i'm going to make everyone want me and someday maybe u will too

Sho fumbled with the lock on his door, exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. He couldn't make his fingers work; he kept missing the key card slot. He leaned against the door to steady himself and try again, but the door swung open easily.

"That… was definitely locked," he said to himself, shrugging as he stepped inside. He bowed a thank you to the door before closing it. The soft sound of cloth rustling against leather met his ear. He froze, turning slowly.

There, on the bed.

Sho sagged against the wall, weariness overcoming him. He'd been to another world and back tonight, and the shock of it all crashing around him again made his head spin. He forced himself to remember the fire and glory, to hold tight to who he could be outside this room.

"I just… want to be alone."

"You are." Reino's voice was dark with threat. "Never forget it."

His purple eyes gleamed in the lamplight as he crooked his fingers. Sho stumbled forward, pulling his shirt off over his head. The curtains were drawn tight, as if this room had been sealed off from the rest of existence. Remember who you can be.

"Good boy," Reino said as Sho sank onto the bed next to him. He gripped the sheets tightly, bracing himself for the sickening dimness that would take him when Reino's hand brushed his skin.

New Message

To: Koga

Subject:

-i miss you